slaveofAllah88
Slave of Allah (swt)
:salam2:
yes especially in every local community but there is barely anything like that....
Lack of Good Suitors
- Thread starter ShahnazZ
- Start date
:salam2:
yes especially in every local community but there is barely anything like that....
ShahnazZ
Striving2BeAStranger
Although I agree with many of the marriage obstacles being stated, my query doesn't have anything to do with racist or narrow-minded parents. Alhamdulillah some of us are blessed with amazing and open-minded parents who want our happiness more than any other material qualification. For those parents that DO insist on implementing these barriers, the solution for marriage is simple: remove the barriers. But what about those whose parents DON'T create limitations for them? The issue isn't about parents creating limitations for us, it's to address certain limitations being presented by the brothers regarding what THEY look for in wives.
MohammedMaksudul
May Allah Forgive us
:salam2:
I just a saw a show of Dr. Zakir Naik on peace tv called the bitter half and better half. A women asked a question regarding the service of the in-laws, so he said that if you face difficulty by living with the in-laws in this world but attain Jannah in the hereafter then is it not better to face such difficulty. He also said that a man's Jannah is below his mother's feet, so he has to serve them. And a wife's duty is to serve the husband. So as a service to the husband the wife has to serve the in-laws. Living separated is only allowed if and only if the man is able to take care of the parents (specially when they attain old age) well enough, provided that they live close by and can easily cater to the parent's needs. If the husband insists on living separately and not serving the parents then that will be a major sin and if a wife restraints the husband from serving his parents, then the wife is not a virtuous wife.
I just a saw a show of Dr. Zakir Naik on peace tv called the bitter half and better half. A women asked a question regarding the service of the in-laws, so he said that if you face difficulty by living with the in-laws in this world but attain Jannah in the hereafter then is it not better to face such difficulty. He also said that a man's Jannah is below his mother's feet, so he has to serve them. And a wife's duty is to serve the husband. So as a service to the husband the wife has to serve the in-laws. Living separated is only allowed if and only if the man is able to take care of the parents (specially when they attain old age) well enough, provided that they live close by and can easily cater to the parent's needs. If the husband insists on living separately and not serving the parents then that will be a major sin and if a wife restraints the husband from serving his parents, then the wife is not a virtuous wife.
arzafar
Junior Member
:salam2:
i can only speak from islamic rules
apart from the husband being a good muslim the following applies to him
1) wife has the right to a private home meaning (septate bath, kitchen, sitting and bedroom)
2) wife has the right to proper clothing and meals for her and for the children
3) wife has the rights to intimacy when she needs it and having children etc.
4) wife has the right for her parents and family to be respected
5) wife has the rights to her own money, property business
6) wife has the rights to mahir and inheritance from the husbands property
Wife may or may not cook food, take care of his parents, clean the home and do household chores etc but these are not Islamic obligations. Previously there were slaves and now there are servants who do this job unless the couple were extremely poor (eg. Ali ibn abu talib and Fatima bint Muhammad sallahaualehewasalam)
This is proven from numerous texts. Maid was separate from wives in the vast majority of early muslim families and still is even today. Id like to see one hadith where a muslim woman is prescribed to take care of her husband's parents.
i suppose up till now all women will be happy
BUT there is a BIG BUT
in return the wife must obey her husband. yes OBEY is the right, correct, appropriate, definitive word. you cannot change it or make less extreme or more extreme or whatever. She MUST OBEY her husband in general terms and specifically with regard to
1) sexual intimacy
2) leaving the home
as long as he doesnt ask for anything unislaamic.
so much so that she cant even go to visit her relatives or fast if it clashes with 1 and 2. Working clashes with #2 just to clarify
This is an islaamic obligation and will remain so until resurrection. Extremely far fetched interpretations of clear cut text (and even clearer practice of sahaba) cannot change that.
NOTE:
1) There is off course a way around this for career-oriented women and that is the marriage contract.
2) Corrections of fiqh issues with references always appreciated
3) Marrying younger/virgin women is recommend by the Prophet (pbuh)
now as far as the topic is concerned
I do agree that men get away with murder in Islamic societies while pressure of carrying the honor and every other responsibility is born by women. I think there is general lack of good muslims and that includes both men and women which explains the dearth of muslim men.
Furthermore, most good muslim men are already married at least once, since marriage is one of the recommended acts. The good muslim women if they are really good should consider polygny instead of whining and complaining.
Conclusion: Islam has all the solutions, if one is willing to apply.
i can only speak from islamic rules
apart from the husband being a good muslim the following applies to him
1) wife has the right to a private home meaning (septate bath, kitchen, sitting and bedroom)
2) wife has the right to proper clothing and meals for her and for the children
3) wife has the rights to intimacy when she needs it and having children etc.
4) wife has the right for her parents and family to be respected
5) wife has the rights to her own money, property business
6) wife has the rights to mahir and inheritance from the husbands property
Wife may or may not cook food, take care of his parents, clean the home and do household chores etc but these are not Islamic obligations. Previously there were slaves and now there are servants who do this job unless the couple were extremely poor (eg. Ali ibn abu talib and Fatima bint Muhammad sallahaualehewasalam)
This is proven from numerous texts. Maid was separate from wives in the vast majority of early muslim families and still is even today. Id like to see one hadith where a muslim woman is prescribed to take care of her husband's parents.
i suppose up till now all women will be happy
BUT there is a BIG BUT
in return the wife must obey her husband. yes OBEY is the right, correct, appropriate, definitive word. you cannot change it or make less extreme or more extreme or whatever. She MUST OBEY her husband in general terms and specifically with regard to
1) sexual intimacy
2) leaving the home
as long as he doesnt ask for anything unislaamic.
so much so that she cant even go to visit her relatives or fast if it clashes with 1 and 2. Working clashes with #2 just to clarify
This is an islaamic obligation and will remain so until resurrection. Extremely far fetched interpretations of clear cut text (and even clearer practice of sahaba) cannot change that.
NOTE:
1) There is off course a way around this for career-oriented women and that is the marriage contract.
2) Corrections of fiqh issues with references always appreciated
3) Marrying younger/virgin women is recommend by the Prophet (pbuh)
now as far as the topic is concerned
I do agree that men get away with murder in Islamic societies while pressure of carrying the honor and every other responsibility is born by women. I think there is general lack of good muslims and that includes both men and women which explains the dearth of muslim men.
Furthermore, most good muslim men are already married at least once, since marriage is one of the recommended acts. The good muslim women if they are really good should consider polygny instead of whining and complaining.
Conclusion: Islam has all the solutions, if one is willing to apply.
MohammedMaksudul
May Allah Forgive us
:salam2:
JazakAllahu Khayran brother Arzafar.
JazakAllahu Khayran brother Arzafar.
MohammedMaksudul
May Allah Forgive us
:salam2:
My mother often has to work from morning to night, because sometimes its hard to get servants. And servants these days leave the house often and do not stay loyal to one employer. Since its my mother's family and house, she automatically has to take care of the food other things etc. She gets very tired, but due to necessity has to work. So it is my personal choice to marry such a muslimah who will be very kind and will not hesitate to relieve my mother of some stress. This does not mean that I want a wife, whom I will treat as a maid. My mother for instance is not a maid. So yes this is what I wanted to say, a wife working in the husband's family does not mean she is a maid or she is taken as a maid. I sometimes don't understand, why working in one's own house will make oneself a maid or a servant. And I feel it is really unkind and very unlikely for a muminah to see her husband's old mother working and not helping her out or even refusing to take care of the old parents.
My mother often has to work from morning to night, because sometimes its hard to get servants. And servants these days leave the house often and do not stay loyal to one employer. Since its my mother's family and house, she automatically has to take care of the food other things etc. She gets very tired, but due to necessity has to work. So it is my personal choice to marry such a muslimah who will be very kind and will not hesitate to relieve my mother of some stress. This does not mean that I want a wife, whom I will treat as a maid. My mother for instance is not a maid. So yes this is what I wanted to say, a wife working in the husband's family does not mean she is a maid or she is taken as a maid. I sometimes don't understand, why working in one's own house will make oneself a maid or a servant. And I feel it is really unkind and very unlikely for a muminah to see her husband's old mother working and not helping her out or even refusing to take care of the old parents.
MohammedMaksudul
May Allah Forgive us
:salam2:
Also some find working outside more important than serving one's husband. If you really want to work then work to make your home a better place. Women are the treasures of the home, they keep the family together. They provide love and care for all. That is why a son's Jannah is below the mothers feet.
Also some find working outside more important than serving one's husband. If you really want to work then work to make your home a better place. Women are the treasures of the home, they keep the family together. They provide love and care for all. That is why a son's Jannah is below the mothers feet.
hayat_yahya
Junior Member
http://www.zawaj.com/american-muslim...-good-suitors/
American Muslim Women Complain of Lack of Good Suitors
American Muslim Women Complain of Lack of Good Suitors
Afaf*, 25, has been searching for a husband for a solid two years to no avail.
“All my friends were getting married by the age of 22, so, naturally, I wanted to be part of the “wedding club,” she recalls. “And, of course, there was this romantic notion that it would be the love story of love stories.”
Afaf started feeling the pressure as her friends talked endlessly about wedding dresses, halal caterers and honeymoons, even though she had not been planning on getting married while in college.
“For whatever reason, getting married seemed to be the only, if not main, goal they strived for,” she says. “So, I felt I had to have this goal as well, and felt lacking among my friends that I was not married upon completion of my undergraduate studies.”
Thus began her search after graduating from college. When suitors came knocking, Afaf was surprised at the mediocrity of the suitors available and was left wondering, “Where are all the ‘good guys’?”
Afaf, now a first-year law student, is one of thousands of American Muslim women between the ages of 25 and 30 struggling to find a decent suitor. Educated, pious, beautiful and accomplished, these women should have a gaggle of like-minded men waiting outside their doors. Unfortunately, the few, if any, men who approach these women appear less than satisfactory.
“I tend to meet two types [of men],” says Maryam*, 28, who has also been searching for a mate since college. “The first is the practicing Muslim brother who has his act together, but unfortunately has some really incompatible ideas about women and gender roles. The second type I meet is progressive and open-minded and is truly looking for a partner in life, but is not a practicing Muslim.”
“For me,” Afaf says, “a good man is someone who lives a balanced life between Western and Eastern culture, giving precedence to religion.”
Being Seen as a Maid and a Cook
The lack of noteworthy male suitors is a topic frequently discussed between female friends. Muslim women are frustrated with the options left, and many are worried that their degrees and careers are getting in the way of meeting Mr. Right.
“We’ve been pushing young women to get educated and to get jobs, and now they’re being penalized for their ambition,” according to Munira Ezzeldine, author of “Before the Wedding: 150 Questions for Muslims to Ask Before Getting Married.”
While Women are in University, the Men Move On
Dr. Maher Hathout, spokesman for the Islamic Center of Southern California, agrees. “Men are being programmed by their parents to look for a specific kind of woman: submissive, comforting, shy, and obedient,” he says. “The reality is that women are educated and looking to be comrades in marriage.”
The marriage crisis materializes when these women in their late 20s and early 30s become settled in their careers or studies and seem like less desirable options to men because they will not bend into this traditional role. While these women work on their personal goals, young Muslim men appear to give up on them and marry from “back home” or marry non-Muslims, making the pool of suitors even smaller.
“Education is becoming a sore point for the girls because the guy moves on,” says Shaikh Sadullah Khan, executive director of Religious Affairs at the Islamic Center of Irvine. “Our immigrant community has this mentality that our kid must graduate first, and for the girl, we’re stressing graduation versus marriage.”
Indeed, a startling number of young Muslim women are finding themselves scrambling to find a husband before reaching their 30s and possibly never marrying. Many accomplished and educated young women end up lowering their standards for the sake of avoiding lifelong loneliness.
“Unless this crisis is addressed seriously, honestly and scientifically, it will lead to the disintegration of our community through a dilution of the next generation Islamically, a sudden revolt against marriage by women or a decrease in self-esteem among wives who lowered their standards just to marry,” Hathout warns.
One young Muslim bachelor still searching for a spouse shares his take on the seeming lack of “good guys” on his weblog, “Marriage & Islam: The Quest for the Sweet One.”
In the post, Quest, as he is called to maintain anonymity, states that the worthiest bachelors start looking for a spouse when they are in their early 20s to “satisfy their built-in, intense desire for women. … And this desire is always there, in the back of every man’s mind since puberty, like a ticking [bomb].”
These young, pious men begin looking for a wife, Quest reasons, who is closest to their age, basically, 19 to 21 years old.
“And what are these ‘good, smart ambitious girls’ doing when they’re in that age range?” Quest writes. “They’re also busy working on their education” and aren’t considering marriage. Or those who are considering marriage may be in a different location, so the two never meet, and the bachelors get fed up and marry from back home, he says.
Essentially, Quest emphasizes that the lack of a meeting forum is at the heart of the issue.
“I think that is the BIGGEST problem Muslims are scattered all over the country, and we’re not well connected. It’s hard to identify, know about, and meet the families of all the ‘good girls’ in a major metropolitan city, let alone the country,” he explains. “We put all these obstacles between faithful Muslim guys and girls, that I think even a Muslim Tom Cruise would have a hard time marrying!”
With the current circumstances at hand, Ezzeldine advises young women to plan realistically.
“You have to realize that you can’t have it all,” she says. “It’s not going to be a fairy-tale where you excel at school, work 40-hour weeks, and marry a perfect guy. If you want to focus on a job or a higher degree, know that you might not have time to meet people.”
Quest echoes this sentiment by clarifying that women shouldn’t have to give up their goals, but should realize that in doing so, they are taking a risk.
“The longer they delay marriage in favor of education, the less [number of ] eligible men they’ll meet once they’re ready for marriage,” he says. “And marriage and education are not necessarily conflicting. With the right husband, both can continue. It’s definitely a topic that should be brought up when considering a potential husband,” he adds.
Dr. Hathout also favors a path that allows for both education and marriage to flourish simultaneously.
“We need to change the current family model into one that builds the self, the family, and each other at the same time,” he says. “Think of marriage as a tennis match you want to play doubles, not singles, to win. In other words, struggle together and build your empire together. You are ready for marriage as long as you can get food on the table and a roof over your head, and there’s a potentiality for growth,” he stresses.
“However, while these men are impressed with a successful and active woman, they do not consider her ‘marriage material,’” Ezzeldine adds. “Despite the elevation of women, many men have maintained traditional ideas as to the type of wife they seek. After all, they do not see anything wrong with the way their mother was.”
“I recently had a suitor who told me he would be willing to help me [around the house] by not making a mess,” Afaf recalls, adding he also told her she should not use her job as an excuse to ask him to help out at home.
“Furthermore, if he comes home from work hungry, I guess that would mean I would have to work part-time in order to have dinner prepared and ready when he comes home. I think that is the most frustrating aspect of being a female, only to be seen as a maid and a cook,” she says.
The Prophet’s (pubh) Marriage to Khadijah
Ezzeldine draws on the life of the Prophet Muhammad for guidance, specifically the example of his relationship with Khadijah.
“The Prophet’s first wife, Khadijah, was an established career woman who was 15 years older than her husband,” Ezzeldine says. “Khadijah was a very confident and successful woman who actually proposed to the 24-year-old Muhammad. Yet, the Prophet was not intimidated by her nor found her “unmarriageable.” They maintained a strong marriage as she continued to be a businesswoman, as well as wife and mother.”
Ezzeldine goes on to remind Muslims that Prophet Muhammad and Khadijah were married for 28 years, the longest of all his marriages.
“Many Muslim women seek not to compete with men, but rather to establish a partnership with their spouse,” she continues. “Ultimately, these women want to be cherished and loved in the same way that the Prophet loved Khadijah. This type of partnership in marriage can only exist when both people are accepting and respectful of one another’s ambitions and priorities in life.”
Afaf has not given up searching for Mr. Right, but meanwhile uses school as a welcome distraction.
“I used to be obsessed about marriage until I entered law school,” she says. “Pursuing my graduate studies has really allowed me to learn a lot about myself and to focus on things that matter. It is very sad to see girls who are 22 and depressed as to why they are not married. I have no problem with a woman who chooses to be a wife and a mother, but I do have problem if she believes that is all she can be or doesn’t define herself as accomplished until she attains her MRS. Degree.”
* Names have been changed.
“All my friends were getting married by the age of 22, so, naturally, I wanted to be part of the “wedding club,” she recalls. “And, of course, there was this romantic notion that it would be the love story of love stories.”
Afaf started feeling the pressure as her friends talked endlessly about wedding dresses, halal caterers and honeymoons, even though she had not been planning on getting married while in college.
“For whatever reason, getting married seemed to be the only, if not main, goal they strived for,” she says. “So, I felt I had to have this goal as well, and felt lacking among my friends that I was not married upon completion of my undergraduate studies.”
Thus began her search after graduating from college. When suitors came knocking, Afaf was surprised at the mediocrity of the suitors available and was left wondering, “Where are all the ‘good guys’?”
Afaf, now a first-year law student, is one of thousands of American Muslim women between the ages of 25 and 30 struggling to find a decent suitor. Educated, pious, beautiful and accomplished, these women should have a gaggle of like-minded men waiting outside their doors. Unfortunately, the few, if any, men who approach these women appear less than satisfactory.
“I tend to meet two types [of men],” says Maryam*, 28, who has also been searching for a mate since college. “The first is the practicing Muslim brother who has his act together, but unfortunately has some really incompatible ideas about women and gender roles. The second type I meet is progressive and open-minded and is truly looking for a partner in life, but is not a practicing Muslim.”
“For me,” Afaf says, “a good man is someone who lives a balanced life between Western and Eastern culture, giving precedence to religion.”
Being Seen as a Maid and a Cook
The lack of noteworthy male suitors is a topic frequently discussed between female friends. Muslim women are frustrated with the options left, and many are worried that their degrees and careers are getting in the way of meeting Mr. Right.
“We’ve been pushing young women to get educated and to get jobs, and now they’re being penalized for their ambition,” according to Munira Ezzeldine, author of “Before the Wedding: 150 Questions for Muslims to Ask Before Getting Married.”
While Women are in University, the Men Move On
Dr. Maher Hathout, spokesman for the Islamic Center of Southern California, agrees. “Men are being programmed by their parents to look for a specific kind of woman: submissive, comforting, shy, and obedient,” he says. “The reality is that women are educated and looking to be comrades in marriage.”
The marriage crisis materializes when these women in their late 20s and early 30s become settled in their careers or studies and seem like less desirable options to men because they will not bend into this traditional role. While these women work on their personal goals, young Muslim men appear to give up on them and marry from “back home” or marry non-Muslims, making the pool of suitors even smaller.
“Education is becoming a sore point for the girls because the guy moves on,” says Shaikh Sadullah Khan, executive director of Religious Affairs at the Islamic Center of Irvine. “Our immigrant community has this mentality that our kid must graduate first, and for the girl, we’re stressing graduation versus marriage.”
Indeed, a startling number of young Muslim women are finding themselves scrambling to find a husband before reaching their 30s and possibly never marrying. Many accomplished and educated young women end up lowering their standards for the sake of avoiding lifelong loneliness.
“Unless this crisis is addressed seriously, honestly and scientifically, it will lead to the disintegration of our community through a dilution of the next generation Islamically, a sudden revolt against marriage by women or a decrease in self-esteem among wives who lowered their standards just to marry,” Hathout warns.
One young Muslim bachelor still searching for a spouse shares his take on the seeming lack of “good guys” on his weblog, “Marriage & Islam: The Quest for the Sweet One.”
In the post, Quest, as he is called to maintain anonymity, states that the worthiest bachelors start looking for a spouse when they are in their early 20s to “satisfy their built-in, intense desire for women. … And this desire is always there, in the back of every man’s mind since puberty, like a ticking [bomb].”
These young, pious men begin looking for a wife, Quest reasons, who is closest to their age, basically, 19 to 21 years old.
“And what are these ‘good, smart ambitious girls’ doing when they’re in that age range?” Quest writes. “They’re also busy working on their education” and aren’t considering marriage. Or those who are considering marriage may be in a different location, so the two never meet, and the bachelors get fed up and marry from back home, he says.
Essentially, Quest emphasizes that the lack of a meeting forum is at the heart of the issue.
“I think that is the BIGGEST problem Muslims are scattered all over the country, and we’re not well connected. It’s hard to identify, know about, and meet the families of all the ‘good girls’ in a major metropolitan city, let alone the country,” he explains. “We put all these obstacles between faithful Muslim guys and girls, that I think even a Muslim Tom Cruise would have a hard time marrying!”
With the current circumstances at hand, Ezzeldine advises young women to plan realistically.
“You have to realize that you can’t have it all,” she says. “It’s not going to be a fairy-tale where you excel at school, work 40-hour weeks, and marry a perfect guy. If you want to focus on a job or a higher degree, know that you might not have time to meet people.”
Quest echoes this sentiment by clarifying that women shouldn’t have to give up their goals, but should realize that in doing so, they are taking a risk.
“The longer they delay marriage in favor of education, the less [number of ] eligible men they’ll meet once they’re ready for marriage,” he says. “And marriage and education are not necessarily conflicting. With the right husband, both can continue. It’s definitely a topic that should be brought up when considering a potential husband,” he adds.
Dr. Hathout also favors a path that allows for both education and marriage to flourish simultaneously.
“We need to change the current family model into one that builds the self, the family, and each other at the same time,” he says. “Think of marriage as a tennis match you want to play doubles, not singles, to win. In other words, struggle together and build your empire together. You are ready for marriage as long as you can get food on the table and a roof over your head, and there’s a potentiality for growth,” he stresses.
“However, while these men are impressed with a successful and active woman, they do not consider her ‘marriage material,’” Ezzeldine adds. “Despite the elevation of women, many men have maintained traditional ideas as to the type of wife they seek. After all, they do not see anything wrong with the way their mother was.”
“I recently had a suitor who told me he would be willing to help me [around the house] by not making a mess,” Afaf recalls, adding he also told her she should not use her job as an excuse to ask him to help out at home.
“Furthermore, if he comes home from work hungry, I guess that would mean I would have to work part-time in order to have dinner prepared and ready when he comes home. I think that is the most frustrating aspect of being a female, only to be seen as a maid and a cook,” she says.
The Prophet’s (pubh) Marriage to Khadijah
Ezzeldine draws on the life of the Prophet Muhammad for guidance, specifically the example of his relationship with Khadijah.
“The Prophet’s first wife, Khadijah, was an established career woman who was 15 years older than her husband,” Ezzeldine says. “Khadijah was a very confident and successful woman who actually proposed to the 24-year-old Muhammad. Yet, the Prophet was not intimidated by her nor found her “unmarriageable.” They maintained a strong marriage as she continued to be a businesswoman, as well as wife and mother.”
Ezzeldine goes on to remind Muslims that Prophet Muhammad and Khadijah were married for 28 years, the longest of all his marriages.
“Many Muslim women seek not to compete with men, but rather to establish a partnership with their spouse,” she continues. “Ultimately, these women want to be cherished and loved in the same way that the Prophet loved Khadijah. This type of partnership in marriage can only exist when both people are accepting and respectful of one another’s ambitions and priorities in life.”
Afaf has not given up searching for Mr. Right, but meanwhile uses school as a welcome distraction.
“I used to be obsessed about marriage until I entered law school,” she says. “Pursuing my graduate studies has really allowed me to learn a lot about myself and to focus on things that matter. It is very sad to see girls who are 22 and depressed as to why they are not married. I have no problem with a woman who chooses to be a wife and a mother, but I do have problem if she believes that is all she can be or doesn’t define herself as accomplished until she attains her MRS. Degree.”
* Names have been changed.
Assalaam walaikum,
Are these people for real?
Sisters, rule number one: cooking is a pleasure; the joy of serving your family; cleaning is a time for thinking and reflecting and remembering Allah..your home is your masala, too.
Now, help me out someone...wife and educated woman are not synonyms. A woman can be a wife. A woman can be a wife as well as an educated woman. A woman can be a wife and not an educated woman. Being educated is not a prerequisite to being a wife.
There would be more suitors if the young women would focus on wishing to be wives. In no way am I suggesting that women should not pursue knowledge, what I am suggesting is that this group of women need to rethink their priorities.
It saddened me when I read that many would consider lowering their standards to marry.
Are these people for real?
Sisters, rule number one: cooking is a pleasure; the joy of serving your family; cleaning is a time for thinking and reflecting and remembering Allah..your home is your masala, too.
Now, help me out someone...wife and educated woman are not synonyms. A woman can be a wife. A woman can be a wife as well as an educated woman. A woman can be a wife and not an educated woman. Being educated is not a prerequisite to being a wife.
There would be more suitors if the young women would focus on wishing to be wives. In no way am I suggesting that women should not pursue knowledge, what I am suggesting is that this group of women need to rethink their priorities.
It saddened me when I read that many would consider lowering their standards to marry.
MalikBrother
Junior Member
These women need to understand why husband always want the role of wife, especially housewife, who will look after children, family and that's more important than in the world, and if guy/husband love family, then guy/husband will take an extra crazy shift as long as wife is at home, looking after family and children. I know wives can do both their professions and at home, but trust me, it doesn't work that way, and kids end up being neglected for most of times. I can understand why husband is being cautious about that. Beside, women should take job only if husband payment isn't enough to fulfill the requirement of home. If husband is making enough money, then wife/mother shouldn't work, and looking after family/kids and home will be rewarded in Heaven in afterlife, and most importantly, husband will feel better knowing that while he is working away from home, at least he is reassured by wife looking after home/family/children. That's what i want as husband/guy (not married yet). I love my family more than anything in the world, and taking care of family is always very rewarding.
complex_man
Junior Member
this is the same problem for my two sisters. it is very difficult to find good spouses for them and i am very tensed.
Assalaam walaikum,
First...this article is over two years old. It does not necessarily fall into the category of news.
Second, this article is printed from a matrimonial site.
Third, this is pertinent to a very small group of young women from Orange County, California. This is a very wealthy group of women. This is not representative of Muslims, overall.
In simple words: ( I will probably be banned for this ) These women whose plight is represented in the article have forgotten who they are. Wake up silly girls and get a grip on reality. Marriage is not Muslim Housewives of Orange County.
These girls are spouting Zionist run feminist agenda. These girls are living in the lap of luxury. They are now non-thinking beings. I am still confused as to what educated and accomplished means. Does a sheet of paper give you more satisfaction than a family. A career does not define a woman. A husband does. And children just bring blessings.
First...this article is over two years old. It does not necessarily fall into the category of news.
Second, this article is printed from a matrimonial site.
Third, this is pertinent to a very small group of young women from Orange County, California. This is a very wealthy group of women. This is not representative of Muslims, overall.
In simple words: ( I will probably be banned for this ) These women whose plight is represented in the article have forgotten who they are. Wake up silly girls and get a grip on reality. Marriage is not Muslim Housewives of Orange County.
These girls are spouting Zionist run feminist agenda. These girls are living in the lap of luxury. They are now non-thinking beings. I am still confused as to what educated and accomplished means. Does a sheet of paper give you more satisfaction than a family. A career does not define a woman. A husband does. And children just bring blessings.