SHOULD I COVER MY HAIR?

[hayat84]

:salam2:
I hope you are ok,me,I'm ok mashallah!!!
I have a question and I don't i it already exist a thred with this argument.Yesterday I heard on Islam Tv a Sheyikh whose name unfortunatelly I don't remember.but the middle of the topic is that it is Haram for a married woman to uncover her hair when she's alone at home with her brother in-low,because even if he is a relative of hers,he is just an unknown man who is possible to marry.I was little concerned about it,because I don't know if the sheykh was talking about the brother of the husband or the husband of the sister.I am confused,because as I read on the Quran a woman can uncover her hair in front of the brothers of the husband.
Another thing that left me speechless,was how this sheykh made such a bad declaration about the possibility for Shaytan to make those two people do adulter.
I have two brother in law,one is married and the other(he is 37years old)not yet.I often receive the visit of my husband's uncle and many times it's me who open the door.I don't cover my hair in home,because it's the only moment in which I know that we have few visits and I never thought to bad things when I talked alone with my brother in law or my husband's uncle.It would be ashameful if a wife betrays her husband even with her thought.I love only my husband and his brothers are really my major brothers,I never put in my mind other dirty thoughts...
Do you agree with the fact that a woman should cover the hair even if there is a relative of male gender who may be marriable?
Pleas give me an explaination in Sh Allah!THank you

 

[ShyHijabi]

Asalaam aleakum,

According to the Quran and hadith, any male you can legally marry (not closely related by blood) is nonmahrem and thus you have to abide by hijab. This includes the brothers of your husband, as well as the husband of your sisters.

This is a link to a fatwa directly addressing in-laws.

http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/85512/hijab%20mothers%20husband

 

[Seeking Allah's Mercy]

:salam2:wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu..

sister hope someone can post with referance coz i got none.would great if someone answers you i'll get clear too inshallah,

what i kno is that a women must cover herself in front of her brother in law(husbands brothers,not sure about sisters husband).she treates them the same as any other non mahram.means no open gossips and reservations etc.

sister we are protected by our imaan and we seek ALLAH's refuge from shaitan.but we never kno when we may become weak in our actions and and are trapped in his nets.i'm not pointing at you,mashallah may ALLAH pay you very high in duniya and akhira for your for your loyalty towards your husband.but when ALLAH and HIS prophet set guidelines for us we are to follow without any conditons coz ALLAH knows our past present and future better then us.HE sets for us what's best for us.so we follow

yes i believe to cover in front of any male with whom a girl's nikkah can be performed because the pious sahabees used to do that and they are the examples that we have to follow...inshallah.they were better and they knew better so inshallah we act according ly

hope you get your answer clearly sis.from some one with good knowledge and referances inshallah!!

 

[Seeking Allah's Mercy]

Asalaam aleakum,

According to the Quran and hadith, any male you can legally marry (not closely related by blood) is nonmahrem and thus you have to abide by hijab. This includes the brothers of your husband, as well as the husband of your sisters.

This is a link to a fatwa directly addressing in-laws.

http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/85512/hijab%20mothers%20husband

:salam2:wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu..

oh wow sobhanallah jazakallah khairan sister.ALLAH answered my prayer before i could finish it!!good answer for me

 

[alf2]

A comment sister, at the end you said how shameful it is for a woman to just think of her husband's family sexually, you are correct.

But in that situation, you have to worry about HIM as well.
When a man and woman are alone in a room, Shaytaan is the third person there.

TRUST ME sister, when alone - some people, MEN INCLUDED, will get whispers from Shaytaan and do CRAZY things. I am not saying YOU would, but some people would....

 

[IHearIslam]

Assalaamu alaikum warahmatullaah wabarakatuh sister,

if I am not mistaking, you're talking about shaikh Mohamed Faiz? because I think I heard this from one of his lectures...I'll try to make sure its him inshaAllaah.
and about the question, if they accidently saw your hair...like you said here:

I often receive the visit of my husband's uncle and many times it's me who open the door.I don't cover my hair in home,because it's the only moment in which I know that we have few visits

then inshaAllaah, you're fine. AlhamduliAllaah Allaah has made this religion easy for us. The main logic about covering your hair and beauty in general from your in-laws is that your in-laws are marriageble to you. If your husband was not your husband, couldnt you have married his brother? yes, wallahi you could, and just because he is yourin-law does not change the fact that he is still a non-Muhram. I hope you understand what I am saying
Accidents happen from time to time between family members....and outsiders! so alhamduliAllaah, it's your intentions that count in Islam!
and we have the example in our beloved prophet sala'Allah alahi wasalam! alhamduliAllah!
may Allah reward you for your efforts, and subhanaAllaah.....for you to post this question shows the concern you have for your ISlam. AlhamduliAllaah!

 

[hayat84]

:salam2:
thank you very very much for your posts!!!
I'm a really serious woman and who know me,respects me and always have only good words for me,because of my honesty.if I was a not serious woman,my husband would never marry me and I might never fell in love to him.the fact that his brothers are marriageable,it's a shame because I love my husband only and his family comes from a true islamic way...So,I know that if I talk alone with my husband's brother without wearing hijab at home(When I go out I always wear it)I am sure that he will nevere think how beautiful is my hair,because he treats me like a sister in every effects...shaytan doesn't exist in this mattermbecause I well know the laws of Shari'a about adulter..it's a shame to make such a thought,maybe there are family discussion,but the trust is the most important thing...
If I didn't know my husband I wouldn't never marry his brother,because I wouldn't get married at all
It's a chance that Allah gave me and I grew up with good rules and the adulter doesn't exist in our chromosoms.Uqsimu Billahi-L-'Adhim,if I uncover my hair at home it's just for comfort and a way for my husband to look at it...but in reality it's not the beautiness of the hair,but the purity of the heart and its intentions...every other man could be marriageable for me,but I only love my husband,and none comes and disturbs me,because I never ghive any occasion to do it.:ma:

 

[BrotherInIslam7]

Salaamalaykum sister Hayat,

There is a specific hadeeth about this matter.

Prophet SallAllahu alayhi wa sallam said, '(Alhamwu al-mawt) Brother-in-law is death.' Hadith #5232 Sahih Al Bukhari

Therefore, the women need to do proper hijab infront of their in laws.

Here is a fatwa for your situation.

Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade non-mahrams (unrelated men) to enter upon women. He said: "Beware of entering upon women." One of the Sahaabah said to him, "O Messenger of Allaah, what about the brother-in-law?" He said: "The brother-in-law is death!" (Reported by al-Bukhaari, Fath al-Baari, 9/330).

Al-Nawawi, may Allaah have mercy on him, said: "What is referred to in the hadeeth is all the husband’s (male) relatives apart from his father and sons. People customarily take the matter of a man being alone with his brother’s wife as being of little consequence; to indicate the seriousness of the matter, it was likened to death. Indeed, one should be more cautious about the brother-in-law than about a stranger. The phrase "the brother-in-law is death" may have a number of meanings:
That being alone with a brother-in-law may lead to disaster if a sin is committed, or may spell divorce for the woman if her husband cannot contain his jealousy; Or: Beware of being alone with a non-mahram woman – fear this as you fear death.

All this stems from Islam’s keenness to protect households, to avoid evil and to preserve marriages in the best possible way. You will find more details under question #217 .

May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.

Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

Source: http://islamqa.com/en/ref/1940

 

[hayat84]

why the Quran says the contrary?In Surat An-Nur expecially there are mentioned all the men who a woman can show them the hair and brother in-law is one of them.I am really curious,because the sheykh told that a woman shold cover her hair in front of her brother-in-law,but I want to know if is there in Quran a verse that specifics this fact,because me,I always have good faith and pure intentions,and I don't feel obligated to cover my hair even with my relaitves,because they are my family and if I can't trust to them,to whom can I trust.?does every male relative have such a brame in his heart,to tell or think something against his Sunnah????
My father told me<the oil associates to the oil and the water to the water>,so the believer with the believer and the misbeliever with the misbeliever.thanks for sharing this information:blackhijab:

 

[thariq2005]

why the Quran says the contrary?In Surat An-Nur expecially there are mentioned all the men who a woman can show them the hair and brother in-law is one of them.

Salaamu 'alaykkum. Sister I think you are referring to this ayah in Soorah an Noor:

And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.) and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like palms of hands or one eye or both eyes for necessity to see the way, or outer dress like veil, gloves, head-cover, apron, etc.), and to draw their veils all over Juyubihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms, etc.) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands fathers, their sons, their husbands sons, their brothers or their brothers sons, or their sisters sons, or their (Muslim) women (i.e. their sisters in Islam), or the (female) slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants who lack vigour, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And all of you beg Allah to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful.

The ayah mentions "their brothers" meaning your brothers.

 

[BrotherInIslam7]

JazakAllahu Khayran for clarifying akhi thariq.

Sister hayat, as muslims we have to follow both Quran and Sunnah. In Surah Hashr verse seven, it is revealed to us

And whatever the Messenger has given you - take; and what he has forbidden you - refrain from. And fear Allah ; indeed, Allah is severe in penalty.

Thus we understand that as muslims, we have to obey what our Messenger (Peace be upon him) taught us also. What the Messenger legislates is also a form of revelation from Allah subhaanaho waa taala.

We can not put our reasoning infront of law. There is a law among scholars of Ahlus Sunnah.. Naql (revelation) comes before Aql (reasoning).

For example:- Such and such person is a nice person (has a nice heart), he will never do such a sin. Or I know him since childhood.

^^ These kinds of reasons are not valid for one to not wear hijab or mix freely across genders.

It is quite ironic in a way. If you read the fatwa again, you will understand the truth in the explanation of the hadeeth. Particularly this part :-

People customarily take the matter of a man being alone with his brother’s wife as being of little consequence; to indicate the seriousness of the matter, it was likened to death. Indeed, one should be more cautious about the brother-in-law than about a stranger.

 

[Aisya al-Humaira]

Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullah,

Alhamdulillah the rulings has been discussed in the posts above. Hope inshaAllaah it is clear now.

This is something a bit off-topic but it actually made me think very deep. Yesterday, I was watching CSI and also from many of the cases previously - rapes, molesting and other unacceptable dirty actions actually happens within the family itself. Between in laws, uncle and niece etc. So it made me think the virtue of how Islam actually try to avoid such things by commanding us to close ourselves in front of non-Mahraam.

Also, just to clarify here, sometimes there seem to be confusion between which uncle we can unveil ourselves and which we cant. Paternal/Maternal uncles - your mother/father's biological brothers are whom you dont need to wear your hijaab in front of them. But if it is the uncle who is married to your mother's sister (your aunt), then you need to wear your hijaab. Hope I am not making it more confused. InshaAllaah you can find a deeper explaination at islamqa.

Also, I remember that a wise member here said that Islam actually give us steps to avoid/prevent unwanted things to happen rather than let it happen and then getting trouble by it. I.e "Do not approach zinaa" and not; "Do not commit zinaa". So, it doesnt mean that if a ruling seems a bit hard to be accepted, there is no virtue or goodness behind it. In fact many times when we think something is bad for us, in contrast, its actually for our very own good.

Allaah knows best.

Wassalam.

 

[thariq2005]

JazakAllahu Khayran for clarifying akhi thariq.

Sister hayat, as muslims we have to follow both Quran and Sunnah. In Surah Hashr verse seven, it is revealed to us

And whatever the Messenger has given you - take; and what he has forbidden you - refrain from. And fear Allah ; indeed, Allah is severe in penalty.

Thus we understand that as muslims, we have to obey what our Messenger (Peace be upon him) taught us also. What the Messenger legislates is also a form of revelation from Allah subhaanaho waa taala.

We can not put our reasoning infront of law. There is a law among scholars of Ahlus Sunnah.. Naql (revelation) comes before Aql (reasoning).

For example:- Such and such person is a nice person (has a nice heart), he will never do such a sin. Or I know him since childhood.

^^ These kinds of reasons are not valid for one to not wear hijab or mix freely across genders.

It is quite ironic in a way. If you read the fatwa again, you will understand the truth in the explanation of the hadeeth. Particularly this part :-

Wa iyyak. Very well said (in bold). Its a major problem in the hearts of muslims. They freemix, and they say that their intention is pure. [Siter hayat84, I am just speaking in general and not referring to you]. No matter how pure one's intention, the ruling of shari`ah always stands. Any thing by default in its foundation has either of the 5 ruling: Waajib, Mustahabb, Mubah, Makrooh or haraam. And by default, free mixing is classified as haraam and there is no doubt about this matter.

So sister remember, however nice your brother in law is (it maybe that he is very nice and his intentions are clean), but it does not make your actions clean in front. It is not even permissible for you to be alone with your brother in law in the first place, as when there are two non mahrams on their own, shaytaan is the third.

 

[Maryam Zainab]

So sister remember, however nice your brother in law is (it maybe that he is very nice and his intentions are clean), but it does not make your actions clean in front. It is not even permissible for you to be alone with your brother in law in the first place, as when there are two non mahrams on their own, shaytaan is the third.

It is true that eventhough we think that we will not be mis guided and have a firm trust on us and on other people as well, there are situations and circumstances that will bring a drastic change. Since Allah (swt) and the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) have commanded us to avoid those things which we have lack of knowledge (and Allah is the most knowledgeable) we should avoid them, no matter how much trust we have on us. As Allah said in the
Holy Qur'an 33:36

"It is not fitting for a Believer, man or woman, when a matter has been decided by Allah and His Messenger, to have any option about their decision: if anyone disobeys Allah and His Messenger he is indeed on a clearly wrong Path".

 

[ProudToBeaMuslim]

It is true that eventhough we think that we will not be mis guided and have a firm trust on us and on other people as well, there are situations and circumstances that will bring a drastic change. Since Allah (swt) and the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) have commanded us to avoid those things which we have lack of knowledge (and Allah is the most knowledgeable) we should avoid them, no matter how much trust we have on us. As Allah said in the
Holy Qur'an 33:36

"It is not fitting for a Believer, man or woman, when a matter has been decided by Allah and His Messenger, to have any option about their decision: if anyone disobeys Allah and His Messenger he is indeed on a clearly wrong Path".

JazakAllahu Khiaran Sister, that was an apt ending for this discussion =]

 

[hayat84]

:salam2:
how many answers have I received!thank you very much.@brother Thariq2005,how can I only think how nice is my brother in law?the only one who lives in the same home with my husband is married and has a child...let me know another thing about covering the intimal part:should a mother who gives her milk to her baby hide her breast from the sight of other brothers in law?
me,about being pudic I'm maybe the best,because everyone knows me and how I am honest,so if my husband says me to have fun with his brothers in the sense that he is happy if he sees me and my brother in law laughing,it never means that if I'm alone with him,I like to be so open as you may think.pudicity is one of the pillar of mine,and,I repeat,if I'm at home with my brother in-law it doesn't mean that I spend my time talking to him,but on the other side I know that if happens something bad I can trust to these relatives when my husband is absent.when my husband presented me his brothers,I wasn't reverted and dressed like a normal teenager...when I took Shahada I knew what I should have done and little by little I had the awareness of my duties...Another point to clear is that the first person who agrees with my way of living at home is my husband.Then,shyness or intimal shame to show the hair I particulary have when we meet the husbands of my sisters in-law:it's there,that I feel embarassed,because I don't feel the same brotherhood that I feel with my husband's brothers.
dear muslim brothers and sisters,I'm glad to have the chance to share such an argument,I hope not to have ennoyed you.
Maybe I'm wrong,but when I don't think to a sin,I don't make any sin,so by consequence if my heart is pure,Allah knows it better,but by myself if between two marriageable people there is Shaytan,I think that between Shaytan and me,there is Allah,the Majestic.:tti_sister:

 

[IHearIslam]

If I didn't know my husband I wouldn't never marry his brother,because I wouldn't get married at all

dearest sister, you have misunderstood my post....I meant to say in a halal way you could of...and when it comes to your choice, its your choice then! but halalically (I made up that word...it means "in a halal way", its like islamically) your brother in law can marry you which is why you've received these posts! of course, you're honest mashaAllaah! but at the same time....we cannot control the heart of another human being (no offence to ANY of your in-laws!)
totally agree with this post!

It is true that eventhough we think that we will not be mis guided and have a firm trust on us and on other people as well, there are situations and circumstances that will bring a drastic change. Since Allah (swt) and the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) have commanded us to avoid those things which we have lack of knowledge (and Allah is the most knowledgeable) we should avoid them, no matter how much trust we have on us. As Allah said in the
Holy Qur'an 33:36

"It is not fitting for a Believer, man or woman, when a matter has been decided by Allah and His Messenger, to have any option about their decision: if anyone disobeys Allah and His Messenger he is indeed on a clearly wrong Path".

may Allaah guid us all ! ameen

 

[thariq2005]

:salam2:
how many answers have I received!thank you very much.@brother Thariq2005,how can I only think how nice is my brother in law?the only one who lives in the same home with my husband is married and has a child...let me know another thing about covering the intimal part:should a mother who gives her milk to her baby hide her breast from the sight of other brothers in law?
me,about being pudic I'm maybe the best,because everyone knows me and how I am honest,so if my husband says me to have fun with his brothers in the sense that he is happy if he sees me and my brother in law laughing,it never means that if I'm alone with him,I like to be so open as you may think.pudicity is one of the pillar of mine,and,I repeat,if I'm at home with my brother in-law it doesn't mean that I spend my time talking to him,but on the other side I know that if happens something bad I can trust to these relatives when my husband is absent.when my husband presented me his brothers,I wasn't reverted and dressed like a normal teenager...when I took Shahada I knew what I should have done and little by little I had the awareness of my duties...Another point to clear is that the first person who agrees with my way of living at home is my husband.Then,shyness or intimal shame to show the hair I particulary have when we meet the husbands of my sisters in-law:it's there,that I feel embarassed,because I don't feel the same brotherhood that I feel with my husband's brothers.
dear muslim brothers and sisters,I'm glad to have the chance to share such an argument,I hope not to have ennoyed you.
Maybe I'm wrong,but when I don't think to a sin,I don't make any sin,so by consequence if my heart is pure,Allah knows it better,but by myself if between two marriageable people there is Shaytan,I think that between Shaytan and me,there is Allah,the Majestic.:tti_sister:

Wa 'alaykkum salaam wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuh

May Allaah preserve you and your husband. May Allaah envelope you both in His Mercy, and May Allaah raise your ranks in this dunya and the hereafter. I only wish good for you and thus I advised you with that which the people of knowledge advise people with. And I hope Allaah accepts me from those who are righteous.

As people repeatedly said that no matter how pure your intention is, how modest you are, it does not by any chance make something Haraam into halaal. May Allaah have mercy on you, but it comes to the fact that what your doing is not right in terms of shari`ah. It does not justify your actions if they are against the shari`ah.

So I leave you with the saying of Allaah subhaanah, and this was posted by our sister, maryam zainab:

"It is not fitting for a Believer, man or woman, when a matter has been decided by Allah and His Messenger, to have any option about their decision: if anyone disobeys Allah and His Messenger he is indeed on a clearly wrong Path".

Salaamun alaykkum

 

[hayat84]

:salam2:
So is it?
So I'll do,thank you very much for your advices...:ma:

 

[hayat84]

:salam2:
it came to me another question:what about cousins?should a female cousin cover her hair when she grows up in fron tof her male cousin?islam allows marriagers between cousins,so they are perfectly marriageable,isn't it?shukran lakum