My faith is getting weak - Please advise me

cbr

New Member
Salaam,

First of all, only read this if you can give me a serious response. Not to sound mean but I really need sincere and factual advice.

I know it's Ramadan and a time in which the soul becomes closer to Allah and the faith gets stronger...but mine feels weaker.

So far I've kept all my fasts and I also pray...sometimes. I prayed at least once a day in ramadan, some days 4 or 5 prayers.

The thing is, I live my life with what Allah has given me. Yes, it's definetly not perfect or even close to it, but I am pretty thankful. But still, when I look at people who have it better than me (and trust me, this has nothing to do with money) I feel sad and upset.

Yes, I've heard the Prophet's (Peace be upon him) hadith about not looking at the person above you but rather the one how has it worse....but sorry to say that doesn't cut it for me. I feel that what this specific thing that Allah hasn't given me is something that is as if Allah is teasing me and making things worse when it doesn't have to be.

I think to myself, why couldn't Allah just test me without this certain thing being a factor in my life? Islam teaches us that Allah doesn't put one through something that he/she can't handle...and the more He tests you the more he loves you. Yeah well, that doesn't cut it also. I mean come on, I look at people who live a life of sin and don't even think once about God in a day and they go along perfectly in this life. Islam says that those unbelievers will have the torment in the afterlife, but why the heck should I have to go through my torment now? I mean, I am respecting and praising God now, not later, now. So why does God make me wait and have to go through the suffering in this life and on top of that just hope for heaven....I'm not even gaurenteed it...unless you count being tormented in Hell first. Shoot, for all I know my book might be given behind my back. And to think that the life I lived in this world was painful and the afterlife will be as well. What a thought.

I also see other people have it so much worse than me, other Muslims on top of that! Look at most of the Muslim countries around the world. They suffer on a daily basis, I have it good compared to them and I am very thankful for that.

I know Allah can see exactly how I feel and he will judge me accordingly. Maybe my reward will be greater because of this, I don't know.

But one thing that really has shaken my faith is this......I feel really guilty sometimes. I feel that just because of this negative aspect of my life, I look for an answer....and that answer turns me towards Allah. This really hurts me inside. I feel that on the day of judgement, Allah will tell me that I only believed in him as a hope because I didn't have any hope in this life. Isn't that wrong? I think it is. Because I see it as a desperation. Let's say I started this life over (without any memory of this life) and Allah didn't put me in the situation I am in now, would I have close to the same amount of faith in Allah? Probably not. I would just live my life without looking for an "answer" to why my life is this way. I would just live life and die. Honestly, it's a awful thought in my mind if Allah made my life this certain way just so that I would have faith in him. Because I feel that this faith is a weak faith.

Yes this is a long post and if you are reading until now may Allah bless you for your time and effort.

One more thing...I guess this is a different topic but this also shakes my faith. Why is it that Islam teaches us that a person who doesn't believe in Allah will go to hell no matter what they did in this life. I have read this with my own eyes. I really don't see the point in that. Yes, Allah made this world as He wished and who am I to ask questions like this...but I also feel that Allah gave us the mind to think things through, and the Quran talks about this a lot..to ponder. So why is it that a person who lives a good life but doesn't believe in God will go to hell? I can understand it in the way that the person feels that he/she is self sufficent, but come on, the person lived an unselfished life so how can they be punished?

I don't know...life is weird, that is a conclusion to this I guess. I didn't ask to be in it and sometimes I wish that I was nothing and never existed. Who cares if I wouldn't get to go to heaven because I wouldn't go to hell either, I would be nothing. Seriously, what is pleasure and pain? They are just feelings. My body and soul are slaves to these feelings. I think i'm gonna sto p here.

-Muslim brother
 

fagie

Junior Member
Innalilahi wa innailaihiraji'un

I just cant imagine how bad your suffering would be, i hope it is not due to love or marital problem, which unfortunately one of the major causes of people leaving behind their faith.

I think better if u explain what really is your major problem.
This is the work of the syaitan, instilling confusion into yur heart.

As for people who lead a good life and still hasnt receive the message of God, i hav heard he/she will not go straight away to hell, but will judge accordingly by God. And the person him/herself can put a blame toward us , as Muslim for not bringing the message to them. This shows how important da'wah is.

peace
:)
 

cbr

New Member
I prefer not to say what it is. I think my point gets across without mentioning it.

thanks for the response.
 

albinsaid09

New Member
What you are going through now is the same thing what my muslim friend experience abot few years back and i believe that many more people have experienced the same thing as you have. I agree with fagie that this is the work of shaitan. In my opinion , It seems that shaitan has blind you. Let me tell you this if all nonmuslims knew the truth what is going to happen to them during judgement day, they would cry and leve all the material gain in this earth. I suggest you confide with your family or friends or an imam .
Things you can do to distance away from shaitan are 1) read the quran and understand the meanings 2) interact with people who are religious 3)praise Allah:subhanallah: :astag: .
Well , you can be optimistic though. This test can make you a stronger muslim
Inchallah , you get over this and remember that the bigger the test, the more Allah loves you . Well, i am jealous then.Just joking. Who says you cannot you cannot be a practicing muslim and enjoy life at the same time.
 

alhamdulillah

Junior Member
May Allah give you Sabr Insha'Allah...

:bismillah:

:wasalam: Dear Member..Ramadan Kareem to you Insha'Allah and welcome to this site!

Please note..i will do my best to give you sincere advice..feel free to read on...

All Praise is due to Allah and i thank Him for everything.

Brother i will go through some of your points Insha'Allah to keep it on the topic and not drift off Insha'Allah.

firstly you mentioned:

"I feel that what this specific thing that Allah hasn't given me is something that is as if Allah is teasing me and making things worse when it doesn't have to be."

Subhan'Allah....wallahi Subhan'Allah (Glory be to Allah)....Allah says in the Qu'ran "It may be that you like somthing but it would bring about you no good and it may be that you dislike something whilst it brings you good..."

Subhan'Allah - look at Allah's wisdom..filled with truth....please remember that i am not lecturing you in anyway, it is only just sincere advice!

based on the above verse - just as an example, when a child or we oursleves fall ill, we go to seek some remedy right? we go to a doctor whom would advice us of what to do e.g. rest, take so and so medicine etc the doctor prescribes some medicine for us which would or could be bitter in taste, especially for a child! its bitter alright, but it would Insha'Allah bring good to the health no? (note however - doctors are just there as an advisor/carer the SHIFA (actuall cure) comes from Allah Alone!)

so for one to say that Allah is teasing me...hasnt even tasted the medicine to say such a statement! (im not hinting anything directly at you so please dont mind!) i'd rather speak to you as i go then just to advice and advice which sometimes people cant be bothered with!

second, you mentioned:

"I think to myself, why couldn't Allah just test me without this certain thing being a factor in my life?"

Allah says in Surah al- Baqarah (Verse 155) "And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient,
(verse 156) Who, when disaster strikes them, say, "Indeed we belong to Allah, and indeed to Him we will return!"

(verse 157) "Those are the ones upon whom are blessings from their Lord and Mercy. And it is those who are [rightly] guided."

Subhan'Allah - now based on the above inspiring verses, what could be more severe in pain then having your parents die in front of your very own eyes?

let me recall it to you when the companion of Alayhis sallatu wassalam, Amr bin Yassar (Radi'Allahu anhum) saw his mother (Sumayah) and Father (Yassar) KILLED before his eyes....the disbelievers tortured his mother and in the end stabbed her with a spear (i believe)....wallahi one needs to reflect from this story and realise that parents are such a blessing in ones life and when that is taken away from you..then yes it would hurt...dont get me wrong, im not saying your situation is not worth talking about - im just hinting on something which should be dearer to you than all other affairs, your parents...as 'Paradise lies beneath you Mothers feet'..Subhan'Allah.

So Allah surely will test us in the loss of our loved ones, our wealth, children etc...we got to have Tawwakul (reliance) in Him Insha'Allah. And what a beautiful Eman did Amr (Radi'Allahu anhu) possess? (Subhan'Allah)

(by the way, Yassar and Sumayah are/were the first martyers of Islam and they are PROMISED Paradise!) Subhan'Allah.

thirdly, you mentioned:

"I look at people who live a life of sin and don't even think once about God in a day and they go along perfectly in this life"

Allah says in Surah Maryam (Verse 77) "Then have you seen he who disbelieved in Our verses and said "I will surely be given wealth and children (in the next life)"?
(Verse 78) "Has he looked into the Unseen, or has he taken from the Most Merciful a promise?"
(Verse 79) "No! We will record what he says and extend (i.e. increase) for him from the punishment extensively!"
(Verse 80) "And We will inherit him (in) what he mentions*, and he will come to Us alone!".

Subhan'Allah *Instead of giving him wealth and children in the Hereafter, Allah will take from him those he had in wordly life at the time of his death!.

(Verse 84 still Surah Maryam) "So be not patient over them. We only count out (i.e.allow) to them a [limited] number."*

* Of breaths, of days, or of evil deeds.

Subhan'Allah...i hope the above verses and quotes answered your question...remember that 'This life is prison for the believers whilst it is Paradise for the disbelievers. But the Hereafter would be Paradise for the Believers and prison for the disbelievers.' (Insha'Allah)

fourthly, you mentioned: (still reading? .... Alhamdulillah)

"So why does God make me wait and have to go through the suffering in this life and on top of that just hope for heaven....I'm not even gaurenteed it..."

Paradise is promised for those who believe....remember that no examiner will give you the answer to your test/s..but Allah being the Examiner of Examiners..has given you the answer to this lifes' test....which you'll find in the Glorious Qu'ran and the Sunnah of Alayhis sallatu wassalam...Insha'Allah!

Fifth, you said:

"Why is it that Islam teaches us that a person who doesn't believe in Allah will go to hell no matter what they did in this life. I have read this with my own eyes. I really don't see the point in that."

again...see above references and many other Verses in the Qu'ran..but just to touch on what you've said...dont forget Allah is All-Just...the people in this world who are not believers (yaa'ni in Allah-not Muslims) but are extremely helpful good etc...Allah will give there share of reward in THIS WORLD....the Hereafter is only for the BELIEVERS....(i dont think this should be disscussed futher...it is Allah's decree and we should accept it as that!)

Sixth point you mentioned:

"Who cares if I wouldn't get to go to heaven because I wouldn't go to hell either, I would be nothing. Seriously, what is pleasure and pain? They are just feelings."

Subhan'Allah...yes they are just feelings which one needs to endure with much patience.....you see the companions (Radi'Allahu anhum) of :saw: wished that they were leaves of trees which would just fall as Allah Wills the season to change...others wished similar things....the wisdom behinde it shows how fearful ther were of Allah..that they obviously were afraid of going to hell and afraid of His punishments overall.....

"Not a single leaf falls but that of which Allah Knows..."(Qu'ran) so how about the things what we reveal and conceal...do we not realise that we have a RABB (Lord) who knows all things?

lastly you mentioned:

"Honestly, it's a awful thought in my mind if Allah made my life this certain way just so that I would have faith in him. Because I feel that this faith is a weak faith."

Subhan'Allah...remember "Whomsoever Allah guides, none can lead astray. But whomsoever Allah leads astray, none can EVER guide...." (Qu'ran)

My dear Brother in Islam....what ever your situation...do not despair of the Mercy of Allah...what a b-yoo-ti-ful month to seek His (Subhanahu wa Taa'ala) aid....make lots of Dua to Him Alone that He may grant you Sabr....He obviously Knows the very best for his servents...

i dont know what more to say dear brother than to read the Qu'ran and implement it in your life and may Allah give us all the ability to to that Ameen...
Insha'Allah..you should and would find the answers to all your questions! May Allah bless you and protect you and help you to increase your faith aswell as us all Ameen.

always remember..."Through every Hardiship comes Ease..." (Qur'an) strengthen your link with Allah and remember Him much. "Verily in the rememberence of Allah do hearts find rest!" (Qur'an) these are Allah's Words and im assured! (Alhamdulillah ala kuli haal-All praise is due to Allah, i thank Him for everything)

May Allah make this month a blissful month for us all and may He bless us with His Rehma and enable us to taste and gain Halawatul Eman (the sweetness of Eman) Ameen Ya Rabb...

if theres any good in what ive said then its from Allah Alone, any faults mistakes, anything wrong are purely from my side!

with this i leave you in the View of Ar-Raheem and Jazak'Allah Khairan for you patients in reading this!

Ma'Salama
your sister in Islam...
 

mosabaig

Junior Member
To learn belief

My Bro:salam2:

Beleve need maintance as well.
Beautiful garden if neglected becomes a jungle and a house for wild animals of all sorts. The garden of Islam was left behind in prophets time was full of fruits of all sort which throughout the generations and with efforts, love and hard work was kept beautiful..now it's our weak hands which are wiggling and donot know its full worth. But let's come death which no one can stop we will know and see and be pleased or be very sad...
 

Kayote

Junior Member
Assalam-u-Aliekum,

I donot wish to beat about the bush so lets get on to the point.

First of all, I think you answer some of your own questions. Let me quote you.

So far I've kept all my fasts
and I also pray...sometimes. I prayed at least once a day in Ramadan, some days 4 or 5 prayers.
Did you know Salat is mentioned 67 times in the Quran? This should give you an idea how important Salat are. Salat is one of the most important deeds of Islam & comes before others like Zakat & Fast.
The thing is, I live my life with what Allah has given me. Yes, it's definitely not perfect or even close to it, but I am pretty thankful.
I feel that what this specific thing that Allah hasn't given me is something that is as if Allah is teasing me and making things worse when it doesn't have to be.
Do these comments make sense to you? First, you say you are thankful & then you are implying that Allah isn’t giving you what you want.
and I also pray...sometimes. I prayed at least once a day in Ramadan, some days 4 or 5 prayers.
I am respecting and praising God now, not later, now
Are you respecting God? Allah is our creator, He is so Superior that there is no comparison & He only asks us to offer 5 prayers a day. Yet, you are not even doing that. I am not going to touch other topics that a muslim should do. Prayers are the first step & you cannot respect that order from the creator of the entire time. So do you earnestly believe that you are respecting & giving Him the respect He has rightly commanded for us to give?
why does God make me wait and have to go through the suffering in this life and on top of that just hope for heaven....I'm not even guaranteed it...unless you count being tormented in Hell first.
When Prophet Muhammad himself asked other to pray from him so he(SAW) goes to Paradise, how can you or I have any confirmation that we are going to Paradise? What suffering you have suffered is nothing, absolutely diminutive in nature compared to what task & suffering Prophet Muhammad (SAW) had to endure in spreading the word of Islam. His whole life was a struggle & we all pray that Insha’Allah Muhammad (SAW) will go to Paradise. Allah alone (& only) knows who will go to Paradise and who will not. The best you & I can do is pray, make dua & hope for Allah’s mercy & his forgiveness is beyond measure.
I look at people who live a life of sin and don't even think once about God in a day and they go along perfectly in this life. Islam says that those unbelievers will have the torment in the afterlife, but why the heck should I have to go through my torment now?
It is a choice we all have & so do you. You can choose this life (average 65yrs?) of fun & ‘happiness’ (though I believe that happiness itself will be very hollow) or an eternity of happiness which cannot be measured. Just look at your watch for a sec & compared that to your whole lifetime & even this is poor example which doesn’t display the whole spectrum.
Look at most of the Muslim countries around the world. They suffer on a daily basis,…
That’s because the muslim ummah as a whole is weak, most of us donot pray or have firm belief in our faith. We are fighting with eachother. We are confused as we want to follow Islam yet we desire the western way of life & shameful display. We fight with eachother. We donot comprehend the importance of education nor do we study our own religion the way we should.
Let me stop here, I have a lot more to add but Im at work & have a lot of reporting to do. :) Take care until later.

:wasalam:
 

cbr

New Member
Thanks a lot my brothers (and sister).

That made me feel much better. I do feel that Allah is testing my faith in Him and insh'Allah on the day of judgement I will be able to proudly say that I kept faith even through the hardships I had to face in this life. I will live my life with Allah in mind.

One short surah that I really enjoy in the Quran is surah Asr:

103:1 By (the Token of) Time (through the ages),
103:2 Verily Man is in loss,
103:3 Except such as have Faith, and do righteous deeds, and (join together) in the mutual teaching of Truth, and of Patience and Constancy.



I think that those who do not believe in Allah and do good in this life will be treated fair. Who am I kidding? Allah is the most just, the all seeing, the all hearing, the all knowing. And it is up to Allah wether he will let them enter paradise. I think the shaitaan makes me forget this about Allah sometimes and makes me feel alone like there is nobody who knows how I feel. It's easy to say Allah understands everything but to seriously believe it in your heart takes much faith.

Thanks guys, I'm going to save this page so if I ever feel like I need some support I can read it again. May Allah bless you all and all praise is due to Allah.

I plan to keep all my fasts this ramadan and also pray as much as possible, insh'Allah.
 

alhamdulillah

Junior Member
May Allah reward you dear Brother...

:bismillah:

:wasalam: noble brother...you are most welcome!

May Allah truely reward you for your patience and for reading our long replies...

na'am, its true, Shaytan does his best to divert us from the path of Allah/the path of truth...but since its Ramadan, the doors of Heaven are opened and for how long will we be blaming Shaytan?

on Yaum al'Qiyama (The Day of Judgement) Shaytan will literally deliver a speech. And in it he will say "Do not blame me for you position today, i only whispered to you to do evil, it is you who actually chose to hear my call as you could of simply avoided it. So blame yourselves!" (may Allah save us from the Fire of Hell - Ameen)

see even Shaytan knows that he can not harm Allah's true believers, but we all are humans, we make mistakes and we have a Lord who is Ever Forgiving Most Merciful - (Note, that is not to say we take advantage of His Mercy-just like He is Merciful, know that He is most severe punishment)

Alhamdulillah..im very happy for you brother....always rely on Allah and never feel alone. If a time comes when you do, then remember that you have a Lord who cares....Allah says, "If my servent takes one step towards Me, I will take ten towards him. If he comings walking to Me, I will come running to him." Subhan'Allah....

one other advice i would give however is to be amongst good companions Insha'Allah....remember that Association breeds Assimilation..... positive and negative alike! Subhan'Allah.

Tay'yib...i leave you in Allah's Care, may Allah give you tawfeeq in this World and the Next and may He Subhanahu wa Ta'aala accept from you your fasts and Ibadah together with ours Ameen ya Rabb!

Ma'Salama
your sister in Islam...
 

shous

Junior Member
I am kind of in the same boat, I feel very low in my religion. I have been thinking of going back to the catholic faith. I feel alone where I am at. :frown:
good luck brother, I will be praying for you.
 

mr. ok

Junior Member
Want some advice?

:bismillah:

:salam2: my dear brothers and sisters (Muslims & non-Muslims).

I dont get it. How can one be a Muslim and not feel a comfort in his/her heart. What kind of a Muslim does not feel the sensational feeling of Islam (power)? How can one be a Muslim and not be satisfied? I can tell just by listening to you that your missing something (Islam & lack of effort).

One does not become a Muslim just by simply saying La-ilaha-il-Allah. You got to live/act it and not just move your tongue. You know what's your problem? You stay away from Islam (not praying salat) then you expect sympathy from Allah? Hey, am not trying to bash/judge you or anything like that but you need to understand that its your lack of effort that is weakening you. You dont even pray Salat the way it suppose to be done. Your not helping Allah just by praying sometimes. Allah does not need your Salat. By praying Salat you benefit yourself! Now who doesnt what to help himself/herself out?

I dont know what it is about Salat but when i pray Salat i feel a comfort in my heart. After i pray E-sha (i hope i spelled it right) i feel relieved and thank Allah for giving me the opportunity to pray Salat once again. Its like one of those feelings you get when you accomplish something that was expected from you (job/duty). Now you may be wondering why is this guy telling me how he feels.

The reason am telling you this is because as a Muslim one of the things that satisfies me is praying Salat. This is relevent to the point i was trying to make about satisfaction and comfort. So i never went off topic. If i did go off topic somehow then please forgive me as am trying to give you a sincere answer.

Its like your losing hope in yourself and not in Islam (gave up on life). Hey, things dont just come as one pleases. Have some patients. My mother always tells me, listen Osama, if you want to accomplish something in life get off your butt and go do something (best advice someone can give).

You wanted some sincere advice? Well, here's some: Pray Salat five times a day like you suppose to. Study Islam! Dont dig a hole by keeping away from Islam (not praying Salat five times a day or not studying). Most of our brothers and sisters will not study for their own and base almost all their knowledge they have about Islam on them imams. Self education and awareness (of Islam) is the key in strengthening the Ummah! May Allah give us E-lum (knowledge).

Sorry for the long response. Please forgive me if i said anything unsounded, offensive, or wrong to you.

barakAllah fik
 

albinsaid09

New Member
Tel you what 'shous' . what i suggest you to do is read lots and lot of the quran. Or maybe listen to the recitations of the imams from masjidil haram. It helps a lot . Read the translation and understand the meaning. It helps . TRy it!!!:biggrin:
 

ibnAbdullah87

Junior Member
:bismillah:

Allah's messenger :saw: said:Between a person and kufr and shirk is the abandonment of the prayer [Saheeh Muslim]

and he :saw: also said The covenant dividing us and them (i.e. the kuffaar) is the prayer. Who ever abandons it has committed kufr.

so this is advice and warning for all of us.

And He it is who accepts repentance from his servents, and forgives sins, and he knows what you do. [Soorah ash-Shooraa, Aayah 25]

so we should all ask Allah to forgive us for missed prayer for they are to much for us to remember them all and make up inshallah and Allah knows best.:subhanallah:
 

shous

Junior Member
I really feel no connection to Islam. But i DO have a connection to God. I always did. But when it comes to walking and talking like a Muslim. I dont.
I am married to a man who is a born Muslim and does not want me to dress or act Muslim. He says he wants me to be "normal".

The first day of Ramadan, i wore hijab to try and get `back` into my Islam habit, the that very day someone spit on my car door. It was so much i could not get in on the driver side. It was disgusting.
I took off hijab and my husband said it happened because of hijab and i did not look normal.
He does not want to pray or to talk about Islam or go to the mosque or be around Muslims. If we do we will stick out and not be `normal`.
THIS is why I am thinking of leaving. i need to feel a connection somewhere. So i feel i am forced to look else where.
 

Kayote

Junior Member
I really feel no connection to Islam. But i DO have a connection to God. I always did. But when it comes to walking and talking like a Muslim. I dont.
I am married to a man who is a born Muslim and does not want me to dress or act Muslim. He says he wants me to be "normal".

The first day of Ramadan, i wore hijab to try and get `back` into my Islam habit, the that very day someone spit on my car door. It was so much i could not get in on the driver side. It was disgusting.
I took off hijab and my husband said it happened because of hijab and i did not look normal.
He does not want to pray or to talk about Islam or go to the mosque or be around Muslims. If we do we will stick out and not be `normal`.
THIS is why I am thinking of leaving. i need to feel a connection somewhere. So i feel i am forced to look else where.

:salam2:

May I be blunt...

Did you embrace Islam for your husband (who clearly doesnot know or appreciate Islam) or for fear of Allah. If it is for the former, you are not hiding anything from Allah & all this prayers & hijab is for nothing. If it is for the later, trust in Allah & pray to him to give you strength & guidance.

The reason I did not put a question mark at the end of the question is because its not a question. Your relationship with Allah is only between you & Allah. We are here to learn from each other & try to assist in answering any questions or advise we may seek from each other (which itself is Allah's will).

I pray that you do not leave the truth but the decision is yours. If you truly desire something, you have to fight for it. Why not recite Quran & see if it opens your eyes to what you have.

Just be aware that there is significant difference between the concept of God in Islam (there is but One God - Surah 112 - Al-Ikhlas) & the concept of 'Trinity' in Christianity. Allah has set guidlines for us to follow & you & I donot have a say in the matter what we like (accept) & what we do not.

Having said the above, I do personally feel that Islam being a way of life, (a perfect Religion), we need to understand & be educated about it. And it takes time to comprehend the whole meaning & the whys & the whats. If you are new, Hijaab is not the most important aspect of Islam. Start from the basic & first of all, understand what it means to be a muslim. Take it a step at a time... which reminds me, there is a lecture from Jeffery Lang on Salat in the Media section, watch that to understand what I mean.

May Allah guide you & give you the strength to stay on the truth. Amen.

:wasalam:
 

alhamdulillah

Junior Member
I really feel no connection to Islam. But i DO have a connection to God. I always did. But when it comes to walking and talking like a Muslim. I dont.
I am married to a man who is a born Muslim and does not want me to dress or act Muslim. He says he wants me to be "normal".

The first day of Ramadan, i wore hijab to try and get `back` into my Islam habit, the that very day someone spit on my car door. It was so much i could not get in on the driver side. It was disgusting.
I took off hijab and my husband said it happened because of hijab and i did not look normal.
He does not want to pray or to talk about Islam or go to the mosque or be around Muslims. If we do we will stick out and not be `normal`.
THIS is why I am thinking of leaving. i need to feel a connection somewhere. So i feel i am forced to look else where.

:bismillah:

:salam2: Ramadan Kareem...may Allah reward you for your efforts Ameen.

Dear Ukthi, I would suggest you read the following Ayah's from the Glorious Qu'ran (Surah Baqarah)....

Surah Baqarah Verse 23: And if you are in doubt about what We have sent down [i.e. the Qur'an] upon Our servent [i.e.Prophet Muhammad :saw: ], then produce a chapter the like thereof and call upon your witness [i.e. supporters] other than Allah, if you should be truthful.

Verse 24: But if you do not - and you will never be able to - then fear the Fire, whose fuel is men and stones, prepared for the disbelievers.

Verse 28: How can you disbelieve in Allah when you were lifeless and He brought you to life; then He will cause you to die, then He will bring you [back] to life, and then to Him you will be returned.

Verse 120: And never will the Jews and Christians approve of you untill you follow their religion. Say, "Indeed, the guidence of Allah is the [only] guidence. "If you were to follow their desires after what has come to you of knowledge, you would have against Allah no protector or helper.

Verse 161: Indeed those who disbelieve and die while they are disbelievers - upon them will be the curse of Allah and of the Angels and the people, all together.

Verse 208: O you who have believed, enter into Islam perfectly [and completely] and do not follow the footsteps of Shaytan. Indeed, he is to you a clear enemy.

Verse 209: But if you slip away [i.e. deviate] after clear proofs have come to you, then know that Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise.

Verse 212: Beautified for those who disbelieve is the life of this world, and they ridicule those who believe. But those who fear Allah are above them on the Day of Ressurection. And Allah gives provision to whom He wills without account.

Just to hint also - the meaning of the word ISLAM is 'submission to the will of Allah'. This is the way of life ordained by Allah and taught by all of the Prophets from Adam to Muhammad :saw: and a Muslim is the one who submits himself to Allah.

In conclusion - may Allah increase us in our Faith, protect us from the trials of this world, help us to bear it with patience and reliance in Him and make us die as Muslims Ameen ya Rabb!

Its the Month of Ramadan and the doors of Mercy is opened. Try to Strengthen your link with Allah and make lots of Du'a to Him to keep you guided on the 'Haqq' (truth-the only truth to be more precise!). Be amongst good and righteous companions.

May Allah guide you dear sister as well as us all Ameen.

Truely, 'Whomsoever Allah guides, none can lead astray; but whomsoever Allah leads astray, none can ever guide!' (Qur'an) Subhan'Allah...

With this I leave you in the View of Ar-Raheem, Allah the Most-Merciful!

Ma'Salama
your sister in Islam...
 

mr. ok

Junior Member
Dear Shous

:bismillah:

:salam2: my dear brothers and sisters (Muslims & non-Muslims)

Posted by Shous: I am married to a man who is a born Muslim and does not want me to dress or act Muslim. He says he wants me to be "normal".

I think the term "Muslim" has been misinterpreted so many times by so many people who dont understand the meaning of it. I just hope you understand that a person does not become a Muslim just by being born in a family that may claim to be Muslim. People often mistake hypocrisy with Muslims due to lack of understanding. They simply cannot differ between the two.

Posted by Shous: The first day of Ramadan, i wore hijab to try and get `back` into my Islam habit, the that very day someone spit on my car door. It was so much i could not get in on the driver side. It was disgusting.

I can feel what your going through. I get discriminated almost everday as my name is Osama. When someone asks me what my name is i tell them straight up that it is Osama. Am not ashamed of who i am or my name. They just simply dont know me. :) I live by many rules; sticks and stones may break me bones but words cannot bring me down, and this is just part of it.

Posted by Shous:
I took off hijab and my husband said it happened because of hijab and i did not look normal.

Did not look normal? Ask your husband if he really knows why (reason behind it) a hijab is worn?

Posted by Shous: He does not want to pray or to talk about Islam or go to the mosque or be around Muslims. If we do we will stick out and not be `normal`.

How do you define "normal?" Am sorry to ask you this but is your husband a Muslim? People often misinterpret what a Muslim means. When i say Muslim i mean someone who has knowledge of Islam and practice's it. If they (whoever discriminates you) cant respect you as a person now then i doubt it if they will after you disguise yourself as a non-Muslim.

Posted by Shous: THIS is why I am thinking of leaving. i need to feel a connection somewhere. So i feel i am forced to look else where.[/QUOTE]

It seems like your trying to find a connection with people and not Allah, but whatever makes you happy. :)

Please forgive me if i sounded unsounded or said anything offensive to you.

barakAllah fik
 

shous

Junior Member
I am about to read the replys and I wanted to say this in response to one posters first question (to clear that up). Yes. I converted 2 years before I met my Husband.
 

shous

Junior Member
:bismillah:

:salam2: my dear brothers and sisters (Muslims & non-Muslims)

Posted by Shous: I am married to a man who is a born Muslim and does not want me to dress or act Muslim. He says he wants me to be "normal".

I think the term "Muslim" has been misinterpreted so many times by so many people who dont understand the meaning of it. I just hope you understand that a person does not become a Muslim just by being born in a family that may claim to be Muslim. People often mistake hypocrites with Muslims due to lack of understanding. They simply cannot differ between the two.

Posted by Shous: The first day of Ramadan, i wore hijab to try and get `back` into my Islam habit, the that very day someone spit on my car door. It was so much i could not get in on the driver side. It was disgusting.

I can feel what your going through. I get discriminated almost everday as my name is Osama. When someone asks me what my name is i tell them straight up that it is Osama. Am not ashamed of who i am or my name. They just simply dont know me. :) I live by many rules; sticks and stones may break me bones but words cannot bring me down, and this is just part of it.

Posted by Shous:
I took off hijab and my husband said it happened because of hijab and i did not look normal.

Did not look normal? Ask your husband if he really knows why (reason behind it) a hijab is worn?

Posted by Shous: He does not want to pray or to talk about Islam or go to the mosque or be around Muslims. If we do we will stick out and not be `normal`.

How do you define "normal?" Am sorry to ask you this but is your husband a Muslim? People often misinterpret what a Muslim means. When i say Muslim i mean someone who has knowledge of Islam and practice's it. If they (whoever discriminates you) cant respect you as a person now then i doubt it if they will after you disguise yourself as a non-Muslim.

Posted by Shous: THIS is why I am thinking of leaving. i need to feel a connection somewhere. So i feel i am forced to look else where.


My husbands idea of ~normal~ is looking like a typical american.

Thanks for all the advice everyone. I am going to pray very hard about this! It has really just got me down.
wasalamm
 

ibnAbdullah87

Junior Member
How Does One Behave Toward a Relative Who Does Not Pray?

I hope you will benefit from this fatwa.

Question:

I have a brother-in-law who rarely prays. I live with my husband’s family and [ the female members of] his family sit with him even if the Imam is praying. What should I do? I am not one of his relatives (mahram). Is there any sin upon me since I do not have the ability to advise him?
Answer:

If he does not pray, then he is deserving to be boycotted. You should not greet him nor should you respond to his greeting, until he repents. This is because not praying is a greater form of kufr [that takes one out of the fold of Islam]. This is true even if a person does not deny that it is obligatory. This is according to the most correct opinion among the scholars. The Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alaihi-wasallam) said,
“The covenant that is between us and them [the disbelievers] is the prayer. Whoever abandons it has committed blasphemy.” This was recorded by Ahmed and the compilers of the Sunan with a sound chain.

The Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alaihi-wasallam) said, “Between a man and disbelief and polytheism is the abandoning of the prayer.” This is recorded by Imam Muslim in his sahih.

However, if a person denies the obligation of the prayers, then he is a disbeliever according to the consensus of the scholars.

Therefore, it is obligatory upon his family to advise him and to boycott him if he does not repent. It is obligatory to take his matter to the ruler for him to be asked to repent. If he repents,[that is accepted from him]. If he does not repent, he is to be killed. This is because Allah has said in the Qur’an,

“But if they repent and offer prayer perfectly and give zakat, then leave their way free.” (at-Tauba: 5)

Also, the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alaihi-wasallam) said,

“I have been prohibited from killing those who pray.” [1]

These evidences show that one who does not pray is not to have his “way left free” and there is no prohibition against killing him if he is taken to the authorities and he does not repent. And Allah is the One who provides guidance.

___________________________

[1]. Recorded by Abu Dawud. Some of the narrators in the chain are unknown. However, due to supporting evidence, al-Albani has called this hadith sahih.See Muhammed Nasir al-Din al-Albani,Sahih Sunan Abu Dawud (Riyadh: Maktaba al-Tarbiyah al-Arabi li-Daul al-Khaleej,1989), vol. 3 p. 931. He discusses it in some detail, although without mentioning that it is recorded by Abu Dawud, in Muhammed Nasir al-Din al-Albani,Silsilat al-Ahadith al-Sahiha (Riyadh: Maktaba al-Maarif,1991), Vol. 5, p. 493


Shaykh `Abdul-`Azeez Bin Baz
Islamic Fatawa Regarding Women - Darussalam Pg.34-36
 
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