As salaamu alaikum sister:
I don't know how your faith is at this moment, and I would hate for it to be shaken by this problem seek peace and guidance from Allah As salaam at this point. KNow that his actions are not Islamic or becoming as a Muslim Man who is suppose to be the provider in everyway including, spiritual guidance, wisdom, reason, understanding, and direction for the family. He is acting like a child, this is an 11 yr old child, and she should not be dispelled from the safety of the home. You are the parent so how can she be guided outside of the home, how can this behavior be correct without mutual consultation.
I know you want real anwers so I not going to sugar coat it by just saying pray. People are abused and just pray,and are still abused. However, you have to go a step further by praying and maping out a course of action and asking Allah ta ala for guidance in the process:
I think you should go to your masjid and speak with the imam about this issue.
Also you need to find some info on Mutual consultation so you 2 can reason.
It is okay for you to gather islamic knowledge in family matters and present it to him, and certainly if he is having this problem with your daughter you talk to her, and InshaAllah this will help, she will stop upsetting, him and he will change his course of response and actions
feel free to email me.
salaams
G