Lonely

[Rosheen]

Salaams,

I am a revert that is beginning to really feel the change Islam has made to my life, good and bad.

Where i work i have a group of friends i am growing distant from. All they talk about is drinking and Christmas. I wonder if they do it deliberately? I feel so excluded from conversation. At the same time i know i will never change my decision to revert or weaken my faith because i feel lonely.

I miss feeling like part of a group and interacting with people. I really wish i could find some muslims to hang out with

 

[bi'idhnillah]

:salam2:

awww sis, i feel bad for you. try to find sisters circles to attend at the weekends, i'm guessing u liv in the US? i think its a bit easier to make friends in London cuz there're sister circles in mosques n that. wish i cud do s'thing 4 u... oh well... but hang in there

wassalam

 

[*Sana*]

Salam Sister Rosheen,

I am not a revert but I totally feel what you are going through. Living in Australia, the Uni I attend is obviously not Muslim or Islamic based. So I do not have many friends, or any at all rather. I am such a loner as well! As soon as I get involved in a conversation, they start talking about drinking, partying, clubbing etc, I immediately feel dislocated.

Well I guess all those people will be the lonely ones in that life.

You are on the other end of the world sister, otherwise I would have tracked down somehow so that we both could come out of this dilemma. Lol

Anywayz sis take care!

Wasalaam

 

[Sakeena]

IMAN

Salam sister,

I am a revert too, and I know it can be lonely when you leave non-Muslim friends and wish for new Muslimah sisters to hang out with. I don't have anyone to hang out with either (My best girl friend is busy and I'm still unable to contact her as I live with my non-Muslim family who don't like me to be around her cus she might "brain-wash me)-LOL. That's stupid. But for right now I'm alone. I'm the only Muslimah in my family and community/school so I feel like I need at least one sister to talk to in order to keep my iman sparkling! but what should I do if I can't contact anyone?? Any advice??

salams,

Sakeena

 

[al-fajr]

:salam2:

Salaams,

I am a revert that is beginning to really feel the change Islam has made to my life, good and bad.

Where i work i have a group of friends i am growing distant from. All they talk about is drinking and Christmas. I wonder if they do it deliberately? I feel so excluded from conversation. At the same time i know i will never change my decision to revert or weaken my faith because i feel lonely.

I miss feeling like part of a group and interacting with people. I really wish i could find some muslims to hang out with

Im not a revert. But I think I can empathise here, with this situation, they silently 'pity' you

I am not a revert but I totally feel what you are going through. Living in Australia, the Uni I attend is obviously not Muslim or Islamic based. So I do not have many friends, or any at all rather. I am such a loner as well! As soon as I get involved in a conversation, they start talking about drinking, partying, clubbing etc, I immediately feel dislocated.

At university i dont really talk to non-muslims unnecessarily, only when theres absolutely no other way - I dont allow myself to hear/listen to their conversations so the effect is minimal. Also, I dont trust myself not to pass sarcastic comments about their drinking habits if i DO get involved in a coversation, so i dont.

University is better than...my last place - but thats another story all together

I'll add one more thing though, sadly, I have little in common with even some Muslim girls in the university, they may wear a headcovering - fine but the fact remains they sit in mix environments, socialising no problem! It really hit me today actually, when I had to ring the sister i was supposed to meet from outside the restaurant where she was sitting - just to let her know i was finished, as opposed to going right in there and getting her myself . I cant help but think, every time i see them, if youre going to bother identifying yourself with Islaam, then respect yourself and your religion by behaving in a manner befitting a proper muslim, i.e. dont sit a metre away from alcohol. Im not saying im better than them they dont drink etc but i just think every Muslim is carrying the wieght of Islaam on his/her shoulders - appreciate the burden and dont behave in a way that reflects badly on Islaam.

I dunno sisters, but, i always used to take strength from the fact that I couldnt interact with non-muslims very well - I saw it as a good thing, I always made sure there was a distinct difference in my behaviour and theres.

About the lonliness - I stuck it through, either makes you or breaks you. No company is better than bad company. You sisters can always talk to me if you want

May Allah give you sabr.

 

[TheHumbleWun]

Salaam,

Let's be proactive.....

1) Attend your local masjid and find friends

2) Attend other masjids if you can't find compatible friends at your local one

3) Participate in Islamic community activities by checking and Googling to see what Islamic events & festivities are taking place in your area.

4) Tangible friends help, but we are all one family and friends here at T2I!!

 

[Rosheen]

Salaams,

Thank you for your replies! May Allah bless you all!

I do need to be proactive. I need to stop slacking with my Islam. Full speed ahead and kaffirs have to be left behind. I do need to go to Masjid, even though it is far, i will go because i need to increase my iman. And when my iman is high then i am happy.

 

[IslamIsLight]

salam aleikum
I dont know sister but U dont have to isolate yourself from everyone
I'm trying to talk to everyone ,no matter who they are
I still keep some of my non muslim friends ,they are still good friends .Yes I may ignore their talking on some staff ,but still Im sure they learn from me also ....
The hijab or Islam are not holding me back from comunicating with people ,just be yourself and dont feel down or lonely
May Allah swt make it easy on u:tti_sister:

waaleikum salam

 

[MubarekMuslimah]

ah sis I am so sorry you feel this way...I feel bad...insha'allah we can meet again soon....I know this has a lot to do with there being no muslims in your area...insha'allah you could move or more muslims will move to be near you. I think all reverts feel this in the beginning - i certainly did. Now i have many muslim friends but several who are very dear to me....it takes time but it will happen. I have sent you a PM....insha'allah we catch up tonight... Your non muslim friends and colleagues - they are either insensitive and they are dont mean you well..I think we all experience people like this, espcially at work. When they talk like this I just keep my head down - soon my silence and obvious disinterest in the subject indicates to the good hearted ones that they are excluding me. But even if they dont I know I always have Allah swt to talk to and who listens to me.

Take care sis - I love you for the sake of Allah swt as do all your brothers and sisters here.

x

 

[AZAM_SIDDIQUI]

unless we are strong the world will be at odds with us.
once people know that we dont care inside what they do outside they respect you and look up to you as to what shud be done.that is they ask what is the right way.i shud know i not only survived but thrived in a non muslim college .maybe you ll say but ur a brother i ll say i kept a beard.and i was in a management college.the girls were so upset when i became religious lol and i was happy .all i can say is if somebody made me feel out of place i had such convition that i just subtly made the others realize heir folly..<alhamdullillah >
how i did it<with ALlah's help
one thing dont show any inclination to be part of what they do
without showing disinclinaion towards them
get a support group with whom u an laugh off what they do and reinforce ur belief
lastly and foremostly LEARN THE NAMES OF ALLAH WITH THEIR MEANINGS.AND KEEP REPEATIN HEM IN UR HEART .YOU SHALL RECEIVE SUcH BLISS THAT OTHERS WILL BE DRAWN TO U.<USED AND RECOMMENDED.
remember the messengers of the Messenger of Allah the Sahaba read their stories how they literally walked into the palaces of chosroes on their donkeys in dusty clothes with the faith burning in their souls. Allah hfiz.

 

[farhopes]

Assalamo alikom

Dear sisters, Rosheen, Isra and sana,

I do know how you feel and I do understand your situation, but I wanna ask you a question, " Don't you feel very happy and lucky that you are Muslims?" I'm definitely sure you do. So let others feel you do; let them envy you on Islam. Let them hope if they were Muslims. Can you do that as a favor to Islam???I'm sure you can Inshaa Allah.

Those non Muslim who are around you are human beings to whom our prophet, peace be on him, was sent and every Muslim is a messenger in his own place. Make those poor people love you and love Islam because of you. This is not difficult inshaa Allah, just be yourself as Muslim. As a Muslim you should be very helpful, very kind, very distinguished and cheerful. Why aren't you cheerful?? you are a Muslim.

Don't despise them because they drink, they are not Muslim anyway. Feel pity for them, feel responsibility to guide them and present them better way of life.

Do not forget that they are human beings like you and many of them may search for the Truth and need you to show them the way by the best way you can. Think of it and tell me.

Amany

 

[buraq]

Salaams,

I am a revert that is beginning to really feel the change Islam has made to my life, good and bad.

Where i work i have a group of friends i am growing distant from. All they talk about is drinking and Christmas. I wonder if they do it deliberately? I feel so excluded from conversation. At the same time i know i will never change my decision to revert or weaken my faith because i feel lonely.

I miss feeling like part of a group and interacting with people. I really wish i could find some muslims to hang out with

masha allah, i know how you feel, i have been there, the first christmas was so hard for me cos of my children, when they went back to school and the other children would ask what they got, and my mother who i would not let her give xmas gifts to them, she said i,d lost my mind,
but hamdulillah this is just a test and the whisper of shaytan,
you will be well ,
wa'alaykum as-salam

 

[AZAM_SIDDIQUI]

DUA

this apart the speific dua is take he names of Allah
ya ALLAHU,:tti_sister:YA-
AHADU{ONE},:tti_sister:YAWAAHIDU,[UNIQUE}:tti_sister:YAMAUJOODU{EVER PRESENT},:tti_sister:YAJAUWAADU,:tti_sister:YAABASITU,{EXPANDER}:tti_sister:YAAKREEMU,{:tti_sister:YAARAHEEMUYA RAHMAANU..:tti_sister:YAA Z-ULJALLALEWAL-IKRAMLORD OF THE MAJESTIC THRONE.
YAA HANNAANU YAAMANNANU YAA NAFFEHNIMINKA BE NAFHATE KHAIRIN TUGHNINY BEHA AMMAN SIWAKA< O GIVER IN EXCESS GRANT ME A FRAGRANCE FROM YOU THAT MAKES ME UNMINDFUL OF ALL EXCEPT YOU>..
FKD JA-AKUMUL FATHU INNA FATAHNA LAKA FATHUN MUBIN. NSRRUMMINALLAHI WA FATHHUN KAREEB.<VERILY VICTORY FROM ALLAH IS NEAR>YAA GHANI YA MUGHNI ASH SHKOOR YA MUJEEB Y KAREEB
YA ALLAH THRU THE GOOD WORKS MAKE ME UNMINDFUL OF THE HARAM.
PROTECT ME LIKE YOU PROTECTEDTHE QURAN
AND HELP ME LIKE YOU HELPED THE PROPHETS .VERILY YOU ARE ABLE TO DO ALL THINGS

PLESE SOME ONE IMPROVE ON MY TRANSLATION ND TRANSLIERATION. ALLAH HAFIZ.

 

[AZAM_SIDDIQUI]

http://www.godnames.org/index.php

 

[lostlilly07]

Salaams,

I am a revert that is beginning to really feel the change Islam has made to my life, good and bad.

Where i work i have a group of friends i am growing distant from. All they talk about is drinking and Christmas. I wonder if they do it deliberately? I feel so excluded from conversation. At the same time i know i will never change my decision to revert or weaken my faith because i feel lonely.

I miss feeling like part of a group and interacting with people. I really wish i could find some muslims to hang out with

I know how you feel sis, ever since i started getting stronger in my deen, i have been growing distant from friends, that is reason I spend so much time on line; however, i tried to keep my head up, not cried so much and insha'allah you make some friends soon. where do you live

 

[kamranasif2004]

the star wont shine if the sky is'nt black

dear sister,

remember once somebody says to Allah that Allah i believe in you and i love you then Allah make him stand out in the crowd and in doing so Allah teaches him how to endure pain and be patient when the going gets tough but remember coal does'nt becomes a diamond until and unless it goes through the heat of the furnance

when Allah loves someone he intends to make him a star shining like a diamond but remember the star only looks prominent when the sky is all black

now it is our choice if we want to be the part of darkness or if we want to be prominent like a star in sight of Allah subhana-o-tala

being alone in this world is only a matter of some time but being alone in hereafter is like forever

 

[Angela Hillyer]

Salam Sister Rosheen,

I am not a revert but I totally feel what you are going through. Living in Australia, the Uni I attend is obviously not Muslim or Islamic based. So I do not have many friends, or any at all rather. I am such a loner as well! As soon as I get involved in a conversation, they start talking about drinking, partying, clubbing etc, I immediately feel dislocated.

Well I guess all those people will be the lonely ones in that life.

You are on the other end of the world sister, otherwise I would have tracked down somehow so that we both could come out of this dilemma. Lol

Anywayz sis take care!

Wasalaam

Salam alaikom sis

I to live in Australia. What state do you live in???

Wa Salam

 

[Angela Hillyer]

Salaams,

I am a revert that is beginning to really feel the change Islam has made to my life, good and bad.

Where i work i have a group of friends i am growing distant from. All they talk about is drinking and Christmas. I wonder if they do it deliberately? I feel so excluded from conversation. At the same time i know i will never change my decision to revert or weaken my faith because i feel lonely.

I miss feeling like part of a group and interacting with people. I really wish i could find some muslims to hang out with

Salam Alaikom sis

I know exaclty how u feel, I am also a new muslim and it has made a HUGE change in my life... I have grown distant from all my friends.. Alhamdulilah for that. Except for one but she is muslim. I always feel lonely with no one to talk to expecially at home because my family hates me being muslim and gives me the hardest time so i spend most of my time in my room, reading or crying!!

But insha'allah it will get better for you, just hang in there sis. Insha'allah you will find some muslim friends that will help you. May Allah bless us all.

Wasalam

 

[Alex87]

Salam alaikom sis

I to live in Australia. What state do you live in???

Wa Salam

I'm in Aus too!
In N.S.W....I don't know any other Australian Muslims but would love too. My friends are mainly Christian or athiest so I just don't talk about it. It can be pretty hard because I'm still learning but I'll get there eventually.

 

[nyerekareem]

:salam2:

just remember that you are trying to live a life on the path to paradise and they are living a life with a path leading to hellfire. i've become quite distant myself, not because they aren't muslims, but i never realized how many haram things that i've said and done with them.