The cliques

[dawahforever]

Asalaamu Alaikum

Ah..West Virginia..Mountain mama..sorry couldn't resist. Yeah that's a little far away.

About the gossipping..some women have told me that it is a blessing that I can' t understand arabic or urdu cuz the women gossip all the time at the mosque. I didn't have a clue. Maybe in a way we are lucky. Maybe sister you should just stick with the youth like I do...doesn't seem to be any drama with them and you can also be a good example to them. I don't know if people gossip about me but they do tell me straight out how stupid I am to have so many kids and stuff like that..oh well.

Wa Salaamu Alaikum
D4E

 

[Aapa]

Salaam,

My problem is I am always trying to get political. I am always trying to get some soical service going..if you are not familiar with my ranting and raving forgive me ...and a little gossip is good. That is a start. They know you are alive and not furniture.
Sweetie, I have two pubscent boys. I will be teaching in high schoo, again. I am trying to hold on to the one brain cell I have. I have to stay away from youth.
Ramadan is a wonderful time for Muslims. We spend so much time together. Let us be the one to greet with a perfect salaam
my love to all my sisters

Your aapa.

 

[dawahforever]

Sorry in the second part of my post I was referring to Sumaya Graham's post. should have been more clear.

 

[PinkMuslimah]

Prejedice against reverts? And non-Arabs-Pakistanis?

Wa Alaykum as Salam Rahmatullah,
First, I make du'a for the Ummah, and and say agstaghfir, for some of the things this Ummah has come to. I know EXCACTLY what you are talking about. I can relate. I am also a revert[/I] and so ismy mother, brother, and younger sister.
I lived in a VERY small town when I became Muslim, and for almost a year, I had never been to a Masjid any bigger than about 15 Muslims on a good day. And one day, my family and I take a trip to my hometown in Baltimore where we visit this place called Masjid Ar-Rahim. It was mostly Arabs, Indians ( Pakistani, Bangladeshi), and Indoneasians. There where however, Americans, and plenty of reverts there,Blacks, and whites. But as soon as me and my family steped out of the car, we emmedietly got this bad, prejedice vibe from other Muslims! Me and my mom almost accidentaly walked into the wrong area, and about 15 men pasted, without even telling us, or giving us a geusture to let us know we were going the wrong way. They ALL just gave us these mean nasty looks that made us feel terrible.
The worst thing that happend was, there was this woman with two small children who past us and said, " wouldn't you all wrather go to Masjid al-Haqq?" My mom said, " why", and she said, " Because well, there are more African-Americans there, and I thought you would feel more comfortable there."
HOW RUDE!!! Is she not a MUSLIM?!?!?!? And the worst thing about it was she was black too! But she was a black from some sort of African nation, and her children's father is also from an AFRICAn nations, so she felt better than the black Muslims who were the decendants of slaves.
A'uthu billah.
At the same place, I saw this Arab girl, maybe 6 or 7 years old, who was staring at something in the bushes. I said to her, " Assalam alaykum. What are you looking at?" She said," Those sprinklers! Do you see them?" I said yes. I asked her name, and were her parents where.Then I left. I came back to find her playing in the sprinklers with my little sister, and she was quite happy. That is the same for every Arab or Indian child I meet. They are so happy, and innocent, and even if they didn't speak english, they would play with another child simply because that is in a childs nature. So why is it that by the time that child reaches the age of 12 or over, they act different?
Alhumdulillah, not all Arab Muslims in the west are like this. Including one of my friends. She is Arab definately, and one time, I was visiting her house, and she was saying something that lead her to say something related to black people. She is still a "child" and could not find a better word to say, so she said," black people." Her mother emmedietly turned around and said, " Mariam! DON'T say "black people". say Afican American.You understand! Mariam said, Yes mother.
This is good very good, MashAllah
I still wonder why so many people ( Mostly Arabs, and Pakistanis) think this way. But as for the non-Muslims, it is better to blade anchient Arabian and anchient Indian culture, rather than Islam.
Allah Hafiz

 

[Jihan]

i think the only problem i live is that different ethnics live in different parts of the city otherwise we're really all friendly with all muslims.... most of the time .

 

[dawahforever]

Asalaamu Alaikum

Isn't that something? I never thought there could be a problem even between an African and an african-american. But how were the reverts and the Indonesians? I never had a problem with them.

Wa Salaamu Alaikum
D4E

 

[Aapa]

Salaam,

Mountain mama has been thinking again...we have loads of time here.. I have been petty and whining. I have allowed my petty desires to get to the best of me. I am asking for forgiveness from Allah subhana talla for my immaturity. And I am asking for forgiveness from my sisters and brothers on TTI.
I have been blessed with too much to be petty. It is the Islamic way to have the best of manners. I wanted. This is not correct. I have been given a masjid to attend where I am welcomed. I do not need a social club. So please find it in your hearts to forgive me.

 

[Globalpeace]

Take Charge!

Asslamo Allaikum,

All of those who have experienced these negative situations and scenarios SHOULD take charge and do something about it, Insha’Allah.

As I said earlier, step forward & BUILD a relationship, BREAK down barriers!

 

[dawahforever]

Asalaamu Alaikum

The question is how? YOu give your phone number, you invite them over, you call them, you ask them to go out..but its always the same...we are busy. And then you hear about the parties, dinners, gatherings you weren't invited to because you don't speak the same language. You think I haven't tried? I have no idea what it takes to get a immigrant muslim to be your friend! And you can't get close to non-muslims because of the haram things they do. I guess I will just have to be happy with my kids and dh. That's life. I guess converts deserve to be lonely eh..we rejected our own religion and culture and don't have the right ticket...we aren't immigrants so we can't really join the muslim club. Tough luck!

Wa Salaamu Alaikum
D4E

 

[Aapa]

Salaam,

Mountain mama is here; I would invite you for dinner. I would serve road kill.
All kidding aside...I know what you are going through. But we have this website and each other.

 

[dawahforever]

Wa Alaikum Salaam

Road kill? Ahhh but I just had that last night! I'm glad someone knows what I'm going through. YOu know my d-i-l said she would be afraid to convert because she would have no friends..how sad is that...of course you have to be strong but I never even knew that I would have no friends when I converted, imagine seeing life from the outside and then having to pause. Insha Allah we won't be left alone in this lifetime always.

And here is something I just read last night. Taken from Muslim Girl #3 page 54.
"I live in the suburbs of Indianapolis but it almost seems liks I live in two cities. On Fridays I go to the all-Arab mosque that consists of 98% Arabs and on Sundays I go to Sunday school at an all-Pakistani mosque. The two communities do not really get together much and it makes people like me feel isolated because I am neither Pakistani or Arab. It feels weird. The Arabs in that mosque won't even bother to respond to my salaams and the Pakistanis don't treat us equally and completely isolate us in any community events. I know that in Islam, it doesn't matter what race you are because we were created by Allah and we are equal. So why don't some others get that?"
SMM Indianapolis

See I'm not crazy!

Wa Salaamu Alaikum
D4E

 

[Aapa]

Salaam,

Assmilation and acculturation take at least 11 years, so the experts say. When you are dealing with immimgrants they do not want to let go of their customs. They feel that anything other will pollute the customs. I am a second generation immigrant, I think. So let us practice patience. I just think if Allah subhana talla grants me jannath, I will go from swing to swing and sip sweet sweet dark ice tea ( I'm a southern gal)
and yack with sisters. My husband in jannath will be busy with his 69 other wives and I can play with my sisters. Imagine sisters sitting together looking at our children and their progeny and spending time with our mothers.

 

[Globalpeace]

Choclates & Flowers!

Salaam,

Mountain mama is here; I would invite you for dinner. I would serve road kill.
All kidding aside...I know what you are going through. But we have this website and each other.

Wa Alaikum Salaam

Road kill? Ahhh but I just had that last night! I'm glad someone knows what I'm going through. YOu know my d-i-l said she would be afraid to convert because she would have no friends..how sad is that...of course you have to be strong but I never even knew that I would have no friends when I converted, imagine seeing life from the outside and then having to pause. Insha Allah we won't be left alone in this lifetime always.

And here is something I just read last night. Taken from Muslim Girl #3 page 54.
"I live in the suburbs of Indianapolis but it almost seems liks I live in two cities. On Fridays I go to the all-Arab mosque that consists of 98% Arabs and on Sundays I go to Sunday school at an all-Pakistani mosque. The two communities do not really get together much and it makes people like me feel isolated because I am neither Pakistani or Arab. It feels weird. The Arabs in that mosque won't even bother to respond to my salaams and the Pakistanis don't treat us equally and completely isolate us in any community events. I know that in Islam, it doesn't matter what race you are because we were created by Allah and we are equal. So why don't some others get that?"
SMM Indianapolis

See I'm not crazy!

Wa Salaamu Alaikum
D4E

Asslamo Allaikum,

Do you two need some Chocolates & Flowers to SNAP out of this depressive mode?

This thread is bringing me down now.

Come on Sisters.

To solve a problem we have two challenges:

1) Things that we can control, manipulate, change & review

2) Things we can’t

Concentrate on 1 which in the context of this thread is “US”.

We have a large Arab population in our city and they are mostly new immigrants and most don’t speak fluent English and so on;

1) I GO OUT OF MY WAY to joke with them & their kids…
2) I GO OUT OF MY WAY to involve their kids in the Mosque and other activities etc.
3) I GO OUT OF MY WAY to engage in conversations and most frank conversations with Arabs & African-American brothers revolve around women, Sorry guys….but that’s a fact…
4) I have a GREAT relationship with THEM; I will admit that most Pakistanees in our community don’t but that’s there fault for not engaging the Arabs
5) In Ramadhan they bring special treats & stuff for me and its great….ARAB & AFRICAN-AMERICAN Sisters are superb in baking and making sweet stuff; they love their Sugars!

 

[Aapa]

Salaam,

Brother GP I will never allow myself to be depressed. Road kill is really a very popular way to barbeque here. I was kidding about the road kill.
Women need an outlet. We are bogged down with kids. Often we look into the mirror and remember oh yes, I did have a vocaburary once. We talk and act like our children. Our sentences turn into nursery rhymes: oh sweetie-wheetie mommy loves our tummy-wummy.
Brother, first of all I am grateful that my masjid is open enough to allow women in it. Secondly, I am grateful to be able to spend time with sisters. But it is very difficult when you are different to break the code of silence. It has taken me two years to be accepted as a member by the females. The sisters now notify me of all the events and soical gatherings. And some are speaking only in Urdu to help me regain the language of my parents and the Arabs are inisiting that I attend Sunday School with the children to pick up Arabic. I have never been formally introduced to the community because I am a sister who goes without a husband. Another topic.
I think for many western females it is a shock because you are rejected by your society and you want to run to the Muslim world and it takes time to gain trust. Forums like this often open up sensitive issues that need to be addressed.
Finally, women like to vent...eat candy..laugh about eating candy and junk food...and go back to tummy-wummy.

 

[dawahforever]

Asalaamu Alaikum

Yes its different for women. Women are not easy to make friends with in the first place. Look at kids on the playground for example..a boy stands alone and two boys are playing with a ball..they yell out hey wanna play and he runs and joins them. Let's look at girls..two girls stand together chatting and a third stands alone..they never invite her..she tries to join and they ask her silly questions like why doesn't she wear cool clothes or do the activities they do etc and then they cast her out and talk behind her back! Life as a male is much easier..they are easygoing, inclusive and kind. Women are differrent..you have to fit in, conform, be "good enough" for them. So here you are different, different in looks, first language, country of origin, dress. You can beg and beg and beg but you are not going to be accepted. But I'm sure the men would let you play some soccer! Even my daughters say this true and every woman I know who has felt left out by the "in crowd". Being a women is like being in a competition. Its annoying and frustrating! Being nice, reaching out, just doesn't cut it! If you find this topic depressing why don't you ask your imam to do a khutbah about including muslim convert women. How long do we have to stay at the door knocking? I've seen a lot of converts leave because they couldn't take the rejection anymore. Not everyone is strong enough to handle it.

Wa Salaamu Alaikum
D4E

 

[Globalpeace]

Reverts getting dejected

Asslamo Allaikum,

Unfortunately I have also seen Reverts getting seriously dejected, disheartened and I have also witnessed apathy from the community to be a factor in their “Leaving Islam”.

It is SAD.

 

[dawahforever]

Wa Alaikum Salaam

I hope insha Allah that this thread will open up the hearts of muslims to us and that they will embrace us the way we have embraced Islam and the muslim community. We are like little kids looking for our mommy..that's what Ummah means right..it comes from the word Umm..mother.

Wa Salaamu Alaikum
D4E

 

[jabba]

Wa Alaikum Salaam

I hope insha Allah that this thread will open up the hearts of muslims to us and that they will embrace us the way we have embraced Islam and the muslim community. We are like little kids looking for our mommy..that's what Ummah means right..it comes from the word Umm..mother.

Wa Salaamu Alaikum
D4E

:salam2:

I pray for the same thing, one day inshAllah. People need to understand if they want Islam to be like it was in the days of the Prophet (PBUH) (having a strong Ummah ect) it starts here. We have to take small steps before we can take big steps.

 

[Bawar]

If I meet a convert muslim brother, i will do everything possible to aproach him and make friendship with him. As a matter of fact, i have been keeping my eyes open to find one because I would love to learn what he has been through.
The masjid that i go to are mostly either Arab or Pakistani or Bangladeshi. I have not been to a big city masjid to meet people from different backgrounds.

Wassalam

 

[Globalpeace]

If I meet a convert muslim brother, i will do everything possible to aproach him and make friendship with him. As a matter of fact, i have been keeping my eyes open to find one because I would love to learn what he has been through.
The masjid that i go to are mostly either Arab or Pakistani or Bangladeshi. I have not been to a big city masjid to meet people from different backgrounds.

Wassalam

Asslamo Allaikum,

"IF"???

Where do you live Brother? PM me because I am curious.