The cliques

D

dawahforever

Junior Member
Asalaamu Alaikum

After being muslim for almost 16 yrs now I still notice that this clique thing is not going away. If you aren't arab or married to an arab or pakistani or married to a pakistani, be prepared to spend most of your time friendless..this apparently mostly happens with women I'm told. Frankly I'm sick of it..and the whole, well they can't speak english thing, is getting really old..their english is excellent and the well they feel more comfortable with their own people is getting old too..that's called racism. Is anyone else going through this? I've started to hang around my own people even though they are not muslim because of this. I don't intend on spending my lifetime alone without friends. Plus its good for dawah.

Wa Salaamu Alaikum
D4E
 
jabba

jabba

Salafi Dawah is the best
Salam
hmmmm this is so true. I have a few Muslim friends I've met online. But all my friends I see regularly aren't Muslim, alhamdulillah they are wonderful nice people, but it would be nice to spend the day with a Muslim other than my husband (I love and respect him so much, don't get me wrong, but It would be nice to have a sister around). I've found it quite hard to find Muslims that will even speak to me here, I've smiled, said salam, tried to make conversation, but to no avail.......I love Islam but find some Muslims not very friendly and respresentative of the deen. It's ok though, I;ve done my part.
:wasalam:
 
Globalpeace

Globalpeace

Banned
Too many friends!

Asslamo Allaikum,

I have hundreds and hundreds of freinds, Muslims (Sufi, Salafi (ranging from extreme to mild), Deobandi, HT, Cyber-Jihadees, Ahlul-Hadeeth, Barelwee) & Non-Muslims (I don't call them my friends as per the Qur'aan, rather I am friendly with them)...

Whites, blacks, Asians, Arabs, Chinese etc. etc. etc.

I HAVE to carry a Smart Phone with me at all times because the phone rings and I have to keep notes on my contacts to figure out "who is who & why!"

I HAVE to know WHO is calling before answering & can't afford to get it wrong...

I interact with all ethnicities and I love people...

Yes cliques are there BUT I have to break it down & approach them myself...

I have a lot of non-practising Muslim friends without beards etc. & I get on just fine with them...

Off course I have spent a large part of my life in the west, so get on with Non-Muslims extremely well as well..

When I back-pack & travel to a different country, I ABSOLUTELY love it...
 
A

Aapa

Mirajmom
Salaam,

Brother, it is very differernt for a woman. To the sisters who have responded. Let me at least make you laugh. I am Pakistani. But due to my living here and there and everywhere and back again...I can pass for anything I feel like at the moment...I have told people I am from the strangest places when I am irked.
At first I became very sad when I was the one left out. I later decided not to worry. I go and say my salaam's first. I do not have time for idle chatter. If you speak back I will be the most gracious person if you can not speak back..I am not alone. I have fun. I always smile. I keep myself busy.
It is not us. Often people who are insecure will not open up. Hey, that's ok.
Sister Dawahforever, I welcome you to TTI. and baby sis Jabba...you know I am your aapa. The angles of Allah remain by our sides.
 
nyerekareem

nyerekareem

abdur-rahman
:salam2:

i see clicks all of the time at the masjids. and i hate it very much so. we as muslims often boast about the unity of islam and show people pictures of hajj and the unity over there. but why can't people be as friendly in the masjids in the same way they were while wearing ihram? many muslims say there is no white masjid,black masjid, arab or pakistani masjids in islam. there isn't supposed to be of course, but when different ethnic groups only stick to their own, they in fact turn the masjid into click breeding grounds. then an arab comes in only to see a group of blacks sitting amongst themselves and a pakistani group sitting amongst themselves, then what happens next? the arab guy sit's by himself because he sees the others doing the same. there has been too much culture and too little islam in the masjids.

:wasalam:
 
virtualeye

virtualeye

Tamed Brother
AssalaamuAlaikum WRWB,

Sister dawahforever!

May Allah SWT Bless you with better friends than these people, in Jannah :), InshaAllah.

You might have to change your approach with them. You can learn a few words of Urdu or other languages(pakistani langauge) and try to throw such words. Speaking a word of other person's native language is miraculous. Of course you will just learn some words of greetings etc.

Secondly, you might need to change your approach. May be you want them contact you first, just try from yourside first too.

I know the fault is not on your part, but I understand that Pakistanis and some other Asians are stupid enough. Here I am outside my country and we are few Pakistanis in the university. Whenever there is some nonPakistani Muslim brother or sister along with us, then we keep on talking in local language, I many times had to tell them they need to use English infront of other brothers, but this stupid habbit of using local language is pretty bad. :(

Did you ever invite those people to have a cup of tea etc.? If you break this initial barrier then I am sure they will be a bit more open in interaction with you, InshaAllah.

WassalamuAlaikum.
VE
 
apocalypse77

apocalypse77

Junior Member
here, in singapore i feel blessed that as a muslim im still allowed to practise my religion and pple still respect ur beleifs

i have alot of cliques..ranging from those from my primary school, secondary school and post secondary education days. i dont just stick to one clique but in fact alot

ive religious muslims as frens, non practising muslims, arty farty friends, friends of different races but we get along all fine and im still the same person to them..those who arent religous know abt me being one(or at least im trying to be one0 and respect and wont sput nonsensical stuffs to me

the problem starts when uve too many different cliques and ure leading a double life
 
Globalpeace

Globalpeace

Banned
Are you upto the Challenge!

Asslamo Allaikum,

I came to America at the age of 14, I had to learn the accent, the sense of humour and everything else.

From 14 onwards I had to learn to deal with Muslims from different backgrounds Arabs, Whites, African-Americans, Afro-Caribbean, British, Swiss, Irish, Italian, Dutch, Somalees, Sudanees etc, etc. etc.

And I had to do my bit to reach out….winning hearts and minds isn’t eas.

A good example of SOCIAL FAILURE of Muslims is UK, Most Asian Muslims here go about their lives without any interactions with Non-Muslims or Muslims from other ethnicities….Their whole existence revolves around people of their own ethnicities plus a Revert or an Arab here or there!

Is that what Islam is supposed to be?

Categorically No!

We must seek out the Ummah and make friends, interact with people, go to new Masjids.

I understand that unfortunately we have Arab Masjids & Pakistani Masjid & so on….we can’t change that BUT we can certainly change Masjids (once in a while at least) & seek Muslims of different ethnicities…

Have you guys ever met Vietnamese Muslims or Brazilian Muslims? Take interest in people & they will reciprocate. Initially they may not respond but be polite, courteous and persistent and you will be rewarded with wonderful friends…

Unfortunately you may actually get my problem in the long run which is too many friends!:)

Muslim interaction is way way better in US & Canada then Europe, no doubt about it. Muslims are a lot more tolerant there…In Europe & particularly UK you get instantly categorized into sects and that’s a shame and you have another barrier to overcome; but then again its another challenge to overcome.
 
um muhammad al-mahdi

um muhammad al-mahdi

لا اله الا الله محمد رسول الله
Staff member
:salam2:

I understand the situation but alhamdulillah I have friends from all the backgrounds: converted & born muslims,arabs,european etc.

And about the asian sisters: I think they are just too shy sometimes. I have 2 in my arabic class and at the beginning I was waiting for them to talk to me. Then I decided to start even a small simple conversation & :ma: they are very sweet!!!!
 
J

Jihan

Junior Member
It's gotten to the point that masjids are actually referred to by the ethnic group. for instance there is one called oromo masjid and another cham masjid. some of the others ones are usually not referred as to as ethnic groups but still mainly have one ethnic group.there is the one in the south mainly somalis go to and the one in the north mainly arabs to.

The only time I've seen a diverse ppl in a masjid was back in my old state where there was only a handful of muslims in the city, so we all came to the same masjid. May Allah guide us to the right path.
 
D

dawahforever

Junior Member
Asalaamu Alaikum

I am in Canada and this is the way it is. I have tried very hard to make friends with them but you don't want to get to the point of begging! Do I know Vietnamese muslims, lol..my children from my first marriage are half-vietnamese and converts like me. I even have a Vietnamese Quran on my shelf. You can only find Vietnamese muslims in large cities..I've met a few but they are too far away. Muslims also don't want to mix with people who aren't in their same class..the rich won't associate with the poor except to give charity. The first question in the mosque is always what do you and your husband do for a living, then where do you live..so many status questions to determine if you are "good enough" for them. My husband is having the same problem..he is from Malaysia so he has no friends. He is the only Malaysian here. Sure guys will talk to him but they never bother with him other than that.

Wa salaamu Alaikum
D4E
 
Globalpeace

Globalpeace

Banned
Sad!

W-Salam,

Sorry to hear this Sister...From my experience that is not the typical situation in Canada or US...

UK, Yes.

Bring your husband, children & anybody else down to UK or Florida on vacation & you can stay with us, Insha’Allah. No Problems

dawahforever said:
Asalaamu Alaikum

I am in Canada and this is the way it is. I have tried very hard to make friends with them but you don't want to get to the point of begging! Do I know Vietnamese muslims, lol..my children from my first marriage are half-vietnamese and converts like me. I even have a Vietnamese Quran on my shelf. You can only find Vietnamese muslims in large cities..I've met a few but they are too far away. Muslims also don't want to mix with people who aren't in their same class..the rich won't associate with the poor except to give charity. The first question in the mosque is always what do you and your husband do for a living, then where do you live..so many status questions to determine if you are "good enough" for them. My husband is having the same problem..he is from Malaysia so he has no friends. He is the only Malaysian here. Sure guys will talk to him but they never bother with him other than that.

Wa salaamu Alaikum
D4E
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A

Aapa

Mirajmom
Salaam Sister,

For those of us who live in remote places with few Muslims having a site like this is a blessing.
 
A

Aapa

Mirajmom
Salaam respected and kind brother,

InshaAllah on the way to Mecca, when Allah subhana talla calls me, I will visit . In the meanwhile let me gain Islamic knowledge.
and Florida ain't but a 13 hour drive from here; i just have to go down the mountain.
 
shaheeda35

shaheeda35

strive4Jannah
:salam2:
Here in New York where I am, there is this problem also. When I do go to the masjid, everyone is in there own little group, even the sisters who wear the Niqaab, its like they dont want to even talk to you, its sad really, mashallah. Sometimes I see a foreign sister, and give her salaams, she would give me the meanest look in the world like she wanted to fight me or something,:astag: I thought we were sisters in islam, but she did not think so. This was not the first time either, mashallah. I pray Allah makes us united, so we can stop this nonsense, life is too short for this.:tti_sister:
 
Globalpeace

Globalpeace

Banned
Asslamo Allaikum,

You & my smart 12 year old niece with her other brothers & Sisters can also come & see us in Florida or UK....

shaheeda35 said:
:salam2:
Here in New York where I am, there is this problem also. When I do go to the masjid, everyone is in there own little group, even the sisters who wear the Niqaab, its like they dont want to even talk to you, its sad really, mashallah. Sometimes I see a foreign sister, and give her salaams, she would give me the meanest look in the world like she wanted to fight me or something,:astag: I thought we were sisters in islam, but she did not think so. This was not the first time either, mashallah. I pray Allah makes us united, so we can stop this nonsense, life is too short for this.:tti_sister:
Click to expand...
 
D

dawahforever

Junior Member
Wa Salaamu Alaikum

Thanks for the kind offer..I haven't crossed the border since 911..don't think we will in the near future. So you live in two places?

Wa Salaamu Alaikum
D4E
 
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