Assalamu-alaikum !
:salam2:
Masha-Allah sister, its really nice to know that u are smarter than many of the older people around. Sister since i really have never been in any situation like this but i was just thinking that what u can do in such a situation like this and i came to the conclusion that u can do a lot of Zikr (rememberance of Allah). Allah says in the Quran
Verily! In the creation of the heavens and the earth, and in the alternation of night and day, there are indeed signs for men of understanding. (190) Those who remember Allâh standing, sitting, and lying down on their sides, and think deeply about the creation of the heavens and the earth, (saying): "Our Lord! You have not created (all) this without purpose, glory to You! (Exalted are You above all that they associate with You as partners). Give us salvation from the torment of the Fire. (191) "Our Lord! Verily, whom You admit to the Fire, indeed, You have disgraced him, and never will the Zâlimûn (polytheists and wrong-doers) find any helpers. (192) "Our Lord! Verily, we have heard the call of one (Muhammad SAW) calling to Faith: ‘Believe in your Lord,’ and we have believed. Our Lord! Forgive us our sins and expiate from us our evil deeds, and make us die (in the state of righteousness) along with Al-Abrâr (the pious believers of Islamic Monotheism). (193) "Our Lord! Grant us what You promised unto us through Your Messengers and disgrace us not on the Day of Resurrection, for You never break (Your) Promise." (194) So their Lord accepted of them (their supplication and answered them), "Never will I allow to be lost the work of any of you, be he male or female.
and since you are trying your best Allah promises you sister
And whosoever fears Allâh and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). (2) And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allâh, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allâh will accomplish his purpose. Indeed Allâh has set a measure for all things. (3)
As for those who strive hard in Us (Our Cause), We will surely guide them to Our Paths (i.e. Allâh's religion - Islâmic Monotheism). And verily, Allâh is with the Muhsinûn (good doers)."[] (69)
i pray to Allah to make it easy for u sister. Please remember me in your duas.
m'asaalaam