Justification for wife beating?

[kayleigh]

:salam2:

I AM NOT A SIS!!!!:angryblue: :angryred:

:shake:

hahaha wow - thanks to that I've realized that I have mistakenly been reading your username has Happy 2BA Muslima instead of Muslim for the past...well, since I registered. Don't know why :/

And, as to the topic, I do agree that we should follow the example set by the Prophet (peace be upon him) and not beat our wives just because the Qur'an says we can. Many things permitted in the Qur'an have been abused

As to the 72 virgins thing...there's a lot of threads on this site about it if you search it and if I remember correctly, the hadith that comes from is a weak hadith. More information can be seen in this thread, for example, but I know there are many more: http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showthread.php?t=6066&highlight=virgins

Although...this whole thing brings up a good point. I've often wondered why so much attention is paid to what men get in the afterlife, describing it in detail, while not as much is ever said about what women get.

 

[apocalypse77]

hahaha wow - thanks to that I've realized that I have mistakenly been reading your username has Happy 2BA Muslima instead of Muslim for the past...well, since I registered. Don't know why :/

And, as to the topic, I do agree that we should follow the example set by the Prophet (peace be upon him) and not beat our wives just because the Qur'an says we can. Many things permitted in the Qur'an have been abused

As to the 72 virgins thing...there's a lot of threads on this site about it if you search it and if I remember correctly, the hadith that comes from is a weak hadith. More information can be seen in this thread, for example, but I know there are many more: http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showthread.php?t=6066&highlight=virgins

Although...this whole thing brings up a good point. I've often wondered why so much attention is paid to what men get in the afterlife, describing it in detail, while not as much is ever said about what women get.

the 72 virgins thing?i thought that was nowhere found in the quran..i beleive this is something that was concocted by the media to make fun at muslims

anyway even if we can interact with the opposite sex in heaven, one thing for usre is theyre not lusty and seductive and all of them lower their gaze and respect each other..

 

[Raihan]

No wife beating in the Quran. Please read the following translations of verse 4:34

[QXP] Men are the protectors and maintainers of women. They shall take full care of women with what they spend of their wealth. Allah has made men to excel in some areas and women to excel in some areas. Men must see to it that women are provided for, and that they are able to stand on their feet in the society. So, righteous women are obedient to Allah's Ordinances and guard their moral values even in privacy, the Values that Allah Commands to be guarded. If you experience rebellion from women, and they stand up against you, apprise them of possible consequences. Next, leave them in their resting places apart from you. And keep admonishing them with examples that they stop rebelling. If they pay heed to you, seek not a way against them. Allah is Most High, Great.

[George Sale] Men shall have the pre-eminence above women, because of those advantages wherein God hath caused the one of them to excel the other, and for that which they expend of their substance in maintaining their wives. The honest women are obedient, careful in the absence of their husbands, for that God preserveth them, by committing them to the care and protection of the men. But those, whose perverseness ye shall be apprehensive of, rebuke; and remove them into separate apartments, and chastise them. But if they shall be obedient unto you, seek not an occasion of quarrel against them; for God is high and great.

[Maulana Ali] Men are the maintainers of women, with what Allah has made some of them to excel others and with what they spend out of their wealth. So the good women are obedient, guarding the unseen as Allah has guarded. And (as to) those on whose part you fear desertion, admonish them, and leave them alone in the beds and chastise them. So if they obey you, seek not a way against them. Surely Allah is ever Exalted, Great.

[Free Minds] The men are to support the women by what God has gifted them over one another and for what they spend of their money. The upright women who are attentive, and keep private the personal matters for what God keeps watch over. As for those women from whom you fear a desertion, then you shall advise them, and abandon them in the bedchamber, and separate from them; if they obey you, then do not seek a way over them; God is High, Great.

 

[Daud McGuire]

salam

If my wife cheats on me I won't beat her. I will leave her.


My Uncle told me a sheik he knew went to saudi once, and he met with a a community of sheiks and a woman was there. She was to be stoned to death as she was carrying a baby from a man that was not her husband, even though she had a husband. Aparently a few sheiks had to stand around frowing rocks at her.

What is TTI members opinion on this.

 

[Globalpeace]

Asslamo Allaikum,

I translated and updated a book on "Islamic rules and regulations for Marriage & Divorce" for Islamic Sharia Council (UK) so IF husband cheats, doesn't provide financial assistance, perpetrates domestic violence etc. then the wife has full rights to contact an Islamic court (Shariah councils in the West) and ask for Khula (annulment of marriage) or seek appropriate judgement.

Speaking to the scholar; he gets cases like this all the time

Well it is a two way street but there isn't anything about what women should do when their men cheat on them. Right?

I am a sister.

 

[Globalpeace]

Mufti Taqi Usmani's English Translation

Asslamo Allaikum,

SOme of the people that you have mentioned in this post are QADIYANEES i.e. Not Muslims.

Following is the English translation of Mufti Taqi Usmani and this is the ONLY English Translation of Qur'aan by a contemporary and renowned Scholar.

[4:34] Men are caretakers of women, since Allah has made some of them excel the others, and because of the wealth they have spent. So, the righteous women are obedient, (and) guard (the property and honor of their husbands) in (their) absence with the protection given by Allah. As for women of whom you fear rebellion, convince them, and leave them apart in beds, and beat them. Then, if they obey you, do not seek a way against them. Surely, Allah is the Highest, the Greatest.

No wife beating in the Quran. Please read the following translations of verse 4:34

[QXP] Men are the protectors and maintainers of women. They shall take full care of women with what they spend of their wealth. Allah has made men to excel in some areas and women to excel in some areas. Men must see to it that women are provided for, and that they are able to stand on their feet in the society. So, righteous women are obedient to Allah's Ordinances and guard their moral values even in privacy, the Values that Allah Commands to be guarded. If you experience rebellion from women, and they stand up against you, apprise them of possible consequences. Next, leave them in their resting places apart from you. And keep admonishing them with examples that they stop rebelling. If they pay heed to you, seek not a way against them. Allah is Most High, Great.

[George Sale] Men shall have the pre-eminence above women, because of those advantages wherein God hath caused the one of them to excel the other, and for that which they expend of their substance in maintaining their wives. The honest women are obedient, careful in the absence of their husbands, for that God preserveth them, by committing them to the care and protection of the men. But those, whose perverseness ye shall be apprehensive of, rebuke; and remove them into separate apartments, and chastise them. But if they shall be obedient unto you, seek not an occasion of quarrel against them; for God is high and great.

[Maulana Ali] Men are the maintainers of women, with what Allah has made some of them to excel others and with what they spend out of their wealth. So the good women are obedient, guarding the unseen as Allah has guarded. And (as to) those on whose part you fear desertion, admonish them, and leave them alone in the beds and chastise them. So if they obey you, seek not a way against them. Surely Allah is ever Exalted, Great.

[Free Minds] The men are to support the women by what God has gifted them over one another and for what they spend of their money. The upright women who are attentive, and keep private the personal matters for what God keeps watch over. As for those women from whom you fear a desertion, then you shall advise them, and abandon them in the bedchamber, and separate from them; if they obey you, then do not seek a way over them; God is High, Great.

 

[Globalpeace]

72 Virgin Myth!

http://www.everything2.com/index.pl?node=72 Virgins in Paradise

http://www.guidedones.com/metapage/frq/islamicpar.htm

http://www.islamfortoday.com/firestone01.htm

the 72 virgins thing?i thought that was nowhere found in the quran..i beleive this is something that was concocted by the media to make fun at muslims

anyway even if we can interact with the opposite sex in heaven, one thing for usre is theyre not lusty and seductive and all of them lower their gaze and respect each other..

 

[Imad]

Assalmoelaikoem warahmatullahi wbarakatuh,

islam is not based on opinions of TTI members. This website is to clear misconceptions. How do we want to clear misconceptions?

We are able to do this by referring to trustworthy scholars. They are the one who are able to give you a clear answer with clear proofs.

And also the Quraan is revealed in arabic, we don't have to use differend translations made by non-muslims. The Quraan has also to be seen in the light of the sunna. Our prophet Peace and blessings Of Allah be with Him was a walking Quraan. There are Tafasirs in this light.

And also you don't have to tell people what people have told you. Because i myself have experienced that the stories people tell are not always reliable.

And also many people misuse the word sheiks. You hear this days. I'am also called sometimes sheik, does this mean i am a real sheik?

Now you have oil-sheik, this sheik that sheik. May Allah protect me an you of this exaggeration

So go back to scholars.

Wassalmoalaikoem warahmatullahi wbarakatuh,

Imad

 

[Happy 2BA Muslim]

If my wife cheats on me I won't beat her. I will leave her.


My Uncle told me a sheik he knew went to saudi once, and he met with a a community of sheiks and a woman was there. She was to be stoned to death as she was carrying a baby from a man that was not her husband, even though she had a husband. Aparently a few sheiks had to stand around frowing rocks at her.

What is TTI members opinion on this.

:salam2: Brother,

The hadd (Islamic punishment) of zina (adultery) is from Allah SWT. Who are we to give our opinions.

''It is not fitting for a Believer, man or woman, when a matter has been decided by Allah and His Messenger to have any option about their decision: if any one disobeys Allah and His Messenger, he is indeed on a clearly wrong Path.''

Surah Al-Ahzab 33:36


Something is wrong with your story. The hadd (punishment) is not carried out on a pregnant woman.

:salam2:

 

[Daud McGuire]

salam

it could be a loose version of the story, your right. The other thing I really didnt understand is that I dont think the man got punished. as well as that a brother I spoke to said that in saud a man can do more or less what he wants but if a woman does it he can do what he likes to her, and only he can divorce her, she has no say in divorce. If anyone with knowledge can clear this up it will be great. Is this an Islamic teaching by scholars in Saudi or is this what they innovtated.

Salam Alaikum

 

[abdallahbilal]

... She was to be stoned to death as she was carrying a baby from a man that was not her husband, even though she had a husband.

What is TTI members opinion on this...

:salam2:
If you mean by carrying a baby that she was pregnant then I assure you that you have been misinformed brother. Because in Islam, as far as I know, a woman (like in Hadeeth alGHamedeyyah (raa)) who gets pregnant illegally is not punnished immediately; not only they wait until she delivers the baby, but also until she weans the child.

And yes in Islam the punishment for Zina is for both genders like in MaEz (raa) hadith and also Allah SWT says:

The adulteress and the adulterer you shall whip each of them a hundred lashes. Do not be swayed by pity from carrying out GOD's law, if you truly believe in GOD and the Last Day. And let a group of believers witness their penalty. (24:2)

Allah Knows Best
​

 

[Daud McGuire]

salam

:salam2:
If you mean by carrying a baby that she was pregnant then I assure you that you have been misinformed brother. Because in Islam, as far as I know, a woman (like in Hadeeth alGHamedeyyah (raa)) who gets pregnant illegally is not punnished immediately; not only they wait until she delivers the baby, but also until she weans the child.

And yes in Islam the punishment for Zina is for both genders like in MaEz (raa) hadith and also Allah SWT says:

The adulteress and the adulterer you shall whip each of them a hundred lashes. Do not be swayed by pity from carrying out GOD's law, if you truly believe in GOD and the Last Day. And let a group of believers witness their penalty. (24:2)

Allah Knows Best
​

Salam, thank you I learn something everyday. So, in that case those muslims committing zina in the UK should be?​

 

[alkathiri]

:salam2:
If you mean by carrying a baby that she was pregnant then I assure you that you have been misinformed brother. Because in Islam, as far as I know, a woman (like in Hadeeth alGHamedeyyah (raa)) who gets pregnant illegally is not punnished immediately; not only they wait until she delivers the baby, but also until she weans the child.

And yes in Islam the punishment for Zina is for both genders like in MaEz (raa) hadith and also Allah SWT says:

The adulteress and the adulterer you shall whip each of them a hundred lashes. Do not be swayed by pity from carrying out GOD's law, if you truly believe in GOD and the Last Day. And let a group of believers witness their penalty. (24:2)

Allah Knows Best
​

:salam2:
Akhi JazakAllah. This once again proves that islam treats both gender equally..​

 

[abdallahbilal]

Salam, thank you I learn something everyday. So, in that case those muslims committing zina in the UK should be?

:salam2:
They should repent to Allah (swt) and do good deeds. And from my understanding and reading of different fatws, no need to confess to anybody and they can't be punnished except when there is:

1- an Islamic state that can carry out Islamic law. It's not for ordinary Muslims to carry out the punnishment if there was no Islamic state.
2- the crime should be confirmed in the method prescribed by Islamic Sharia (like bringing four witnesses who would describe the crime in details with four similar stories), or by confession of the crime. Confession is discouraged and repentance is privileged.

Please see these two fatwas:

1)
...If the ruler does not do what is required of him of carrying out punishments prescribed in sharee’ah, then no one of the Muslim masses has the right to do that, because punishments first require proof that this person deserves this punishment, then they require the authority to carry them out.
If the door is opened for people to carry out the shar’i punishments, chaos will reign in society and no one’s life or wealth will be safe.
The scholars of the Standing Committee said:
The one whose job it is to establish proof of witchcraft and carry out those punishments is the ruler who is in charge of the Muslims’ affairs, so as to ward off evil and to close the door to chaos....

http://www.islam-qa.com/index.php?ref=82201&ln=eng






2)

Repenting From Adultery​

Question:
Brother I don't know what to do, but I have committed a great sin. I know the concept of confession does not exist in our beautiful religion, but I have committed fornication. I am trying to repent, and trying to ask Allah for his forgiveness. As I was reading Surah Noor, I found out that I can't marry a chaste woman, what should I do. Please pray for me so Allah makes his punishments easy on me in the Hell fire.

Answer:
Al-hamdu lillaah.

1) Do not despair, for Allaah the Most Exalted and Glorified said (interpretation of the meaning): "Say: Oh my servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the mercy of Allaah, for Allaah forgives all sins; for He is oft-forgiving, most merciful." [Surah 39,Verse 53]​

2) Let your repentance be truly from your heart, and stay away from all sources of temptations. Also, perform many good deeds, as good deeds abrogate the bad ones. ​

3) If you repent to Allah, you are no longer described as a fornicator (zaani). Therefore, you can marry a chaste woman. ​

4) The believer has high hope and aspiration for the best from Allaah. He not only asks Allah for making his punishment easy in hellfire, but he also prays to God the Almighty to save him from Hell and award him with paradise for his repentance and good deeds.
http://www.islam-qa.com/index.php?ref=624&ln=eng
​

 

[Aapa]

Salaam,

One of the most beautiful things I have read in Bukari was the story of the adultress who kept coming to the Prophet (swas). Each time she came to him bearing news of her preganancy, childbrith, and weaning the child. The Prophet (swas) would tell her what to do ...she kept coming back until she was stoned to death. Upon the stoning the Prophet asked that the men be gentle with her.
The point of the illustration is once we have asked for forgiveness..and we repent..we do not need to keep on asking for forgiveness. In Islam, we do not have a Scarlet Letter.
Adultery breaks the trust of family and has ripple effects on the entire community. Even in America, the home of the kuffar, over 35 % of couples remain together after one partner has violated the bonds of marriage. Forgiveness is the key.
A blade of grass to remind the wife to listen..women by our nature do not listen. I am not suggesting that men beat their wives..but if in the Holy and Noble Quran it is written that circumstances between a man and his wife would come to a point that a blade of grass is needed to remind the wife who is in command..than it must be.
When relations are so intimate, as in marriage, there are so few boundaries, often a stangnant stautus quo develops. Husbands have rights over wives. And if we, the wives, are true to the word of Isalm, we would not engage in the behaviors that irk our husband's wrath. How do I know. I am an expert in irking my husband's wrath.
We, the women of Islam, at times like this have to uphold our men. It is our Isalmic duty. They are mentally and emotionally humilated. As I read the posts on women, I think to myself. we women are so lucky we can rant and rave at all times..our brothers, by nature, to protect us keep feelings inside..often they overreact in the company of the safest person in their lives, their wives.
I pray I have not strayed in thoughts.

 

[Mohsin]

Assalamu-alaikum

Salaam,

One of the most beautiful things I have read in Bukari was the story of the adultress who kept coming to the Prophet (swas). Each time she came to him bearing news of her preganancy, childbrith, and weaning the child. The Prophet (swas) would tell her what to do ...she kept coming back until she was stoned to death. Upon the stoning the Prophet asked that the men be gentle with her.
The point of the illustration is once we have asked for forgiveness..and we repent..we do not need to keep on asking for forgiveness. In Islam, we do not have a Scarlet Letter.
Adultery breaks the trust of family and has ripple effects on the entire community. Even in America, the home of the kuffar, over 35 % of couples remain together after one partner has violated the bonds of marriage. Forgiveness is the key.
A blade of grass to remind the wife to listen..women by our nature do not listen. I am not suggesting that men beat their wives..but if in the Holy and Noble Quran it is written that circumstances between a man and his wife would come to a point that a blade of grass is needed to remind the wife who is in command..than it must be.
When relations are so intimate, as in marriage, there are so few boundaries, often a stangnant stautus quo develops. Husbands have rights over wives. And if we, the wives, are true to the word of Isalm, we would not engage in the behaviors that irk our husband's wrath. How do I know. I am an expert in irking my husband's wrath.
We, the women of Islam, at times like this have to uphold our men. It is our Isalmic duty. They are mentally and emotionally humilated. As I read the posts on women, I think to myself. we women are so lucky we can rant and rave at all times..our brothers, by nature, to protect us keep feelings inside..often they overreact in the company of the safest person in their lives, their wives.
I pray I have not strayed in thoughts.

:salam2:
What else to say than Jazakallahu khairan, sister its nice to have a supportive and understanding sister like you. I always see wisdon and care for the Ummah in your words. May Allah SWT reward you with his pleasure and mercy and keep you steadfast on the path of Jannah, Aameen
Ma'assalaam

 

[Dogu_kizi]

Thank you so much BROTHERS and SISTERS
Jazakallahu kheyran!!!

 

[visionusman]

Assalamualaikum. There is a difference between allowed and recommended. We should all remember that once we any one of us raises his hand over his wife he has immediately done something that the Prophet SAW never did in his entire life. The question at that stage would be was the situation actually extreme enough? It is for the greater good that this is allowed not for our ego. An example that might illustrate this is that of dealing with children. We are allowed to hit them if they are defiant in the performance of salaat. However we are supposed to start teaching them and urging them from the age of 7 years even though the salaat is not obligatory untill age 10. So we have 3 years to teach them with love and patience. And we are allowed to raise our hand only as a last resort after 3 years of love and patience only for the greater good; not for our ego. Imagine 3 years of gentle persuasion come first. The same principles apply in our relationship with our wives. Islam is not something that should be understood in black and white. We are not taught haste, but patience, not hatred but love and respect. it was with extreme caution that this was allowed. Had it not been for the greeater good it would not even have been allowed. And besides in most circumstances if this step has to be taken the relationship is already lost. The trouble is many men do it to satisfy their own ego. They do not have the discipline to understand the greater good. May Allah always prevent us from ever having to use force in our dealing with each other. Alhamdullilah I for one never had to do it; ever. Even though I had been tested and even though she had a total lack of heart for me. Allah knows best.

 

[abdallahbilal]

:salam2:
Well said visionusman
Mashallah