Right of Divorce for Women

A womanizer is a man who cannot get enough of women. I think you meant to say misogynist. What makes you think I was heartbroken, Miss Cleo?
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam alaikum,

You seem to think you know all about women. Your wording about your experiences. Plural not singular. Once again, the animoisty not befitting a Believing man. The name calling. The projection of your anger onto women of faith.
Your wishing to bring division amongst sisters in faith.

I am really beginning to think you are a shill. You narrowed your scope to women of Palestine. A man of faith would not belittle his sisters in faith. I think you have been on this forum before or you are just another shill. Either way you need to come clean.
 
I think you're trying to set a fire here. I will not fall into your trap. you stated that I was heartbroken. Where on earth did you get that from? Are you Allah to say this? The answer is no, I was not heartbroken, therefore you were wrong.

Palestinian woman. Singular. By Allah you are attempting to put words in my mouth, so to speak. You have the skills of the Pharisees, aapa. Are you a revert from Judaism by any chance?
 

Precious Star

Junior Member
Assalaam alaikum,

I am really beginning to think you are a shill. You narrowed your scope to women of Palestine. A man of faith would not belittle his sisters in faith. I think you have been on this forum before or you are just another shill. Either way you need to come clean.

I think he has been here before. Abd al hadi, or something like that -- he was banned a few months ago. I remember he used to rave about his fiancée and we all felt quite sorry for her. Who knows.
 
Excuse me? I have been here since April. I was never banned. I logged on to primarily read and not write. And my name is Yasser. Also, this was not a fiancée. This was a girl I was going to marry 3 years ago. Please don't mix things up. You attack random people because you disagree with them? Is this a forum or a court?
 

hayat84

I'm not what you believe
salam 'alikum to all,why all this anger?we're discussing about the rights of women in divorce,isn't it?

sister Aapa,you're right for half a part:divorce is a stigma,I image the feeling.about the coldness you meant,if a divorced woman like can't be in a certain way be happy because nobody invites you to her house,there would be the intimal reason for the married woman to "protect" her family(husband above all)from thos people who maybe hope to find a good friend knowing also her husband.in Islam it is not a good thing to say,but I talk as a married person who has a strong sense of protection from other women...then,if they aren't a menace for my family,they could enter my home..
I laugh because last week,after 8 years,I met 4 of my classmates,we drank a coffee together(they are not muslims,except one who is interested to Islam).they are good people,but I'm so "ill" that I won't never invite them to my house,because there is my husband.I don't like compliments to him...in reality I fear a bit that he could like them(the compliments).
but in your case,you're older than me for many years,you could come to my home if wish;)
I could learn many things,and why not,you could find a new love!
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam alaikum,

Sister,

You are honest. And you do speak for many women. They are insecure. They fear that their husbands would find other women pleasing. But, they also do not want the disease of divorce. The insecurity describes obsession and not love. So much for sisterhood.

Your words reflect your innocence. You are blessed as you have not experienced the events in a marriage that lead up to divorce. The courage it takes to understand that breaking up a family is in the interest of the children as well. I must add that American women are more liberated and do not hold the fears.

The anger on this post is due to a brother who has not been married and interjected his opinions about sisters.

Islam gives women the right to be sane and reasonable. When we exercise our rights it is a good thing. And it makes no sense to say a woman will wish to divorce over a trifling issue. However, it is Muslims who have the hangups.
 

hayat84

I'm not what you believe
you're right,I didn't test the feeling of a divorce,but I really was near to that step.for a moment I thought that it was better to stop this marriage for not to suffer and make my dears suffer.we faced a troubled periode and now everything is gone to its place.there was no obsession,or fear for something,but the desire to satisfy everybody at the same manner.but I forgot to satisfy myself.in my childhood I had no affection from my father,I suffered for it,and when I've got married I thought that all my problems were solved,but my psichology was damaged from a lot of traumas in the past,that I sometimes saw my sweetheart as an enemy to fear.I wished to leave him,because my fear was more than my love for him.Allah tested me hardly,the last trouble is gone,when I understood that my husband loves only me and that the "competition" I had with my 1st daughter to obtein his attention was due to Electra' complex.for many months I was angry,stressed and I didn't know why.the doctor said that it's a phasyis of the childhood,but with the help of both the parents,this step can be jumped.now,Alhamdulillah,I'm a reborn mother,and I assure that for this suffrance I would have renounced to everything,losing all my dears,because I feared to lose my husband's love.then,sister,I've tested only a part of this pain,and it's really bad.
 

tic_tac_toe

Junior Member
:salam2:

We need to be careful here brothers and sisters.

No doubt that getting divorced is a serious and last resort measure, nevertheless we do blame, stigmatise, ostracise and boycott divorced Muslims particularly women in our communities and divorced Sisters are looked down upon and assumed that breakdown in marriage was their fault.
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam alaikum,

And, I thank you brother for understanding this.

If only we could have kuthba's that redirect us to our conduct it would make a difference. We need to have the messages directed from the masjids.
 

tic_tac_toe

Junior Member
Assalaam alaikum,

And, I thank you brother for understanding this.

If only we could have kuthba's that redirect us to our conduct it would make a difference. We need to have the messages directed from the masjids.

How many Mosques do you know where the Imams are independent?
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam alaikum,

Ok...let's educate me.

Our masjids, over here anyway, are run by these boards of directors, men who make decisions who have other occupations. The masjid serves as a convient place to convene. I actually told a group of brothers this was a masjid and not a chai shop. Social.

Yet, it is the members of the congregations that must demand that the kuthbas be scared in nature and not secular. I actually see us going to the masjids and being like the chicken pecking at our prayers.

I know of a place where they refuse to get an imam. They feel the community is too small. Someone told me that the imam would not have enough to do.

Any suggestions?
 

tic_tac_toe

Junior Member
Assalaam alaikum,

Ok...let's educate me.

Our masjids, over here anyway, are run by these boards of directors, men who make decisions who have other occupations. The masjid serves as a convient place to convene. I actually told a group of brothers this was a masjid and not a chai shop. Social.

Yet, it is the members of the congregations that must demand that the kuthbas be scared in nature and not secular. I actually see us going to the masjids and being like the chicken pecking at our prayers.

I know of a place where they refuse to get an imam. They feel the community is too small. Someone told me that the imam would not have enough to do.

Any suggestions?

:salam2:

Sister, the concept of a Mosque committee has nothing to do with Islam but a construct of and compliance to tax-exempt charity/corporate laws of the country be it US or UK. Islam depends on Shura and our Mosques will change overnight if the Sunnah system is implemented because it will mean that nobody can monopolize the houses of :Allah:, all members of the community will have equal right to challenge decisions and give their input, all transactions will have to be 100% transparent.

If our Mosques and Islamic centers simply declare their financial records publicly as to where the money comes from and where it goes we will be in a far better shape, if we don't know about the money then we don't know what goes on behind the scenes.

So you should campaign for Sunnah.

Now apply this principle to a country like Saudi Arabia, where does all the oil money go? The resource of oil doesn't belong to Saudi Arabia, it belongs to the Ummah of Islam its not for a few individuals to drive around in expensive cars and gamble in Las Vegas but to take care of 17 year old like Rizana Nafeek who live in abject poverty so they don't have to leave their countries and come to be exploited!

Don't you think so?

:wasalam:

:jazaak:
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Asalaam alaikum,

Brother,

I wonder if I can think anymore. ( haha)

Two thoughts. Post 9/11 and the spreading of Islam.

I know in the US post 9/11 the various agencies do come and audit the books. It has become more transparent. The down side is the dispensation of zakat. Many sisters who are in need of money have to disclose information that is very personal. They have to wait two weeks at a time to get any money if any. If a sister receives food stamps or help with heat she will not get zakat money. I am no scholar but as a woman with compassion it makes me understand why many of our sisters go to the Christian charities who do not scrutinize so much but have to answer the question of why the Muslims do not help. For many a sister she has to be humiliated over and over again. Not, only am I poor but you have to know every detail of my life. In my humble opinion all I have read is that when someone begs we give out of our Love for Allah, we do not victimize the poor for being poor.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

We forget that in the early years of Islam the treasury contained the bayt al mal. It was among the first systems implemented. We need to be educated as to what happened in the early 1900's that rid us of the Treasures of Islam. I have tried to bring up the construct of bayt al mal and have been ignored.

Brother,

A woman in Islam without a husband is like a tree in a forest falling all alone..does anyone hear her? Did anyone hear the young 17 year old girl?
 
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