I tried to make ammends with someone and they said hurtful things to me.
Maybe Allah is punishing me for the sins i made. I feel so ashamed.
I've deleted my facebook, and my msn now. I cut off contact with every guy i know.
I keep crying and crying...everytime i think i'm a good muslim something happens and i feel like i have climb back up.
No more music, or tv. Nothing. From now on, everything i do will be for the sake of Allah...before i used to say it....now i feel it...what it means to do somethig for the sake of Allah.
Allah accepted all my duas....everything i asked for in Ramadan He gave me. I am a horrible slave...i sin even after He accepts my prayers. I hate myself for doing such things. I am so ungrateful. I feel Allahs fear in my heart. I feel His anger. HOW CAN I DISOBEY HIM AFTER HE ACCEPTS MY DUA. whats wrong with me???? Why after Ramadan??? I feel like its a constant struggle inside me that NEVER stops. I've decided to fast every mon and thursday from now on.
I'm completely finished with seeking happiness in other than Allah. I am so angry with myself
Asalaamu Alaikum wr wb, my Sister Allah tests those that he wants closest to him so be happy Allah is testing you so that you can become closer to him. Thats not a privelage that everyone has.
Also my Sister you need to ALWAYS keep reminding yourself that there is NOT a second to waste being down or depressed about anything and that we can go out of this world at ANY SECOND so we have to spend EVERY valuable second pleasing Allah and filling up our good deed accounts. If we keep constantly reminding ourselves of this then we will constantly busy ourselves with Zikr and we will have no time for being down or depressed.
We need to keep thinking that EVERYTHING that happens happens because of the will of Allah so whatever will happen will happen anyway so there is NO point of us being worried about it or down or depressed about it. We need to keep reminding ourselves that this world is only for a very short whgile and as our beloved Rasulallah (Saw) said we should think that we are just passers by in this world and travellers ready for our ETERNAL destination in the hereafter. That is our final abode and rsting place and that is all we should desire and work towards. We should only work towards this world as much as we can survive comfortably.
It is shaythan who wants to confuse us and slow down our progress. He wants to mess our heads up and try and give us distractions but my Sister lets not EVER let shaythan distract us away from pleasing Allah and worshipping him! We should keep reminding ourselves that shaythan just wants to decieve us and make us down and depressed so we can waste time and not fill up our good deed accounts and he wants to prevent us from pleasing Allah so we should realise that he is trying to do this and work EVEN harder to please Allah and think to ourselves
"I have no time to be down or depressed because whatever will happen in life will happen but i have to make the best of EVERY second because my life in this world can end at ANYTIME! So i need to do as much good as possible and try my best to please Allah every second! There is no time or need for me to be down or depressed because I rely on Allah for EVERYTHING and i depend on him and put my hopes and trust in him and I put my FULL FAITH in him because he created me and NOTHING happens without his will!"
Say this to yourself with FULL sincerity and conviction EVERY day and inshallah you will realise that there is NO need to EVER get down or depressed and you will have no time to EVER be down or depressed.
You need to try and find good pious local Sister who are working for the akhirah. You are who your friends are and if your friends are those who desire this world then you need to get away from them and go towards those who are working for the akhirah!
My Sister in order to attain khushu (imaging we can see Allah when praying or doing good deeds) we need to clear our minds of all thoughts and focus SOLELY on Allah! We need to gain more sincerety in our hearts and clean out from our hearts the love of this dunya!
This can be attained but it’s not an over night process, but my Sister our imaan can constantly remain strong and high if we constantly glorify Allah throughout the day and remember him no matter what we do!
We should imagine him watching us glorify him and think of him and we should do lots of duas throughout the day and gain a close relationship with Allah!
We should read much of the Qur'an and its meanings and contemplate and ponder over its meanings. We should try and spend a little time each day trying to memorise bits of the Qur'an and even make intention that we want to memorise all of it because W e will get our reward depending on our intention!
We should try and learn and implement as MANY Sunnahs of our beloved Rasulallah (Saw) as possible who is our role model and we should learn the masnoon duas and implement them EVERYDAY in our lives! Learn all the duas from waking up and everything throughout the day until you go to sleep and then you will have NO time to even think of being down or depressed.
We should learn the life story and the seerah of our beloved rasul (Saw) and learn about every aspect of his most amazing life! This will surely soften our hearts!
We should learn about the stories of the pious predecessors and the hero women of Islam and take them as our hero’s because they are the true hero’s of this world!
We should constantly remind ourselves of death and read about it all the time my Sister and read about what will happen to us after death in the grave and in the hereafter! Death is the destroyer of pleasures so we should remember it ALL the time and think about all the ones that have gone and think to ourselves that these are our precious seconds that we have to make the best use of and after these precious seconds are gone then we have NOTHING left expect the deeds that we have done. Our seconds can end at ANYTIME!
We should learn about our possible rewards in Jannah and our demise in Jahannam if we fail and die without imaan May Allah save us all!
We should try and gain a thirst for knowledge my Sister because it is said that the ones with knowledge and the ones without knowledge is like the distance from here to the star that you can see shining and learning knowledge of Islam will opens up our eyes wider than they currently are.
My Sister we need to try and constantly occupy ourselves with the Zikr of Allah and glorify him day and night!
Allah says in the Qur'an "Remember Allah abundantly, in order that you become successful"
Quran (Surah 8: Verse 45)
"Only in the remembrance of Allah (swt) will your heart find peace" Quran (Surah 13: Verse 28)
"Those men and women who engage much in Allah's praise. for them Allah has prepared forgiveness and a Great Reward"
Quran (Surah 33: Verse 35)
"When any group of men remember Allah, angels surround them and mercy covers them, tranquility descends upon them, and Allah mentions them to those who are with Him." (Muslim)
We also know that remembering Allah is of the greatest deed:
"The rememebrence of Allah (swt) is the greatest (deed)"
Quran (Surah 29: Verse 45)
and of the the worst things we can do is not to remember Allah:
"Satan has mastered them and caused them to forget the Remembrance of Allah. Those are satan's party; and satan's party shall assuredly be the losers"
Quran (Surah 58: Verse 19)
"Whosoever turns away from the Remembrance of Allah, He will hurl him into a stern punishment".
Quran (Surah 72: Verse 17)
"Whosoever turns away from My remembrance, his life will be made tight and narrow on the Day of Resurrection We shall raise him blind"
Quran (Surah 20: Verse 124)
Allah tells us to remember him no matter what we do whether that be lying or sitting down:
"They are the most wise who remember Allah, standing sitting and lying down"
Quran (Surah 4: Verse 190)
We should remember Allah no matter what we are doing and we should ALWAYS try to keep our tongues moist with his rememberance and glorification.
Here are some VERY easy and rewarding ways of earning good deeds by Zikr:
Simple Good Deeds For all of us to do Everyday!
http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=44968
My Sister we need to try and gain the closeness to Allah by reading MANY nafil salah's as we can everyday.
In the morning when waking up for tahajjud even if its 20 mins before start of Fajr and then wait until Fajr and pray that and then do ibaadah until ishraaq(Sunrise) and then pray that Salah and then the breakfast salah(Salaatul Duhaa) and then pray Zuhr with all the sunnah and Nafil and same with Asr and make some time to do ibaadah until Maghrib and read the nafils after that (Salaatul Awabeen) and read isha and all the sunnah and nafil and do zikr throughout the day.
Here is more explanation of the many Nafil Salah will we can everyday so we cna be the closest to Allah
VERY Rewarding Nafl Salaahs we can Pray Everyday
http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=49289
So my Sister if we do all of these good deeds constantly throughout the day and busy ourselves constantly with wanting to please Allah then not only are we implementing Islam FULLY in our lives and becoming SO SO close to Allah and feeling the best feeling in our hearts that we can EVER imagine Which will cause the feeling of the sweetness of imaan in our hearts but at the same time we will be occupying our daily lives constantly in worship of Allah and will have NO time for feeling down or depressed and Allah will give our hearts what our hearts want and that is true contentment and true contentment leads to happiness!Oh what a beautiful feeling it is!
Repeat: Subhanallah!
My Sister we should try and cry to Allah everyday on our duas and feel him close to us in our hearts!
We should cry over our sins and cry to him for guidance and help in our lives and ask of him for EVERYTHING we want, especially in this last portion of the night where duas are more readily accepted. Just like a mother runs to its baby when it’s crying then will Allah not swiftly attend to us when we cry to him in dua? We should have hope of his mercy after sincere repentance and make intention not to repeat the sin again but if we do then we should continue to ask for repentance my Sister because Allah is most merciful and his mercy overcomes his wrath! Allah gets angry at those who don't ask of him!
We should ALWAYS make dua for our parents and all of the Muslims. If we make dua for EVERY Muslim then we will get the reward of EVERY Muslim. So that’s BILLIONS of good deeds every time we pray for everyone! We need to make a habit of doing this!
My Sister you should try to get involved with the local Islamic activities and dawah work with other sisters and get involved in a sisters circle. Get involved with Muslim charities and local work to benefit the Muslims and invite them towards good.
My Sister our aim should be to occupy ALL of our time in doing good deeds to please Allah!
We should from now on have FULL hope in him and him ONLY! We should have FULL reliance in him and accept the fact that if he tests us then he is wanting us to be the closest to him and we should bare the test with patience! He ONLY tests those he wants closest to him!
My Sister I hope these very useful and beneficial links may help you:
25 Ways to Deal with Stress and Anxiety VERY GOOD THREAD
http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=43179
10 Steps to Increasing our Iman(Faith)
http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=40459
Signs of Weak Iman and How to Increase It
http://www.missionislam.com/knowledge/weakimanfix.htm
The Four Poisons of the Heart
http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=42540
A party in Paradise, A party in Hellfire
http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=39698
The Spectacle of Death - Tawfique Chowdhury
http://www.islamictube.net/watch/1619115357/The-Spectacle-of-Death---Tawfique-Chowdhury
The Ultimate Motivation for Muslims
http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=49243
The State of the People of Paradise in this World
http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=49125
Please remember me in your dua's.
