my wali and Mom said No without any valid reason

[Salem9022]

Salam 3laikum Wa Ra7matullahi Wa Barakatu,

I've been reading your case akhi I can fully Understand. Even though Im not Somali but Pakistani I can really relate to you.

If a Pakistani Guy Marries a White Girl or Non-South Asian Girl who is a Revert, Most of the Guys Family Would probably Accept it, Cause they think that she would have to Adopt to the Pakistani Culture and Dress like a Pakistani with the Shawar Kameez because the Guy would Force his Culture Upon her so she would have no other choise.

But if a Pakistan Girl Married a White Guy or a Non-South Asian Guy who is a Revert, Then Most Probably the Girls Family would never accept it cause they believe that the Guy would Force his culture and dress etc upon the Pakistani Girl. Cause they believe you are what you are because of your father. There is no Islam there Only their Countries Culture and Traditions in their Hearts.

This is Unfortantely the case with Many Muslim Majority Countries. Islam isn't their Priority but their culture and Traditions are. Its Great if Both Husband and Wife were of the Same culture so their Children would not be confused where they Belong. But that should'nt be the first Priority. It should be Islam and if the Husband and Wife practise the Sunnah Properly.

 

[ummi h]

assalamu aleykum (dont disobey your parents)

sr, i know you are in a sensitive situation....so whatever i say i hope im not upsetting you

sr have faith in allahs qadar, if its meant to be it will be... wathahi believe me sr, its happend to me....when allah the almighty decrees it for you it will be so easy and you will have a wonderfull marriage..

sr correct me if im wrong but your saying your in love with him, what is love sr? and how did the relationship even develope ,and were your parents aware of it....

sr whomever you think is a suitable spouse for you, you should always consult with someone you trust in the family..before it gets too far..both my parents were stubborn but the situation stayed in the family between us,. so no-one knew about it.....allhamdulilah i accepted my parents wishes, for the sake of allah... and it was hard but i knew deep down allah will plan something better for me and for you too sr inshallah.....please please sr dont rush your decision in haste..........for jannah is under your parents feet....wasalam

 

[Moataz G]

al salamo 3alikum sister..

look sister and listen carefully to what i say to you now.. i heard a trustful religion public speaker in egypt here said the following:

First Case:
" if your parents do not agree to your marriage with giving a clear reason" so DO NOT EVER EVER EVER marry someone and your parents are not satisfied and this is a golden rule in islam, and the islamic scientists make an exceptions if the father (or walli in general was not in his full conscinous and hi witness is not taken and he is a drinker and druger..and this exception is sooo rare among us alhamdulelah.

Second Case:

"your parents do not agree with no reason" then make the following:

1) use an intermediate person between you and your family (waseet) to speak to them (someone your parents like)..still not agree? then do..

2) tell your parents to be in your situtation and you in their situation and talk to them as you were the father and your parents were the girl who want to marry (this methode has been proved to work in most of times with youths)

still not agree? then listen carefully to this:
3) Revise your own self maybe they are right.. maybe you was mistaken in your choice ( just a safety step not all)

you find your self 100% in love with him and NO i didnt find myself mistaken!.. and my parents still not agree then listen carefully to this:

DO NOT EVER MARRY SOMEONE YOUR PARENTS ARE NOT CONVIENCED ABOUT!!! because the marriage baraka and charity in your life will lost.

and this words i heard them with my own ears from a religious public speaker who i trust.

and at last good luck and i wish your parents to be convenced about him (if god wants to) and pray isti5ara before each step you do with the intention that you wants your parents to agree your marriage.

 

[afraa]

Manshallah sister am sorry to be hearing something so horrible. I am currently going thru the same thing but its another tribe within the somali people. It is such a horrible culture and traditions that we somalis have. My father told me that if i married this guy that he would never talk to me again. Wallaahi all i do is cry and beg and ask allah(swt) for help.

May allah make it easy for you because i know what your going through.

salaam.

 

[user expired!]

:salam2:

Sister Slave of Arahman i have to very simple questions for you,

a) Do you parents need a valid excuse for them to say no! (in shariah terms).

b) It seems like you made a decission that you want to marry that person before you consented your, what did you think there reaction was going to be?

 

[nyerekareem]

:salam2:

I agree with Alkathiri. Just because some people prefer their own race that does not necessarily make them racist. We all have preferences. It's true, no race is better than another in Islam, but people try to marry someone close to their race or culture (culture that does not go against Islam).

InshAllah your parents agree, but If they don't....then they don't and I humbly advise you not to go against them. I'm sure they love you and wish you the best inshAllah.

:salam2:

why should the racial preference of the parents be what considers a good suitor or not? so what, he's not the same ethnicity. for the parents to say no because of something unimportant as race, is unislamic. you can't come up with one thing that would harm or endanger her because of the race of her husband. i swear, it's hard to believe people are still living in the stone age.

all of us here love the prophet and he was the best person to ever walk this globe. we all know he was arab. we know of his great character etc. if your daughter was for example pakistani, and she was interested in marrying him; would you have said no because he's an arab? i know that i would've let him marry my sister or daughter. search your heart, you know that it's not right to deny marriage for something stupid like race or tribe. never judge someone for something that they have no control over.

 

[Muslim18]

aslam o alikum
brothers and sisters, I am not sure why brother mabsoot and sister you said that, i think in Islam ther is no such thing as culture, we all are muslims and humans its not up to us to decide what works out or not, i think everyone has the right to get married to someone they love, and its not so easy to forget when you truly love someone.

:salam2:

Brother i think your missing the point i agree with you totally i would never say no on basis of race, tribe etc but parents do its a fact i live with all i am saying is to got about it in a responsible and in a religious manner meaning if they refuses by all means ask for a reason for the refusal but you not going to then get married behind their back without a wali as someone said NO Wali NO marriage i guess iam trying to point out dont lose you faith and dont jepordise your religion over something you cant control i.e. family views, mentality, colour because your deen is more important by all means marry i am 100% for it if it is done permissibly by the permission of her Wali, because i have heard many stories of girls running away to marry the man without the family knowing and this is at the fault of the family as the prophet said corruption will spread if you deny marriage from a pious spouse hope someone can refrence me inshallah

If i have said anything wrong please forgive me, May Allah forgive my mistakes ameen and guide us all ameen

 

[FaHooD]

Well this issue we cant deal with it it wrong but cultures and tradition lives in the arabian gulf countries

hope you best of luck