umm_3abida
New Member
:salam2:
i embraced my islam a little bit more than 3 years ago, i am regretting for nothing except one thing that after i said shahada, afterwards i had very hard doubts time, not because i thought that something is wrong with this my decision, no, just it was hard to accept few things but we are supposed to accept from Allah everything and obey his orders. i am regretting that i had doubts, abut hijab, about everything, clothing, praying, like first time after my shahada i was saying sometimes why do i have to pray 5 times, the most important to believe in heart and to be sincere, but if we muslimas, dont wear clothes that we are supposed to wear to cover our awrah, if we dont pray as we are ordered, what is left then from our Islam, so just recently from months i understood that i want to wear scarf, i want to wear jilbab, i want to wear abaya and alhamdulillah even i am not against niqab as the declaration of who i am.. because this is showing i am muslima.
i married few months after i embraced islam, my husband is the one who introduced for me Islam in letters in 2002, but he just told me there is Islam, and never even gave me a thought or idea or link that maybe i should embrace it and become muslima, it was just a dialogue..i was searching, reading, in the end in 2004 from my country that is one of the Baltic states beside the Baltic sea i moved to london as i gained entrance to the university, there i met more muslim girls who even had their prayer room at the university. i joined it, secretly from my family i started wearing scarf, praying, going to the masjid sometimes the one that is not far from the Madamme Tussaud museum on Baker street. i said my first shahada at home silently just moving my lips and pronouncing holy words that changed my life, the second official one i took in the same masjid in London, and the last one after which i got the official paper that i became muslima, i took this shahada in Egypt in Al Azhar. Since that time already passed 2,5 years and now i have a beautiful 10 month old baby Omar and recently from 5-6 months i started going deeper into deen that changed my life and gave me so much, so much happiness and different calm and wonderful life. i started reading Quran in arabic and already i memorized 16 suras and so often i am wondering how much Allah is helping us, how much He is making everything easy for us and giving us reward. i just want to encourage new muslims new converts, even though i am also new, but!! never be afraid of what people say, my mother is still against my Islam and recently she told me once i have betrayed my religion, but i believe religion is one as our God is one just christianity and judaism modified this religion so the Quran was sent to fix everything that was done wrong. coming from western way of life, even though before my Islam i never tried alcohol even for once and i always was covering myself too much, but still those who choose Islam after western way of life for them it will always be something in it that will be hard to accept or understand from the beginning, but the more time is passing, the more we think, the more we pray, the more we read about Sahaba, our Prophet Mohammed companios :saw2: the more we understand that what we used to be before Islam, was just corrupted image, and who we are with Islam, is a logical beautiful amazing image of our life with its true meaning. In sura AnNasr (Victory) there is aya:
wa raita annesu yadhuluna fe deeny Allahi afwagan
and did you see people in crowds come to the religion of Allah
isnt it the truth? when i read it my belief doubled and increased many many times, the aya was send from many many years, but what we see now, ppl from France, Italy, America, UK and many other countries embrace Islam. Together with me in AlAzhar in the same day one italian woman and french boy took their shahada, the woman was of the age of 40, they boy - 25-30, so there is no limits for age or nationality or colour.
i can say my conversion to Islam wasnt just logical conclusional from reading, and from real seeing that all is truth for example abt scientifical things mentioned in Quran or women equality, i started seeing all of this after i embraced islam and took my shahada,
in my case, in emotional crisis i had i found refuge i was in need of i found it with Allah, and it happened in the hardest time in my life.. i was praying to bless me and give me this refuge, and i was given, i was given my small family, blessing, happiness, inner peace, and as i told before Astaghfirullah, after i entered al deen Allah, i just regret for all my doubts and inner fights i had after this..Astaghfirullah that i doubted after i was given blessing, but i am now inshallah on the new way and i dont think that people who re very strict in islam, i dont think they re fanatic as western people might think, i know its just coming to Allah, our Creator and its being grateful for him. first i was thinking and fighting with myself why why to cover ourselves(women) if men are not able to behave themselves, why why 5 times to pray, but is it so big price to pay for everything we have in our life, for blessing we were given???? and its not even price at all, because the world was supposed to be like this, from the beginning, safe from fitna and blessed in salat, but we got used to what is wrong, we got used that fitna is daily routine, we got used that eating, sleeping and enjoing our life is what has to be, i think sometimes what would i be, who i would be if i wasnt guided to Islam by Allah, i would live simple life without any higher thoughts, getting depressed, not knowing what i live for and why every day i wake up and then sleep and why days run and why why why i dont feel happy, but NOW i have reason, i have purpose, i believe, i know i do alhamdulillah at last i am happy, not just happy i am proud to be muslima, and i can say this..not just proud, i am so much grateful to Allah for bringing me up from the emotional death to here where i am now, i am so much grateful for this blessing, for my present life, and for everything i am given.
The last word to all my muslim sisters, to all muslimas,
Hijab, or full veil, abaya or jilbab, is blessing and NOT oppressing. its showing ppl that we want to be who we are and we cant let weastern world talk about us that we are oppressed because its not order of our fathers and husbands or imams, this is order of our God, of Allah. Are these words about women who are supposed to be oppressed in Islam???????
Mu'aawiyah Ibne Juhaymah radhiyallahu anhumaa relates: My father, Juhaymah radhiyallahu anhu, went to the Apostle of Allah sallallahu alayhi wasallam and said, 'I intend to go on Jihaad and have come to seek your advice.' The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam asked him, 'Is your mother alive?' 'Yes' he replied. 'Then stay with her and look after her needs. Your Heaven lies under her feet' said the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam .
OR THESE WORDS:
A man came to the Prophet and said, ‘O Messenger of God! Who among the people is the most worthy of my good companionship? The Prophet said: Your mother. The man said, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man further asked, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man asked again, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your father. (Bukhari, Muslim).
NO these words are referred to the women who are supposed to be protected and cherrished, so by covering ourselves we protect ourselves, we avoid fitna that is present everywhere nowadays and we obey to our God,Allah, the Lord of Mankind.
your sister in Islam
umm 3abida inshallah :tti_sister:
jazakallah khairan for posting your views sis.
for sharing with us!!!!!:blackhijab:
