i also just lost my fiance in an accident ten months ago, after which i have started praying more regularly and asking allah for his mercy every minute!. i have been more upset because this was my second engagement as my previous engagement did not work out and was called off in a month!, still a lot of people kept talking about it which affected me a lot, i finally met this boy after 2 years and thought he was going to be the one! but unfortunately that ill fated day came when he died in a road accident when he was coming to meet me from a different city!. i believe he was a shaheed,as i read somewhere that a person dying during a journey goes to jannah and dies the death of a martyr, but in either case, allah subhanawatallah knows best! and i cannot judge, i can just pray for him and hope he is jannati! i think of him every time i even shut my eyes to talk to allah..i even went for umrah during ramdhan this year, mashallah, and performed six umrahs asking allah to give him all the sawab!. i have started looking at life positively even though i have severe bouts of depression more than often, i think of him all the time and cry a lot because i know eachday after his death could have been different if the accident did not happen! i want to know if the dead know they are dead?. and could this accident have been avoided?. is fate predecided or allah keeps changing it according to prayers?. does nazar (evil eyes) lead to death?. because my fiance and i had a lot of evil eyes and nazar!. i prayed very little then!. which i regret! but sometimes i am confused with allahs plans because he was the best i could have imagined!he was an angel at heart and the most amazing person iv met till date, infact i always thought how lucky i was to have him!. life has become so different now.. . please help me
Dear sister Sadia
:salam2:
It really breaks my heart to know your story. I am not saying this because its just a sentence that i need to fill this space with and it seems appropriate, i am saying this because I know of a similar story, believe me and its all true. It will briefly tell you of great love, absolute depression after that and intervention of Allah's mercy.
I personally know of a person who was engaged to a young woman, a couple of years ago, he never knew before. She was charming, beautiful and very self aware. It was an arranged engagement, as it is obvious but it was more a case of instant love between the two. The guy was polite, caring, loving and considerate as i know him. The girl was very intelligent, wise and mature. They spent a few months being engaged and would communicate with each other using phone (i wouldn't say that it was right but they were both decent and islamically aware of their boundaries). To cut to the chase, they just knew they were for one another. But suddenly, everything started to crumble. They started having arguments in a way that after each argument none of the 2 would know what were they fighting about. It was shaytan between the 2 of them, putting 'waswas' in their respective hearts. The arguments reached such a level that the engagement was called off and all that was left was profuse crying on both sides. They never again contacted each other for months but prayed sincerely to be together again. After a long time, Allah with his infinite mercy, softened their hearts to the point where the families of the 2 sat together and decided, with the consent of the guy and the girl that they should get back together and married as soon as possible and they are inshallah going ahead with it.
In your case, your fiance was killed in a road accident (may Allah have mercy on him) so he cant come back although you knew he was 'the one' for you. Let me make something absolutely clear, none in this world can change the time of death that has been written by Allah. Yes, 'nazar' can create the greatest of problems but death is always pre ordained. Prayers can change what Allah wills but not death or life as i know it, i am sorry i dont have reference for it. I have read in a book (i am sorry i have a very bad memmory and lots of heavy things on my mind now so cant remember anything right) that before her marriage to Muhammad (saw), Umm ul momineen, Um-e-salma's husband was very kind and very good to her and when he was no more, she used to think that how could she ever find someone as good as Abu Salma again and you know what Allah gave her? Allah had ordained her to marry Muhammad (saw), the best man among all people. You loved him, so pray for him but dont give up hope, you could not have thwarted his death. I have no more to say, may Allah have his mercy on you and descend his tranquility on to your heart, aameen...
, you brother...
