Just curious - views / experience on polygamy

Polygamy

  • I am a married man and I have more than one wife

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • I am a married man and I would LIKE more than one wife

    Votes: 5 7.2%
  • I am a married man and I would CONSIDER more than one wife

    Votes: 4 5.8%
  • I am a married man and I would NEVER consider more than one wife

    Votes: 5 7.2%
  • I am an unmarried man (please specify your views on polygamy)

    Votes: 18 26.1%
  • I am a married woman and my husband has more than one wife

    Votes: 1 1.4%
  • I am a married woman and I would LIKE a polygamous marriage

    Votes: 2 2.9%
  • I am a married woman and I would NOT like a polygamous marriage

    Votes: 14 20.3%
  • I am a married woman and I would NOT like to be the second, third or fourth wife

    Votes: 2 2.9%
  • I am an unmarried woman (please specify your views on polygamy)

    Votes: 19 27.5%

  • Total voters
    69
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amina88

I live & die 4 Allah
Come again! Think again! Aisha ra, the best women in the eyes of the Prophet asw was in a polygamous relationship. Hajar, the best women in the eyes of Prophet Ibrahim asw was in a ploygamous relationship! Do you think they were women with low self-esteem who thought they deserved no better! thats absurd! sorry sister if that sounds a bit nasty

Great minds think alike! I believe that only women with low self-worth and those who have endured oppressed lives could handle and accept this type of situation because they think they deserve no better. LOL!!!
 

dianek

Junior Member
Just think of it this way, when we are young, we have our fathers looking after us and providing for us, if fathers are not there, then its our brothers or unlces, when we marry its our husband looking after is...get it? Allah sw has forever ordained me to look after, serve and support women!!! What many people don't realise is that men and women are equal but have different roles and responsiblities that neither makes then inferior nor superior over one another.
Second, you're saying you don't need a husband, but wait till you get a bit older when your siblings marry and move on and you are left to care for your parents...you hit your fourties and still nothing. Would you like that? Only Allah sw is meant for loneliness, not you or anyone else.
Third, marriage is something that everyoneone needs in life...it completes their eman and life and is one of the only ways of making more muslims. Marriage is the sunnah!
Fourth if you're gonna allow your husband to marry another women then don't place restrictions, I don't know, it just sounds a bit harsh to me, either allow it or not allow it, not semi-allowed it.
Sorry if I offended you sister:hijabi::muslima::blackhijab:


Well I have 4 kids and they are all I need so if my husband were to LUST after another he can have her but not me any longer......I never need another man in my life. I have a best friend and we decided that if our marriages don't work out we swear off men and we will just keep each other company as sisters........What is left that I need a man for? Physical actions? I have been married twice and I can tell you honestly, I could careless if I ever touch a man again. Too me it isn't really worth all the hassle. Everyone seems to think that marriage is such a wonderful thing. Tell me that after you have had your thousandeth arguement for the week over nothing, or he calls you at work ranting about how he had to get up to be with the kids while you are working and he is acting like he is doing YOU the favor. No, marriage is not necessary for me now! If this one ends then I am done! I will just be with my babies. He can move on. And polygamy would certainly make life undesirable for me. I want my husband to WANT only me! To touch only me! To miss only me! And if he can't, then he doesn't deserve ME!
 

dianek

Junior Member
Come again! Think again! Aisha ra, the best women in the eyes of the Prophet asw was in a polygamous relationship. Hajar, the best women in the eyes of Prophet Ibrahim asw was in a ploygamous relationship! Do you think they were women with low self-esteem who thought they deserved no better! thats absurd!


That was then and this is now.....things change! Hajar did so because she could not have a child and was old but then later was jealous and asked him to send the servant and child away! And Aisha, forgive me as I am a new muslim, but what choice did she have.....she was only NINE YEARS OLD! Again, times change!
 

Doris

Junior Member
Bismilah,

To some of the sisters in particular:NOW, for the polygamy much was said about it. Why push it? if you don't want your husband to get married to another wife OK. We got it.it is just fine. BUT I have not seen you yet, my sisters pushing in the same rythm the problem that our brothers have when they shave off their beards? or maybe you want them to look like the homosexuals men of the west? or maybe you sisters have seen much magazines of celeberties and that is the only peicture of you ideal man? forgot about the sahabah radiallahu anhu? replaced them with the kuffar men?common sisters let me here you make the same noise for them to grow their beards as you are doing about polygamy.

A feminine woman has the effect of a sunrise on a man's soul. But men are also to blame. They have become like sissy pants men not real ones. They are scared from their own shadow. We have accepted the feminist lie that women should be independent and pursue careers. This is what I just saw above where some of my sisters said that "THEY DON'T NEED A MAN. OR MY MAN GETS PAID LESS THEN I DO "ETC ETC. What kind of a speech is this? Is it true that most sisters have accepted the feminist lie that women should be independent and pursue careers??? and if my sisters meant the above than know my beloved ones that a woman who is preoccupied with another demanding career cannot pay attention to her family. That is why in the west today we see this crazy divorce rate. Feminists are teaching are sisters and women to be "strong and independent." and they took this from Karl Marx so every feminist is a communist. Just as the woman is the heart of the family, the man is the head and shoulders. They make decisions together but he has the last word. Not like the kuffar men to shom who they women riase their voices like donkies when they talk to them. SISTERS be careful because I think you are doing what feminists kafiraat are telling you to do. the Prophet alayhee salam has already told us that " we will be in judgment day with the ones we love."
 

dianek

Junior Member
Bismilah,

To some of the sisters in particular:NOW, for the polygamy much was said about it. Why push it? if you don't want your husband to get married to another wife OK. We got it.it is just fine. BUT I have not seen you yet, my sisters pushing in the same rythm the problem that our brothers have when they shave off their beards? or maybe you want them to look like the homosexuals men of the west? or maybe you sisters have seen much magazines of celeberties and that is the only peicture of you ideal man? forgot about the sahabah radiallahu anhu? replaced them with the kuffar men?common sisters let me here you make the same noise for them to grow their beards as you are doing about polygamy.

A feminine woman has the effect of a sunrise on a man's soul. But men are also to blame. They have become like sissy pants men not real ones. They are scared from their own shadow. We have accepted the feminist lie that women should be independent and pursue careers. This is what I just saw above where some of my sisters said that "THEY DON'T NEED A MAN. OR MY MAN GETS PAID LESS THEN I DO "ETC ETC. What kind of a speech is this? Is it true that most sisters have accepted the feminist lie that women should be independent and pursue careers??? and if my sisters meant the above than know my beloved ones that a woman who is preoccupied with another demanding career cannot pay attention to her family. That is why in the west today we see this crazy divorce rate. Feminists are teaching are sisters and women to be "strong and independent." and they took this from Karl Marx so every feminist is a communist. Just as the woman is the heart of the family, the man is the head and shoulders. They make decisions together but he has the last word. Not like the kuffar men to shom who they women riase their voices like donkies when they talk to them. SISTERS be careful because I think you are doing what feminists kafiraat are telling you to do. the Prophet alayhee salam has already told us that " we will be in judgment day with the ones we love."


WHEN my husband steps up and starts taking over the bills and providing for our family and not just earning his money to fullfil things that matter to him alone then maybe I would say yes I would like to stay home and be just a mother. OFCOURSE I would love to stay home and be that housewife and mother to my babies instead of dumping them at a sitter all day. BUT HE DOESN'T........He wants all the modern perks of a "feminist woman" but also a traditional wife. Well when I have a traditional husband who allows a lifestyle for me to just be a wife and mother then I will be fine....YOU THINK I WANT a career and job that forces me to leave at 7AM and return after 5:30PM to rush home and cook, clean, do homework in a matter of 3 hours before my kids have to go to bed? NO I DON'T, But since I have to, what purpose is there for a man?
 

samiha

---------
Staff member
Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullah my dear brothers and sisters,

I just want to say that I think we are getting out of hand here. I am personally not married, but I think that this dicussion has gone far enough.

As my mother would say, "This is a sensitive topic, especially for women"

I concur, it is a senstive topic. It is also true that it is Allah who makes the limits for the people, and He knows what is best. If He has judged that this is fair, right and correct, then we as people have nothing more to say.

We are not believers till we accept Allah and His decrees in our heart with full grace and submission, "Sam'ina wa 'At'ana" - "We hear and we obey" .... that is how we should be. Even if we believe that having more than one marriage is not for us we cannot get hot-headed and say things in the heat of the moment.

As a personal fact, I believe in some cases it is needed, but in most there are plenty of other men to marry the women then there is no need, of if the man cannot do justice. As in for the support of divorced women, widows, orphans etc, many times they are lacking their help, and the only way in which Islaam opens a good door is by marriage, if they're family is not able to help any longer.

A muslimah is protected, covered, and supported by her family and communtiy all the time, and thus the bondage of marriage is many times needed. Again this part is my view.

However, Allah's commands are with His infinite knowledge and wisdom, so lets leave it at that. You dont feel comfortable, write it in you nikah, if you've not done that, approach the topic with the one you live with, etc etc. And always remember the other ayah in the Qur'aan as well in which it says, "Allah does not burden a soul with more than it can bear" So it's He who knows if we could take it or if we could not, and what people can and are meant to bear and what the reward for each is in doing thus. After the commands of Allah, there's nothing to discuss, I'm sorry.

Wa Allahu 'Alem

~~ Thread Closed ~~

wasalam
 

Al-Kashmiri

Well-Known Member
Staff member
you are right bro.

Allah has willed it, but its one of those things i will probably never understand. I accept it happens but would not be happy personally if my husband wanted it.

The best thing is to look into matter, see what the Qur'aan, the Sunnah and the Salaf and those scholars who follow this way have to say.

Anyway, I came here to close this thread but Samiha got here first. May Allaah reward those who defend the Sunnah and implement it.
 
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