Salaam,
First of all, only read this if you can give me a serious response. Not to sound mean but I really need sincere and factual advice.
I know it's Ramadan and a time in which the soul becomes closer to Allah and the faith gets stronger...but mine feels weaker.
So far I've kept all my fasts and I also pray...sometimes. I prayed at least once a day in ramadan, some days 4 or 5 prayers.
The thing is, I live my life with what Allah has given me. Yes, it's definetly not perfect or even close to it, but I am pretty thankful. But still, when I look at people who have it better than me (and trust me, this has nothing to do with money) I feel sad and upset.
Yes, I've heard the Prophet's (Peace be upon him) hadith about not looking at the person above you but rather the one how has it worse....but sorry to say that doesn't cut it for me. I feel that what this specific thing that Allah hasn't given me is something that is as if Allah is teasing me and making things worse when it doesn't have to be.
I think to myself, why couldn't Allah just test me without this certain thing being a factor in my life? Islam teaches us that Allah doesn't put one through something that he/she can't handle...and the more He tests you the more he loves you. Yeah well, that doesn't cut it also. I mean come on, I look at people who live a life of sin and don't even think once about God in a day and they go along perfectly in this life. Islam says that those unbelievers will have the torment in the afterlife, but why the heck should I have to go through my torment now? I mean, I am respecting and praising God now, not later, now. So why does God make me wait and have to go through the suffering in this life and on top of that just hope for heaven....I'm not even gaurenteed it...unless you count being tormented in Hell first. Shoot, for all I know my book might be given behind my back. And to think that the life I lived in this world was painful and the afterlife will be as well. What a thought.
I also see other people have it so much worse than me, other Muslims on top of that! Look at most of the Muslim countries around the world. They suffer on a daily basis, I have it good compared to them and I am very thankful for that.
I know Allah can see exactly how I feel and he will judge me accordingly. Maybe my reward will be greater because of this, I don't know.
But one thing that really has shaken my faith is this......I feel really guilty sometimes. I feel that just because of this negative aspect of my life, I look for an answer....and that answer turns me towards Allah. This really hurts me inside. I feel that on the day of judgement, Allah will tell me that I only believed in him as a hope because I didn't have any hope in this life. Isn't that wrong? I think it is. Because I see it as a desperation. Let's say I started this life over (without any memory of this life) and Allah didn't put me in the situation I am in now, would I have close to the same amount of faith in Allah? Probably not. I would just live my life without looking for an "answer" to why my life is this way. I would just live life and die. Honestly, it's a awful thought in my mind if Allah made my life this certain way just so that I would have faith in him. Because I feel that this faith is a weak faith.
Yes this is a long post and if you are reading until now may Allah bless you for your time and effort.
One more thing...I guess this is a different topic but this also shakes my faith. Why is it that Islam teaches us that a person who doesn't believe in Allah will go to hell no matter what they did in this life. I have read this with my own eyes. I really don't see the point in that. Yes, Allah made this world as He wished and who am I to ask questions like this...but I also feel that Allah gave us the mind to think things through, and the Quran talks about this a lot..to ponder. So why is it that a person who lives a good life but doesn't believe in God will go to hell? I can understand it in the way that the person feels that he/she is self sufficent, but come on, the person lived an unselfished life so how can they be punished?
I don't know...life is weird, that is a conclusion to this I guess. I didn't ask to be in it and sometimes I wish that I was nothing and never existed. Who cares if I wouldn't get to go to heaven because I wouldn't go to hell either, I would be nothing. Seriously, what is pleasure and pain? They are just feelings. My body and soul are slaves to these feelings. I think i'm gonna sto p here.
-Muslim brother
First of all, only read this if you can give me a serious response. Not to sound mean but I really need sincere and factual advice.
I know it's Ramadan and a time in which the soul becomes closer to Allah and the faith gets stronger...but mine feels weaker.
So far I've kept all my fasts and I also pray...sometimes. I prayed at least once a day in ramadan, some days 4 or 5 prayers.
The thing is, I live my life with what Allah has given me. Yes, it's definetly not perfect or even close to it, but I am pretty thankful. But still, when I look at people who have it better than me (and trust me, this has nothing to do with money) I feel sad and upset.
Yes, I've heard the Prophet's (Peace be upon him) hadith about not looking at the person above you but rather the one how has it worse....but sorry to say that doesn't cut it for me. I feel that what this specific thing that Allah hasn't given me is something that is as if Allah is teasing me and making things worse when it doesn't have to be.
I think to myself, why couldn't Allah just test me without this certain thing being a factor in my life? Islam teaches us that Allah doesn't put one through something that he/she can't handle...and the more He tests you the more he loves you. Yeah well, that doesn't cut it also. I mean come on, I look at people who live a life of sin and don't even think once about God in a day and they go along perfectly in this life. Islam says that those unbelievers will have the torment in the afterlife, but why the heck should I have to go through my torment now? I mean, I am respecting and praising God now, not later, now. So why does God make me wait and have to go through the suffering in this life and on top of that just hope for heaven....I'm not even gaurenteed it...unless you count being tormented in Hell first. Shoot, for all I know my book might be given behind my back. And to think that the life I lived in this world was painful and the afterlife will be as well. What a thought.
I also see other people have it so much worse than me, other Muslims on top of that! Look at most of the Muslim countries around the world. They suffer on a daily basis, I have it good compared to them and I am very thankful for that.
I know Allah can see exactly how I feel and he will judge me accordingly. Maybe my reward will be greater because of this, I don't know.
But one thing that really has shaken my faith is this......I feel really guilty sometimes. I feel that just because of this negative aspect of my life, I look for an answer....and that answer turns me towards Allah. This really hurts me inside. I feel that on the day of judgement, Allah will tell me that I only believed in him as a hope because I didn't have any hope in this life. Isn't that wrong? I think it is. Because I see it as a desperation. Let's say I started this life over (without any memory of this life) and Allah didn't put me in the situation I am in now, would I have close to the same amount of faith in Allah? Probably not. I would just live my life without looking for an "answer" to why my life is this way. I would just live life and die. Honestly, it's a awful thought in my mind if Allah made my life this certain way just so that I would have faith in him. Because I feel that this faith is a weak faith.
Yes this is a long post and if you are reading until now may Allah bless you for your time and effort.
One more thing...I guess this is a different topic but this also shakes my faith. Why is it that Islam teaches us that a person who doesn't believe in Allah will go to hell no matter what they did in this life. I have read this with my own eyes. I really don't see the point in that. Yes, Allah made this world as He wished and who am I to ask questions like this...but I also feel that Allah gave us the mind to think things through, and the Quran talks about this a lot..to ponder. So why is it that a person who lives a good life but doesn't believe in God will go to hell? I can understand it in the way that the person feels that he/she is self sufficent, but come on, the person lived an unselfished life so how can they be punished?
I don't know...life is weird, that is a conclusion to this I guess. I didn't ask to be in it and sometimes I wish that I was nothing and never existed. Who cares if I wouldn't get to go to heaven because I wouldn't go to hell either, I would be nothing. Seriously, what is pleasure and pain? They are just feelings. My body and soul are slaves to these feelings. I think i'm gonna sto p here.
-Muslim brother