mental breakdown :'(

[EeNnA]

Asalamu aleykum guys

I'm in my early 20s n in my last year university. I feel absolutely Messed up.
I'm suicidal, I'm not praying, I can't wake up for uni, work or anything. I sleep n wen I'm not sleeping I'm not doin anything productive. I don't kno why I'm such a bad muslim. I had a good upbringing. I never learnt to pray salah regularly n never bin able to establish this. I'm too lazy n if I pray maghrib one day dhur n isha the next. Hardly ever all the 5 prayers.

I've bin good a few times where I seek knowedge n learn ducas n quran but I always fall back. I hate myself for this n it discusts me. But nothing in life motivates me atm. Jus had a massive row with my mum abt coming home late. She said I act like a *removed*. Made me feel *removed* up. I feel guilty n promised I won't do it again. I feel unclean n do ask for forgiveness and help in establishing my religion when I happen to pray. I just wana be good but I feel *removed* and jus wana die sometimes. Don't wana end up in hell but if this is what I have to look forward to. Ahh plz help I really need support.

Don't judge me I know I am bad but I try be good I feel like a hypocrit. I don't know anyone I can talk to who will guide me to the right way none of my friends r religos n will tell me to go out with them n party or do drugs. Thanx n sorry for the essay

 

[OsMaN_93]

salam alikom,

Welcome to the site, we are always here to help you dear sister.

I understand the hardship and stress you're going through and can relate to it. This is happening to you because Allah loves you, yes you heard me. We humans are naturally weak, and in times of hardship we need help, we need someone to talk to - we need our creator. Allah is helping you get closer to him by making you realise that you do need him in your life. This is just a test, be patient and trust in Allah - go pray and make dua; Allah is waiting for his beloved servant to humbly return back to him, cry and ask him to accept and forgive you.

Hardship makes your faith and hope in Allah stronger, as you get closer to him.

Apologise to your mother and get better friends. You don't need drugs - prayer will make you happy, and the closeness to Allah will be your euphoria.

Wasalam alikom

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

Welcome home...you have done the hardest part...welcome home.

 

[Janaan]

"Know that your Lord has tested before,
In times of strife and in times of demise.
For indeed He tests those Who He truly loves,
It is a mercy in a different disguise."

I just viewed a peom made by a brother on here, and that was a portion of it... Please reflect, ukht.

Also, I'd like to really read this hadeeth, It's a Qudsi-

On the authority of Anas (may Allah be pleased with him), who said: I heard the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) say:

"Allah the Almighty said:

'O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as it.'"

Subhaanallaah..! Turn to Allaah, The Merciful! He's never far away...Always there when a servant is in need..Always waiting.. Yet, they refuse acknolwgde His presence[Astaghfirullaah!].

This life, as we all know, is naught but a short time, a 'journey' as they say, the 'resting place' before our destination; Hereafter. And sure'nuff, it has its ups and downs.. and You're at one of your low moments. Wallaahi, this is nothing compared to what the ones before us have been through.

You have it good, sister- A mother who's willing to tell you straight up when you need to 'fix' yourself up. You have Shelter. You have clothing and food! What else does one need? So, say Alhamdulillaah, sister, before it's all taken away from you!

To be honest- Friends come and go.. You'll meet people at one point in your life, and you may never see them again! And as you've already said, the friends you have now are nothing but a bad influence. So if you can, try to find better friends(as the brother up there mentioned). If you can't, Alhamdulillaah, you don't need them! Besides Allaah, you have your family and they're all you'll ever need Insha'Allaah!

And stick around this time, ukht(I saw you joined in '07).. I'm sure you'll benefit from this community! There's so much to learn and whenever one needs, they get support from the members- Bless them all!

So yeah, chin up, and get back onto your feet Inshaa'Allaah! It's never too late.=)

PS. Try to guard your tongue, too, please! uhm, like change the 'effings' to Alhamdulillaah's and Subhaanallah's.. It'll do you loads of good, I promise!

Salaam `alaik warahmatullaah!

 

[Sakeena]

asalam alaikum sweeto. It's Sakydeen.

Welcome home my dear sister. Come here, *walks over, picks up off floor, hugs her*

My dear, subhanallah, in a way, I know how you feel. I'll make duaa for you and will tell my Muslim sisters to make duaa for you as well.

:tti_sister:



HUGE HUUUG!!

 

[saifkhan]

Asalamu aleykum guys

I'm in my early 20s n in my last year university. I feel absolutely Messed up.
I'm suicidal, I'm not praying, I can't wake up for uni, work or anything. I sleep n wen I'm not sleeping I'm not doin anything productive. I don't kno why I'm such a bad muslim. I had a good upbringing. I never learnt to pray salah regularly n never bin able to establish this. I'm too lazy n if I pray maghrib one day dhur n isha the next. Hardly ever all the 5 prayers.

I've bin good a few times where I seek knowedge n learn ducas n quran but I always fall back. I hate myself for this n it discusts me. But nothing in life motivates me atm. Jus had a massive row with my mum abt coming home late. She said I act like a *removed*. Made me feel *removed* up. I feel guilty n promised I won't do it again. I feel unclean n do ask for forgiveness and help in establishing my religion when I happen to pray. I just wana be good but I feel *removed* and jus wana die sometimes. Don't wana end up in hell but if this is what I have to look forward to. Ahh plz help I really need support.

Don't judge me I know I am bad but I try be good I feel like a hypocrit. I don't know anyone I can talk to who will guide me to the right way none of my friends r religos n will tell me to go out with them n party or do drugs. Thanx n sorry for the essay

as salam 'alaykum

may Allah help you,
It is good that you have the feeling and remorse in your heart.

i hope it will help you insha Allah

[yt]3fDn-iNPgbs[/yt]

the sins can be forgiven only by repenting and with good deeds.
and only Allah can forgive our sins, it is the work of shaytan who keeps us away from Allah and doesn't even allow to get back, because by doing sins, our heart gets hard

may Allah help us to strive hard

wa-llahu a'lam
wassalam

 

[Hajjerr]

Asalamu aleykum guys

I'm in my early 20s n in my last year university. I feel absolutely Messed up.
I'm suicidal, I'm not praying, I can't wake up for uni, work or anything. I sleep n wen I'm not sleeping I'm not doin anything productive. I don't kno why I'm such a bad muslim. I had a good upbringing. I never learnt to pray salah regularly n never bin able to establish this. I'm too lazy n if I pray maghrib one day dhur n isha the next. Hardly ever all the 5 prayers.

I've bin good a few times where I seek knowedge n learn ducas n quran but I always fall back. I hate myself for this n it discusts me. But nothing in life motivates me atm. Jus had a massive row with my mum abt coming home late. She said I act like a *removed*. Made me feel *removed* up. I feel guilty n promised I won't do it again. I feel unclean n do ask for forgiveness and help in establishing my religion when I happen to pray. I just wana be good but I feel *removed* and jus wana die sometimes. Don't wana end up in hell but if this is what I have to look forward to. Ahh plz help I really need support.

Don't judge me I know I am bad but I try be good I feel like a hypocrit. I don't know anyone I can talk to who will guide me to the right way none of my friends r religos n will tell me to go out with them n party or do drugs. Thanx n sorry for the essay

salam aleikum wa rahmatulahy wa barakatuh,

Dear sister, we are all here for you.
Please belive me, our lifes are not full of sunshine either..but we try and with the help of Allah swt, we can make it, inchallah.
Anyway, i think it is better you start make a distance between those friends of yours if they dont want to change, it is better to be isolated then in a bad company that will drag you down with them.

Take time and read, learn islam as it is, the simple, clear truth. Listen to some lectures, read the meanings of Quran, it is beautifull.
After hardship will come ease, inchallah.
We wait news from you, inchallah:salam2:

 

[kashif_nazeer]

Asalamu aleykum guys

I'm in my early 20s n in my last year university. I feel absolutely Messed up.
I'm suicidal, I'm not praying, I can't wake up for uni, work or anything. I sleep n wen I'm not sleeping I'm not doin anything productive. I don't kno why I'm such a bad muslim. I had a good upbringing. I never learnt to pray salah regularly n never bin able to establish this. I'm too lazy n if I pray maghrib one day dhur n isha the next. Hardly ever all the 5 prayers.

I've bin good a few times where I seek knowedge n learn ducas n quran but I always fall back. I hate myself for this n it discusts me. But nothing in life motivates me atm. Jus had a massive row with my mum abt coming home late. She said I act like a *removed*. Made me feel *removed* up. I feel guilty n promised I won't do it again. I feel unclean n do ask for forgiveness and help in establishing my religion when I happen to pray. I just wana be good but I feel *removed* and jus wana die sometimes. Don't wana end up in hell but if this is what I have to look forward to. Ahh plz help I really need support.

Don't judge me I know I am bad but I try be good I feel like a hypocrit. I don't know anyone I can talk to who will guide me to the right way none of my friends r religos n will tell me to go out with them n party or do drugs. Thanx n sorry for the essay

Wa alaikumassalam warahmatullah,
Welcome to TTI.InshaAllah,hope you will benefit from it.
Ukhti Karim,it is shaytaan(satan).All this misery,hopelessness,feeling of despair is from shaytaan.He is miserable and wants us to feel the same way.The first step is to diagnose and acknowledge once fault,which mashaallah has been done.

Secondly I would advise you not to lose hope,never to lose hope in Allah's mercy and despair,as only disbelievers do,it,just like shaytaan did it.
Allah commands us in the Qur'an in the interpretation of meaning:

So do not weaken and do not grieve, and you will be superior if you are [true] believers.[3:139]

Also
O my sons, go and find out about Joseph and his brother and despair not of relief from Allah . Indeed, no one despairs of relief from Allah except the disbelieving people."[12:87]

He said, "And who despairs of the mercy of his Lord except for those astray?"[15:56]

And the ones who disbelieve in the signs of Allah and the meeting with Him - those have despaired of My mercy, and they will have a painful punishment.[29:23]

O you who have believed, do not make allies of a people with whom Allah has become angry. They have despaired of [reward in] the Hereafter just as the disbelievers have despaired of [meeting] the inhabitants of the graves.[60:13]

Say, "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful."[39:53]

So never despair of Allah's mercy and never lose hope in Him.
Life is to short to be sad,depressed,worried and anguished over.It's too short to be wasted in worrying.
All this negativity is from shaytaan the accursed one walyadhubillah.





Now,Allah gives us the way to over come this negativity,first of all whenever such a thought comes to your mind,be conscious that it's shaytan trying to play with your mind and seek refuge in Allah as it says in Qur'an[interpretation of meaning]:

And if there comes to you from Satan an evil suggestion, then seek refuge in Allah . Indeed, He is the Hearing, the Knowing.[41:36]

Also remember the good and evil are not equal so repel evil with good,while being patient, as Allah commands us in the Qur'an[in the interpretation of meaning]:

And not equal are the good deed and the bad. Repel [evil] by that [deed] which is better; and thereupon the one whom between you and him is enmity [will become] as though he was a devoted friend.
But none is granted it except those who are patient, and none is granted it except one having a great portion [of good].[41:34-35]

Also,
Those will be given their reward twice for what they patiently endured and [because] they avert evil through good, and from what We have provided them they spend.[28:54]

and

And those who are patient, seeking the countenance of their Lord, and establish prayer and spend from what We have provided for them secretly and publicly and prevent evil with good - those will have the good consequence of [this] home -[13:22]

So try to repel good with evil and bear with patience,since every event of our lives is a test,we are tested with good times and bad.In times of hardship a believer is patient and in good times he is grateful.So in this test,bear with patience.
Allah says in the Qur'an[in the interpretation of meaning]:

O you who have believed, seek help through patience and prayer. Indeed, Allah is with the patient.[2:153]

Also fear Allah much,as it says in the interpretation of the meaning of Qur'an in Suratul Baqarah:

.... And fear Allah and know that Allah is with those who fear Him.[2:194]

Also hold onto Qur'an and call upon Allah,cry your worries to Allah,may He replace your hardship with ease.Ameen.

And if Allah should touch you with adversity, there is no remover of it except Him. And if He touches you with good - then He is over all things competent.[6:17]

Hold onto Qur'an and Sunnah and remember Allah much,

...Unquestionably, by the remembrance of Allah hearts are assured."[13:28]

Be brave and from now on be determined to utilise all the abilities you possess. Be successful. Replace the frown on your face with a smile, depression with cheerfulness, miserliness with generosity, and anger with perseverance. Turn your calamities into occasions of joy and your faith into a weapon!

May Allah keep us all steadfast and give us a good end.Ameen.

 

[MuslimShadow]

assalamu alikum sister,

i think i went through this phase too.but overcame it by reading the quran.
there are lot of muslims who don't even establish salah.( like some of my relatives).your intentions are more dearer to ALLAH than your deeds.He knows everything.

salah gives me the peace of my mind and channels my thoughts to right direction.therefore i never leave it.

figure out why u should offer salah,read articles on benefits of salah etc.it will help.

if u keep losing your track, it doesn't matter.as long as you are trying it's good for you & seriously bad for shaitan.

 

[hana*]

try not to be too hard on yourself, we all make mistakes and we all sin and Allah is always ready to forgive us if we are sincere.
the best advice i can offer is to try please your parents as much as you can, Allah accepts the parents dua for their child. i guarantee you that if you please them, you will be successful in life.

 

[Hatty]

Salaam sister.

I think you are doing well and you are a good person. By writing this post and admitting that you want to better yourself and leave your old life behind is indicative of your good nature. And that you want to lead a better life and be closer to

Think of your prayer/Salat as having a personal appointment/meeting with Allah. this time is between you and Him. Say to yourself that it is time now to go and praise Allah and be thankful to Him. I know it feels hard. I feel that too. I am sure we would make more effort if we were to meet our boss or teacher at school. we would dress nicely, try to speak politely etc....

May Allah make it easy for you sister and bless you - ameen.

 

[serena77]

salaams sister
I've been in a dark place like that and i was at the uni when it happened.. i'm sure you can overcome it..it won't be easy, meds may be needed to help especially at the beginning..

there is nothing wrong w/ asking for help... if you really can't remember to do salat for what ever reason then may be try each day adding another prayer time. hopefully by the end of a week or two... your problem will be past you.

May Allah guide you through this, may you reach out to him and allow him to help you dear sister.
know people here are here for you and your not alone even when you think you are... remember all the brothers and sisters here.
Serena

 

[strive-may-i]

The imaan in you wants fresh air... Welcome!

Don't judge me I know I am bad but I try be good I feel like a hypocrit. I don't know anyone I can talk to who will guide me to the right way none of my friends r religos n will tell me to go out with them n party or do drugs. Thanx n sorry for the essay

Firstly its not an essay, its a true struggle that you are going through, you will come out victorious... Insha Allah, provided you stop listening to the whisperings of evil. We mortals are not here to judge, we are here to be judged by Almighty. This forum is full of people who are striving to better themselves, by helping each other out.... Welcome here...
"Shaitan threatens you with poverty and enjoins you to be niggardly, and Allah promises you forgiveness from Himself and abundance; and Allah is Ample-giving, Knowing.[Quran 2:268]"
"And let there be [arising] from you a nation inviting to [all that is] good, enjoining what is right and forbidding what is wrong, and those will be the successful.[Quran-3:104]"


So by stepping out from bad influence, by listening to your inner voice, you have won half the battle.. May Almighty make the path more easier for you and me. Ameen!
And let me tell you something, there is good definitely in you. Your inner self has developed a detachment to the meaningless lifestyle you are exposed to, its seeks something different, its looking around for answers, for purpose of life, thats the sign... you have taken the first step. Now, hold on to it, Insha Allah, you will become better,..!

"Take what is given freely, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the ignorant.[Quran-7:199]"
"O my son, establish prayer, enjoin what is right, forbid what is wrong, and be patient over what befalls you. Indeed, [all] that is of the matters [requiring] determination.[Quran-31:17]"

.... the good in you wants fresh air!
Welcome here

 

[EeNnA]

:salam2:

Jazakumulahu kheyran guys!!!

each and one of you are so nice and all your words really touched me.
Thank you! Sincerely felt very thankful that you guys took the time out to reach out to me.
i wish i had friends like each and one of you to pass my life with. you guys are giving me hope and helping me to strive for a more blessed 2morrow.
its still very hard. but im gonna take wudhu and pray now. and inshaallah small steps for lasting improvements? i feel lighter at the moment and not as bad as i did before.

love you guys fisabillilaah!

 

[a_stranger]

:salam2:

((but im gonna take wudhu and pray now. and inshaallah small steps for lasting improvements? i feel lighter at the moment and not as bad as i did before.))

Dear ........your words brought tears to my eyes , I remembered those pleasnt feelings when I started turning to Allah subhanahu wa taala with all my heart. Now your soul is trying to come closer to the originator of all don't let your desires, shaitan.........this ending life with all it's temporal joys cut her way our souls become dry empty when we forget our creator.....pray sister with all your heart ,ask the one who can do anything ...try to obey Allah ....step by step you will feel true peace and happiness.

 

[MalikBrother]

:salam2: Sister!


Don't be sad. Sadness, Anxiety, Depression,...etc, are part of life, and Prayer meaning seeking closure to Allaah (SWT) - through the spiritually method, is the way to curse all these negative that take a toll on you.

I know you may not pray everyday, but you can try, and keep your faith strong, and by keeping your faith meaning let your mind be cleared, take a deep breath, and let's connect your heart to pray. It may seem hard, but the efforts of trying to connect will seem effortless, Insha'Allaah!

Try to wake up for Fajr (Morning Prayer) because Fajr is what gets your day through the difficult phase, and most of times, your day gets better is reward of your Fajr contribution. So, please, make an efforts of waking up early (sleep early). After Fajr, and try to read Holy Qur'aan once a while. Perhaps, tomorrow if you'd like to.

Youtube the Sunnaah Prayer method which should help you to pray accordingly to Sunnaah, Insha'Allaah!


May Allaah (SWT) strengthen your faith stronger, and give you strength to overcome all these negative (sad, depression...etc), and give you strengthen to be happy, Ameen!

 

[Tomtom]

Wa Alaikkum As'alaam sis EeNnA

To be honest you've highlighted the problems yourself. I'm not praying, I sleep n wen I'm not sleeping I'm not doin anything productive The absence of God in our lives brings shaitaan closer to us, he influences our lives. Laziness is also from shaitaan as he doesn't want us to do anything worthwhile in our lives. You have also been mixing with the wrong crowd at uni, some students are only there to have a good time and do not care about their education or their future. From what you say about your friends they seem to be a bad influence on your life. The Prophet (pbuh) said that one should not mix with unbelievers as they will ultimately turn you against your religion. So you have some choices to make.

I offer the following advise, bear in mind that I am not an imam or a sheyk. I beg you to read the Holy Qura'an every day as in it Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala tells you how best to live this life. You will learn why the bad things are bad and the good things in this life are good Establish prayer, this is very important as you are communicating directly with your Creator and Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala says that He will answer anyone who supplicates to Him with a sincere heart and He will forgive those who ask for forgiveness. Try to implement the five pillars of Islam in your life, it will 'train' you to be a good muslim. You won't feel suicidal once you begin the see the wonders of this world, see the beauty within it, truly see Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala's creation, all this is made just for us. Be amazed. You also need self esteem, you must be really clever if you are at uni right? I wasn't good enough for uni so you have something going for you, you are not stupid.

Look forward to the life that you WILL have, getting married and having children, these are all ordained for us by Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala. I keep saying this in most of my replies but just think that Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala Himself chose you for this life, He formed you in your mother's womb and breathed life into your soul. How could you not be special? Trust in Allah put all of your mind, body and spirit into worshipping Him. Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala is truly great.

 

[al-fajr]

:salam2:

Jazakumulahu kheyran guys!!!

each and one of you are so nice and all your words really touched me.
Thank you! Sincerely felt very thankful that you guys took the time out to reach out to me.
i wish i had friends like each and one of you to pass my life with. you guys are giving me hope and helping me to strive for a more blessed 2morrow.
its still very hard. but im gonna take wudhu and pray now. and inshaallah small steps for lasting improvements? i feel lighter at the moment and not as bad as i did before.

love you guys fisabillilaah!

Wa-alaykum assalam,

Thats really good to know, welldone. This is the result of having hope, you should always have some of that even if you ran out of every other positive thought.

Welcome to TTI.