Globalpeace
Banned
Who’s the Man?
A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife so he went to see the Imam at the local Mosque about the problem
The Imam told him, “Well Brother, Allah (SWT) has given you power over the woman, she is subservient to you. She shouldn’t treat you like this, It’s Haram..”
The man thanked the shaykh and stormed back to his house, banged the door open, pointing a finger in her face, he said, "From now on, I want you to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is law! I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you're going to draw me my bath so I can relax. And when I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"
"The Imam, who you went to see so you can be ready for your Janaza Salah after Fajar," said his wife.
Pregnancy Advice your Local Mosque?
Sisters room was filled with pregnant Sisters and their spouses were next door in the prayer room listening on the speakers.
Sister Fatima was advising on different stages of pregnancy and at the conclusion of her talk, she said, “Its good to walk outdoors when you are pregnant, great exercise and good for you and the baby.
Does anyone have any questions?
A piece of paper came from next door and asked, "Is it alright if she carries my golf bag while we walk?"
Angry Wife:
Bilal was so sick of his wife that we went to the Mosque and on the whim decided to go on Jamaat for 3 days to get away! No notice, no talk, just left!
When he came back home, Sr. Fatima was seething with anger, “Where the hell have you been? I know you don’t care about me, but what about the kids? How would you feel if I went away somewhere for 3 days without notice?”
He was so sick of her that he replied. "That would be fine with me."
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday came & went & he couldn’t see her. But Thursday when the swelling on his face/eyes was down he could just make out Sr Fatima and the kids from the corner of the left eye.
Marital Advice at the Local Mosque?
Khalid was in a miserable marriage. Khadeeja just refused to listen to any rhyme or reason. She never cleaned up, never cooked; all she was interested in was her Bollywood movies.
Enough is Enough! I better go and speak to Shaykh Hasan at the Mosque, he is a wise man and surely will find a way, said Khalid.
Shaykh listened to him patiently and said, “I have a plan” and I will share it with my wife and she can speak to Sr. Khadeeja, Insha’Allah.
Shaykh’s wife goes to see Sr. Khadeeja the next day and says, “Sister I have come to inform you because my husband has spoken to me about this; & I felt compelled to come down and speak to you in person. Your husband’s test results are positive and I am afraid that he only has a few months of live”
I suggest that you "Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious meal he can take to work. And for dinner, prepare an especially nice meal for him."
"Don't burden him with chores, as this could further his stress. Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Try to relax your husband in everyway possible, Insha’Allah. Encourage him to watch some type of team sporting event on television as that will also be good for him”.
Khalid comes home in the evening expecting results, opens the door and in the middle of loud bollywood music hears, “You could have told me that you were going to die…”
Lover’s Tiff:
Omar was angry and seething & decided not to speak to Fatima for a few days.
But then he realised that he has a meeting in Los Angeles and has to catch a flight at 7 in the morning; he needed Fatima to wake him up. I’ll be damned if I speak to her, so I will put a little post-it note in the kitchen saying “Wake me up at 03:30”.
He wakes up the next day at 06:30, gets out in rage, shakes and wakes her up and said, “Didn’t I leave you a message to wake me up”
Didn’t you get the message on the back of the same post-it pad, “Its 03:30, wake-up”
A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife so he went to see the Imam at the local Mosque about the problem
The Imam told him, “Well Brother, Allah (SWT) has given you power over the woman, she is subservient to you. She shouldn’t treat you like this, It’s Haram..”
The man thanked the shaykh and stormed back to his house, banged the door open, pointing a finger in her face, he said, "From now on, I want you to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is law! I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you're going to draw me my bath so I can relax. And when I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"
"The Imam, who you went to see so you can be ready for your Janaza Salah after Fajar," said his wife.
Pregnancy Advice your Local Mosque?
Sisters room was filled with pregnant Sisters and their spouses were next door in the prayer room listening on the speakers.
Sister Fatima was advising on different stages of pregnancy and at the conclusion of her talk, she said, “Its good to walk outdoors when you are pregnant, great exercise and good for you and the baby.
Does anyone have any questions?
A piece of paper came from next door and asked, "Is it alright if she carries my golf bag while we walk?"
Angry Wife:
Bilal was so sick of his wife that we went to the Mosque and on the whim decided to go on Jamaat for 3 days to get away! No notice, no talk, just left!
When he came back home, Sr. Fatima was seething with anger, “Where the hell have you been? I know you don’t care about me, but what about the kids? How would you feel if I went away somewhere for 3 days without notice?”
He was so sick of her that he replied. "That would be fine with me."
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday came & went & he couldn’t see her. But Thursday when the swelling on his face/eyes was down he could just make out Sr Fatima and the kids from the corner of the left eye.
Marital Advice at the Local Mosque?
Khalid was in a miserable marriage. Khadeeja just refused to listen to any rhyme or reason. She never cleaned up, never cooked; all she was interested in was her Bollywood movies.
Enough is Enough! I better go and speak to Shaykh Hasan at the Mosque, he is a wise man and surely will find a way, said Khalid.
Shaykh listened to him patiently and said, “I have a plan” and I will share it with my wife and she can speak to Sr. Khadeeja, Insha’Allah.
Shaykh’s wife goes to see Sr. Khadeeja the next day and says, “Sister I have come to inform you because my husband has spoken to me about this; & I felt compelled to come down and speak to you in person. Your husband’s test results are positive and I am afraid that he only has a few months of live”
I suggest that you "Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious meal he can take to work. And for dinner, prepare an especially nice meal for him."
"Don't burden him with chores, as this could further his stress. Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Try to relax your husband in everyway possible, Insha’Allah. Encourage him to watch some type of team sporting event on television as that will also be good for him”.
Khalid comes home in the evening expecting results, opens the door and in the middle of loud bollywood music hears, “You could have told me that you were going to die…”
Lover’s Tiff:
Omar was angry and seething & decided not to speak to Fatima for a few days.
But then he realised that he has a meeting in Los Angeles and has to catch a flight at 7 in the morning; he needed Fatima to wake him up. I’ll be damned if I speak to her, so I will put a little post-it note in the kitchen saying “Wake me up at 03:30”.
He wakes up the next day at 06:30, gets out in rage, shakes and wakes her up and said, “Didn’t I leave you a message to wake me up”
Didn’t you get the message on the back of the same post-it pad, “Its 03:30, wake-up”
