:salam2:
Let me say this:
Humanity has been around for a very long time, during this time people have lived and are still living in small villages where there are little or no facilities that a modern town has. In these places to get married they don't go to a court etc. Here people get together and announce that now this man and woman are husband and wife. That is it... For instance bedouins living in deserts, they just hand over their daughter to a man in front of other member bedouins while a older member performs the nikah ceremony and wedding is done without any paper or court.
Over the past 14 centuries I am sure many Muslim communities lived like this. So in the sight of Allah when a man and a women declare in front of other people of their community with Allah as their witness that from now on they will live together as husband and wife, this is a marriage. But if you have facility to document your marriage then it is recommended that you should document it. And it is recommended that you also follow the norm of the society you live in.
Having said that suppose there is a complicated legal roadblock in getting "legally married", then what would you do? Or imagine like Jews when they were hunted by Nazis in Germany and they were hiding, so suppose some Muslims are in the same situation and they want to get married in the eyes of Allah... Then what they should do? In this situation then they can assemble their friends and relatives and can have a wedding done privately. The reason a wali is needed is that the wali is a person who safeguards the right of the woman (normally a father or brother or uncle). But if the situation is such that the woman is already living with the man and already have kids with him and they just want to convert their sinful relation into a sinless relation, then the reason to have a wali in my opinion is not really needed. A wali talks to the man before wedding and settles how much "mahr" would be (i.e. the money/gift the husband must give to his bride etc, because normally the woman has not talked to the man before her wedding). Here the situation is opposite, I am sure she can handle the negotiations herself, but if she can find a wali then it would be more proper.
For the woman to convert to Islam for the sake of a man or marriage is not wonderful or even needed. She should convert after understanding Islam and for the sake of Allah. Only then she could be a good Muslimah in the eyes of Allah (SWT).
My dua is that may Allah have mercy on these two souls and accept their wedding and accept their repentance, and remove all their sins and give them hidayah (guidance) so that they live the rest of their lives as good pious Muslims and grant their whole family Jannah Al-Firdous in the hereafter. Ameen!
