need advice/example

[ummyasiin]

As salaamu Alaikum,
I would like to hear from ppl (muslims) with boys in specific but with daughers as well who do not live in Islamic country or community...
I have a 11yr old son who understands tawheed to his limited understanding, How ever I cant seem to instill the importance of prayer and studying islam vs wanting to play on IMVU and other online games, I know Allah(SWT) has order to beat them at 10yr if not, however I cant grasp the concept of hitting my kids, my husband says I punish him for not getting good grades in school but find it harsh to punish him for not obeying Allah, woow, hearing that opened my eyes, however, I jus dont know what to do...I dont want him to not be muslim in the heart, however I dont want him as confortable with the life of this dunya, wii games, xbox,etc I do spoli them and my husband says thats part of the issue, he has organized diff methods for me that I instill for maybe a couple of days and than it fades too black, he does enjoy jumah I can say,,, any experience with this?? what did you do?:shymuslima1:

 

[slaveofAllah88]

aslam o alikum sister,

i dont really fall into the category of guy with kids but i know i was kinda similar around that age, what really brought me close to islam was understanding it how it fits into the 21st century and realizing its not just something our parents force us to do its a part of life and can easily be embeded alot of kids dont think much about Allah (swt) and Islam at that age so u shud spend more time with them and slowly show them how islam is a part of life and everything that Allah has ordained on us is for a reason, i do that with my youngest bro he is around 13 yr old, just the other day he started borrowing islamic books from me to read about miracles of Quran and other stuff so ALhumdulilah, its a good start Mashallah

i hope things go good with you, and your family imaan stays strong and ur under the shelter of Allah and his religion - ameen

 

[ummyasiin]

shurkan, I apreciate your in put

 

[revert2007]

i remember a story my husband used to tell me.there was a father who met a religious man and asked him how he can raise his child.the religious man asked how old is ur son and the father replied my son is 1 1/2 years old.then with a sigh the religion man said it's too late to raise ur child.

raising child and modelling his behaviour should be before 1 year old.

and in the case of teaching religion should start at a very young age.we cant force our kids when they are grown up
.i myself have the same experience but not with my son but with my husband's nephew who is 11 years old as well and do not pray.and same goes to his 1st nephew who is 18 years old

it all depend on how the parents bring up the kids....
we should instill the knowledge of islam since in the womb..

u can only make him pray when he is fear of Allah and loves Allah and His religion...

he might pray infront of u just coz u forced him but u cant assure that he prays for Allah....

show him some videos on youtube abou Allah's miracle,tell him the stories of prophet.take him to mosque and do da'wah to ur own son

 

[pushtoonafgani]

do not worry he will change

Dear ummyasin,

ur son is not mature yet,but u can change him through letting him know islamic stories.if u beat him for prayers he may offer his prayer as long as he has stick in his mind.put the fear of Allah in his mind,put the fear of day of judgement.let him know the reality.my father was very strict regarding prayers,he always wanted me and my brothers and sisters to offer prayers at that time i was not much familiar with islam because i was kid i offered my prayer fearing my father,but when i got knoledge of islam i offer prayer just because Allah has ordained it.and it is the fear of Allah that is driving me towards my religious duties.islamic stories are interesting and full of lessons,they will Insha Allah change his life.

 

[ditta]

As-salaamu'Alaykum wa'Rahmatullaah,

Insha'Allaah my advice will be of use.

I am not a kid but I do remember a few things that Insha'Allaah would have helped me when I was young.

I was told that I would have to learn to read the Qur'aan, so I started on the alphabet and so on but I failed to comprehend the reason as to why I was learning this because I didn't understand any of it. The question was always why? I then stopped learning as my Mum who would teach me then stopped. During all this I would hear people saying, my son has read the Qur'aan 5 times, my son has read it 10 times and so on. That didn't help.

I think you should as previously advised read some beautiful stories of the Prophet Muhammad , the Companions and those after them. Subhaan'Allaah, when I read these stories I wished I had read them when I was young.

Read to him stories of the people of the past and their fear of Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala).

For example, an excellent book called Stories of Repentance, if you do a search on the forum you should be able to find it. I read one of the stories to my brother's next door neigbour's daughter who wanted to hear a story from the said book, she is 9 years old, I read to her (from what I can remember) the story of the robber who was going to steal from Malik bin Dinar (I think). Masha'Allaah I could see a tear in her eye after I read it to her.

Also, educate your son as to why we pray, the reasons for it, the benefit and how it relates to the Hereafter. Then Insha'Allaah he will pray with the intention of pleasing Allah and not praying out of displeasing you.

It all comes back to the Fear of Allaah.

Insha'Allaah, then if you notice changes then you can incorporate the learning of how to read the Qur'aan correctly or include it when you see fit. Oh, a English translation of the Qur'aan is important as well, so he can pick it up and read it himself, Insha'Allaah.

May Allaah make this easy for you.

Insha'Allaah, you will get advice from parents who are experienced in bringing up children.

I guess this is a view from a child's perspective.

Walaykum Salaam wa'Rahmatullaah.

 

[a_stranger]

:salam2:
I think it is very helpfull to be a friend to your son , share his intrests ....May be if you start playing with him for a while he will pray with you when you pray ......tell him about Allah swt that he is our creattor and we should obey him and pray to him. i think that it is very important that you make him love Allah swt and understand that we are created to worship him.....Don`t be in a hurry ....be calm and tell him prepare a gift for him if he start praying regularly .....I pray that Allah guide us and your son to a straight path.

 

[ummyasiin]

shurkran to you all, I took the advice, and he loved the story of Abraham and hs sons, the zam zam story, however I allowd him to have knowledge of the signs if the last days and NOW hes afraid of the house because of the gog and magog and the beast its funny but not funny , mashallah,....I will keep trying and keep the ideas coming. may Allah reward you well. ameen

 

[rightpath_357]

Oh- I might be a bit late- but i have a good idea. is he active? try to persude him to go outside and have fun sometimes. that will get him more active and make it easier for you to get him to pray. also- putting him in a halaqa for preteen boys might be good too. u might find a halaaqa like that at a masjid. they have the learning u want- but fun activities too:muslim_child: