Is it necessary for the wife to work????

[Amirah20]

:salam2:

Sister.. Sometimes both couples are forced to agree upon this issue. There are various fundemental factors that determine whether it is necessary for a wife to find emplyment., and believe me sister that doesnt mean that men in this ummah aren't true men. For instance, the factors that play a major role on the whole of this issue is, 1) the husband educational background, 2) economic problems in the country will lead to inflation 'unemployment', 3) May be his chosen field is not desired in this country, 4) may be being a muslim made it even more difficult to find a job with his degree, 5) certain wives wont accept to live with the husband's basic salary, 6) certain families believe that morgage is a must' in order to reach a specific class within ones community, 7) life is too expensive, ect......

excuses after excuses brother...

The Prophet (pbuh) lived a VERY simple life style are we better than him? Look at Asiah (r.a) she traded the luxuries of this life the for the next life. We should be happy with the necessities and nothing more.

Today very few Muslim men follow the life style our Prophet (pbuh) lead, but alhamdullilah there are few men out there who follow the examples of our Prophet (pbuh) such as this man:

"He lives in his house the life of the poor. I used to visit him at his house in Jeddah whenever I used to go for Hajj or Umrah and I never found a single table or chair in his house: all of his houses. He was married to four wives and in all four of his houses, 1 never did see a single table or chair. Any Jordanian or Egyptian labourer's house was better than the house of ******. At the same time, if you asked him for a million riyal for the Mujahideen, he would write you out a cheque for a million riyals on the spot."

The Man on the description is a very wealthy man who chose to spend his wealth by building masjids, feeding the hungry, and funding the Mujahideens. Yet he lives the life style of a Bedouin, no furniture, no car, he feeds his family just enough amounts to fill their stomach.

Brothers don’t marry a woman who asks for too many things, drop her like a bad habit and look for a righteous woman who is welling to sacrifice the luxuries of the dunia for the next. And if you don’t think you can make enough at the place you live then make hijrah…don’t make your women work. Allah (swt) gave us intellect, lets put it into use and stop those excuses.


P.S marry a woman who will accept her role.

******= I took the name out

 

[Saifu deen]

excuses after excuses brother...

The Prophet (pbuh) lived a VERY simple life style are we better than him? Look at Asiah (r.a) she traded the luxuries of this life the for the next life. We should be happy with the necessities and nothing more.

:salam2:

I am not making any excuses at all. I am just trying to see how different people think about it thats all. I don't think I've given my own opinion yet. I agree with you that we should be happy with the necessities. I rather live in a farm next to my cow and chickens, than live in a city 'London' would any women accept to live with me that simple life?... I dont believe that educated women would accept to live there, although I can provide everything I can, and there isnt a reason for her to refuse. As long Allah (swt) give me long life inshallah, I'll work on my farm whether I earned Phd or not, can she milk that cow for our breakfast????(Thats the question will be asked to furture wife)...

I dont want my furture wife to work, and I would appreciate if she accepts whatever I am capable to maintain as long I am complying with the sharia law, but that doesnt mean that I dont aim to improve myself financially (whether in city/farm). This subject will be decided before we even get married inshallah. Its hard to find sisters that accept whatever Allah (swt) has written for her husband...

I am trying to see the different views, and wanted to keep my personal opinion to the last, as a respect for the brothers and sisters.

 

[sayyed22]

Salaam

A women in Islam, if she wishes to work she can work - There is no text in the Qur’an or the authentic Hadith which prevents or makes it prohibited for a woman to do any work, as long as it is not unlawful, as long as it is within the preview of the Islamic Shariah, as long as she maintains her Islamic dress code.

But natural, she cannot take up jobs, which exhibit her beauty and body - Like for example, modelling and film acting, and such kind of jobs. Many of the professions and jobs, which are prohibited for the woman, are also prohibited for the man, for example serving liquor. For example working in gambling dens - For example doing any unethical or dishonest business - All these jobs are prohibited for both men and women.

But, a woman in Islam has got no financial obligations - The financial obligation is laid on the shoulders of the man in the family - Therefore she need not work for her livelihood. But in genuine cases, where there are financial crises in which both the ends do not meet, she has the option of working. Here too, no one can force her to work - She works out of her own, absolute free will.

She can work in the house and take up tailoring, she can take up embroidery, she can do pottery, she can make baskets etc. She is also allowed to work in factories and small-scale industries, in which, it has been designed exclusively for the ladies. She can work in places, which have got separate sections- gents and ladies, because Islam does not agree with intermingling of the sex.

She can also do business, and where it comes to doing transactions, where it involves interaction with a foreign male, with a Na-Mehram, she should do it through a father or a brother or husband or a son.
And the best example is of Bibi Khatija (may Allah be pleased with her) who was the wife of our beloved Prophet (may peace be upon him). She was one of the most successful businesswomen of her times and she did the transaction through her husband, Prophet Muhammed may (May peace be upon him).

A woman in Islam has been given more financial security, as compared to the man. The financial obligation is not put on her shoulder - It is put on the shoulder of the man in the family It is the duty of the father or the brother, before she is married and the duty of the husband or the son, after she is married to look after her lodging, boarding, clothing and financial aspects of her.

If a Woman works, which she does not have to - whatever earning she gets, it is absolutely her property. She need not spend a single penny on the household - if she wants to spend it is her free will. Irrespective how rich the wife is, it is the duty of the husband to give lodging, boarding, clothing and look after the financial aspects of the wife.

(Taken from a lecture given by Dr Zakir Naik on Womens' Rights In Islam - Modernising or Outdated. www.irf.net)

 

[dawahforever]

Asalaamu Alaikum

The majority or the Prophet's wives didn' t work , they stayed home and still when he came home he helped out around the house. That's the sunnah. That's how we live too, alhumdullilah.

Wa Salaamu Alaikum
D4E

 

[TheKnowledgeSeeker]

Salaams

The household is the woman's domain - it is her kingdom ( or queendom!) Islamically, the man takes care of finances and defence of the family and in providing the shelter etc and the woman takes care of the domestic duties, food, laundary and looking after the children.


Wasalaams

But what if the sister is more educated then the brother? In today world, who ever is more educated earns more money for the family which means it becomes sister job to take care of finances, defence of the family and she also provide the shelter for your husband and children. It shouldn't matter if the sister works or not, the husband HAS to help her with the house as well cooking food for the family. Everyone should learn how to cook and clean for their families! It is not only the sister family but his too so i disagree with the fact brothers not helping sister with the family and house. When it comes to family and their house it is everyones job not only the women even though in islam it says a women's kingdom is her home that doesn't mean the brother should leave the sister to look afer the children looking at juding my mothers life and all the mothers saw looking after children is 24 hour job plus the house. A islamic book i onces read siad something about the prophet pbuh that he alway helped this family and leave when it was time to pray.I am just try of hearing it is the sister job it is not.

 

[IslamIsLight]

But what if the sister is more educated then the brother? In today world, who ever is more educated earns more money for the family which means it becomes sister job to take care of finances, defence of the family and she also provide the shelter for your husband and children. It shouldn't matter if the sister works or not, the husband HAS to help her with the house as well cooking food for the family. Everyone should learn how to cook and clean for their families! It is not only the sister family but his too so i disagree with the fact brothers not helping sister with the family and house. When it comes to family and their house it is everyones job not only the women even though in islam it says a women's kingdom is her home that doesn't mean the brother should leave the sister to look afer the children looking at juding my mothers life and all the mothers saw looking after children is 24 hour job plus the house. A islamic book i onces read siad something about the prophet pbuh that he alway helped this family and leave when it was time to pray.I am just try of hearing it is the sister job it is not.

salam aleikum

But what if the sister is more educated then the brother

Then it would be just perfect to educate her children....and let the husband work Children and family more important then any income or luxury ...
Hapinness is not from what u have or where u and how live .Hapinness is from your family and people around u..

But everybody different I agree ....so its up to everyone what to choose

waaleikum salam

 

[shaheeda35]

:salam2:
The home is the main responsibility of the woman, but in some circumstances, it is necessary for her to work to keep food on the table. If the husband is providing for her according to her needs(has a good job etc...) then there is no excuse for her to work, but if the income is not enough to suffice the household and she gets permission from her husband to contribute to help him, then inshallah it is okay. I dont work, because I have a special needs son, and have to stay home, but I love staying home anyway, because the mother is the first teacher of the child, and a lot of children have parents who just dont care and falls into the traps of shaytan.
I read somewhere(maybe someone can look it up for me) that the household chores that we do, are not mandatory for us, we are not mans slaves, but we do it for the pleasure of Allah, and pleasing your husband is pleasing Allah. I love being home when my kids get home to help them with their homework, to have a homecooked meal ready for them, to teach them islam after coming from the non muslim school, and to tuck them into bed everynight, its a beautiful feeling, mashallah. I would work if I HAD to, but I would rather not. Allah knows best.

 

[sayyed22]

Wife to work (Women to work)

A women in Islam, if she wishes to work she can work - There is no text in the Qur’an or the authentic Hadith which prevents or makes it prohibited for a woman to do any work, as long as it is not unlawful, as long as it is within the preview of the Islamic Shariah, as long as she maintains her Islamic dress code.
But natural, she cannot take up jobs, which exhibit her beauty and body - Like for example, modelling and film acting, and such kind of jobs. Many of the professions and jobs, which are prohibited for the woman, are also prohibited for the man, for example serving liquor. For example working in gambling dens - For example doing any unethical or dishonest business - All these jobs are prohibited for both men and women.
But, a woman in Islam has got no financial obligations - The financial obligation is laid on the shoulders of the man in the family - Therefore she need not work for her livelihood. But in genuine cases, where there are financial crises in which both the ends do not meet, she has the option of working. Here too, no one can force her to work - She works out of her own, absolute free will.

She can work in the house and take up tailoring, she can take up embroidery, she can do pottery, she can make baskets etc. She is also allowed to work in factories and small-scale industries, in which, it has been designed exclusively for the ladies. She can work in places, which have got separate sections- gents and ladies, because Islam does not agree with intermingling of the sex.
She can also do business, and where it comes to doing transactions, where it involves interaction with a foreign male, with a Na-Mehram, she should do it through a father or a brother or husband or a son.
And the best example is of Bibi Khatija (may Allah be pleased with her) who was the wife of our beloved Prophet (may peace be upon him). She was one of the most successful businesswomen of her times and she did the transaction through her husband, Prophet Muhammed may (May peace be upon him).
A woman in Islam has been given more financial security, as compared to the man. The financial obligation is not put on her shoulder - It is put on the shoulder of the man in the family It is the duty of the father or the brother, before she is married and the duty of the husband or the son, after she is married to look after her lodging, boarding, clothing and financial aspects of her.
If a Woman works, which she does not have to - whatever earning she gets, it is absolutely her property. She need not spend a single penny on the household - if she wants to spend it is her free will. Irrespective how rich the wife is, it is the duty of the husband to give lodging, boarding, clothing and look after the financial aspects of the wife.

(Taken from a lecture given by Dr Zakir Naik on Women's Rights In Islam - Modernising or Outdated. www.irf.net)

 

[Rosheen]

:salam2: sis! How r u?

Wallahi those words are the same I used to say about 4 years ago to my husband ....and if you ask me now how I see my future insh'Allah... well, a muslim wife staying at home taking care of husband and children...ameen insh'Allah!

Salaams! I am well, hope you are too!

I would love to be a mother, and stay at home looking after my children. In this day and age thats a rare and precious thing! sadly I am having no joy with conceiving a child.....this is relevant as why stay at home when there is no baby, and no hope of one coming?

If I had a child I would pray to Allah that he makes things in life easier so I could stay at home. However, I currently earn more than my husband who has to also send money back home. I HAVE to work. Even if I have a child, that nasty council tax bill will not pay itself!

 

[TheKnowledgeSeeker]

salam aleikum


Then it would be just perfect to educate her children....and let the husband work Children and family more important then any income or luxury ...
Hapinness is not from what u have or where u and how live .Hapinness is from your family and people around u..

But everybody different I agree ....so its up to everyone what to choose

waaleikum salam

Ok, i understand that there is nothing that brings happiness than begin surrended by you love ones and moneys and luxuries don't bring happines but if the sister has a job that she work so hard to get like she want to 15 years of school to become who she is today and it turn out that she had this job as her dream since she start speaking does she have to give up that? For the sister it is not about the money but doing something great as helping the enviornment. What i am trying to say is that a sister doesn't have to stay home to be a good mother taht be a good mother is being their for your children when you need you. You all make sound like in order to be a good mother a woman has to stay home and its the sister job to look after the children but it is not.

 

[kayleigh]

:salam2:

If the wife wants to work, then fine, as long as she takes care of the kids and they don't turn out to be serial killers lol. I know some think women should never work, and some think women can if they want, and others say OK as long as it's inside the home. I fully support working women, and I'm sure that doesn't surprise any of you

There are cases where, due to several possible factors, it's not possible to even meet the necessities with one partner working. and yes, you might be able to pay for your electrical bill at one time, but how about putting aside money to help pay for your children's education? I'm not saying you should be buying Dior and Chanel, and driving a new BMW every year, but what's wrong with providing for your family so they lead a comfortable life, and trying to protect them from the dangers and stresses of poverty? Poverty can effect your kids a lot more than you might think. It's your job to ensure that the needs of your children are all met, and if that means stepping outside of your role, you better do it.

Whatever your opinion, you shouldn't be looking down on women who work. Unless you have access to their financial records, you need to keep your mouth shut. and there are tons of single working moms. They shouldn't be looked down on - they should be applauded and respected.

(obviously you = collective, not personal)

Personally, before and after marriage, I WILL be working. I will have a career, and insha'allah a successful one. It's not my "fault" I was born a female, so I refuse to be punished for it. I have dreams that I want to achieve, and to me, JUST cooking and cleaning and having kids is a punishment. There's no point in my (or any woman, for that matter) going to school and getting top grades if I was planning on doing housework all day...

 

[AishaHadi]

:salam2:

I have came across husbands who are stay-at-home dads because their wives earn more than they do..So instead of sending their kids to daycare etc they decided to stay at home and look after the family.

 

[kayleigh]

:salam2:

I have came across husbands who are stay-at-home dads because their wives earn more than they do..So instead of sending their kids to daycare etc they decided to stay at home and look after the family.

Yes, I've heard of that too. I know a girl who was raised by her father (stay at home dad) while her mom worked and she turned out perfectly fine. When I was a kid, my best friend who lived next door to me was raised by her father while her mom worked and it was a fantastic arrangement, and left him lots of time to pursue his personal religious studies.

Generally, women are more nurturing just by their nature, but if a husband/father is dedicated and his role as the stay at home parent has been discussed and agreed upon completely by both parties, then a father does just as good of a job as a mother would in rearing the children. The problem of the man feeling resentment, or feeling inadequate could arise, but I think it can be dealt with with proper communication BEFORE a couple even has kids.

 

[UmmOf3]

:salam2:

I have came across husbands who are stay-at-home dads because their wives earn more than they do..So instead of sending their kids to daycare etc they decided to stay at home and look after the family.

Salaam aleikum
My husband did that, from our daughter was 6 months until she was 1,5 because we did not get a place in daycare for her until then.

 

[Saifu deen]

:salam2:

There is no restriction in Islamic law that says a woman cannot work or have a profession, that her only place is in the home. In fact, by definition, in a truly Islamic society, there must be women physicians, women nurses, women teachers, because it's preferable also to separate teenagers in the volatile years in high school education. And if she chooses to work, or if she's married with the consent of her husband, she's entitled to equal pay, not for equal work, but for work of equal worth.

However Allah (swt) said:

[SIZE=-1]O Consorts of the Prophet! Ye are not like any of the (other) women. If ye do fear (Allah) be not too complaisant of speech, lest one in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire, but speak ye a speech (that is) just.[/SIZE][SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]And stay quietly in your houses, and make not a dazzling display, like those of the former times of ignorance, and establish regular prayer, and give zakat (welfare due) and obey Allah and His Messenger. And Allah only wishes to remove all abomination from you, ye members of the family, and to make you pure and spotless.[/SIZE][SIZE=-1][/SIZE] [SIZE=-1]And recite what is rehearsed to you in your houses of the Signs of Allah and His Wisdom, for Allah is All-Subtle, All-Aware.[/SIZE]
​

[SIZE=-1]Qur'an 33:32-34[/SIZE][SIZE=-1][/SIZE]

[SIZE=-1]Never will I suffer to be lost the work of any one of you, male or female...[/SIZE]​

[SIZE=-1]Qur'an 3:195[/SIZE] (When women stay at home, they are aslo well rewarded subhanallah).

Nevertheless, Islamic law makes no demand that women should confine themselves to household duties. In fact the early Muslim women were found in all walks of life. The first wife of the Prophet, mother of all his surviving children, was a businesswoman who hired him as an employee, and proposed marriage to him through a third party; women traded in the marketplace, and the Khalifah Umar, not normally noted for his liberal attitude to women, appointed a woman, Shaff'a Bint Abdullah, to supervise the market. Other women, like Laila al-Ghifariah, took part in battles, carrying water and nursing the wounded, some, like Suffiah bint Abdul Muttalib even fought and killed the enemies to protect themselves and the Prophet* and like Umm Dhahhak bint Masoud were rewarded with booty in the same way as the men. Ibn Jarir and al-Tabari siad that women can be appointed to a judicial position to adjudicate in all matters, although Abu Hanifah excluded them from such weighty decisions as those involving the heavy hadd and qisas punishments, and other jurists said that women could not be judges at all. The Qur'an even speaks favourably of the Queen of Sheba and the way she consulted her advisors, who deferred to her good judgement on how to deal with the threat of invasion by the armies of Solomon.

Nevertheless the womanly state in marriage is given full respect in Islam, and so are the rights of children. No Muslim woman could feel ashamed to say she was only a housewife. She is the head of her household, although the husband has the final say in major decisions. According to a hadith:

[SIZE=-1]The ruler is a shepherd and is responsible for his subjects, a husband is a shepherd and is responsible for his family, a wife is a shepherd and is responsible for her household, and a servant is a shepherd who is responsible for his master's property.[/SIZE]​

[SIZE=-1]Hadith: Bukhari[/SIZE][SIZE=-1][/SIZE]

The Prophet's wife Aishah was one of the foremost transmitters of hadiths and, like other wives and Companions of the Prophet was often surrounded by students wanting to learn from her: one of her pupils, Urwah Ibn az-Zubayr said:

[SIZE=-1]I did not see a greater scholar than Aishah in the learning of the Qur'an, obligatory duties, lawful and unlawful matters, poetry and literature, Arab history and genealogy.[/SIZE]

The Prophet* was keen to see that women were educated in Islam as well as the men and ordered the men to pass on what they had learned to their women:

[SIZE=-1]Return home to your wives and children and stay with them. Teach them (what you have learned) and ask them to act upon it.[/SIZE]​

[SIZE=-1]Hadith: Bukhari[/SIZE]

So, to conclude, these are the ideals to which Muslim women can aspire and frequently have done in the past. In a truly Islamic society, they are guaranteed[SIZE=-1][/SIZE]


[SIZE=-1]- personal respect,[/SIZE][SIZE=-1][/SIZE] (so no one should look down on them)
[SIZE=-1]- respectable married status,[/SIZE][SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]- legitimacy and maintenance for their children,[/SIZE][SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]- the right to negotiate marriage terms of their choice,[/SIZE][SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]- independent property of their own,[/SIZE][SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]- the right and duty to obtain education,[/SIZE][SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]- the right to work if they need or want it,[/SIZE][SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]- equality of reward for equal deeds,[/SIZE][SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]- the right to participate fully in public life and have their voices heard by those in power,[/SIZE][SIZE=-1][/SIZE][SIZE=-1]and much more besides.[/SIZE][SIZE=-1][/SIZE]

People have different choices. Certain couples agree that the wife should work since she want to & need to. On the other hand, other couples prefer the mother to stay at home, take an active part within the community, and use her knowledge and wisdom on the way the raises her children. Therefore, men are different, and women are different in behaviour, needs, humbleness, understanding islamic law, ect... Therefore, our opinions are different, but they are all according to islamic law, as long no body ignore the rights of both husbands & wife, everyone is fine Alhamdullah...


​

 

[Umm Amir]

Salam aleikum.

of cource a woman should be able to have a job outside her home as long as the job is halal and she still have time for her family

I wish o could stay at home with my children, but i can't that's one of the downsides by living in Europe... I has to have to income to bee able to live a normal life

 

[Saifu deen]

Unless you have access to their financial records, you need to keep your mouth shut.

Anyway... I was raised by my mother. Lots of respect for mothers (its so difficult out there)... I dont think anyone would look down on any women, particulalry women who are striving to please Allah (swt) according to islamic law.. (Whether working, or taking care of the husband & children).

 

[Saifu deen]

Salam aleikum.

of cource a woman should be able to have a job outside her home as long as the job is halal and she still have time for her family

I wish o could stay at home with my children, but i can't that's one of the downsides by living in Europe... I has to have to income to bee able to live a normal life

:salam2:

I agree with you... Its really difficult subhanallah... May Allah (swt) reward you sister....

 

[Umm Amir]

Salam aleikum.

of cource a woman should be able to have a job outside her home as long as the job is halal and she still have time for her family

I wish o could stay at home with my children, but i can't that's one of the downsides by living in Europe... I has to have to income to bee able to live a normal life

That were surpose to be an "you" not an "I"

 

[Saifu deen]

:salam2:

Its an obligation upon me and every brother to provide and protect. (No doubts!!!). Alhamdullah I have a very good income, and can make a family with a normal life Alhamdullah.. But other important issues comes first.

But there are poor people, uneducated/educated, who get married and live very happy in what Allah (swt) has given them, without any complaint but really work hard to make it through... I personally know a brother & a sister, who started their marriage without good income at all, so simple, no fancy wedding, the wife relied upon the husband to provide for her, while she stayed at home took care of him and the children, also provided the environment (below the normal standard) for him to successed in his studies, then employment. They are pious husband & wife alhamdullah, such a great team who inspired me so much. Mashallah today he is banker , own a house in Dubia, on a mortgage in London & own a villa back home. Perform Hajj & Umrah every year.. And their relationship is nice mashallah ya rub...

They trusted in Allah (swt) so Allah (swt) blessed them for their patience. Wa Allahu A'alam..(swt)