Is it possible to keep four wives?

[Asja]

i dont love Him. i fear Him. i fear His punishment. i fear the fire of Hell. i fear His torment. but i dont love Him . its not something a person can be forced to do. my obedience to Him is out of fear, not love. i dont know if that is the same thing.

:salam2:

Wa la hawle wa la kuwete ilabillah

It is not truth that fear and gratitude to Allah subhan we teala is the same like Love for Him,and it is not truth that Allah is only mentiong fear of Him in Holy Quran Alhadmulillah.

In the Holy Quran Allah sais:"Noone of you will be the truth beliver untill he start Loving Allah and His Messsanger more than him slefe",so it is clearly that Allah subhan we tela sais that we should Love Him if we are truth and right belivers and not only fear from Him.
Only those who feel Love for Allah can understand this ayah,SubahnAllah.

May Allah increase Love of all Muslims towerd Him,and forgive to those who do not feel Love for Him.

 

[Aapa]

Salaam,

Sister how can you say Allah subhana talla loves a man who is single more than one that is married. Please go back and reread my post.

Islam is not a faith based on asceticism. It is a very practical faith. Please be so kind as to explain to me what this concept of shame is. It makes no sense.
Monks and nuns are the crazy celibate ones.

We can not know who Allah loves. And if a man wishes to marry more than one wife it is his choice.

You are confusing the physical and the spiritual. You can not limit Love. We can not judge who Allah loves.

 

[sazk]

There was one man who was very pious,and he made him selfe a house where he lived alone,only worshiping to Allah subhan we tela,.He did not had not even one wife,and he did not had childrens,he was spening all days only worshiping to Allah subahn we tela.So he was not seprearted from Allah on any way,and SubhanAllah that is better for Allah than those who are married with more than one wife SubhanAllah,and Allah loves Him more,because this man is not seperated from Allah on any way.

Holy Maryam spent all her life worshiping to Allah and she also did not marry and she was not seperated with anything of her Lord,and that is the reason why Allah gave her high place like The best women in Islam SubahnAllah,and like the most pure One.

oh my God! sister is this really what you believe? don't you Maryam (AS) was given a high place because she was chosen for the birth of Isa. This was decreed by Allah even before she was born. she spent her life in worship because the wife of Imran vowed to dedicate her child in His Cause. she was expecting a boy but born was a girl - Maryam. but Allah said that the female is not like a male. He knew what she brought forth. Maryam was given high status because she was chosen by Allah for the birth of Isa.

plus if a man does not marry and spends his life in Ibadah, he will go to hell. how? because this is a very unislamic thing to do. i keep saying this again n again, look at the christian priests, they don't marry they think it is holy, they are holy by not marrying. but this is not holy! this is a perversion. Allah has commanded to marry! this is Allah's command.

to not give time to world and only to deen is extreme

to not give time to deen and only to world is extreme

we must choose a middle path

and as far as going away from Allah is concerned - men can also go away from Allah even with one wife, then what kind of guarantee does monogamy give?

1 wife or 4 wives, men who go away from Allah, will go away even with one wife, and men who dont go away from Allah will never leave no matter how many wives.

 

[sazk]

thank you sooo much sisters, your articles clear up so many of my questions in my head about love and love for the sake of Allah.

Jazak Allah

 

[stiks]

salaam

just to clarify this issue of staying single being beloved to Allaah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala,

It is related that Salaman Al farsi once visited Abu ad-Dardaa with whom the Prophet had joined him in brotherhood. He found Abu adDardaa’s wife in a miserable state and he asked, “What is the matter with you.”

“Your brother has no need of anything in this world*” she replied.

When Abu ad-Dardaa came, he welcomed Salman and gave him food. Salman told him to eat but Abu adDardaa said, “I am fasting.” “I swear to you that I shall not eat until you eat also.”

Salman spent the night there as well. During the night, Abu ad-Dardaa got up but Salman got hold of him and said:

“O Abu ad-Dardaa, your Lord has a right over you. Your family have a right over you and your body has a right over you. Give to each its due.”

In the morning, they prayed together and then went out to meet the Prophet, peace be upon him. The Prophet supported Salman in what he had said.

 

[Asja]

Salaam,

Sister how can you say Allah subhana talla loves a man who is single more than one that is married. Please go back and reread my post.

Islam is not a faith based on asceticism. It is a very practical faith. Please be so kind as to explain to me what this concept of shame is. It makes no sense.
Monks and nuns are the crazy celibate ones.

We can not know who Allah loves. And if a man wishes to marry more than one wife it is his choice.

You are confusing the physical and the spiritual. You can not limit Love. We can not judge who Allah loves.

I think you misunerstand me sister.

I gave you sister examle of Holy Maryam that Allah loves her more than other womens in Islam,because she is the most pure One,and because she spend all her life worshiping to Alah subhan we tela and she was not seperated with anything from Allah.If Allah does not Love her more than why Allah will chose her like the best women in Islam,SubhanAllah.

It is truth that Allah loves those who are less seperated from Him ,so if man is seperated from His Lord with dunya gifts,wifes,childrens,it is not good and it is not right,so it logical that Allah loves more those who are less sperated of this world from Him,SubahnAllah He is.

But this does not mean that Allah does not love other Muslims too Alhadmulillah,but it is also truth that it will be always those who Allah loves more.

Exactly sister everyone has his choice and his own will,Alhadmulilah.
There will be always those who are more shame of Allah,and who are more dedicated to Him.

Once my beloved grandmother and she is very pious told me one story and I still remember her words after her story.
She told me that there was one women who after her husband died got married again,and with anger in her voice my grandmother said"How she is not shame of Allah and people and her children to get marry again",she countinue saying "I could never do that,Alahdmulillah".This means SHAME!!!
May Allah bless and reword my granmother.

After I have answer on your questions Alhadmulillah,can I ask you one question sister Mirjamon,Inshallah.

Do you feel shame when you think on hazrat Maryam,Fatima,Khadiya,and Asiya???If your answer is positive,it will mean taht you know waht means shame Mashallah.

May Allah guide us all.

 

[Asja]

oh my God! sister is this really what you believe? don't you Maryam (AS) was given a high place because she was chosen for the birth of Isa. This was decreed by Allah even before she was born. she spent her life in worship because the wife of Imran vowed to dedicate her child in His Cause. she was expecting a boy but born was a girl - Maryam. but Allah said that the female is not like a male. He knew what she brought forth. Maryam was given high status because she was chosen by Allah for the birth of Isa.

plus if a man does not marry and spends his life in Ibadah, he will go to hell. how? because this is a very unislamic thing to do. i keep saying this again n again, look at the christian priests, they don't marry they think it is holy, they are holy by not marrying. but this is not holy! this is a perversion. Allah has commanded to marry! this is Allah's command.

to not give time to world and only to deen is extreme

to not give time to deen and only to world is extreme

we must choose a middle path

and as far as going away from Allah is concerned - men can also go away from Allah even with one wife, then what kind of guarantee does monogamy give?

1 wife or 4 wives, men who go away from Allah, will go away even with one wife, and men who dont go away from Allah will never leave no matter how many wives.

Alhamdulillah dear brother that marriege is from Islam,and it is blessing from Allah.Marriege is from Allah,and marriege is onyl the name of Allah,The truth said Almighty Allah.

And brother,you should have respection towerd every religion,because Islam also mean tolerancy Mashallah.

And Alhadmulillah brother that you can marry more than one wife,and that Inshallah Allah be pleased with you,but you also must know that it will always be those who Allah loves more,and who are more pious,modest and more shame of others,and who will be closer to Allah in hereafter.

 

[Aapa]

Salaam,

Sister I do not feel shame when I think of the blessed women of heaven. I think of the first wife of the Prophet, she was married more than once. She has a place in heaven. Your argument becomes mote. Allah subhana talla loved Khadijia so much that she was the first wife of our Prophet.
There is no shame in marrying again and again. The Prophet, may the blessings and peace of Allah be upon him, married widows and women of little means also.

Your grandmother was wrong. Why would you be angry over someone's choice to provide for their children. Maybe the woman wanted a pious man to help her raise her children as Muslims. I am not attacking your grandmother. I am stating her view of women is contorted.

And what is this thing with shame??? I am making dua and praying that Allah subhana talla grants me a husband. This would be my third marriage. I have no shame for the last two marriages. I hold no anger in my heart. Both of my ex-husbands have remarried. I am raising two wonderful sons by myself with no help. I want to remarry. I want the comfort of a husband. I want a man to show my sons that which I can not.

Your thoughts make little sense. In a way they come across as very judgmental. We do not know the contents of the hearts of others.
We are told to continue with life. To condemn a woman for remarrying is judgmental. Why would you want to subject a sister to a life of misery and sorrow when a pious husband would alter her circumstances and make her a firmer believer.

Piety is not a physical condition. Piety is spiritual state; Islam offers us a lifestyle wherein we can satisfy both the physical needs of life and continuation of the spiritual journey.

Marriage does not take a man away from Allah subhana talla. If anything it gives a man more reasons to thank Allah subhana talla.

 

[Asja]

Salaam,

Sister I do not feel shame when I think of the blessed women of heaven. I think of the first wife of the Prophet, she was married more than once. She has a place in heaven. Your argument becomes mote. Allah subhana talla loved Khadijia so much that she was the first wife of our Prophet.
There is no shame in marrying again and again. The Prophet, may the blessings and peace of Allah be upon him, married widows and women of little means also.

Your grandmother was wrong. Why would you be angry over someone's choice to provide for their children. Maybe the woman wanted a pious man to help her raise her children as Muslims. I am not attacking your grandmother. I am stating her view of women is contorted.

And what is this thing with shame??? I am making dua and praying that Allah subhana talla grants me a husband. This would be my third marriage. I have no shame for the last two marriages. I hold no anger in my heart. Both of my ex-husbands have remarried. I am raising two wonderful sons by myself with no help. I want to remarry. I want the comfort of a husband. I want a man to show my sons that which I can not.

Your thoughts make little sense. In a way they come across as very judgmental. We do not know the contents of the hearts of others.
We are told to continue with life. To condemn a woman for remarrying is judgmental. Why would you want to subject a sister to a life of misery and sorrow when a pious husband would alter her circumstances and make her a firmer believer.

Piety is not a physical condition. Piety is spiritual state; Islam offers us a lifestyle wherein we can satisfy both the physical needs of life and continuation of the spiritual journey.

Marriage does not take a man away from Allah subhana talla. If anything it gives a man more reasons to thank Allah subhana talla.

Thank you sister for your answer,but I do feel great shame Alahdmulillah,and I pray every day to Allah to Allah to reach thier pureness and thier strong faith,like I pray for other Muslims the same.
Inshallah may Allah make us all better belivers.

Please sister,do not say that my grandmother is wrong,it is jsut how she feels,and Alhadmulillah we all have diffrent feelings,like you for example.

Alhadmulillah marriege is blessing from Allah,and Alhamdulillah it is not wrong to remarry if you think that your husband will help you with your childrens and with keeping your faith Mashallah.

May Allah bless you sister

 

[TheHumbleWun]

And Alhadmulillah brother that you can marry more than one wife,and that Inshallah Allah be pleased with you,but you also must know that it will always be those who Allah loves more,and who are more pious,modest and more shame of others,and who will be closer to Allah in hereafter.

Asalaam'alikum sister Asja,

I get the sense from the writing above that you are against the marriage of four wives? Correct?

You stated in your post #39 that "Allah loves someone more" if he marries one wife rather than four. Could you provide me your daleel (evidence/proof)?

The Quran states: "Marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one." (4:3)

You can see that Allah swt does give the Muslims this permission. However, under certain terms & conditions a man can marry more than one wife.

Islam came to serve and increase people’s best interests, and to reduce harmful things and render them ineffective. There is no doubt that polygamy, when practised properly in accordance with Islam, achieves many things that are in people’s best interests (such as maintaining the chastity of the man who is not satisfied with one wife, taking care of and maintaining the chastity of the woman who has no husband, increasing the offspring of the Muslims, solving the problem of widows and spinsters, and of the reduced numbers of men after times of war, and so on).

As regards the bad things that happen in cases of polygamy, either they are very small when compared to its benefits, or they stem from bad application of this practice. One of the rights which Islam gives to women is that a wife should have her own house, so the two wives do not have to live together under one roof.

The Quran is the only religious book, on the face of this earth, that contains the phrase 'marry only one'. There is no other religious book that instructs men to have only one wife. In none of the other religious scriptures, whether it be the Vedas, the Ramayan, the Mahabharat, the Geeta, the Talmud or the Bible does one find a restriction on the number of wives. According to these scriptures, one can marry as many as one wish! It was only later, that the Hindu priests and the Christian Church restricted the number of wives to one.

For the record, the majority of Muslim men have only one wife. It would make a better arguement if you complained about Westerners having 4, 6, 10 boyfriends/girlfriends.

 

[mezeren]

my elder sister,

your words are very confusing. what is this 'love' that you speak of? what exactly is love? usually when my professors and i talk: they speak about love for Allah, i tell them i dont know what love is, but i know what fear is, and i fear Allah. i fear His punishment. but i dont feel any love towards Him. i cant help it. i just fear Him i dont love Him. one professor (he is an aalim) told me that to fear Allah is to love Him. is this true?

:salam2:

According to what you say here,i can't help thinking that you feel no love towards anybody,anything.if it is so then you are consistent when you say you don't love Allah.

But if that is not the case,meaning you love yourself,your parents,your friends,your religion,animals,flowers,stars etc. it requires that you are supposed to love the One who gives you everything you love.Who created you as a human?The One who created you as a human could have created you as an animal or a rock but he did not.That alone is a reason to love Allah.

Mercy is stronger than love and Allah is the most mercifull.Allah has a feeling stronger than love towards his creatures and in return we love Allah.Allah puts the feeling of mercy in the heart of a mother so that she can bear every diffuculty for her baby.Aren't you greatful to Allah for the mercy your mother have and why would you not love Allah for it.

When Allah gave you 4 wives and lots of children,wouldn't you say "o Allah,i love you and thank you for everything you granted me."?

Everything good in this life is from Allah,and everything bad is from ourselves.

it is best if we worship Allah just to make him pleased but most of us,including me, worship Him either out of fear of his punishment or the pleasure of paradise.i hope it changes before we die and we worship him for the best reason.

 

[sazk]

its the subcontinental mentality. it has its roots in hinduism. that a woman cannot re-marry after her first marriage. if the husband died when the couple was young, she could not remarry and lived her life as a widow. it was a form of oppression for the women. a woman also had to provide dowry for her husband upon marriage. also because due to some weird reason she was held responsible for the husbands death. the woman was stigmatised. i cant explain it because sanskirt has some weird words that go right over my head.(thats why i have trouble telling where to find Muhammed (PBUH) in the hindu scriptures).

anyways when muslims and hindus were living together, obviously they copied customs from one another. so the pure islam that was, also picked up some social cultures from the hindus. the theological beliefs remained distinct but social life elements inter-mixed like dresses and wedding ceremonies, custom of dowry etc. unfortunately one of these was the idea that re-marrying after the death of the husband was taboo (traditional hindu religion has no concept of divorce, if you get the wrong guy or gal, sucks to be you).

because pakistan is just 3 generations old, we also have this 'taboo' idea which our grandparents taught our parents and our parents taught their children.


there is no remarriage prohibition in islam. its a shame we carry that idea of a married womans stigma around still. my mother had a friend who got married. they were a young couple. unfortunately her husband got killed in a car accident. it was such a big loss for my moms friend because she was young and now she couldnt remarry and had to sell all her household belongings to gather money to start a small business. even in my own family my aunt got divorced and had no chance of marriage again so she had to raise her daughter all by herself.

actually the truth is all the marriage laws in islam favor the women. polygamy itself favors womankind as a whole, maybe not as an individual, but for women as a collective its a blessing. monogamy is destructive for the women, not the men!

these women who want their husband selfishly for themselves, what they don't realise is that they only risk their own future. other women become mistresses for the men. they try to lure the men away from their homes. result: more broken families than ever before, more scandals, more domestic violence (because the man has a mistress on the side, he becomes ungrateful to Allah for his own wife).

islam came to free men AND women, change their lives. what they did was change islam.

my sister, how you have the courage and strength to raise two sons on your own and still have so much hope is beyond me! i cant even begin to imagine how can you carry on at a point where so many many many would lose spirit!i have no words! how can you have so much courage? what do you eat? what is your secret? is courage found in cauliflower?

 

[Asja]

Asalaam'alikum sister Asja,

I get the sense from the writing above that you are against the marriage of four wives? Correct?

You stated in your post #39 that "Allah loves someone more" if he marries one wife rather than four. Could you provide me your daleel (evidence/proof)?

The Quran states: "Marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one." (4:3)

Allaicomu Salam brother.

I said brother that it is alowed to Muslim man to marry with more than one wife,and that marriege is blessing from Allah.And Alhadmulillah,how can I be against something that Allah has alowed.Alhamdulillah brother that I am not against it.

But I also said brother that we should keep our selves as much as we can modest,because if we love too much this life,and gifts of this life than we become more seperated from Allah,because verily gifts from this world may seperate Muslims from Allah.And that is why I said that man who marry more than one wife can be sepereted from Allah more than the one who is married only with one wife.

And for the end I will aslo remaind on beloved Hazrat Ali who was living with very modest life SubahnAllah,and he was one of the best Muslims and companions of Prophet Mohammed s.a.w.s.
He was living with very modest life like Hazrat Fatima,he was giving to others and he was not leaving almost anything for himselfe Mashallah.And this is modesty,and we should keep our selves us much as we can modest.
And shame and modesty are one of the most beautiful characteristcs of every Muslim.

And who is more modest,Muslim man who marry one wife or Muslim man who marry more than one wife???

I was not complaining about anything dear brother.Alhadmulilah I was only remanding all of us on shame and modesty.
And do not worry brother for westerns,I belive in Allahs punishment and reword,Inshallah.Ameen Ya Allah-:tti_sister:

And please dear brother,take in considiration that I am only 19,and all who are disscusing with me are older than me,like you too brother.I feel litle beet unconfortable.

May Allah guide us all.

 

[sazk]

:salam2:

According to what you say here,i can't help thinking that you feel no love towards anybody,anything.if it is so then you are consistent when you say you don't love Allah.

sister, you looked into my soul. if i dont love the first and foremost One so how can i love anything else after that. and i hope i dont love anything in life, love has too much a price to pay. i fear Him more than anything else in the world. this fear doesn't allow me to fear anything else. and u r sooo true so true
Allah is Merciful. in fact one of the key things i noticed in the Christian bible and the Islamic Quran was that while the Bible emphasized the love of God ( The Loving Father in Heaven, The Loving Father, God so loved the world....), the Quran lays a heavy emphasis on His mercy aspect.

my professor once gave a speech on Love for Allah. while his speech was not wrong but i asked him that the Quran points to so much emphasis on the Mercy of Allah so why was he following the christian way which preaches Love of God.

 

[Aapa]

Salaam,

I have been blessed with faith. I eat the food that Allah subhana talla provides for me. I have the likes of Brother HumbleWun, as an example, of a man who respects me. I have love poured into my heart by Allah subhana talla.
Love is patient. Everything Allah subhana talla has given me is a blessing. And the best of my blessings are my sons.
My sisters on this forum give me hope with their words..I have had a very fortunate life.
Each moment of life is a salaam. Now you got me mushy!!!
I have been so blessed with being a Muslim. I try to live out the words that I wish for my brothers and sisters that which I wish for myself.
The road has been hard at times but each step has become easier. I can not help but think of Sister Harb and her relentless efforts and personal sacrifices for our brothers and sisters in Palestine. I think of the courage of Sister ShyHijabi..the passion of Sister Farhopes..the gentleness of Sister Shahida and I take courage from them..if you ever want love poured in your heart read Brother Ditta and the daily ayats of Brother Saladahin.

I am the one that is blessed. I am the one that is able to say Alhumdulila I am a Muslim.

I am from the subcontinent. I eat yogurt and love jalabee!!!

May Allah reward Brother Mabsoot for this forum and each of you have a blessed day...
your sister in Islam,

Salaam.

 

[mezeren]

sister, you looked into my soul. if i dont love the first and foremost One so how can i love anything else after that. and i hope i dont love anything in life, love has too much a price to pay. i fear Him more than anything else in the world. this fear doesn't allow me to fear anything else. and u r sooo true so true
Allah is Merciful. in fact one of the key things i noticed in the Christian bible and the Islamic Quran was that while the Bible emphasized the love of God ( The Loving Father in Heaven, The Loving Father, God so loved the world....), the Quran lays a heavy emphasis on His mercy aspect.

my professor once gave a speech on Love for Allah. while his speech was not wrong but i asked him that the Quran points to so much emphasis on the Mercy of Allah so why was he following the christian way which preaches Love of God.

First,it is brother but that's ok.

Secondly,as i said earlier Allah is the most merciful and mercy is stronger than love,but,you do not feel mercy to someone or something which you don't love.

Secondly,we as creatures of Allah can not have mercy on Him,:astag:.What we could have in response is gratefulness and love.Of course,it is not like falling in love with Him or something you feel for opposite sex.it is just love that is appropriate between us and Him.

 

[sazk]

:ma:
my sister you are more courageous than most men i know. if i had half the hope you're exuberating i could rule this earth. the only other person i know who has so much courage is my own mother. like you she also has a lot of patience. i think it comes from reading the Quran again n again. i've been watching her for 24 years now. she reads the Quran every single day and never gives up on her son (me). i think the Quran is the source of her perseverance.

and no my sisters i dont want love in my heart. there is a certain thing which people don't see: if you say the words "I love Allah" or " i love xyz"...Allah begins to test that love. and He tests it hard! i've seen this happen. i think for Him, love means something because i've seen love tested so many times by Him. various conditions, various circumstances but the test is always from Allah. and my greatest fear is that if i take that leap.. if i say I love Allah, i might fail His test. so instead i make this silent dua with Allah : Allah i fear You, please have Mercy on me and my parents.

this is my bond with Allah - my relationship with Him - fear and mercy. i cannot afford love.

:salam2:

p.s. the eating thing was just a joke!!! you get so serious!

 

[TheHumbleWun]

But I also said brother that we should keep our selves as much as we can modest,because if we love too much this life,and gifts of this life than we become more seperated from Allah,because verily gifts from this world may seperate Muslims from Allah.And that is why I said that man who marry more than one wife can be sepereted from Allah more than the one who is married only with one wife.

Salaam,

It's true we shouldn't love this life too much but we shouldn't disregard it in total either, because this world has the blessing of Allah swt too. The magnificence of the celestial bodies of the planets, the functions of gravity, the animal kingdom, natural resources, the food we eat - they are all signs & blessings of God Almighty no doubt about it.

Please provide me the source for the above. How did you reach your consensus? It's wrong to make such broad conclusions.

And who is more modest,Muslim man who marry one wife or Muslim man who marry more than one wife???

They are both modest and they can equally be unjust if they do not abide & fear Allah swt. The Prophet (saw) is an example.

 

[Aapa]

Salaam,

Ok folks...I was not serious about eating.. I have been blessed with a great metabolism and eat things I should not. I have teenage sons and I eat with them.

Now. Do not dwell on the Love thing. Love is. Just count your blessings. At 24 it is easy to get philosophical about Love. At my age you are just glad to be alive. You have to experience life..and Love becomes stronger. You do Love.

As for our little sister Asja. We are patient with you. But you have to understand you have many preconceived notions about situations and relationships that we tend to let go with experience. And understand at my age..there is little that someone as young as you can tell me. I am just as bad with people of all ages. It took a lot of living to get to where I am. I just have faith. Please be patient with us.

I have to go and pray at the masjid. I took the day off to play. That too is a blessing.

 

[Asja]

Salaam,

It's true we shouldn't love this life too much but we shouldn't disregard it in total either, because this world has the blessing of Allah swt too. The magnificence of the celestial bodies of the planets, the functions of gravity, the animal kingdom, natural resources, the food we eat - they are all signs & blessings of God Almighty no doubt about it.

Please provide me the source for the above. How did you reach your consensus? It's wrong to make such broad conclusions.

Yes Alhamdulillah Allah gaved us many blessings (frutis,plants,water and other gifts),and He Almighty sais "Take enough for you",but Allah Almighty did not said take everything,although I alowed you.
I hope you understand me brother,and it is better for us to be modest in everything Alhadmulillah.It is not to reject Allahs blessing upon you,but to not take all of that,because of your modesty,and Love towerd Allah.

They are both modest and they can equally be unjust if they do not abide & fear Allah swt. The Prophet (saw) is an example.

Yes dear brother they both are modest,and Allah knows the best,but one is more modest infront of Allah and it is man with only one wife,and Alhmdulillah everyone who is enough reasonable would understand that.
I gave example on Hazrat Ali,and his modest way of life,so you want to say that he is the same like other Muslims who are less modest than he was.Ofcourse they are not the same Alhamdulillah,and it is the same with Muslim man who marry one wife and the one who marry two wifes.!!!They are not the same in modesty Alahdmulillah,but Alhadulillah they both are Muslims.

It is the same like I ask you brother,who is more modest???.The girl who put a loot make up on her face,loot of jewlery,and the most beautiful cloth,than the one who does not put make up ,who does not put jewlery,and wearing simple cloth.
Who of these two womens is more modest???

Alhadulillah they are not the same in modesty,so by that they are not the same infront of Allah.!!!
The first girl is seperated from Allah on this way,but onother girl is more closer to Allah,and she is more modest than the first one.

And it is good brother that you have mention beloved Prophet Mohammed s.a.w.s..SubhanAllah in every right Islamic book it is pointing how Allahs Messanger s.a.w.s. was modest and very shy,So when he was young he marry one with one wife and it was his wife Khadiya who was much older than him and she was not very beautiful,but still of his modesty he marry with her,and he did not thought to marry other wifes.How could he,of his shame and modesty,and how he like the best creation of Allah can that.Alhadmulillah he did not want to marry with more wife,but he must marry with other wifes because of Allah orders and to increase more Islam in the time,(meaning on tribles which were existing in that time).
So if it was not like that our beloved Prophet Moahmmed s.a.w.s would not marry with more than one wife,he is the most modest one.And he did not marry because of his own wishes and desires.I have exaplin alrady Alhadmulillah.

And like we know Allahs Messanger s.a.w.s is the best example,and not only Prophet Mohammed s.a.w.s. but other Allahs Messangers too SubahnAllah.

And after I have kindly answered on all your questions Alhadmdulillah dear brother,can I ask you one simple question,Inshallah?

What means modesty and shame for you???

May Allah guide us all.