love and marriage

Mairo

Mairo

Maryama
Aapa said:
Assalaam walaikum,

Why Sister, would you say that I sugarcoat faith?

Is it not written salat and sabr. All those experiences, the heartaches, those times when comforting arms were nowhere to be found, what did the songwriter say " searching for a heart of gold and I'm growing old".
I never said it was easy. Nor is it easy at this particular moment. But it is still beautiful.

And with absolute certainty you make dua with each passing second...subtly..almost unaware..love knocks on the door. The heart of gold. The one.

The Believing brother, the confident slave of Allah, the righteous and correct one...well I say it has been worth every second of the wait, with all the roller coaster experiences we call life, its been worth every up and every down

So..allow the innocent sister the pleasure of seeking rainbows in the sunshine...why I'll even throw in a lollipop with a bubble gum center.
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Assalamu alaikum dear sister, so very true. And just imagine what might eventually await in Jannah . . . although we are given some descriptions to look forward to, I really cannot begin to imagine.
 
P

Precious Star

Junior Member
Aapa said:
Assalaam walaikum,

Why Sister, would you say that I sugarcoat faith?

Is it not written salat and sabr. All those experiences, the heartaches, those times when comforting arms were nowhere to be found, what did the songwriter say " searching for a heart of gold and I'm growing old".
I never said it was easy. Nor is it easy at this particular moment. But it is still beautiful.

And with absolute certainty you make dua with each passing second...subtly..almost unaware..love knocks on the door. The heart of gold. The one.

The Believing brother, the confident slave of Allah, the righteous and correct one...well I say it has been worth every second of the wait, with all the roller coaster experiences we call life, its been worth every up and every down

So..allow the innocent sister the pleasure of seeking rainbows in the sunshine...why I'll even throw in a lollipop with a bubble gum center.
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"with absolute certainty", Aapa?

With absolute certainty, Allah does provide.
With absolute certainty, we will each get our just rewards in Jannah.

But please don't say that the answer to dua in this life is "yes". There is NO absolute certainty about that. It may have happened to you, but there are many souls out their who make us and try to lead a good, honest pious life and still their duas are answered by hardship.

There is no knight in shining armor for all the ladies. Life is not an episode of The Bachelorette. It is about making sure you stay employed and paying bills and finding a way to fix a flat ire when it is -20 degrees outside and driving your parents to the doctor and crying into your pillow rather than someone's shoulder etc etc. Ssometimes there is time to take a walk or buy flowers for your kitchen table. But really, after all of the above, you still have to read your 5 salaat and then go to bed!

The knight?? Please. No such thing.
 
A

Aapa

Mirajmom
Asalaam walaikum,

100%. Sister, 100%. You have to Believe.

How can you tell me it is not. It is. I just pinched myself to make sure. It is the hardship that makes it so much better. It is the total dependence on Allah.

And in the struggle of life..what a joy it is to be by your mothers side when she must see the doctor. When the water heater breaks in the middle of February and you take a cold shower..trust me..when you get that hot water going it is heaven. The best meals are the ones when you look in the cabinet and its a biscuit and gravy night. It is fun to count change and have just enough with a penny left over. That brings a smile to everyone in the vicinity's face. You learn to survive. You get stronger.

One cannot always make sure they stay employed. You do the best you can. Those dire times can make you connect with the Real. You know Who to turn to when you have $2.00 in your pocket and the check comes in the mail next week. Do you not know the number of sisters who have to go to a food bank. And if you only knew what they hand out.

And you Believe. You know that which Allah sends is the best. He Loves us.

In the wait you enjoy the blessings. In the wait you recite Alhumdullila for the gentle blessings.

And when love arrives ....100% Living Color...

It's an emphatic yes, Love listened and out of Love sent love to you...what else do you want?

Like for like..A Believing ma for a Believing woman...it has to make you see rainbows, sister
 
A

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam walaikum,


Mute point.

My Creator, My Provider, The Generous, The Substanier, The Responder, He is the one that gives to me..it has nothing to do with your government. It can come in the form of gold, silver, here's a good one: oil, and even the husband thing, but the source of it all is One.

So Believe, Sister, Believe. It is so True.

You will go home. That is love sister..home. InshaAllah.

May Allah grant you a husband sister. You have so many making dua for you.
May Allah grant you the love that you have been seeking. The love that has no limits. The love that is total trust. May Love send His Blessings upon you sister in the form of a husband.

Take Mercy upon yourself and ask Allah to send him to you swiftly. InshaAllah.

Sweet dreams, sister.
 
finding light

finding light

Ya Rab! Forgive me..
Asalamualaykum sweet sisters (as none of the Brothers seem to be getting too sentimental ike we are :p)

You are ALL correct. Sister Mario, we have to make the best of every situation. Every trial, every smile is from Allah. But it is easy for someone who is happily married (or has been) to say things from the outside. You have had a taste of your fairy tale. You are older and wiser yes, and the reality of life has hit you yes, it is also hitting us unmarried Sisters! We think life would be so much easier and comfortable with a partner.
Some married people think being single is better... So it is up to each situation.

but the MOST important thing to remember as mentioned before is prayer and patience. No matter what SUbhanallh ALLAh is with us and all that is good or what we perceive to be bad is from Allah.
Sister Precious Star, Aapa is right - all of us who know your story are making dua for you everyday. But remember, always remember that Allah grants for us what is best for us. So Inshallah let it be that marriage is best for you and Inshallah you will find your Prince.

HE DOES EXIST! even mine does... you married lot dont know what you are talking about! mpfff!
Happily ever after does exist because when we have strong faith in Allah, dont we say ALHAMDULILLAH for EVERYTHING???? think ladies... think.... Me wishing and dreaming and praying for my happily ever after :)
 
A

Abu Talib

Feeling low
Assalamu`alaykum I'd like to add this also

In today’s world, a lot of young people are afflicted by a serious illness that is even more deadly than any virus or bacteria. It is an illness that affects the heart and will cause its death, if not treated.

This illness is none other than love before marriage, and it is with great sadness that a lot of youth fail to realize that in reality there is no such thing as “true” love before marriage, yes, there might be crushes, infatuations and the likes, but true love? No.

Some people might argue and say, how can you make such a bold statement? To that I reply, love is what creates happiness not sorrow, love is what gives you a peace of mind not worry and anguish but most importantly, love is that which brings you closer to Allaah the Most High, not that which will push you further away from Him and acquire His wrath.

Yet there are a few brothers and sisters, who truly love Allaah, only to find their hearts crippled by this disease, they have apparently fallen in “love” with the opposite gender (before marriage) and can’t seem to stop thinking about them, they lose their appetite, their sleep and become neglectful of life as a whole.

These individuals sometimes regret falling in love and want a way out, they want a cure for this illness, but is there really a cure?

Listen to what Imaam Ibn al-Qayyim has to say:

“And the cure for this deadly illness (i.e. love before marriage) is for the person that is afflicted to realize that this love is only due to his/her own delusions and ignorance.

So upon such a person is to first and foremost strengthen their Tawheed and reliance upon Allaah, and secondly to increase in worship and busy themselves with it, so much so that they do not have any spare time letting their minds wander and think about their beloved.

And they should call upon Allaah to protect them and save them from this evil, just as Prophet Yusuf called upon Allaah and he was saved. And they should do as he did, be as he was, in terms of ikhlaas (sincerity) and remembering Allaah in abundance.

This is because if the heart is filled with ikhlaas for the sake of Allaah, there will be no space left for any unlawful love to be present, rather this only happens to a heart that is empty and has no ikhlaas whatsoever.

And let such people remind themselves that whatever Allaah has decreed for them is only in their own best interests, and when Allaah commands something it is never to cause harm or misery to His slaves.

And let them also remind themselves that their unlawful love does not benefit them, neither in this world or the hereafter! As for this world then they will be so preoccupied with their love that it will cripple them and will cause them to live in a fantasy world. And as for the hereafter then it will cause them to be preoccupied with the love of the creation instead of love for the Creator!

These people need to be reminded, that the one who is emerged in something will never see its ill effects, neither will the person who has never experienced such things. The only people who will be able to relate to them are those who have experienced the same thing but have been saved. Such people can look back and realize how evil it is.”

[ad-Daa' wa ad-Dawaa p. 300]
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faaraa

faaraa

Nothing but Muslimah
These are of the issues , which should be talked alot world wide among the Ummah..
But people rarely talk this and never had I ever listen to any Khutba which talks about the feeling of love with what many youth find conflicts. Subhanallah...
I hope in future there might come many shaikhs who throw further more light on this issue Insha Allah
Jazakallah Khair for sharing this wonderful Q&A
 
Mairo

Mairo

Maryama
Aapa said:
Asalaam walaikum,

100%. Sister, 100%. You have to Believe.

How can you tell me it is not. It is. I just pinched myself to make sure. It is the hardship that makes it so much better. It is the total dependence on Allah.

And in the struggle of life..what a joy it is to be by your mothers side when she must see the doctor. When the water heater breaks in the middle of February and you take a cold shower..trust me..when you get that hot water going it is heaven. The best meals are the ones when you look in the cabinet and its a biscuit and gravy night. It is fun to count change and have just enough with a penny left over. That brings a smile to everyone in the vicinity's face. You learn to survive. You get stronger.

One cannot always make sure they stay employed. You do the best you can. Those dire times can make you connect with the Real. You know Who to turn to when you have $2.00 in your pocket and the check comes in the mail next week. Do you not know the number of sisters who have to go to a food bank. And if you only knew what they hand out.

And you Believe. You know that which Allah sends is the best. He Loves us.

In the wait you enjoy the blessings. In the wait you recite Alhumdullila for the gentle blessings.

And when love arrives ....100% Living Color...

It's an emphatic yes, Love listened and out of Love sent love to you...what else do you want?

Like for like..A Believing ma for a Believing woman...it has to make you see rainbows, sister
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MashaAllah, so beautiful, so true. Love you Aapa. So glad there are people like you in the world.
 
helpinghumanity

helpinghumanity

Junior Member
finding light said:
Asalamualaykum sweet sisters (as none of the Brothers seem to be getting too sentimental ike we are :p)
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Assalamo alaikum wa rahmatullah

Mashallah various fatwas have been presented which has addressed the issue. So I am not going to put any fatwa here. Rather I will be sharing a small video which was recorded at the University of Utah and the subject of the video was "Why Men and Women Can't be friends"

I ask you to please analyze the answers in-dept.

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_lh5fR4DMA[/ame]
 
elqouds2020

elqouds2020

Junior Member
Mairo said:
"What is more stable in Islam, a love marriage or an arranged marriage?"


Praise be to Allaah.

The issue of this marriage depends on the ruling on what came before it. If the love between the two parties did not transgress the limits set by Allaah or make them commit sin, then there is the hope that the marriage which results from this love will be more stable, because it came about as the result of the fact that each of them wanted to marry the other.

If a man feels some attraction towards a woman whom it is permissible for him to marry her, and vice versa, there is no answer to the problem except marriage. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “We do not think that there is anything better for those who love one another than marriage.” (Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 1847; classed as saheeh by al-Busayri and by Shaykh al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 624)

Al-Sindi said, as noted in Haamish Sunan Ibn Maajah:

The phrase “We do not think that there is anything better for those who love one another than marriage” may be understood to refer to two or to more than two. What this means is that if there is love between two people, that love cannot be increased or made to last longer by anything like marriage. If there is marriage as well as that love, that love will increase and grow stronger every day.”

But if that marriage comes about as a result of an illicit love relationship, such as when they meet and are alone together and kiss one another, and other haraam actions, then it will never be stable, because they committed actions that go against sharee’ah and because they have built their lives on things that will have the effect of reducing blessings and support from Allaah, for sin is a major factor in reducing blessings, even though some people think, because of the Shaytaan’s whispers, that falling in love and doing haraam deeds makes marriage stronger.

Moreover, these illicit relationships that take place before marriage will be a cause to make each party doubtful about the other. The husband will think that his wife may possibly have a similar relationship with someone else, and even if he thinks it unlikely, he will still be troubled by the fact that his wife did do something wrong with him. And the same thoughts may occur to the wife too, and she will think that her husband could possibly have an affair with another woman, and even if she thinks it unlikely, she will still be troubled by the fact that her husband did something wrong with her.

So each partner will live in a state of doubt and suspicion, which will ruin their relationship sooner or later.

The husband may condemn his wife for having agreed to have a relationship with him before marriage, which will be upsetting for her, and this will cause their relationship to deteriorate.

Hence we think that if a marriage is based upon an illicit premarital relationship, it will most likely be unstable and will not be successful.

With regard to arranged marriages where the family chooses the partner, they are not all good and not all bad. If the family makes a good choice and the woman is religious and beautiful, and the husband likes her and wants to marry her, then there is the hope that their marriage will be stable and successful. Hence the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) urged the one who wants to get married to look at the woman. It was narrated from al-Mugheerah ibn Shu’bah that he proposed marriage to a woman, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “Go and look at her, because that is more likely to create love between you.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1087; classed as hasan by al-Nasaa’i, 3235)

But if the family make a bad choice, or they make a good choice but the husband does not agree with it, then this marriage is most likely doomed to failure and instability, because the marriage that is based on lack of interest usually is not stable.

And Allaah knows best.


Islam Q&A


http://islamqa.info/en/ref/23420
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essallamou allaikoum I believe that love in marriage is the great God mercifully giving love between a woman and marries mawada wa el el rahma
 
helpinghumanity

helpinghumanity

Junior Member
Precious Star said:
"Life is what you make it"

Are you serious? What does that mean? You are given circumstnaces x, y and z. And you are stuck with those circumstances. Yes, you can make something of them, but if those circumstances do not include Prince Charming then you can't make him materialize.

If you are menopausal, you can't have babies.

If you do not meet men, you do not get married.

Please. Let's not sugar coat everything. Life is tough. A lot of young men and women want the sun, moon and stars, but they don't realize that they are not attainable.
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Assalamo alaikum wa rahmatullah

Things aren’t always as they seem.
Umm Musa was told to throw her son in the river, Yusuf was left for dead in a well, Maryam delivered a child alone, Ayesha was accused of a terrible sin, Yunus was swallowed by a whale, Ibrahim was thrown in the fire, Muhammad lost the love of his life Khadijah, and Umm Salamah thought no one could be better than Abu Salamah. (Peace be upon them). Yet look at how it turned out for them in the end… So, don’t worry, Allah has a plan for you.
 
finding light

finding light

Ya Rab! Forgive me..
helpinghumanity said:
Assalamo alaikum wa rahmatullah

Things aren’t always as they seem.
Umm Musa was told to throw her son in the river, Yusuf was left for dead in a well, Maryam delivered a child alone, Ayesha was accused of a terrible sin, Yunus was swallowed by a whale, Ibrahim was thrown in the fire, Muhammad lost the love of his life Khadijah, and Umm Salamah thought no one could be better than Abu Salamah. (Peace be upon them). Yet look at how it turned out for them in the end… So, don’t worry, Allah has a plan for you.
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:salam2:
FIVE STAR ANSWER BROTHER!
 
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