Husband treats pregnant wife badly!

[I.Iman]

Salam Aleykum wa ramatullah wa barakato.

This question concern how to deal with a pregnant wife.

A couple have arguments alot and the husband many times want to pick a fight with his wife who is pregnant.

How should this women deal with this and should she put up with this?? What can she do?

Jazakallah kheir

 

[Islam!!yay]

:salam2:

I don't know if you are her, but how does he treat the pregnant woman? is he being Physically harming at times and what does he argue about ? either way a Muslim man should never treat his wife with any harm,but speak to her with honor!

My suggestion is to go to a family or friend's place and let the man cool himself down and give him time to think a little and maybe settle the problem in front family members.

May Allah SWT Help us all Ameen Ya Rab !!!

 

[a_stranger]

:salam2:

I think this sister should try to understand her husband may be she is hurting him without intention ....the first step is to start with our ownselves .....it is easier. Then she can disccuse with him calmly and solve the problem quietly. We should remember that those who forgive and forget are the best. Life is full of troubles only Janna is a perfect place.

 

[Idris16]

Salam Aleykum wa ramatullah wa barakato.

This question concern how to deal with a pregnant wife.

A couple have arguments alot and the husband many times want to pick a fight with his wife who is pregnant.

How should this women deal with this and should she put up with this?? What can she do?

Jazakallah kheir

wa alaykum salam warahmatullah wabarakatuh
Does this husband pray Salaat?

 

[I.Iman]

Yes,verbaly. Complains alot, doesn't help at home when his wife is tired, she works fulltime (!) he is home! And often arguing in front of the children, and calling her bad names, saying things that hurt her etc. She understands he is depresed because not having a job,but she is pregnant and having a very difficult pregnancy and definitely does not need this now! She is getting more and more sad and depressed and also have other children to take care of.

Yes her husband pray salaat, both of them do.
:tti_sister:

 

[Idris16]

So whats his problems? Why did he get angry at the first place. It seems its not the first time the husband gets angry so how did the problem start?

 

[Noor El-Huda]

assalam alaykum sister

If the sister feels that this is not just a phase that the husband is going through, due to some issue, like he just lost a job or something of the sort, if it is his general nature not to be respectuful, understanding the sister can take it in gradual steps.

The sister can approach her husband when they are both calm. (she needs to be clam too so she is in control of her emotions and things do not blow out of proportion). She needs to try and explain to her husband the difficulties she is going through,with an aim to get him to feel with her.The sister needs to keep in mind that he may not intend to hurt her, although he is.The husband might not be aware how this is affecting her or the way he was raised it was not part of his upbringing to be cooperative or understanding and maybe the way he speaks which the sister finds offensive, he may percieve it as normal.

If it helps getting your thoughts on a piece of paper or email, reread what you've written so it is not full of accusations, but balanced. Try mentioning all his positives, and show your appreciation, then go on to his shortcomings and show him how it would make your love grow deeper when these issues are worked at.

Give him time and praise every little effort and positives. Although it may not seem much, but it is the way forward and would get him encouraged to continue.Do not despair quickly, but if the sister feels that she had given things time and effort and there is very little response , then it might be an idea to get a trusted person who could have a quiet word with the husband. To reflect to him all the good things that they see in the marriage and point out that it would be a great pitty to see things deteriorate.

The sister could also allocate a special time to read quran and hadiths with the husband. It is advisable that she does not go directly to the issues that mean a lot to her, so this session does not turn into each side pointing to the others shortcomings and it becomes argument time. Rather the sister needs to aim to make this a peraceful time and the couple are bound to indirectly come across ayat and hadiths that remind each of them of their responsibilities to each other, soften their hearts to one another and create a greater bondage, as this is a sesssion when the angles are present and Allah's blessings and mercy will be bestowed on them. May Allah restore peace and harmony in their marriage.

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

When a woman is this special state she is very very sensitive. The hormonal surges are almost as bad as when a woman goes through menopause.

Ignore him sister. Do not allow anything to escalate. You reach deep down to sabr. You must understand whatever you feel the unborn child feels this as well.

Take time to spend with your unborn child. When you rest gently massage your blessing to be.

If your husband wants to pick a fight..leave the room and think of gentle thoughts and praise Allah. Praise Allah; recite ayats of the Quran; if you do not have time for that than simply call one of His Holy Names;

Please do not have eye contact if your husband should wish to fight; simply lower your gaze and think of your blessings.

Sister, InshaAllah you will have a beautiful child. Keep us posted. Start writing to us in the sisters section. We have many a sister here who will talk to you about babies and whatnot. Concentrate on the positive.

( men get jealous when women are pregnant. Go figure..they are not the center of the universe anymore...spoil him once in while )

 

[Ahsen]

Maybe make him a cup of tea or soup to calm his nerves.

 

[a_stranger]

:salam2:

I think it is a good idea if she encourage her husband to participate in any good activity , volunteer to do some good , memorise Quran or do something for the masged. Try to have a good company ....some muslem family....he might learn how to treat his wife. If he can study .....it is a good idea.....

She has to understand that he feel upset because he is not working as a man should do. He try to overcome this ......by showing his muscles ......he don't feel the hardship of his wife ....he is concentrating on his own proplems .....she should wisely try to make understand what is she going through .......I pray that Allah help them both overcome all their difficulties .

 

[I.Iman]

Jazakallah Kheir! Yes, it all starts with her husband always looking for faults, and has a bad temper! There is no way she can predict what he might find and start an argument about.

It is my personal opinion a women should never put up with this, especially sins he continue doing this. And her unborn baby comes before her husband. Her wellbeing is also the babies wellbeing.

Thank you all for answering, May Allah shower his blessings upon you.

Salam

 

[esperanza]

Jazakallah Kheir! Yes, it all starts with her husband always looking for faults, and has a bad temper! There is no way she can predict what he might find and start an argument about.

It is my personal opinion a women should never put up with this, especially sins he continue doing this. And her unborn baby comes before her husband. Her wellbeing is also the babies wellbeing.

Thank you all for answering, May Allah shower his blessings upon you.

Salam

salam sister..unfortunately some husbands do have bad tempers,and seem to always be finding faults,,,and the woman feels under constant criticism,,,
all we can do is try to be pateint and in this case the sister must think of herslef beasue of the baby in side her..
yes the man should be espeially considerate at this time but for some reason he is not,,,
maybe becasue of pressures he is under.
unfortunaTELY HE MAKE TAKE IT OUT ON THOSE WHO LEAST DESERVE IT
..may Allah give the sister patience and strength and may this man realsie the errors of his ways inshallah