Assalam Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuhu sisters and brothers, Alright, so I joined TTI about two weeks back but never really got the time to write more about me. Now before I start I want to make it clear that I'm not a revert so in case you're looking for reversion stories please visit this thread instead www.turntoislam.com/forum/showthread.php?t=20400 My story is very very very long so Im dividing it into 6 posts! Please read it if you have the time to, it would mean a lot to me. JazakAllah Khair! My story starts in the June of 2009. Being the only child I was always very close to my parents, especially my mother. Alright, so my mother, who NEVER complained about anything started feeling this pain at the right side of her chest. She never really took it seriously, especially after she talked to her doctor sister (Aunt B) about it who said it's probably only a muscle spasm, she started ignoring it. But one day she had this thought in her mind that maybe she should get herself checked. Around the 10th of June, she got herself checked at a local laboratory! And the next day I can clearly say was the worst day of my life. I still remember every single detail about that day. I was in our room when I heard our main gate open, she walked in with the reports in her right hand and her eyes were swollen red crying. I rushed to her and asked what the reports said, and she said three words that literally changed my life forever, and i quote, "I have cancer". For a moment I was just blank. I didn't know what to say, I didn't know what to do! I wanted it to be a nightmare, anything, but not reality. After that I remember hearing Aunt S. cry and I ran to my room. I'm a very calm person by nature and I never display my emotions in front of other people. But that day, I remember well, I rushed to my room and cried and shouted and protested. I asked Allah why me? I asked him for mercy! Asked him for help, all the while screaming and crying! (I was only 14) My parents came into the room too. I could still hear my aunt crying outside. My mother sat with me (I was lying on the bed, my face in the pillows, crying!). She hugged me, kissed me but was at a loss of words. She was crying herself too but wanted me not to cry! My mother made me talk to my Aunt N. who herself had been through a lot in life but MashaAllah was a very optimistic person. She told me a lot of women that have breast cancer are doing perfectly fine so I don‘t need to worry. She said my mother will get cured and everything will be back to normal soon InshaAllah. That relieved me a little! On the 13th of June, we went to Aunt N’s house. The city she lived in was almost 6 hours away from ours, but it had a hospital that was well known for treating cancer patients. The first few days went fine. We would go to the hospital early in the morning and return back late. There were forms to be filled, payments to be made and rest of the formalities to be met. The tests showed she had a malignant cancer tumor (a cancerous tumor that can spread to other parts of the body from the part it originated) in her right breast. An operation to remove the tumor along with the nodes under her right arm was planned. The date of her surgery was finalized and she had her operation go on well Alhamdullilah. When she got home after the operation she had a tube inserted inside this hole that was made a little way under her arm to let out the discharge into this small ball that was attached to that tube. We had to empty the tube every time the liquid inside crossed a certain scale. It was a very painful process for me because the liquid had plenty of blood clots and what not inside. A few days after that she started getting her chemotherapy, (Chemotherapy has sessions after every 21 or so days. Every patient has a different sort of chemotherapy. Her’s was almost 4 drips every 21 days) Anyway, so she was getting her chemotherapy after the operation and she was losing her hair with every passing day due to it. She had extremely long and beautiful black hair MashaAllah. There came a time when she lost all the hair from her head and the hair of her eyebrows. We had to go to our village for Eid (like always) and we had to make her a wig because she didn’t want anyone other than our immediate family to know about her illness. She talked with everyone like nothing had happened and nobody got a clue about her illness. When there would be nobody in the room I would often see her rolling on the bed with pain, this time, in her stomach. We thought it was only chemotherapy’s side effect but the real story was different.