Polygyny:A Blessing in Disguise

[islamirama]

Polygyny:A Blessing in Disguise



By Meriem Ezzaoui

Redefining the halal and haram is an illness that is spreading rampantly through our ummah. Many Muslims have chosen to define what is permissible and what is prohibited in order to suit their personal needs. These 'modern' definitions are against the commands of Allah(subhanahu wa ta'ala) and the Prophet's(peace be upon him) sunnah and hadith. To prohibit the halal and permit the haram is a grave sin.

We are not allowed to prohibit that which Allah (swt) decreed as His favor upon us. It has been forbidden many times within the Qur'an. Allah (swt) says "And do not say, concerning the falsehood which your tongues utter, "This is halal and that is haram," in order to fabricate a lie against Allah; assuredly those who fabricate a lie against Allah will not prosper" (16:116) Why then do we women tend to practice this act of disbelief?

Many of you will ask yourselves when have you done this. One word will explain, polygyny. This simple harmless word is the root to our sin. Hearing or reading this word can cause our bodies to react physically. The face cringes, the stomach turns and shivers run throughout our body. Unlike most words this word assumes the role of an enemy. A dark enemy that threatens to take away a valuable possession, our husbands. We must remind ourselves that our husbands are not our possession but a gift from Allah . How can we 'own' another person when we do not even 'own' ourselves? Part of our inner jihad is to reeducate our thoughts on male-female relations. Our minds have been clouded by the Western institution of marriage which forbids polygyny.

The marriage structure and marital relations of the West influence many Muslims around the world. We have come to accept the idea of one man one women despite the evidence that these relations often fail quickly and easily and bring more harm to society than good. So why are we so eager to accept a Western practice that clearly does not work the majority of the time? Are we, as an ummah, afraid to be different? Are we trying to blend in with the kufr when we should be setting the example? The Prophet (pbuh), as narrated by Abu Hurayrah, said, " Islam initiated as something strange, and it would revert to its (old position) of being strange, so good tiding to the strangers". Allah (swt) says: "O Prophet, tell your wives and daughters and the women of the believers to draw upon them their over-garments. That is more appropriate so that they may be recognized and not molested." (33:59). Allah (swt) has not commanded us to hide because we are different from the kufr and the People of the Book. Quite the contrary, we are told to be proud of our differences. We must call to mind frequently that these differences are in fact blessings given to us from Al- Wahhaab. The acceptance of polygyny will strengthen our ummah. Jealousy will subside, extra-martial affairs will decrease, single, widowed, divorced sisters and orphans will have protectors and maintainers.

Although, most of us do not declare out loud "Polygyny is haram" the actions and opinions of many support this statement. When our sisters demand that the marriage contract include an 'escape clause' in case of a second wife they are essentially stating that polygyny is haram. The same can be said of women who make it impossible , through personal and financial demands, for a husband to marry another (a right Allah gave all men). Yes, these sisters are not prohibiting polygyny for all, just for their husbands. Instead of helping a sister in need perhaps they are pushing her to sin.

The Sunnah of our Prophet (peace and blessing be upon him) allow both polygynous and monogamous marriages. Uthman and Omar were also married to more than one women. Is not the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) the model of the perfect Muslim? Were not Uthman and Omar part of the holiest generations of Muslims? Yet, many try to prove that polygyny is not recommended. A monogamous society is idealistic but not realistic. Human society is not designed for one woman-one man due to death, divorce and believing women outnumbering believing men . Monogamy is more harmful than beneficial to the Muslim ummah. It lacks stability and leads to chaos. This statement is supported by the condition of monogamous societies which suffer from high divorce rates, extra-marital affairs, teen pregnancy and single mothers.

Sisters, let us return to the Sunnah and the example set by the Sahabah. These men and women should always remain our role models. Let us try to refrain from condemning their actions as we do when we criticize polygyny. Let us assist our sisters who need a home, love and support. Instead of badmouthing the second wife we should thank Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) for His Compassion. Imagine if your husband were to die what would be your fate? You may have a family to support you but what if that was not the case? No place to shelter your babies and no food to feed them, would you oppose polygyny then? What if you were single with little hope of marriage except to a married brother, would you refuse or accept and complete half your faith?

We should want for others what we want and have for ourselves. The ummah will remain weak until we look out for our sisters. By accepting polygyny we create a stable ummah without excessive backbiting and gossip. We help Muslimahs find love, friendship and maintainers. We enable sisters to have a family or care for the one they already have. Instead of working to provide food and clothing she can teach her children Islam. She can study Islam herself and perform dawa. Instead of criticizing and complaining about polygyny praise Allah (swt) for this wonderous blessing.

 

[islamirama]

Contemplating on Being a Second Wife?


A SECOND WIFE, in fact even a third and a fourth wife, are in exactly the same category as a first wife. The norms of western society, which have been acquired by Muslims, have created in Muslim society similar attitudes of repugnance which westerners display towards a plurality of marriages.

In the Qur’aan Majeed and in the Sunnah there is overwhelming evidence for the perfect permissibility of marrying more than o*!ne wife. The life of Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam), of the Sahaabah and the great personalities of Islam in all ages are more than adequate evidence for the sanctity of the institution of polygamy in the same way as is the institution of monogamy. In fact, it is an attitude of kufr to hold in contempt polygamy. This attitude is tantamount to criticizing Allah Ta’ala who has made polygamy lawful, and it is an indirect assault o*!n the practice of Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam), the Ambiya and the Sahaabah.


IMMORALITY

Western society tolerates fornication and illicit associations by husbands and wives. But, a second marriage is unthinkable. Muslims who ape the west suffer from the very same irrational mental disease.

Since the kufr draws filth and falsehood like a magnet draws steel, a compromise with the adultery committed by a husband and even a continued illicit relationship are acceptable to a wife. But never is a second wife tolerable to the first wife. Muslims too have inherited similar emotional stances, attitudes and ideas of the western kuffaar.

Even Muslim wives and Muslims in general frown o*!n a second marriage while wives and many others outrightly reject it. As a last resort to prevent the second marriage, the husband’s continued illicit relationship will be condoned with a blind eye, but not his Nikah which is viewed worse than adultery— Nauthubillaah!

OPPOSITION

In view of the strong opposition of society and the wife in particular to a man marrying a second wife, most men who become entangled in illicit relationships, but are overwhelmed by remorse, endeavour to rectify the wrong in a clandestine way. Since they lack the courage to do what is proper, they enter into secret marriages.

Clandestine marriages bring in their wake grave and heartbreaking consequences. Both the man and woman who contemplate such a marriage should reflect seriously and not enter into a union which resembles an illicit relationship.

In other words, they should not enact a secret Nikah and conceal the holy bond from the community and the first wife.

The opposition, taunts and criticism of society should be ignored. The Pleasure of Allah Ta’ala is of paramount importance, not the emotional eruptions and pleasure of the people. Deficiency of Imaan constrains men who contemplate second marriages to either opt for continuation of the illicit affair for fear of antagonising the first wife and society, or at best, they arrange a secret Nikah.

THE SECRET NIKAH

Nikah, it should be understood, is a public institution. The teaching and spirit of Islam emphasise the public announcement of a Nikah. That is why the presence of witnesses is an integral constituent of the marriage ceremony which is not valid without witnesses. The public announcement of Nikah is of such great significance that according to the Maaliki Math-hab, it should be proclaimed and advertised with even the beating of the duff (drum).

The Hadith states that the distinguishing feature between Nikah and zina is public announcement. While Nikah is publicly proclaimed and acclaimed, zina is concealed. Now if Nikah too is treated with secrecy, what difference is there between marriage and adultery?

It therefore does not behove Muslims to conceal what is above board, pure and halaal. Concealing an illicit association is understandable, but not a halaal union enacted to obliterate the illicit affair. A marriage performed in secret and concealed from public knowledge is in conflict with the teaching and spirit of Islam.

NOT FOR LONG

A secret marriage cannot be concealed for too long. Sooner or later the matter comes to the notice of people. Those who are unaware will justifiably believe that an adulterous affair is existing. When ultimately the Nikah becomes known, a storm erupts. If the Nikah was performed in accordance with the demands of the Shariah, the resultant effect would have been infinitely milder than the consequences of a secret marriage becoming public.

MISTRESS?

The woman too should understand that she should not submit to the demanding emotions of the married man who is desirous of concealing the contemplated Nikah. It is most dishonourable for a woman to allow herself to be entrapped in such a marriage in which her position will be not much better than that of a mistress. While married, life will continue as if an illicit affair exists between herself and her husband.

What pleasure and happiness can an honourable Muslim woman derive from a marriage which she has to conceal, and always duck and dive to save her ‘image’ and the ‘reputation’ of her husband? Over the years numerous such clandestine cases have passed through our office. The results are always miserable and grievous.

A woman who accedes to a man’s desire for a clandestine nikah should understand that she will not be treated as a decent wife by her husband. She will live in suspense. She will not be favoured with the rights which a Nikah grants a wife. She will be denied the honour of running a home. The husband will violate most of her rights. She will live in frustration and despondency. Although a wife, wedded to her husband in Allah’s Name, she has to live in darkness and under a cloud of suspicion.

NEGLECT

After a lapse of time, the man tires of his secret wife. The glamour must necessarily wear thin. Then the serious problems begin. The woman comes to her senses when it is a bit too late.

Never submit to a secret marriage proposal. If a man lacks the courage to publicly proclaim his second marriage, it is a sure sign that he will violate the rights of his second wife. He lacks in the quality of Islamic manhood. He marries her to soothe his conscience. His sole motive is sexual gratification. But a happy marriage is not based solely o*!n this factor.

If he refuses to have the Nikah in the Musjid and put you o*!n the pedestal of Islamic wifehood, issue a firm refusal for your own sake. Do not open up the avenue of a miserable life for yourself by acting the part of a mistress under a veneer of marriage.

http://www.themajlis.net/Article149.html

 

[islamirama]

Hypocrisy of the society

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[Ahsen]

It's indeed a blessing.Alhamdulillah for making deen so easy for us but we don't understand.Humans make it more complicated then complain themselves.

 

[Isra]

As salamo alaikome

By posting this thread I assume dear brother that you agree this is a problem in our society these days. Forgive me if my assumption is wrong.

I do have a question for you or any other brother who would care to answer. What young brother (or even OLD brother for that matter) do you personally know in this day and age where times are so hard that even whole countries are going bankrupt is in a position to afford more than one wife?

For that matter lets take it a step further and add children to the equation since that is the ultimate goal of marriage. So what brother young or old can you honestly think of who can afford more than one FAMILY in these hard times?

You are aware I assume that Islam along with offering a brother more than one wife put the condition upon them that they MUST treat all of their wives equally. That means 2-4 separate but equal houses, food for all the houses - enough to feed all occupants equally, clothing for everyone in each family and other items that are necessary to survive. On top of all of that while he is busy working his behind off to meet these conditions he is expected to spend an EQUAL amount of time with each wife as she has her rights over him too. And to top all of that off neither wife is required to work but if she chooses to and her husband permits her she is allowed to keep any earnings she makes to spend in any way that she pleases without her husbands permission. She does NOT have the responsibility of using her money towards the household as that responsibility falls solely on the husbands shoulders.

Is there honestly many brothers out there who could take on such a task?

The problem is I dont think many brothers actually think all of this through when they get on the high horse blaming the women for not accepting a second or third or fourth wife. The reality of it is most brothers not only couldnt afford it but couldnt handle the pressure of having more than one wife in my opinion. In fact if you talk to most married men (mind you I said MOST not ALL) they will tell you that they are having a hard enough time handling life with just one wife and children!

I think we should focus on the reality of the hard times we are going through these days and think things through! Its not fair to put the blame on women for not accepting something that you cannot even accept for yourselves. Dont forget you will have to answer for your actions.

Please dont compare yourselves with Rasool (SAW) as he was a man unlike any other and he lived in different times than we live in today. There really is no comparison!

As Allah says in the Holy Quran: Surah 4 verse 129

[Nisa 4:129] And you will never be able to deal equally between women however much you may desire

Note the keyword Allah uses "NEVER" and "HOWEVER MUCH YOU MAY DESIRE".

Think about it.

wa salam

 

[islamirama]

I think you are making too many assumptions here. Firstly, there are plenty of brothers out there that can afford this. Among them are the engineers, doctors and business who have the means to afford even in this economy. Secondly, the ones having hard time already with their families, do you truly honestly think their wives won't make their lives living hell if they do go with it?

yes, there are some who can't handle it and still go ahead and get married but lets not put MOST men in that category. First of all most men do marry only one, that is a given fact. So let's scrip the "most" scenarios here. Secondly, the religious ones that do take on more than one are aware of the responsibilities.There are educated wives who want to help and contribute to their household while knowing they do not have to and housing wise, they do not HAVE to have separate houses. If a husband cannot afford that then he is allowed to give them their quarters and privacy from others. You can search for that on islamqa.

I noticed a touch of negativity in your post, let's not go getting all the "if" scenarios out and the "rights" cards out and generalization of "most" this or that out. It's not an epidemic, those that do marry are in the minority and from them that do abuse this are also in in the minority. The major problem here is also with women who can't fathom having a co-wife. Majority of them anyways.

Please dont compare yourselves with Rasool (SAW) as he was a man unlike any other and he lived in different times than we live in today. There really is no comparison!

No one is comparing themselves to the Prophet (saw) here, it is the women who are pulling the same old card every time rather than learning to respect the Muslim men today who are TRYING to aspire to be like the perfect human and example to mankind.

One can say on the same note, please don't compare yourselves with the wives of the Prophet (saw), you will NEVER be like them...

As Allah says in the Holy Quran: Surah 4 verse 129

[Nisa 4:129] And you will never be able to deal equally between women however much you may desire

Note the keyword Allah uses "NEVER" and "HOWEVER MUCH YOU MAY DESIRE".

and yet Allah says

'Marry woman of your choice in twos' threes' or fours' but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly, (with them), then only one' [Al-Qur'an 4:3]

Most women try to pull out verses and examples of the Prophet (saw) and some bogus statements saying you need wife's "permission", trying to hide their own insecurities. The fact of the matter is that it is allowed and Allah has given permission for the men to do it, regardless of what what you or any other women thinks. Provided it's a heavy responsibility that not everyone can undertake and that is why MOST marry only one, but let's not go dissing the whole concept and the brothers who can and do take on this responsibility.

As for this "age and time", do you know there are 30 million spinsters in saudi alone? We have muslimahs over 30 and still single, unable to get married. Do you know the holocaust of kosovo, albania, bosnia, iraq and massacre of Muslims in other areas such as kashmir, sheshan, chechnya, etc is resulting in shortage of Muslim men? Do you also know that Russian gov't as allowed chechens to marry more than wife due to their shortage of men.

There was an article in saudi paper that a taxi driver asked to marry this professional educated woman for her hand. He probably could barely afford her and she was making way more than him. Do you know what she said? She said she'll say yes if he marries her two friends as well. They said they'll take care of their own expenses as they have the means but they want a husband for all 3 of them. Such is the situation over there, girls and making deals with their girlfriends to hook them up as well if a proposal comes their way.

So tell me if this isn't the "age and time" for polygamy then when is it? or is that part of Islam outdated now in this modern age and time?

here's a treat for you.

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002455983979&notif_t=friend_confirmed

 

[alf2]

@ Isra: I understand your position, but in Islam polygyny is halaal and as Muslim women we need to accept that. We cant go picking and choosing what in Islam we want and what we dont. We must take it face value and stop trying to change it lest we imitate the Christians and their picking & choosing.

As a Muslim female, I dont know how I would feel if my husband took another wife. But I have accepted if he desires it and we're in agreement (i know he'd never do anything without my agreement and vice versa) Then it will be okay.

I have a friend who is in a plural marriage, they're Mormon but its the same scenario. She was uneasy at first, but now they get along like 1 big happy family and the sister wives are like SISTERS.

Please sister, dont be mad at me, I love you for the sake of Allah and I am not saying "Deal with it" But we must accept it is permissible for men who can afford that.

ALSO: For legal reasons I think I should include any form of polygamy is ILLEGAL in the western world.

 

[Precious Star]

Are we trying to blend in with the kufr when we should be setting the example?

Although, most of us do not declare out loud "Polygyny is haram" the actions and opinions of many support this statement.

Sisters, let us return to the Sunnah and the example set by the Sahabah. These men and women should always remain our

Ok, I have some real problems with this article

First, by not wishing to engage in polygyny or makign arguments against it, how on earth are we "trying to blend in with the kufr"???

Second, I believe it is very dangerous for you to make a statement to the effect that our opinions about polygyny amount to haram. Haram actions require something much more explicit.

Finally, regarding the Sunnah. The fact is, the Holy Prophet primarily married multiple wives who were widows or divorced. The revelation in Sura An-Nisa came down after one of the Battles - i forget which one -- which left many women widowed with children to support, and many children orphaned. It is important to read the entire verse in context. Sura an-Nisa starts by treating orphans fairly and then:

4.3: IF you fear you shall not be able to act justly with the orphans, THEN marry other women of your choice, two or three or four;BUT if you feel you will not be able to deal justly with them, then marry ONE, or a captive that your right hand posseses. That will be more suitable to prevent you from doing injustice.

Thus, you can marry more than one wife only if you fear you will be unable to deal fairly with orphan girls and only if you can treat all women fairly. The overriding objective being justice.

So when you say that as women we put up obstacles against polygyny, I'm afraid we have legitimate concerns.

These days, men wish to practice polygyny in order to satisfy their sexual desires. I have read comments by men who are quite vociferous in their belief that Islam allows polygyny and there are no conditions attached to it, that's that. However, it is clear from Sura an-Nisa that that is not the case.

In a world where widows are not destitute, there is no need for polygyny.
In a world where the nuclear family is the thriving unit of society, there is no need for polygyny.

But there are exceptions. Iraq has an epidemic of war widows. Many are over 40. Are wealthy married men running to Iraq to marry and sponsor these women? I highly doubt it.

I know so many women who have been "discarded" by their husbands just because their husbands found a new flavour of the day, i.e. a pretty young thing, and the second marriage was justified on thebasis that Islam allows the husband to marry more than one wife. I'm sorry, that is not how I read verse 4.3. There are huge conditions attached. And if the man is unable to meet those conditions, then he is out of luck. No second pretty young virgin for him, I'm afraid.

Besides, other than Aisha, the Holy Prophet did not marry young virgin after young virgin. Most ofhis wives were older than him, two were divorced, and the rest were widows. He loved Khadija the most, and during her lifetime did not consider marriage to anyone else.

Also, just because Islam allows something, does not make it the rule, such that a denunciation of same amounts to haram. Islam allows marriage to anyone who is a muslim, regardless of colour, tribe, country, etc. But so many muslims insist on marrying (a) cousins and (b) within their own cultural background. In fact, no where is this more rampant than in the Pakistani community, where parents insist that their children marry fellow Pakistani's, particularly within their own "caste", and especially in the UK they insist on first cousin marriages. This is an abomination. It is, essentially, turning something that is merely permissible (cousin marriage) into a rule.. It also turns something that is NOT permissible (deciding marriage on the basis of country of origin) into a rule.

The practice and attitudes towards polygyny, have taken a similar turn. I suggest we go back to the STRICT wording of the Quran, and the explicit, uncontroverted example of the Holy Prophet.

 

[islamirama]

Thus, you can marry more than one wife only if you fear you will be unable to deal fairly with orphan girls and only if you can treat all women fairly. The overriding objective being justice.

it is the minority that engage in pollygyny and yet it is the majority women that whine about it.

So when you say that as women we put up obstacles against polygyny, I'm afraid we have legitimate concerns.

on what grounds? If you don't want it then be smart enough to state it before hand and don't go crying about it after the nuptial agreement, that nuptial agreement is a contract.

These days, men wish to practice polygyny in order to satisfy their sexual desires. I have read comments by men who are quite vociferous in their belief that Islam allows polygyny and there are no conditions attached to it, that's that. However, it is clear from Sura an-Nisa that that is not the case.

These days good muslim men still exist and they do provide much need for polygny even in today's society. Let's not paint the whole male gender with the same ugly lest I do the same with the women. Do you know how many muslim women there are that don't' know how to close their legs? they wear hijab and yet they have videos online having sex with their bfs? Do you know how many good bros are out there who can't even marry a hijabi because she maybe a wh*re? Should i say all muslim women are like that today and forget them cuz its same as marry kuffar woman? in fact it may be safer to marry kufar woman?

In a world where widows are not destitute, there is no need for polygyny.
In a world where the nuclear family is the thriving unit of society, there is no need for polygyny.

So who made you head of Islam? Who are you to say there is no need for polygny. It is something allowed by Allah to Muslim, regardless of them wanting it to help a widow out or to do it out of their own lust. Allah didn't say it, you are saying it's for the widow and such only. Would you rather your husband go find another wife or go cheat on you?

I know so many women who have been "discarded" by their husbands just because their husbands found a new flavour of the day, i.e. a pretty young thing, and the second marriage was justified on thebasis that Islam allows the husband to marry more than one wife. I'm sorry, that is not how I read verse 4.3. There are huge conditions attached. And if the man is unable to meet those conditions, then he is out of luck. No second pretty young virgin for him, I'm afraid.

I agree there are conditions that he must meet before he can marry, but don't go being all mighty and high on all the men because you met a few bad apples.

I think ALL women need to watch this...

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[your-sister]

Salaam alaikum wa rahmatullaah!

I'm with you on that sister Isra.

Proven, Allaah azza wa jall has permitted polygamy but one MUST meet the requirements. MUST fullfil its conditions!

Fact is, there are more brothers who are unable to meet the requirements(treating the women Equally, providing for all households Equally, etc) than those that can(as you mentioned; Engineers, Docs, etc). Just because our ummah has been blessed with more women than men is not reason enough for our brothers to sin.(They ARE sinning if they marry all four women while not meeting the expected requirements) so why take on a responsibility you won't be able to carry through?

Also there are so many unmaried brothers out there. Did you stop to think that perhaps if they marry, the number of our unmarried sisters may reduce. And the example of the three desperate arab friends isn't enough. The guy they're marrying still HAS to provide equally(both treatment and financial wise) for all three. They might've agreed for the women to stay independent and use their own expenses but if this marriage thing is gonna be done, either do it right or don't do it all. That man isn't financially stable to take care of all three households once the babies start arriving.. And that is a major obligation on him. So really, he isn't gaining much from that marriage. Polygamy has its benefits but its detriments is alot worse. If you aren't fit for it, don't go into it unless you'd want quite alot of harm done to your deen.

 

[your-sister]

Brother Islamirama, can you please try and keep your tone of voice(or writing In this sense) in check?!

"..don't go being all mighty and high.." seriously? You have used that same line on me in a thread that is now closed, Alhamdulillaah. Here you are saying it once again to another sister. Subhanallah! Only difference in the sentences are, you "assumed" I had bad experience with Islamic online hook-up sites.(can I just say, ASSUMPTIONS! ASSUMPTIONS!..?) and you're now assuming she has "met" some brothers which lead her to such conclusions.. You haven't any right to accuse your fellow Muslim sisters as such simply because we're stating our opinions wallah! It's highly offending...
If you want to argue or prove a point, do it in an Islamic manner.. Wa 'iyaadhu billaah!


And also, could you edit that part in bold above sheikh yasin's vids. I dont know what your problem with women is, but there are some here who agree with your views on this issues so there is no for a bold AND capitalization on "All"..

 

[Precious Star]

Dear brother Islamirama,

It is unfortunate that Ramadan did not teach you to speak with kidn words and respect.

Your last post to me was littered with ugly, bitter language, as well as a tone of hatred and sarcasm. Astaghfirullah.

Try googling "islamic manners". You clearly have none.

In Islam, we do not speak in such terrible tones nor do we accuse each other of the behaviour you have freely written about in your post. It is apparent that your comments were directly at me.

For the record, there are many so-called muslim men out there who are busy having sex with women who are NOT their wives. But you go ahead and ignore that.

It is also unfortunate that you learned absolutely nothing about Islamic manners during the holy month of Ramadan, which only ended 5 days ago.

You say, "so who made you head of islam" ; "so who are you to say there is no need for polygyny". Well, who are YOU to say that there is?
I also notice that you refused to acknowedge or comment on the passage from sura an-Nisa. You absolutely refused to do so, which makes me wonder what the true extent of your knowledge is.

"on what grounds? If you don't want it then be smart enough to state it before hand and don't go crying about it after the nuptial agreement"
I believe I have stated the grounds.

I suggest you change your user name to something more befitting your manners. Perhaps you are not smart enough to think of one.

I also suggest you do some research on the meaning of "forum". A forum is a place where we exchange ideas and perspectives; it is not a place where we insult each other in the event that we disagree with one another.

 

[Precious Star]

You haven't any right to accuse your fellow Muslim sisters as such simply because we're stating our opinions wallah! It's highly offending...
If you want to argue or prove a point, do it in an Islamic manner.. Wa 'iyaadhu billaah!
..

Sister, it is posters like this Islamirama that really make my experience on this forum bitter. I shudder to think that he may have a sister, daughter or wife, to whom he speaks in the same manner.

Islamirama, ponder over this tonight: you may think you are "anonymous", but Allah SWT still knows who you are, and knows how you have spoken to your fellow muslims tonight.

 

[islamirama]

Please stop the whining and crying about my behavior. IT is quite annoying, you thinking you are free from assumptions and have better morals and manners than others. I do have female family members and I probably treat them better than you did your family members. more assumptions about me and men i assume? It s funny how you are accusing me of the very same thing you are doing now. Go learn islamic manners, go change your name it's not befitting you and yourself in line before you go preaching others about how to be islamic. Precious star you should shudder to think why you are not getting married and change your out look on life. Do not think I will sit back and tolerate both of your insults. throwing some islamic words around does not make you holier "Wa 'iyaadhu billaah!" Learn to give islamic naseeh first before because what you two just did is no different if not worst than i presumably said...

It is unfortunate that Ramadan did not teach you to speak with kidn words and respect.

Try googling "islamic manners". You clearly have none.

It is also unfortunate that you learned absolutely nothing about Islamic manners during the holy month of Ramadan, which only ended 5 days ago.

I also notice that you refused to acknowedge or comment on the passage from sura an-Nisa. You absolutely refused to do so, which makes me wonder what the true extent of your knowledge is.

I suggest you change your user name to something more befitting your manners. Perhaps you are not smart enough to think of one.

insults insults and more insults, yet you preach me about what you lack yourself. What hypocrisy...

For the record, there are many so-called muslim men out there who are busy having sex with women who are NOT their wives. But you go ahead and ignore that.

and for the record there are so many muslim women out there busy having sex, boyfriends and what have you. But you go ahead and ignore it while attacking all men, ms feminist.

You say, "so who made you head of islam" ; "so who are you to say there is no need for polygyny". Well, who are YOU to say that there is?

Allah allowed it, we can do it anytime without a reason so long as we meet the conditions. It is you who has no right nor place to say "we have no need of it". Who am i? a male, someone who has the right to say if he has need of it or not, not you.

I shudder to think that he may have a sister, daughter or wife, to whom he speaks in the same manner.

Assumptions on your part now? Dare i shudder to think what kinda wife you make with a sharp tongue? best if you don't get into insults and assumptions or it will only lead down an ugly alley....

 

[Astrugglingsoul]

Please stop the whining and crying about my behavior. IT is quite annoying, you thinking you are free from assumptions and have better morals and manners than others. I do have female family members and I probably treat them better than you did your family members. more assumptions about me and men i assume? It s funny how you are accusing me of the very same thing you are doing now. Go learn islamic manners, go change your name it's not befitting you and yourself in line before you go preaching others about how to be islamic. Precious star you should shudder to think why you are not getting married and change your out look on life. Do not think I will sit back and tolerate both of your insults. throwing some islamic words around does not make you holier "Wa 'iyaadhu billaah!" Learn to give islamic naseeh first before because what you two just did is no different if not worst than i presumably said...

islamirama i hope you know the meaning of the word euphemism?
if you are desperate to have four wives then go ahead but don't talk with the sisters like that. what are you trying to prove actually? you know more or you are holier than the others?

 

[islamirama]

islamirama i hope you know the meaning of the word euphemism?

Euphemism is a substitution for an expression that may offend or suggest something unpleasant to the receiver, using instead an agreeable or less offensive expression,[1] or to make it less troublesome for the speaker.
Some euphemisms are intended to amuse, while others are created to mislead.


what's your point?

if you are desperate to have four wives then go ahead but don't talk with the sisters like that. what are you trying to prove actually? you know more or you are holier than the others?

I never said i'm interested in 4 wives nor i'm pretending to be all islamic throwing a few islamic words here and there and pretending to give naseeha on islamic adaabs while doing so in such a lacking manner.

 

[your-sister]

^Brother Astrugglingsoul, Jazakallaahu khayr... May Allaah azza wa jall reward you for your consideration!

And islamirama....there really isn't anything else i can say to you besides, "May Allaah guide you and make you into the MUSLIM boy you're suppose to be!"

I said "boy" and not man simply because of your manners. You're proving to have the 'aql of a young boy right now.
It's really not worth arguing with you... I honestly pity you.

Fii Amaanillaah!

 

[ShahnazZ]

You just crossed the line with what you just said to Sister PreciousStar and I truly hope you are banned. You clearly do not know how to speak to your sisters in Islam and I have never seen such crude and filthy language used in this forum as I have seen in your responses.

 

[islamirama]

You just crossed the line with what you just said to Sister PreciousStar and I truly hope you are banned. You clearly do not know how to speak to your sisters in Islam and I have never seen such crude and filthy language used in this forum as I have seen in your responses.

The wise thing for them to do would be to delete all posts after post #7. But you go ahead, i've said nothing of the sort you cry about.

^Brother Astrugglingsoul, Jazakallaahu khayr... May Allaah azza wa jall reward you for your consideration!

And islamirama....there really isn't anything else i can say to you besides, "May Allaah guide you and make you into the MUSLIM boy you're suppose to be!"

I said "boy" and not man simply because of your manners. You're proving to have the 'aql of a young boy right now.
It's really not worth arguing with you... I honestly pity you.

Fii Amaanillaah!

ah here are them holier than thou with sprinkle of islamic words here and there, go and play with your dolls little girl, i have no need of pity from the likes of you.

 

[your-sister]

You just crossed the line with what you just said to Sister PreciousStar and I truly hope you are banned . You clearly do not know how to speak to your sisters in Islam and I have never seen such crude and filthy language used in this forum as I have seen in your responses.

I couldn't agree any more with that ! TTI can do without your foul manner, islamirama. I mean that !