As salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wabrakatuhu sister
I can understand your situation. It happens with most of us now a days as it shows how the Muslim Youth is making their Eeman and the bond with Allah SUbhanahu Wa Taala more stronger.
Remember that your parents are not forcing you to stop praying, so pray and make duas more Insha Allah Taala. Make duas for your parents so that they realise what you are doing is correct and not old style.
More than 1400 years have passed, Islam has the complete guidance for any and every kind of situation, starting from daily lives, our moral character and behaviour , our relation with our parents, relatives. We should be aware of the fact that Islam calls for priority rather than doing anything. We need to make the Ummah strong, which is in great disaster. We have to be a helping hand for the Muslims.
Marriage is not going to stop you from pursuing higher education. Marriage is itself a blessing from Allah SUbhanahu Wa Taala. But you have to consider many factors before taking such a serious decision. Consult with the sisters out here.
Now a days, there are online educational courses, degree courses etc etc. I hope Malaysia has them all. Just need to search a bit. This is a test of your Eeman and patience. Never lose hope even under the worst circumstances. Remember that Allah is All-Knowing, All-Seeing. To HIM belongs everything in this universe.
When you sincerely and humbly remember Allah and ask for HIS help and guidance, Insha Allah HE will give what is best for you. Dont forget to make Salatul Istikhara. And dont remain depressed. Always engage yourself in creative thoughts.
Brother GP advised me you can never stop negative thoughts coming to your mind. How do you repel a certain thought...i.e. you don't want to think about something?
The answer is you can't STOP thinking about something. You have to START thinking about something ELSE. and your first thoughts go AWAY the more you try NOT to think about something; it gets stronger. So busy yourself in conscious POSITIVE thoughts.
Jazakumullah khair brother GP.
And overall never get sad or depressed.
Before any major decision, pray Salat-ul-Istikhara
Source: Fiqh-us-Sunnah, volume 2, number 32 and volume 4, number 141.
Very often, we have to make major decisions: whether to undertake a major project or not, whether to apply for a promotion or not, whether to change career or not, etc.
Istikhara (Arabic) means to ask Allah to guide one to the right thing concerning any affair in one’s life, especially when one has to choose between two permissible alternatives, e.g. a career choice, getting married, etc. Similarly, a traveller should consult good righteous persons before setting out on a journey, because Allah says, “And consult them (O Prophet) in affairs (of moment),” (Qur’an, 3: 159) and one of the characteristics of the believers is that “they (conduct) their affairs by mutual consultation” (Qur’an, 42: 38). Qatadah said, “Every people who seek the pleasure of Allah and consult with one another are guided to the best course in their affairs.” The traveller should also make istikharah and seek guidance from Allah.
Sa’ d ibn Waqas reported that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said, “Istikharah (seeking guidance from Allah) is one of the distinct favors (of Allah) upon man, and a good fortune for the son of Adam is to be pleased with the judgment of Allah. And a misfortune of the son of Adam is his failure to make istikharah (seeking Allah’s guidance), and a misfortune for the son of Adam is his displeasure with the judgment of Allah.” Ibn Taimiyyah said, “He who seeks guidance from the Creator and consults the creatures will never regret it.”
Salatul Istikharah is a sunnah prayer that one may pray if one must choose between permissible alternatives: it is two non-obligatory rak’at (that can be recited separately or in combination with the regular sunnah prayers or the prayer for entering the mosque […] during any time of the day or night, and to recite therein whatever one wishes of the Qur’an after reciting al-Fatihah. After the two-rak’ats, one praises Allah and sends salutations to the Prophet sallallahu alehi wasallam and recites the following supplication which has been recorded by al-Bukhari in Jabir’s hadith (see full text below): “The Prophet sallallahu alehi wasallam would teach us al-istikhara for all of our affairs as he would teach us a surah from the Qur’an. He said: ‘If one of you is deliberating over an act, he should pray two non-obligatory rak’at and say:
“O Allah, I consult You as You are All-Knowing and I appeal to You to give me power as You are Omnipotent, I ask You for Your great favor, for You have power and I do not, and You know all of the hidden matters . O Allah ! If you know that this matter (then he should mention it) is good for me in my religion, my livelihood, and for my life in the Hereafter, (or he said: ‘for my present and future life,’) then make it (easy) for me. And if you know that this matter is not good for me in my religion, my livelihood and my life in the Hereafter, (or he said: ‘for my present and future life,’) then keep it away from me and take me away from it and choose what is good for me wherever it is and please me with it.”
The Fiqh-us-Sunnah scholars maintain that there is nothing authentic concerning something specific (e.g. specific Qur’anic ayats, etc.) that is to be recited in the prayer nor is there any authentic report concerning how many times one should repeat salat-ul-Istikhara.
An-Nawawi holds that “after performing the istikharah, a person must do what he is wholeheartedly inclined to do and feels good about doing and should not insist on doing what he had desired to do before making the istikharah. And if his feelings change, he should leave what he had intended to do, otherwise he is not completely leaving the choice to Allah, and would not be honest in seeking aid from Allah’s power and knowledge. Sincerity in seeking Allah’s choice, means that one should completely leave what he himself had desired or determined.”
The following hadith (referred above in Fiqh-us-Sunnah) is narrated by Jabir bin Abdullah about Salat-ul-Istikhara in Sahih Bukhari (volume 2, hadith number 263 and again volume 9, hadith 487):
The Prophet (peace be upon him) used to teach us the way of doing Istikhara (Istikhara means to ask Allah to guide one to the right sort of action concerning any job or a deed), in all matters as he taught us the Suras of the Quran. He said, “If anyone of you thinks of doing any job he should offer a two Rakat prayer other than the compulsory ones and say (after the prayer):
‘Allahumma inni astakhiruka bi’ilmika, Wa astaqdiruka bi-qudratika, Wa as’aluka min fadlika al-’azim Fa-innaka taqdiru Wala aqdiru, Wa ta’lamu Wala a’lamu, Wa anta ‘allamu l-ghuyub. Allahumma, in kunta ta’lam anna hadha-l-amra Khairun li fi dini wa ma’ashi wa’aqibati amri (or ‘ajili amri wa’ajilihi) Faqdirhu wa yas-sirhu li thumma barik li Fihi, Wa in kunta ta’lamu anna hadha-lamra shar-run li fi dini wa ma’ashi wa’aqibati amri (or fi’ajili amri wa ajilihi) Fasrifhu anni was-rifni anhu. Waqdir li al-khaira haithu kana Thumma ardini bihi.‘
(O Allah! I ask guidance from Your knowledge, and Power from Your Might and I ask for Your great blessings. You are capable and I am not. You know and I do not and You know the unseen. O Allah! If You know that this job is good for my religion and my subsistence and in my Hereafter–(or said: If it is better for my present and later needs)–then You ordain it for me and make it easy for me to get, and then bless me in it, and if You know that this job is harmful to me in my religion and subsistence and in the Hereafter–(or said: If it is worse for my present and later needs)–then keep it away from me and let me be away from it. And ordain for me whatever is good for me, and make me satisfied with it).” The Prophet added that then the person should name (mention) his need.
Similar hadiths were reported by Jabir (r) in Sahih Bukhari (volume 8, hadith number 391).
************************************************** ************************
Dealing with Stress
Some sage advice from the great scholar Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) on dealing with the trials of daily life.
When a person spends his entire day with no other concern but Allaah alone, Allaah, may He be glorified, will take care of all his needs and take care of all that is worrying him; He will empty his heart so that it will be filled only with love for Him, free his tongue so that it will speak only in remembrance of Him (dhikr) and cause all his faculties to work only in obedience to Him. But if a person spends his entire day with no other concern but this world, Allaah will make him bear its distress, anxiety and pain; He will leave him to sort himself out, and cause his heart to be distracted from the love of Allaah towards the love of some created being, causing his tongue to speak only in remembering people instead of remembering Allaah, and cause him to use his talents and energy in obeying and serving them. So he will strive hard, labouring like some work-animal, to serve something other than Allaah… Everyone who turns away from being a true slave of Allaah and obeying Him and loving Him will be burdened with servitude, love and obedience to some created being. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): ‘And whosoever turns away (blinds himself) from the remembrance of the Most Beneficent (Allaah), We appoint for him a shaytaan (devil) to be a qareen (intimate companion) to him.’ [al-Zukhruf 43:36].”
[Al-Fawaa’id, p. 159]
Check the link below
Depression
I tried to upload the book Don't be Sad by Aaidh ibn Abdullah al-Qarni but couldn't.
May Allah bless you, guide you, and keep you the path of Righteousness always.
wa/salam