If a Father Refuses to Give His Daughters in Marriage to Suitable Men
Question
We are a group of girls who are sisters and we live in one house, and frequently suitors for our hands from among the religious young men have been rejected; and our father is suffering from mental illness. May the Judge in this situation take charge of the marriage contracts for us?
Answer
Yes, if the guardian refuses to give a woman in marriage to a man who is
suitable in his religion and his character. This is because guardianship passes to the one who comes after him among the paternal family members, the one with the greatest right, then the next one. And if they refused to give them in marriage, as most often happens, then the guardianship passes to the legal Judge and he gives the woman in marriage, and if the matter reaches him and he knows that her guardians have refused to give her in marriage, he must give her in marriage, because he has a general guardianship, as long as no particular guardianship is present.
The scholars of Islamic Jurisprudence (Fiqh) – may Allah have mery on them – have mentioned that if the guardian repeatedly refuses appropriate suitors, he will be considered a sinner due to this, and his fairness will be lost, as well his right to guardianship. Indeed, it is recognised in the Madhab of Imam Ahmad that his right to be an Imam will be lost, and so he may not lead the Muslims in congregational prayer and this is a very serious matter.
Some people – as we have indicated earlier – refuse appropriate suitors for those over whom Allah has granted them guardianship but the girl may be shy to approach a judge in order to request that he give her in marriage – and this situation exists at present – but she must compare between those things which promote good and those things which cause evil’ which is the greater cause of evil. To remain without a husband and for this guardian to arbitrarily exercise control over her according to his mood and his whim, then when she grows older and few propose to her, he gives her in marriage (to whom he wills), or to approach the Judge, with the request that he give her in marriage, especially since this is her legal right?
There is no doubt that the second choice – which is that she approach the Judge and request that he give her in marriage – is preferable, because this is her right and because in approaching the Judge and the Judge’s giving her in marriage there is a benefit for other girls too, because they will step forward as she has done, and because by approaching the Judge, she serves as a deterrent to those wrongdoers who commit injustice against those whom Allah has placed under their guardianship, by refusing to give them in marriage to appropriate suitors. That is to say, there are three benefits in this:
- A benefit to the woman, so that she does not remain unmarried.
- A benefit to others, if she opens up the door for women who are waiting for someone to make the approach so that they may follow her.
- Holding in check those unjust guardians who exercise control arbitrary over their daughters or those women over whom Allah has made them guardians.
Another benefit therein is the implementation of the order of the
Messenger of Allah , who said:
“If one whose religion and character pleases you proposes to you, then marry (your daughter to) him. If you do not do so, it will be a cause of trial (Fitnah and greater corruption) in the land.”
(At-Tirmidhi no. 1084)
There is one other particular benefit, which is the fulfilment of the desires of those suitors who propose to women and who are suitable with regard to their religion and character.
Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (rahimahullaah)
Question
We are a group of girls who are sisters and we live in one house, and frequently suitors for our hands from among the religious young men have been rejected; and our father is suffering from mental illness. May the Judge in this situation take charge of the marriage contracts for us?
Answer
Yes, if the guardian refuses to give a woman in marriage to a man who is
suitable in his religion and his character. This is because guardianship passes to the one who comes after him among the paternal family members, the one with the greatest right, then the next one. And if they refused to give them in marriage, as most often happens, then the guardianship passes to the legal Judge and he gives the woman in marriage, and if the matter reaches him and he knows that her guardians have refused to give her in marriage, he must give her in marriage, because he has a general guardianship, as long as no particular guardianship is present.
The scholars of Islamic Jurisprudence (Fiqh) – may Allah have mery on them – have mentioned that if the guardian repeatedly refuses appropriate suitors, he will be considered a sinner due to this, and his fairness will be lost, as well his right to guardianship. Indeed, it is recognised in the Madhab of Imam Ahmad that his right to be an Imam will be lost, and so he may not lead the Muslims in congregational prayer and this is a very serious matter.
Some people – as we have indicated earlier – refuse appropriate suitors for those over whom Allah has granted them guardianship but the girl may be shy to approach a judge in order to request that he give her in marriage – and this situation exists at present – but she must compare between those things which promote good and those things which cause evil’ which is the greater cause of evil. To remain without a husband and for this guardian to arbitrarily exercise control over her according to his mood and his whim, then when she grows older and few propose to her, he gives her in marriage (to whom he wills), or to approach the Judge, with the request that he give her in marriage, especially since this is her legal right?
There is no doubt that the second choice – which is that she approach the Judge and request that he give her in marriage – is preferable, because this is her right and because in approaching the Judge and the Judge’s giving her in marriage there is a benefit for other girls too, because they will step forward as she has done, and because by approaching the Judge, she serves as a deterrent to those wrongdoers who commit injustice against those whom Allah has placed under their guardianship, by refusing to give them in marriage to appropriate suitors. That is to say, there are three benefits in this:
- A benefit to the woman, so that she does not remain unmarried.
- A benefit to others, if she opens up the door for women who are waiting for someone to make the approach so that they may follow her.
- Holding in check those unjust guardians who exercise control arbitrary over their daughters or those women over whom Allah has made them guardians.
Another benefit therein is the implementation of the order of the
Messenger of Allah , who said:
“If one whose religion and character pleases you proposes to you, then marry (your daughter to) him. If you do not do so, it will be a cause of trial (Fitnah and greater corruption) in the land.”
(At-Tirmidhi no. 1084)
There is one other particular benefit, which is the fulfilment of the desires of those suitors who propose to women and who are suitable with regard to their religion and character.
Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (rahimahullaah)