ok no one here understands the full story. first off, yes depression lowers my emaan, but its ok cause i know how to raise my emaan alhamdullilah. secondly, i went to na3ima's brother who is her wali, and he refused to talk to me to get to know me, he refused to talk to my imaam, my shaykh and people who know me. he flat out said cause we are from different cultures it will not work and he will not allow her to marry a non somali. also her mother lives in somalia so the chances of me meeting her are slim to none, not to mention first i have to become fluent in somali as she doesnt speak english. also, i moved to where i am after meeting na3ima in person when i came her to visit my cousin a year ago. i moved here a month ago, disowned by all my family except my mother because i wanted to marry a "black girl" i dont care cause this is my jihad, but the thing is i am beyond upset that i gave up alot to marry na3ima and her family denied me for the same thing i lost my family for. i am just now getting an apartment, found work, enrolled in college alhamdullilah and they dont care about this, they care about something i cant change, thats the color of my skin. this is ridiculous and the very reason we dont have a united ummah in the first place. wasnt arrogance the first sin? the one that made the shaytan fall? "am i not made of fire and him of clay?"... except they say am i not somali, and him an american, was i not raised muslim, but he was raised a kaffir. i could handle 'no you cant marry my sister cause youre a horrible person, or a bad muslim" if they could say wallahi they felt that i am a horrible person or a bad muslim, but they didnt even talk to me... khalaas what can i do but trust allah? na3ima, i cant promise everything will be alright, but i can promise that allah will justify it here or in the hereafter insha'allah.
my wali and Mom said No without any valid reason
- Thread starter Slave Of Ar-Ra7MaN
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slaveofAllah88
Slave of Allah (swt)
:salam2:
brother i totally agree with you, your r 100% correct, in the eyes of Allah (swt) everyone is the same i just really pray for you bro that everything works out ... I wud personally myself speak for you but i dont think her family wud even like to listen
this is not islam :astag: , this is kufr
thanks bro jazakum allahu khair
:salam2:
I feel sorry for you brother, It's true you can't change your skin color.
What they are doing is very wrong:astag:, we are all muslims, we are all sons of Adam Alayhi As Salam. When it comes to somalis, they dont like to mix with other people,faiths and cultures. there also many in somalia that dont let their daughters marry with a guy from another tribe can u believe it, even here in the west it may be common, May Allah guide the somalis and the muslims Ameen
May Allah protect and make it easy for you Ameen. I am somali and i cant speak somali fluently its too difficult for me.
Why do they say u r horrible? is it because u r white? or was non-muslim?
Brother Allah is testing u, those who are tested in this dunya are good muslims while those having it easy here must try to be a better muslim there was a hadeeth abt this!
TheKnowledgeSeeker
A Believer In Heart
Assalamu Alaykum,
Duas and a lot of patience will get you where you want insha'Allah.
Duas and a lot of patience will get you where you want insha'Allah.
Asssalamu alaykum,,
Yes, we all know that what they are doing is wrong in ISlaam,
I posted earlier about this, but, I think it is advisable for people to be realistic and do the mature thing and move on. I have to be blunt here, but the world is not going to end if you both dont marry each other.
It is better to think carefully about the future and do what will have less impact upon you.
I know people got married in similar circumstances, and it is very difficult, a lot of these marriages do not succeed even when both the husband/wife are somewhat religious.
wasalam
Edit: Its due to the pressures put on the family, obviously, not good. But, what can we do, if family doesnt listen? and it is best to lessen the hardship on you both.
Yes, we all know that what they are doing is wrong in ISlaam,
I posted earlier about this, but, I think it is advisable for people to be realistic and do the mature thing and move on. I have to be blunt here, but the world is not going to end if you both dont marry each other.
It is better to think carefully about the future and do what will have less impact upon you.
I know people got married in similar circumstances, and it is very difficult, a lot of these marriages do not succeed even when both the husband/wife are somewhat religious.
wasalam
Edit: Its due to the pressures put on the family, obviously, not good. But, what can we do, if family doesnt listen? and it is best to lessen the hardship on you both.
Muslim18
Blessed Muslimah
:salam2:
i agree with you but as brother mabsoot said you have to be realistic in this situation i am also from a somali background and i know how hard headed we can be its hurts me to see this happening to two nice people like yourselves but the somali mentality is very hard to break or change may Allah guide us all but this is what i know from my exprience i dont know much of the language but i understand they wont allow it...one of my relative is married to an African women, they refer to her and her husband as the one who married the black women
its sad they are spoken about in this way.
but i think if you and naima have a bond which is strong and you fear bad things may happen speak to the brother or imam about this situation dont wait until its out of control.....if its avoidable try not to have much contact with eachother until you reach better understanding with her brothers try and befriend them inshallah but i will make dua for you inshallah i hope everything goes well just pray to Allah the he show them the right way
but this is all advice i suggest you think more and pray to Allah to make your affairs easy...
i agree with you but as brother mabsoot said you have to be realistic in this situation i am also from a somali background and i know how hard headed we can be its hurts me to see this happening to two nice people like yourselves but the somali mentality is very hard to break or change may Allah guide us all but this is what i know from my exprience i dont know much of the language but i understand they wont allow it...one of my relative is married to an African women, they refer to her and her husband as the one who married the black women
its sad they are spoken about in this way.but i think if you and naima have a bond which is strong and you fear bad things may happen speak to the brother or imam about this situation dont wait until its out of control.....if its avoidable try not to have much contact with eachother until you reach better understanding with her brothers try and befriend them inshallah but i will make dua for you inshallah i hope everything goes well just pray to Allah the he show them the right way
but this is all advice i suggest you think more and pray to Allah to make your affairs easy...
slaveofAllah88
Slave of Allah (swt)
aslam o alikum
brothers and sisters, I am not sure why brother mabsoot and sister you said that, i think in Islam ther is no such thing as culture, we all are muslims and humans its not up to us to decide what works out or not, i think everyone has the right to get married to someone they love, and its not so easy to forget when you truly love someone.
brothers and sisters, I am not sure why brother mabsoot and sister you said that, i think in Islam ther is no such thing as culture, we all are muslims and humans its not up to us to decide what works out or not, i think everyone has the right to get married to someone they love, and its not so easy to forget when you truly love someone.
slave_of_Allah
Junior Member
You don't always get what you want, and whatever you do get, in this case WHOEVER you get, it is the best for you. If only we knew this. I pray Allah helps us all to bare patience with whatever He has ALREADY decided for us. Aameen.
You may think you know what love is, but only Allah knows whether that love is going to last in the future. With Allah is all the answers.
You may think you know what love is, but only Allah knows whether that love is going to last in the future. With Allah is all the answers.
nyerekareem
abdur-rahman
:salam2:
sadly this happens very often. i myself have been a victim of it. it's particularly harder for reverts seeking marriage. the reasons are because there are some muslims that feel that born muslims are better than reverts, that the revert is only reverting or had reverted just for their daughter, and lastly the revert isn't trusted, i also forgot to mention race.
this is a bad thing because it causes revert muslim men to get discouraged and seek non-muslim women for marriage. now you may say that's not too bad because muslim men can marry women from the people of the book, but consider this: most christian women aren't really practicing their deen and aren't waiting for marriage before they begin having sexual relationships. this puts the muslims in a dilemma because he can't find a muslim wife yet he can find a non muslim one but will most likely end up committing zinaa due to the fact that the average american woman has slept with at least 4 men before the age of 21. on top of that, christians and jews don't marry fast like muslims do. they have to date for about 2-4 years before they even get engaged and then another year or so for the actual wedding.
that's why i say that the terrible situations like in gaza, darfur, kashmir, bosnia and other places will continue to go on; because we can't even resolve the simplest of issues like race or sunni or shia. if the ummah just consisted of one race maybe it could; but it isn't so that means that we all have to stick together.
sadly this happens very often. i myself have been a victim of it. it's particularly harder for reverts seeking marriage. the reasons are because there are some muslims that feel that born muslims are better than reverts, that the revert is only reverting or had reverted just for their daughter, and lastly the revert isn't trusted, i also forgot to mention race.
this is a bad thing because it causes revert muslim men to get discouraged and seek non-muslim women for marriage. now you may say that's not too bad because muslim men can marry women from the people of the book, but consider this: most christian women aren't really practicing their deen and aren't waiting for marriage before they begin having sexual relationships. this puts the muslims in a dilemma because he can't find a muslim wife yet he can find a non muslim one but will most likely end up committing zinaa due to the fact that the average american woman has slept with at least 4 men before the age of 21. on top of that, christians and jews don't marry fast like muslims do. they have to date for about 2-4 years before they even get engaged and then another year or so for the actual wedding.
that's why i say that the terrible situations like in gaza, darfur, kashmir, bosnia and other places will continue to go on; because we can't even resolve the simplest of issues like race or sunni or shia. if the ummah just consisted of one race maybe it could; but it isn't so that means that we all have to stick together.
slaveofAllah88
Slave of Allah (swt)
:salam2:
sadly this happens very often. i myself have been a victim of it. it's particularly harder for reverts seeking marriage. the reasons are because there are some muslims that feel that born muslims are better than reverts, that the revert is only reverting or had reverted just for their daughter, and lastly the revert isn't trusted, i also forgot to mention race.
this is a bad thing because it causes revert muslim men to get discouraged and seek non-muslim women for marriage. now you may say that's not too bad because muslim men can marry women from the people of the book, but consider this: most christian women aren't really practicing their deen and aren't waiting for marriage before they begin having sexual relationships. this puts the muslims in a dilemma because he can't find a muslim wife yet he can find a non muslim one but will most likely end up committing zinaa due to the fact that the average american woman has slept with at least 4 men before the age of 21. on top of that, christians and jews don't marry fast like muslims do. they have to date for about 2-4 years before they even get engaged and then another year or so for the actual wedding.
that's why i say that the terrible situations like in gaza, darfur, kashmir, bosnia and other places will continue to go on; because we can't even resolve the simplest of issues like race or sunni or shia. if the ummah just consisted of one race maybe it could; but it isn't so that means that we all have to stick together.
:salam2:
exactly brother everyone keeps on disagreeing with me BUT this is not Islam, where does it say we shud only marry within our culture, it annoys me so much cuz Prophet Muhammed (PBUH) made his final speech especially about racism to protect us from this stupid things like i cant believe how can someone say that marriage only this culture work thats just not right and brother nayakareem is right, I have a really good friend, who is probably interested in Islam, but knowing that musims cant date, i told her that in Islam we can know the guy while someone is with us but later she told me that how is she suppose to get married as a muslim revert when all muslim guyz are only allowed to marry girl from their country .... And i think we all got OUR CULTURE to thank that has become so integrated with non-muslim ideas that we cant even realize it, e.g. Pakistani and Indian muslims have become to close to hindu traditions ... I wish we wud go back to being muslims instead of being Pakistani, Indian, Somali, indonesia, malaysian etc etc
I hope everyone doesn't critize me and understand the point me and brother nayakareem are making
I think we need to help our parents realize we r all musims
palestine
Servant of Allah
Asalamu alaykum wrwb! oh my Allah! brother this is so wrong! i know many somalis are very cultured and do not accept races outside of their culture (cause i'm somali too. lol) but anyways, i think we could help change the ways and ideas of this brother who refused to let you marry his sister, and also his mother...so the below videos are in somali, and they are about tribalism and racism, which honestly you're facing right now. and it mentions about refusing to let people marry because of their culture. so somehow you and na3ima can figure out how to make this lecture or show this lecture to the brothers( maybe she can). i'm hoping and praying that this will be enough to convince them. asalamu alaykum
i STRONGLY SUGGEST that you somehow or na3ima make the family watch this...inshaallah, inshaAllah, InshaAllah, InshaAllah it will not fail and inshaAllah Allah will turn their hearts around and help them see the truth. however, YOU BOTH MUST STAY STRONG, DON'T LET YOUR IMAAN WEAKEN AND DO NOT, DO NOT, DO NOT GIVE UP.
i truely and sincerely believe that you will both be justified. asalamu alaykum wrwb
[yt]B6IPub99S-M&feature=related[/yt]
palestine
Servant of Allah
SubhanAllah, i've seen some replies here that are discouraging these two young people to just "move on" or "be realistic"....subhanaAllah, we should never EVER despair of the mercy and hope of Allah. the parents or the wali may so not agree today, but Allah swt is able to make the impossible possible. I'm not saying that the sister and brother should elope together but i'm saying do not give up yet. What would happen to all of us if we all gave up on something we truly believed in? It's not easy to just move on, because the person's heart is probably and most likely wounded. I know that if i were in love, that i would probably not move on as many have stated because it would be difficult to do so. We all want to spend our lives with someone whom we CARE ABOUT AND LOVE. This brother and sister are not the first ones to have gone through this, many before them had to face it as well...but they didn't give up. they continued to pursuade their parents and families and eventually ended up together. It's not easy to pursue a dream such as this...but you can keep going and trying and with the duas and prayers of other muslims here on tti it will inshaAllah succeed. I will include you in my duas and prayers. and i disagree that marriages fail just because the two are from different backgrounds. Marriages usually fail because the two partners are not really caring about each other, or either they use CULTURE to try and get around life, but if the two use DEENIL ISLAM as their source of guidance and hope, then they will not fail. It has become common in my city for whites and somalis to get married, and many of the marriages have been successful. i know of many couples such as i mentioned right now, who have 4-5 children.
so ukhti and akhi fillah....DO NOT GIVE UP because Allah's mercy and hope is abundant. but also do not grieve or be saddened because if you two are meant to be, NO ONE, NOT EVEN THE STRONGEST ARMY CAN STOP YOU but if you're not meant to be then none can make you be together. only Allah's plan will take place. so keep in mind that WHATEVER happens, it is for THE BEST, because Allah made it so. Put alot of effort into this issue...but also remember to trust in Allah, wake up in the middle of the night and pray...and by the grace of Allah that which is khayr will take place.
Asalamu alaykum wrwb.
ps: don't let the discouragements of others put you down...everything is worth a try. you will never know what could've been if you've never put effort into this. Even if the marriage doesn't work out, don't think it's because of your culture but simply it was decreed. Many will use the excuse that you two should not get married because of cultural differences such as etiquettes, food, clothing or language barrier....but you can overcome this inshaAllah, not over night of course but inshaAllah you both will...so HANG TIGHT TO THE ROPE OF ALLAH AZA WAJALA. ASALAMU ALAYKUM WRWB.
so ukhti and akhi fillah....DO NOT GIVE UP because Allah's mercy and hope is abundant. but also do not grieve or be saddened because if you two are meant to be, NO ONE, NOT EVEN THE STRONGEST ARMY CAN STOP YOU but if you're not meant to be then none can make you be together. only Allah's plan will take place. so keep in mind that WHATEVER happens, it is for THE BEST, because Allah made it so. Put alot of effort into this issue...but also remember to trust in Allah, wake up in the middle of the night and pray...and by the grace of Allah that which is khayr will take place.
Asalamu alaykum wrwb.
ps: don't let the discouragements of others put you down...everything is worth a try. you will never know what could've been if you've never put effort into this. Even if the marriage doesn't work out, don't think it's because of your culture but simply it was decreed. Many will use the excuse that you two should not get married because of cultural differences such as etiquettes, food, clothing or language barrier....but you can overcome this inshaAllah, not over night of course but inshaAllah you both will...so HANG TIGHT TO THE ROPE OF ALLAH AZA WAJALA. ASALAMU ALAYKUM WRWB.
alkathiri
As-Shafaa'i(Brother)
Waalaykumsalam Warahmatullah
Listen to your parents. There are not wrong in choosing for you their race . You have to take note even though your parents prefer for you your race , that does not mean they are saying your race is better than the white and hence you do not have to quote that hadith about race.
No Wali, no marriage....
Listen to your parents. There are not wrong in choosing for you their race . You have to take note even though your parents prefer for you your race , that does not mean they are saying your race is better than the white and hence you do not have to quote that hadith about race.
No Wali, no marriage....
Musulmanin
Junior Member
:salam2:
I agree with Alkathiri. Just because some people prefer their own race that does not necessarily make them racist. We all have preferences. It's true, no race is better than another in Islam, but people try to marry someone close to their race or culture (culture that does not go against Islam).
InshAllah your parents agree, but If they don't....then they don't and I humbly advise you not to go against them. I'm sure they love you and wish you the best inshAllah.
Qur'an&Sunnah
Traveler
:salam2:
SubhanaAllah I have been reading this topic for awhile, and Ya Allah how many times does this happen in life, MashaAllah. My advice and I hope it is good advice InshaAllah. Many people who are in love tend to not see the point of view from their parents. First of all, I believe and I could be wrong, they are not out to hurt you (your parents I mean), they love you, so they are trying to protect and trying to give you what's best, or what they think it best. They could be wrong but throughout your life you only have one mother and one father, and Allah (SWT) says lower the wing of humility to your parents. If your parents are not telling you to commit shirk then your good.
Another thing about this is we as Muslims or just people never see that we bring certain things onto ourselves. I am not saying this toward ANYONE please do not take it out of context, InshaAllah. I'm trying to say before marriage some Muslim men and women talk without a wali, this is haraam. When you talk before marriage all you are doing is digging a hole for yourself, meaning you are creating feelings for this person and these feelings get deeper and deeper until you...burst
But if we follow how Allah (SWT) has taught us to get married then we would not be in these situations because we would not have feelings for the other person because we don't know them, so when our parents say no then we can be like okay. For instance, my friend, she is from India. Her parents found a guy for her to marry. Her wali and herself went to talk to the man and she did not prefer him so she said no, why? Because she had no feelings for him because she did the right thing. How can we anger Allah (SWT) by doing the wrong thing then want Him to help us? SubhanaAllah we must be careful of shayteen surely he is our clear enemy.
Another thing, Prophet Muhammad (SAW) married Saffiyah Bint Huyaay and she was hebrew (a jew) NOT ARAB, so of course there is nothing wrong with marrying outside of your race, but sometimes marrying outside your race is hard. Why? Because you go into that marriage with your customs and he comes into the marriage with his customs and they probably will clash, which will perhaps cause some problems so no it's not haraam marrying outside your race but sometimes it's difficult. I know because my sister married an Albanian, Alhamdullilah they been married for two years and everything is good Alhamdullilah but when she first married him somethings were hard to get use to because the different cultures, but just make Dua'a and InshaAllah Allah will help you. Ameen.
Lastly, the only thing you could do is have trust in Allah (Tawakal3laAllah). Allah (SWT) says in the Qur'an that you may like a thing but it is not good for you and you may dislike a thing but it is good for you. Only Allah know the unseen, so we should really put our Trust in Him and continuously turn to Him and make Dua'a. Then make Salatul Istikhara, if you get a good sign then be patient perhaps Allah will bring you to together, but you first have to do what Allah wants and loves (like not talking before marriage and being patient) then Allah will reward you. In life we go through trials and we must be patient. We should not be like the people Allah (SWT) describe in Surah Al-Fajr when He says when He is generous and favors a man the man say my Lord has honoured me, but when he restricts His provision from me the man says my Lord has forsaken or humiliated me.
With All of that said, InshaAllah if I said what is right then it is from Allah, and if I gave wrong advice it was from myself and may Allah forgive me. Again I did not write this to upset anyone nor to argue, nor to make anyone cry, but the truth is the truth and in order to be successful in the dunya and Akhira we have to adhere to Allah and the Sunnah, and the Sunnah is a marriage is invalid without the wali. I hope one day everyone sees that what is with Allah is better than love on this Earth. We should strive to gain the love of Allah first in order to make it to Jannatul Firdous and then once we have achieved that Great Achievement then we could have whatever pleases our eyes and whatever our hearts desire. I'm telling you this dunya is nothing, we must wake up and see that. I'm sorry for rambling, but may Allah Guides us All Ameen.
And sister if Allah want you to get married to this brother, and he is a good brother and a good muslim and you would be happy with him then May Allah grant you him and may Allah bless your marriage. Ameen. Ameen.
SubhanaAllah I have been reading this topic for awhile, and Ya Allah how many times does this happen in life, MashaAllah. My advice and I hope it is good advice InshaAllah. Many people who are in love tend to not see the point of view from their parents. First of all, I believe and I could be wrong, they are not out to hurt you (your parents I mean), they love you, so they are trying to protect and trying to give you what's best, or what they think it best. They could be wrong but throughout your life you only have one mother and one father, and Allah (SWT) says lower the wing of humility to your parents. If your parents are not telling you to commit shirk then your good.
Another thing about this is we as Muslims or just people never see that we bring certain things onto ourselves. I am not saying this toward ANYONE please do not take it out of context, InshaAllah. I'm trying to say before marriage some Muslim men and women talk without a wali, this is haraam. When you talk before marriage all you are doing is digging a hole for yourself, meaning you are creating feelings for this person and these feelings get deeper and deeper until you...burst
But if we follow how Allah (SWT) has taught us to get married then we would not be in these situations because we would not have feelings for the other person because we don't know them, so when our parents say no then we can be like okay. For instance, my friend, she is from India. Her parents found a guy for her to marry. Her wali and herself went to talk to the man and she did not prefer him so she said no, why? Because she had no feelings for him because she did the right thing. How can we anger Allah (SWT) by doing the wrong thing then want Him to help us? SubhanaAllah we must be careful of shayteen surely he is our clear enemy.Another thing, Prophet Muhammad (SAW) married Saffiyah Bint Huyaay and she was hebrew (a jew) NOT ARAB, so of course there is nothing wrong with marrying outside of your race, but sometimes marrying outside your race is hard. Why? Because you go into that marriage with your customs and he comes into the marriage with his customs and they probably will clash, which will perhaps cause some problems so no it's not haraam marrying outside your race but sometimes it's difficult. I know because my sister married an Albanian, Alhamdullilah they been married for two years and everything is good Alhamdullilah but when she first married him somethings were hard to get use to because the different cultures, but just make Dua'a and InshaAllah Allah will help you. Ameen.
Lastly, the only thing you could do is have trust in Allah (Tawakal3laAllah). Allah (SWT) says in the Qur'an that you may like a thing but it is not good for you and you may dislike a thing but it is good for you. Only Allah know the unseen, so we should really put our Trust in Him and continuously turn to Him and make Dua'a. Then make Salatul Istikhara, if you get a good sign then be patient perhaps Allah will bring you to together, but you first have to do what Allah wants and loves (like not talking before marriage and being patient) then Allah will reward you. In life we go through trials and we must be patient. We should not be like the people Allah (SWT) describe in Surah Al-Fajr when He says when He is generous and favors a man the man say my Lord has honoured me, but when he restricts His provision from me the man says my Lord has forsaken or humiliated me.
With All of that said, InshaAllah if I said what is right then it is from Allah, and if I gave wrong advice it was from myself and may Allah forgive me. Again I did not write this to upset anyone nor to argue, nor to make anyone cry, but the truth is the truth and in order to be successful in the dunya and Akhira we have to adhere to Allah and the Sunnah, and the Sunnah is a marriage is invalid without the wali. I hope one day everyone sees that what is with Allah is better than love on this Earth. We should strive to gain the love of Allah first in order to make it to Jannatul Firdous and then once we have achieved that Great Achievement then we could have whatever pleases our eyes and whatever our hearts desire. I'm telling you this dunya is nothing, we must wake up and see that. I'm sorry for rambling, but may Allah Guides us All Ameen.
And sister if Allah want you to get married to this brother, and he is a good brother and a good muslim and you would be happy with him then May Allah grant you him and may Allah bless your marriage. Ameen. Ameen.
slaveofAllah88
Slave of Allah (swt)
aslam o alikum,
brother beautiful answers, I just would like to say something see the problem here is that her parents r not even willing to see the guy or talk to him, so you cant say that her parents r beiing fair in doing the right thing cuz we all shud be tested in Imaan, Correct? I think there is a hadith where Prophet Muhammed (PBUH) said we should pick the women, i think it implies to man to based on their imaan.
i present you a claim to show that us muslims have drifted from our path, im a Pakistani, i have marriages that been done between a Pakistani, and a Indian hindu revert, No one sees a fault in that, WHY? cuz we have same culture, in alot of cases they wont even look at her imaan, hey she speaks urdu/hindi great, she wears shalwaar kameez great, she is of the same skin color great, she cooks same food great no where ever will they ask OH how much knowledge of Islam she has, usually it goes oh over time it will come.
BUTTT if a Pakistani guy tries to marry a White girl or non south asian girl who is a revert too, it becomes a huge case, people use racist comments like Look he/she is marrying a white person. There are many sisters here who are mashallah great muslims, i have to admit alot of reverts appreciate Islam alot better than many muslims, if a person sincerely reverts than he/she means it, But the parents will say NO or create so many problems cuz she is white, even thou, she might be willing to wear shalwaar kameez, cook the food, trying to learn the language but NO just cuz she is WHITE its such a big deal
Now my muslims friends this brother and sister are trying to be together but i feel like alot of people are telling them things that they shudn't BUT I feel like we should instead be helping culture mix, cuz see when we meet each other we say oh im Pakistani, Oh im Indian, Oh in Saudi, ON im Irani etc etc Barely anyone says aslam o alikum im a muslim, this was one of the point that sister Monica makes in her video here on TTI
thx hope it wasn't too long
brother beautiful answers, I just would like to say something see the problem here is that her parents r not even willing to see the guy or talk to him, so you cant say that her parents r beiing fair in doing the right thing cuz we all shud be tested in Imaan, Correct? I think there is a hadith where Prophet Muhammed (PBUH) said we should pick the women, i think it implies to man to based on their imaan.
i present you a claim to show that us muslims have drifted from our path, im a Pakistani, i have marriages that been done between a Pakistani, and a Indian hindu revert, No one sees a fault in that, WHY? cuz we have same culture, in alot of cases they wont even look at her imaan, hey she speaks urdu/hindi great, she wears shalwaar kameez great, she is of the same skin color great, she cooks same food great no where ever will they ask OH how much knowledge of Islam she has, usually it goes oh over time it will come.
BUTTT if a Pakistani guy tries to marry a White girl or non south asian girl who is a revert too, it becomes a huge case, people use racist comments like Look he/she is marrying a white person. There are many sisters here who are mashallah great muslims, i have to admit alot of reverts appreciate Islam alot better than many muslims, if a person sincerely reverts than he/she means it, But the parents will say NO or create so many problems cuz she is white, even thou, she might be willing to wear shalwaar kameez, cook the food, trying to learn the language but NO just cuz she is WHITE its such a big deal
Now my muslims friends this brother and sister are trying to be together but i feel like alot of people are telling them things that they shudn't BUT I feel like we should instead be helping culture mix, cuz see when we meet each other we say oh im Pakistani, Oh im Indian, Oh in Saudi, ON im Irani etc etc Barely anyone says aslam o alikum im a muslim, this was one of the point that sister Monica makes in her video here on TTI
thx hope it wasn't too long
Qur'an&Sunnah
Traveler
:salam2:
Oh I totally agree, like I said The Prophet (SAW) married outside of his culture. The thing is is that people are not following the Qur'an and Sunnah they are living their culture. Ok, it's fine if you culture coincides with Islam but when it doesn't then there is a problem.
The problem with her parents not even seeing him, then Allahu Alam. You have to make dua'a. I mean what else is there to do? Unless you have a brother who is willing to take the job as your wali, or you have an Uncle willing to do so, but other than that what could you really do? The only thing is leave it up to Allah and be patient. I was actually at the masjid on Thursday listening to a lecture and it was about the Marriage Contract. He said there are three conditions: The default wali is her father unless he is dead, or if he entrusts this job to someone he think is fit, or you can change your wali if he rejects the man wrongfully. If I am wrong please forgive but this is what I heard.
SubhanaAllah this is a complicated situation but Allah says with Hardship there is ease. So after you go through this trial there will be ease because Allah has promised us that and He never breaks his promise. Ameen May Allah strengthen you sis and grant you patience Ameen. Keep turning to Allah every day.
:salam2:
Oh I totally agree, like I said The Prophet (SAW) married outside of his culture. The thing is is that people are not following the Qur'an and Sunnah they are living their culture. Ok, it's fine if you culture coincides with Islam but when it doesn't then there is a problem.
The problem with her parents not even seeing him, then Allahu Alam. You have to make dua'a. I mean what else is there to do? Unless you have a brother who is willing to take the job as your wali, or you have an Uncle willing to do so, but other than that what could you really do? The only thing is leave it up to Allah and be patient. I was actually at the masjid on Thursday listening to a lecture and it was about the Marriage Contract. He said there are three conditions: The default wali is her father unless he is dead, or if he entrusts this job to someone he think is fit, or you can change your wali if he rejects the man wrongfully. If I am wrong please forgive but this is what I heard.
SubhanaAllah this is a complicated situation but Allah says with Hardship there is ease. So after you go through this trial there will be ease because Allah has promised us that and He never breaks his promise. Ameen May Allah strengthen you sis and grant you patience Ameen. Keep turning to Allah every day.
:salam2: