Globalpeace
Banned
Asslamo Allaikum Brother Raed,
I read your post and then went for run; but the watch wasn’t working correctly so the issue about your marriage, jogging and pace got all mixed up resulting in this blog!
Now I know that most of my stuff is pretty confused; but this is a new low!
In my humble and unqualified opinion, marriage is like running with a partner. Sure you can run alone but you always need another person so you won’t get bored along the way & that is precisely why Allah (SWT) has created woman as a partner (comfort) for us.
Choosing a Partner:
The first issue is obviously selecting a partner for jogging. Now the most important point is that they should have the right gear i.e. shoes, clothes etc and in terms of marriage you can say that you must choose a partner who follows Islam externally (i.e. that they have a bread or in case of women wear Hijab etc.)
But then people make the FATAL mistake! They judge a person on their external qualities ONLY and don’t take their fitness to run with you into account. Just because someone has the right shoes and clothes don’t mean that they can run WITH YOU; they may actually end up ruining your run!
Similarly just because someone has a bread or in case of women wear Hijab DOES NOT mean that this person is right for you! You have got to evaluate this person, their likes, dislikes, habits and everything to ensure that they are compatible for you! Just because someone has the right Islamic external qualities don’t mean that they can live WITH YOU; they many actually end up ruining your life!
Beginning of the run:
Running in the beginning is easy! You have just started, not tired and you talk & stuff!
Being with a partner in marriage in the beginning is easy! You are in a honeymoon period and nothing can possible go wrong! You are in Love!
Middle of the run:
Now one of you begins to get tired and lags behind and the other MUST slow down and set the pace properly, otherwise your run will fail! This is the learning phase i.e. you learn about your partner.
This is where MOST marriages fail! Honeymoon is now over; both of you now know each other’s bad and annoying habits and both should now learn to compensate, you now know each other’s limitations and MUST learn to speed up or slow down…Men and women who don’t compromise FAIL! Men should set the pace but be gentle and take the condition of the woman in consideration…MEN MUST learn to slow down or speed up (i.e. they MUST learn to sacrifice and compromise) and the women should too! This is the learning phase i.e. you learn about your partner but this is MAKE or BREAK of a marriage!
End of the run:
If you have adjusted your pace in the middle to your partner then in this pace you notice that not only the pace but the stride of partners also matches and run concludes easily…Sure you are tired but you actually enjoy it!
In marriage if you and the partner have both learned to comprise then by now you know each other’s good and bad habits and you learn to deal with things in life and you enjoy it together…If you haven’t spent the time learning about your partner and if your marriage is still alive it will either fail OR you will stay married but will be miserable!
In the end I advise you of the following:
• Learn to think WITHOUT emotions and evaluate this Sister dispassionately. If you think you need to FAST for a few days to get your emotions under control then do it!
• I suggest that you contact Dr Bilal Phillips in UAE & ask his organisation to assist you in finding a wife! (http://www.bilalphilips.com/index.php)
• I also suggest you contact other Islamic organisations in UAE & ask for help.
Jazakullah Khairun
I read your post and then went for run; but the watch wasn’t working correctly so the issue about your marriage, jogging and pace got all mixed up resulting in this blog!
Now I know that most of my stuff is pretty confused; but this is a new low!
In my humble and unqualified opinion, marriage is like running with a partner. Sure you can run alone but you always need another person so you won’t get bored along the way & that is precisely why Allah (SWT) has created woman as a partner (comfort) for us.
Choosing a Partner:
The first issue is obviously selecting a partner for jogging. Now the most important point is that they should have the right gear i.e. shoes, clothes etc and in terms of marriage you can say that you must choose a partner who follows Islam externally (i.e. that they have a bread or in case of women wear Hijab etc.)
But then people make the FATAL mistake! They judge a person on their external qualities ONLY and don’t take their fitness to run with you into account. Just because someone has the right shoes and clothes don’t mean that they can run WITH YOU; they may actually end up ruining your run!
Similarly just because someone has a bread or in case of women wear Hijab DOES NOT mean that this person is right for you! You have got to evaluate this person, their likes, dislikes, habits and everything to ensure that they are compatible for you! Just because someone has the right Islamic external qualities don’t mean that they can live WITH YOU; they many actually end up ruining your life!
Beginning of the run:
Running in the beginning is easy! You have just started, not tired and you talk & stuff!
Being with a partner in marriage in the beginning is easy! You are in a honeymoon period and nothing can possible go wrong! You are in Love!
Middle of the run:
Now one of you begins to get tired and lags behind and the other MUST slow down and set the pace properly, otherwise your run will fail! This is the learning phase i.e. you learn about your partner.
This is where MOST marriages fail! Honeymoon is now over; both of you now know each other’s bad and annoying habits and both should now learn to compensate, you now know each other’s limitations and MUST learn to speed up or slow down…Men and women who don’t compromise FAIL! Men should set the pace but be gentle and take the condition of the woman in consideration…MEN MUST learn to slow down or speed up (i.e. they MUST learn to sacrifice and compromise) and the women should too! This is the learning phase i.e. you learn about your partner but this is MAKE or BREAK of a marriage!
End of the run:
If you have adjusted your pace in the middle to your partner then in this pace you notice that not only the pace but the stride of partners also matches and run concludes easily…Sure you are tired but you actually enjoy it!
In marriage if you and the partner have both learned to comprise then by now you know each other’s good and bad habits and you learn to deal with things in life and you enjoy it together…If you haven’t spent the time learning about your partner and if your marriage is still alive it will either fail OR you will stay married but will be miserable!
In the end I advise you of the following:
• Learn to think WITHOUT emotions and evaluate this Sister dispassionately. If you think you need to FAST for a few days to get your emotions under control then do it!
• I suggest that you contact Dr Bilal Phillips in UAE & ask his organisation to assist you in finding a wife! (http://www.bilalphilips.com/index.php)
• I also suggest you contact other Islamic organisations in UAE & ask for help.
Jazakullah Khairun
