The severer of the tie of kinship would not get into Paradise.

[DanyalSAC]

Asalaamu alaikum...

The above hadith is reported in Sahih Muslim.

My question is this...what if the "kin" I severed the tie to is anti-Muslim? My older brother works for the Dept of Homeland Security and is about as anti Islamic as they come. Even his wife supports the burning of the Qur'an. The other day I posted the word "inshallah" on my Facebook and he made a negative comment about it in a reply. I removed it without confrontation. My mother however told him she felt it was inappropriate and supported my removing it.

That sent him over the edge. My older brother has serious anger issues that none of use can understand. Small things - like a typo in an email to him - make him so livid with anger that he can't speak and he loses all coherent thought. When he learned I had removed a comment he placed that he thought was "funny" he verbally attacked me and my chosen religion via chat. I had to remove and block both him and his wife. Our mother is heart broken, but she knows how he is.

I've tried to do dawah to him, I've even given him a translated copy of the Qur'an just so he could learn more. But he's abused me verbally all my life, and this was the last straw. I really don't want anything to do with him.

Where are the limits here?

 

[samiha]

wa 'alaykum salaam wa rahmatullaah

I'm guessing he isn't a Muslim... so the below may be a good read...

Because of the insults that you suffered, there is nothing wrong with what you did, in sha Allaah. This would not be considered as "breaking family ties", and it may give her the opportunity to think about what she has done.

Al-‘Allaamah al’Safaareeni, may Allaah have mercy on him, said in his book Ghidhaa’ al-Albaab: "Ibn Abi Hamzah said: ‘The ties of kinship may be by money, by helping at times of need, by warding off harm, by meeting them with a smiling face, and by praying for them. The general meaning is that one helps them in good ways as much as possible and helps them to resist or fight evil as much as possible. This is the case if one’s relatives are righteous, but if they are kaafirs or are wrongdoers, then cutting off ties with them for the sake of Allaah is how one maintains the tie, on the condition that one tries to warn them, and tells them that the reason for cutting the ties is because of their deviation from the truth. At the same time, the connection of making du’aa’ for them should remain, and you should pray for them in their absence that Allaah will guide them to the Right Path. (al-Tuhfah: Ghidha’ al-Albaab, 1/356).

And Allaah knows best.

Source

 

[noor aldeen]

:salam2:
allah will reward you my brother

 

[Abu Talib]

Assalamu`alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatu

Sis Samiha has posted an excellent information on your issue. I say keep trying to give Da`wah to your brother when he is in a cool mood and if you manage to win over his heart with the message of Islaam you would be rewarded immensely.

Inshaa`Allah your family would also follow you to Jannah.

 

[DanyalSAC]

JazakumAllah khairn for the replies. It makes me feel better.

 

[ShahnazZ]

It's so distressing to hear that your own brother is doing this to you. It's one thing to be verbally attacks by strangers but when it's your own flesh and blood, the pain can be overwhelming. May Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala reward you for your steadfastness and may He guide your brother towards the Truth.

 

[Bawar]

Wa-alaikumussalam brother DanyalSAC

Remember that you have brothers who love you for the pains you are taking in the path of Allah. So, please do not feel alone. It is the grace of Allah that you found the true path having been brought up in such an environment. And indeed, you must be earning the pleasure of Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) for going through such hardships. In light of what the holy Quran teaches us, my personal view is that you are breaking the kinship for the right reasons as Alllah commands us that:

Say, "O disbelievers,
I do not worship what you worship.
Nor are you worshippers of what I worship.
Nor will I be a worshipper of what you worship.
Nor will you be worshippers of what I worship.
For you is your religion, and for me is my religion."

and Yusuf Ali translates the last verse as follows:

To you be your Way, and to me mine.

Which may suggest separating the ways or severing ties.

In your case, there is a tremendous amount of abuse involved so I would assume that staying away would be the better option than stirring things up. May Allah remove hatred and anger from your brother's heart and open it to the truth. And may Allah grant you paradise for your perceverence and patience.

 

[World Peace]

Asalam aleacom warahmato Allah wabarakato brother DanyalSAC

Removing the comment and blocking them for the verbal attacks to you and Islam is understandable, because you suffered from their treatment.

It is saddening. Try your best to be patient brother, Allah will reward you for that.

Allah says in the Holy Quran:

لَتُبْلَوُنَّ فِي أَمْوَالِكُمْ وَأَنفُسِكُمْ وَلَتَسْمَعُنَّ مِنَ الَّذِينَ أُوتُوا الْكِتَابَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ وَمِنَ الَّذِينَ أَشْرَكُوا أَذًى كَثِيرًا ۚ وَإِن تَصْبِرُوا وَتَتَّقُوا فَإِنَّ ذَ*!ٰلِكَ مِنْ عَزْمِ الْأُمُورِ
"Ye shall certainly be tried and tested in your possessions and in your personal selves; and ye shall certainly Hear much that will grieve you, from those who received the Book before you and from those who worship many gods. But if ye persevere patiently, and guard against evil,-then that will be a determining factor in all affairs."
(The Holy Quran, 3:186)
_____________________

إِلَّا الَّذِينَ صَبَرُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ أُولَـٰئِكَ لَهُم مَّغْفِرَةٌ وَأَجْرٌ كَبِيرٌ
Not so do those who show patience and constancy, and work righteousness; for them is forgiveness (of sins) and a great reward.
(The Holy Quran, 11:11)

_____________________

وَاصْبِرْ فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ لَا يُضِيعُ أَجْرَ الْمُحْسِنِينَ
And be steadfast in patience; for verily Allah will not suffer the reward of the righteous to perish.
(The Holy Quran, 11:115)

_____________________

وَلَقَدْ نَعْلَمُ أَنَّكَ يَضِيقُ صَدْرُكَ بِمَا يَقُولُونَ
We do indeed know how thy heart is distressed at what they say.

فَسَبِّحْ بِحَمْدِ رَبِّكَ وَكُن مِّنَ السَّاجِدِينَ
But celebrate the praises of thy Lord, and be of those who prostrate themselves in adoration.

وَاعْبُدْ رَبَّكَ حَتَّىٰ يَأْتِيَكَ الْيَقِينُ
And serve thy Lord until there come unto thee the Hour that is Certain.
(The Holy Quran, 15: 97-99)

_____________________

وَمَنْ أَحْسَنُ قَوْلًا مِّمَّن دَعَا إِلَى اللَّهِ وَعَمِلَ صَالِحًا وَقَالَ إِنَّنِي مِنَ الْمُسْلِمِينَ
Who is better in speech than one who calls (men) to Allah, works righteousness, and says, "I am of those who bow in Islam"?

وَلَا تَسْتَوِي الْحَسَنَةُ وَلَا السَّيِّئَةُ ۚ ادْفَعْ بِالَّتِي هِيَ أَحْسَنُ فَإِذَا الَّذِي بَيْنَكَ وَبَيْنَهُ عَدَاوَةٌ كَأَنَّهُ وَلِيٌّ حَمِيمٌ
Nor can goodness and Evil be equal. Repel (Evil) with what is better: Then will he between whom and thee was hatred become as it were thy friend and intimate!

وَمَا يُلَقَّاهَا إِلَّا الَّذِينَ صَبَرُوا وَمَا يُلَقَّاهَا إِلَّا ذُو حَظٍّ عَظِيمٍ
And no one will be granted such goodness except those who exercise patience and self-restraint,- none but persons of the greatest good fortune.

وَإِمَّا يَنزَغَنَّكَ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ نَزْغٌ فَاسْتَعِذْ بِاللَّهِ ۖ إِنَّهُ هُوَ السَّمِيعُ الْعَلِيمُ
And if (at any time) an incitement to discord is made to thee by the Evil One, seek refuge in Allah. He is the One Who hears and knows all things.
(The Holy Quran, 41:33-36)

 

[World Peace]

Muhammad the Messenger (peace be upon him), the Man of Good Morals
www.rasoulallah.net

"The most remarkable thing in Muhammad (peace be upon him) is his gentle and exalted manners with all people; his friends and his enemies. This is witnessed by all the just men."

"He was a man of good reception, the smile never left his face, his words were sweet, he acted in a mannered way even towards those offending him, and ignored interfering in trivial things."

"He taught his followers that the best of people is the best mannered.
He also taught his followers that the closest one to him in Paradise is the one who has the best manners."

"The good manners of Muhammad (peace be upon him) the Messenger were not towards his followers only but also towards his enemies; when the Prophet (peace be upon him) were asked to curse upon his enemies he refused, saying:” I ’m not sent by Allah to curse but I’m the mercy sent to the whole world”. (narrated by Muslim)."
http://www.rasoulallah.net/v2/document.aspx?lang=en&doc=315

The Forgiveness of Muhammad (peace be upon him) http://www.rasoulallah.net/v2/document.aspx?lang=en&doc=8649

The best way to act, is the way of beloved Prophet Mohammed (peace be upon him).

 

[Abu Talib]

Assalamu`alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatu I was reading from the website so came across this question below it might be helpful for you Brother Danyal

Du’aa’ for guidance of someone close
what would be a good du'a or ayah to recite if you want Allah to open the heart of someone very close to you to Islam?

Praise be to Allaah.

The best thing to do in this situation is to pray for guidance for that person. This is what the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did, as is reported in a number of ahadeeth, such as the following:

Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) reported that Tufayl ibn ‘Amr al-Dawsi and his companions came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: “O Messenger of Allaah, Daws have rebelled and disobeyed, so pray to Allaah against them.” People said, “Now Daws are doomed!” He said, “O Allaah, guide Daws and bring them here.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 2937).

Abu Hurayrah said: “I was calling my mother to Islam, when she was still a mushrik. One day I called her to Islam and she said something about the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) that upset me. I came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), weeping, and said: ‘O Messenger of Allaah, I was calling my mother to Islam and she refused. Today I called her and she said something about you that upset me. Pray to Allaah to guide the mother of Abu Hurayrah.’ So the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘O Allaah, guide the mother of Abu Hurayrah.’ I left, feeling hopeful because of the Prophet’s prayer. When I got home, as I came near to the door I saw it was ajar. My mother heard my footsteps and said, ‘Stay where you are, Abu Hurayrah!’ I could hear the sound of water. She washed herself, got dressed and put on her khimaar (head covering). Then she opened the door and said, ‘O Abu Hurayrah, I bear witness that there is no god except Allaah, and I bear witness that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.’ I went back to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), weeping with joy, and said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, good news! Allaah has answered your prayer and has guided the mother of Abu Hurayrah.’ He praised and thanked Allaah, and said, ‘That is good.’ I said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, pray to Allaah to make my mother and me dear to His believing slaves, and to make them dear to us.’ The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, ‘O Allaah, make this slave of Yours (meaning Abu Hurayrah) and his mother dear to Your believing slaves, and make the believers dear to them.’ There is no believer who hears of me or sees me, but he loves me.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4546).

Jaabir said: “They said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, we have suffered much from the arrows of Thaqeef (this was when they were fighting, before they became Muslim), so pray to Allaah against them.’ He said, ‘O Allaah, guide Thaqeef.’” (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, who said: this is a hasan saheeh ghareeb hadeeth. Sunan al-Tirmidhi, no. 3877).

We ask Allaah the Most Generous, Lord of the Mighty Throne, to guide your loved one to Islam soon, by His Grace and Mercy. Allaah is the One Who guides to the Straight Path.

 

[fatma_said]

:salam2:

I also have a question about family even though its not as bad as DanyalSac.
Is it okay not to keep in touch with your father because you know if you do he only wants to ask something that i cant tell him? I know it sounds complicated but its not like he's in the same country as me. I only keep in contact via email whenever he travels overseas