Julaybib (r.a)

salahdin

Junior Member
بِسۡمِ ٱللهِ ٱلرَّحۡمَـٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيمِ​


Julaybib





His name was unusual and incomplete. Julaybib means "small grown" being the diminutive form of the word "Jalbab ". The name is an indication that Julaybib was small and short, even of dwarf-like stature. More than that, he is described as being "damim" which means ugly, deformed, or of repulsive appearance.

Even more disturbing, for the society in which he lived, Julaybib's lineage was not known. There is no record of who his mother or his father was or to what tribe he belonged. This was a grave disability in the society in which he lived. Julaybib could not expect any compassion or help, any protection or support from a society that placed a great deal of importance on family and tribal connections. In this regard, all that was known of him was that he was an Arab and that, as far as the new community of Islam was concerned, he was one of the Ansar. Perhaps he belonged to one of the outlying tribes beyond Madinah and had drifted into the city or he could even have been from among the Ansar of the city itself.

The disabilities under which Julaybib lived would have been enough to have him ridiculed and shunned in any society and in fact he was prohibited by one person, a certain Abu Barzah of the Aslam tribe, from entering his home. He once told his wife:

"Do not let Julaybib enter among you. If he does, I shall certainly do (something terrible to him)." Probably because he was teased and scoffed at in the company of men, Julaybib used to take refuge in the company of women.

Was there any hope of Julaybib being treated with respect and consideration? Was there any hope of his finding emotional satisfaction as an individual and as a man? Was there any hope of his enjoying the relationships which others take for granted? And in the new society emerging under the guidance of the Prophet, was he so insignificant as to be overlooked in the preoccupation with the great affairs of state and in the supreme issues of life and survival which constantly engaged the attention of the Prophet?

Just as he was aware of the great issues of life and destiny, the Prophet of Mercy was also aware of the needs and sensibilities of his most humble companions. With Julaybib in mind, the Prophet went to one of the Ansar and said: "I want to have your daughter married." "How wonderful and blessed, O Messenger of God and what a delight to the eye (this would be)," replied the Ansari man with obvious joy and happiness. "I do not want her for myself," added the Prophet. "Then for whom, O Messenger of God?" asked the man, obviously somewhat let down. "For Julaybib," said the Prophet.

The Ansari must have been too shocked to give his own reaction and he merely said: "I will consult with her mother." And off he went to his wife. "The Messenger of God, may God bless him and grant him peace, wants to have your daughter married," he said to her. She too was thrilled. "What a wonderful idea and what a delight to the eye (this would be)." she said. "He doesn't want to marry her himself but he wants to marry her to Julaybib," he added. She was flabbergasted.

"To Julaybib! No, never to Julaybib! No, by the living God, we shall not marry (her) to him." she protested.

As the Ansari was about to return to the Prophet to inform him of what his wife had said, the daughter who had heard her mother's protestations, asked: "Who has asked you to marry me?"

Her mother told her of the Prophet's request for her hand in marriage to Julaybib. When she heard that the request had come from the Prophet and that her mother was absolutely opposed to the idea, she was greatly perturbed and said:

"Do you refuse the request of the Messenger of God? Send me to him for he shall certainly not bring ruin to me." This was the reply of a truly great person who had a clear understanding of what was required of her as a Muslim. What greater satisfaction and fulfillment can a Muslim find than in responding willingly to the requests and commands of the Messenger of God! No doubt, this companion of the Prophet, whose name we do not even know had heard the verse of the Quran: "Now whenever God and His Apostle have decided a matter, it is not for a believing man or believing woman to claim freedom of choice in so far as they themselves are concerned. And he who disobeys God and His Prophet has already, most obviously, gone astray." (The Quran, Surah al-Ahzab, 33:36).

This verse was revealed in connection with the marriage of Zaynab bint Jahsh and Zayd ibn al-Harithah which was arranged by the Prophet to show the egalitarian spirit of Islam. Zaynab at first was highly offended at the thought of marrying Zayd a former slave and refused to do so. The Prophet prevailed upon them both and they were married. The marriage however ended in divorce and Zaynab was eventually married to the Prophet himself. It is said that the Ansari girl read the verse to her parents and said:

"I am satisfied and submit myself to whatever the Messenger of God deems good for me." The Prophet heard of her reaction and prayed for her: "O Lord, bestow good on her in abundance and make not her life one of toil and trouble."

Among the Ansar, it is said there was not a more eligible bride than she. She was married by the Prophet to Julaybib and they lived together until he was killed.

And how was Julaybib killed? He went on an expedition with the Prophet, peace be on him, and an encounter with some mushrikin ensued. When the battle was over, the Prophet asked his companions: "Have you lost anyone?" They replied giving the names of their relatives of close friends who were killed. He put the same questions to other companions and they also named the ones they had lost in the battle. Another group answered that they had lost no close relative whereupon the Prophet said:

"But I have lost Julaybib. Search for him in the battlefield." They searched and found him beside seven mushrikin whom he had struck before meeting his end. The Prophet stood up and went to the spot where Julaybib, his short and deformed companion, lay. He stood over him and said: "He killed seven and then was killed? This (man) is of me and I am of him."

He repeated this two or three times. The Prophet then took him in his arms and it is said that he had no better bed besides the forearms of the messenger of God. The Prophet then dug for him a grave and himself placed him in it. He did not wash him for martyrs are not washed before burial.

Julaybib and his wife are not usually among the companions of the Prophet whose deeds are sung and whose exploits are recounted with reverence and admiration as they should be. But in the meagre facts that are known about them and which have here been recounted we see how humble human beings were given hope and dignity by the Prophet where once there was only despair and self-debasement.

The attitude of the unknown and unnamed Ansari girl who readily agreed to be the wife of a physically unattractive man was an attitude which reflected a profound understanding of Islam. It reflected on her part the effacement of personal desires and preferences even when she could have counted on the support of her parents. It reflected on her part a total disregard for social pressures. It reflected above all a ready and implicit confidence in the wisdom and authority of the Prophet in submitting herself to whatever he deemed good. This is the attitude of the true believer.

In Julaybib, there is the example of a person who was almost regarded as a social outcast because of his appearance. Given help, confidence and encouragement by the noble Prophet, he was able to perform acts of courage and make the supreme sacrifice and deserve the commendation of the Prophet: "He is of me and I am of him."
 

salahdin

Junior Member
I know i did post it before and i will do post it from time to time ,for indeed there is a lesson to be learned .


أَعُوذُ بِاللهِ السَّمِيعِ الْعَلِيمِ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ الرَّجِيمِ مِنْ هَمْزَهِ وَنَفْخِهِ



سُوۡرَةُ القَلَم

وَإِنَّكَ لَعَلَىٰ خُلُقٍ عَظِيمٍ۬



I seek refuge with Allah, the Hearing, the Knowing, from the cursed Satan, from his coercion, lures to arrogance and poems


Al-Qalam

And lo! thou art of a tremendous nature. (4)
68:4
 

mahaseeb

Junior Member
Asalamualikum;

Brother this was really nice.Indeed every one needs to learn a lesson from these stories of the past and try to follow on that.May allah reward you for this post and may allah let me and every one reading this post learn lesson of sacrifice and patience.
Asalamualikum
Abdul haseeb
 

hijabi_sis

Junior Member
JazakAllah khairan for this great reminder.....

I have read and heard the story of the companion Julaybib so many times but alhumdulilah the more i read it, the more it facinates me...

Oh Allah remove the veil from our hearts, and let us take heed from such stories! ameen ameen ameen!
 

msmoorad

mommys boy
Julaybib (RAD)

salaams to all
i KNOW many people here will not like what im about to say but i dont like it when people beat around the bush and dont want to call a spade a spade.
my intention is NOT to hurt or insult anyone but i just want people to accept certain things as being beyond their control and NOT the fault of anyone else.

Allah ta'ala has created us all alike in that we all have 2 eyes, arms, legs, ears etc but he has granted some nemats to some and not to others, while those that have not been granted these nemats will have been granted some other nemats that the first lot would have been deprived of.

we see it everyday. some are healthy but not wealthy. some wealthy but not healthy. some have beauty but no brains. some have beauty and brains but have bad character and are lazy. some are very fast & strong but not very wealthy. some are pious but have no wealth. etc

we can all say "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" but the fact is that the vast majority of us find fairer skin to be more attractive than dark skin. and im not talking about albinos.
im sick and tired of black guys saying "black is beautiful" and "im proud to be black" etc but you find them running after white or fair skinned girls.
then theres black girls who act as if they just dont understand why they seem to be ignored/overlooked by potential husbands while they have good character and are actually quite pious.

i know it hurts a LOT cos im quite dark skinned & not handsome by any definition. and im NOT wealthy. thats the main reason/s why i am 37 and still single.
i am clear about what i want. when asked, i tell everyone that i want a girl who is fair skinned, very beautiful and not fat/chubby/plump apart from having good habits/character and being a practicing muslimah.
with my look s & financial situation, i know its almost impossible to find what i want.
Hell, even when i went to India, i had no luck getting girls that i liked to agree to marry me.

when we say Rasullullah (SAW) advised us to choose a partner that is pious and to place deen before all other qualities, it does NOT mean that we have to marry someone who we DONT find physically attractive.
in the case of Julaybib (RAD), Rasullullah (SAW) personally chose that girl for him.
if he(SAW) did not, and the girl and her parents refused Julaybibs(RAD)proposal because their daughter did NOT find him attractive, i dont think that it would be against Shariah.

in the story, the point was obedience to the command of Allahs Rasul(SAW) despite it being somewhat against the nafs.

and please dont say,"who are you to judge what is attractive to whom?" etc cos i know that nearly every single one of you, irrespective of your looks/colour would choose a spouse that is fair skinned and good looking IF you had the chance.
just say all of us here(single people) had a choice of two potential spouses. both of them have all he qualities we would like in a spouse but one is fair skinned and one is dark skinned.
which one would you choose?

and Allah ta'ala knows best
jazakallah
 

msmoorad

mommys boy
salaams to all
just bumping the thread as i would like to hear what you lot have to say about my 1st post.

jazakallah
 

auroran

Junior Member
:salam2:

Jazak Allahu khair akhi for posting this wonderful post. May Allah ta'alaa make you successful in this life and the next.

:salam2:
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam walaikum,

To the brother who wants a response:

You know what you want. You have a formula for what you consider to be beauty.

Brother, you are limiting your life. Beauty fades very quickly. You know the beauty industry makes an arms dealer jealous.

What you are describing is a model from a magazine.

You have made a tremendous error in judgment. Not everyone finds fair skin to be it.

The main reason you are single is you have made the prerequisites for you to be very narrow.

The color of skin and the fat content of a person's body have nothing to do with faith. Marriage is not the same as looking at a magazine.

I pray you find someone. It is such a waste to see a brother who is lonely when we so many sisters who are lonely. You could have four wives:
a skinny fair skinned girl. a fat dark skinned girl, a pious girl a girl who will love you for being a good man.and someone in between.
 

msmoorad

mommys boy
Assalaam walaikum,

To the brother who wants a response:

You know what you want. You have a formula for what you consider to be beauty.

Brother, you are limiting your life. Beauty fades very quickly. You know the beauty industry makes an arms dealer jealous.

What you are describing is a model from a magazine.

You have made a tremendous error in judgment. Not everyone finds fair skin to be it.

The main reason you are single is you have made the prerequisites for you to be very narrow.

The color of skin and the fat content of a person's body have nothing to do with faith. Marriage is not the same as looking at a magazine.

I pray you find someone. It is such a waste to see a brother who is lonely when we so many sisters who are lonely. You could have four wives:
a skinny fair skinned girl. a fat dark skinned girl, a pious girl a girl who will love you for being a good man.and someone in between.

salaams to all
what if this is what i find attractive?
what kind of marriage would it be if i marry someone im not physically attracted to at all?
why cant a girl be what i like-physically & be pious?
why is it that we like to say the fat & dark ones are pious?
i dont want a skinny girl- theres many levels between skinny & fat/chubby.
why cant i have a girl that has a good figure?
how can you expect a man to accept a girl who is not attractive to him?
despite our own appearances, most men would choose a fair skinned girl who is also beautiful and has a good figure/shape.
this is apart from her piety/character etc which obviously we all consider important.
again, how can you expect me to marry someone who i dont find physically attractive at all?
i wont touch her- i will most probably sleep apart from her from day 1.
its different when you marry someone who is physically attractive to you & she puts on weight after marriage/children
then, too, she is not as attractive as when u first married her but thats understanderable.


4 wives- all women are possessive- who will want to share their husbands affections with another woman?
im being honest about what i cinsider to be the real reason/s why i cant get married to someone i want to get married to.
i find that most sisters who are over 25 & single are fat, dark & not good looking at all.
remember, i said MOST-there are exceptions.
then, these sisters act as if they dont know whats wrong with the brothers who dont want to marry them, they dont want to admit that the real reason is their physical appearance.
i know that these sisters have many good qualities and are often quite pious but if there is no physical attraction how can you expect the brothers to be prepared to marry you?
its not their fault that Allah ta'ala made you the way you are.
in my case- i openly admit it, that i know im not handsome- and i know its very hard to get the type of girls i find attracive to agree to marry me.
why should they, if they dont find me physically attractive?
they are also insaan, with feelings & desires etc.

and Allah ta'ala knows best
jazakallah
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam walaikum,

Brother, go and find what you find to be attractive.

I had difficulty with you lumping skin tones. You brought color into the reply. And I have difficulty following people who use skin tones. It is that simple.
 

msmoorad

mommys boy
salaams to all
maybe im wrong but you are most probably dark skinned yourself- thats why u are so "touchy" about this issue.

we see this happening in front of our eyes all the time but DONT want to accept it.
even during the time of the Sahaba(RAD) things like skin colour, etcnicity, lineage etc were factors that influenced who got married to whom.
the case of Julaybib(RAD) is one of few exceptions.
even Hazrath Zaid who was Rasullullah(SAW)'s adopted son had to seperate from Zainub due to his lineage/ethnicity.
she was not happy to be married to him although Rasullullah (SAW) himself desired that he should marry her.
but we prefer to act as if skin colour does not matter.
YES, in the eyes of Allah ta'ala it does not matter but it does not mean we should choose anyone just because they are pious only.

Which of you would be prepared to marry someone, no matter how pious, if they did not find them physically attractive at all?

its a blatant lie to say everyone is beautiful.
beauty is a nemat of Allah ta'ala- some have it, some dont.
just like wealth.
a person with $1 has money & a person with $100 000 also has money.
but would you call both wealthy?
same for beauty.
and dont give that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" line cos its a lame defence mechanism.

and Allah ta'ala knows best
jazakallah
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam walaikum,

Nope, am not dark skinned. Not the last time I looked, anyway.

You are asking tough questions. You have an idea of what you want. Go for it.

I am touchy about skin color as I am an American and have been fighting racism for many years.

Physical attraction is important. However, it is part and parcel of being young. With the passage of time that becomes unimportant. An emotional/spiritual attraction is more important.

You could be 6'2', as handsome as Adonis, as buff as lifeguard on a hot summer day,and tanned to the max and be hollow. What is that going to do for my deen? When decisions are going to be made what do physical attributes have to do with the outcome.

We can not chase beauty. What we can do is watch beauty unfold with eyes of love and respect, through the passage of time. How, we measure beauty is by the virtuous deeds of a person. The constancy they show to apply the faith to all segments of life.

And remember, in Islam, marriage is not just the couple. It is part of the community.

Is it not written that sometimes what we think is bad for us is really good.

Nothing, is preventing you from what you want. You are honest.
 

faaraa

Nothing but Muslimah
I never knew this story before..

I really loved this story..

Jazakallahu Khair for sharing
 

Mairo

Maryama
:salam2:

Thanks so much for posting the story akhi, this is the first time I have heard it. Yet another reason why the prophet, may peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, is so dear to me.

:wasalam:
 

Ershad

Junior Member
Assalamu Alaikkum wa rahamatullahi wa barakatuhu,

*bump*

Just wanted to mention the source and authenticity of this Hadeeth.

This hadith is mentioned in Sahih-Muslim, Book 3, Hadith No. 1861 and Musnad Ahmad, Book 9, Hadith No. 22 .

Have confidence and hope in Allah and Sunnah of the Messenger :saw2:, by hope I mean, endless hope....
 
Salam,

i listened to this story long time ago.. same word to word.. but at the end, i remember that the girl who married julaib R.A became very rich and everyone wanted to marry her.. i have a faint memory but this is what i remember
 
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