:Unable to adjust with local Muslims:

[sachin4islam]

Assalamu Alaikum:

Hope everyone on TTI is through best of physical and spiritual health.

It has been about four and a half years now since when I reverted to Islam. Still I find myself very very difficult to adjust with local Muslims. A bitter thing about local Muslims (which can be applied to an average Indian Muslim too) is that their way of living from ethical view point to personal hygiene is very difficult for me to amalgamate with.

Isolation will definitely subject Imaan to a diminished status and free mixing is not feasible for me.

When I visit my Muslim friends and on being offered a feast I have to put it down with broken heart for conditions under which cooking is done are not acceptable. Few days my best post-reversion friend badly scolded me for my reluctance to eat with them.

I am very cautious about drinking-water and do not remember that in past one decade I ever drank water beyond my home.

Its all happening and for this my Imaan is many times charged.

Suggestions if any are welcome to cope this situation.

Regards.

 

[queenislam]

~May Allah swt help and guide you~Amin!

Assalamu Alaikum:

Hope everyone on TTI is through best of physical and spiritual health.

It has been about four and a half years now since when I reverted to Islam. Still I find myself very very difficult to adjust with local Muslims. A bitter thing about local Muslims (which can be applied to an average Indian Muslim too) is that their way of living from ethical view point to personal hygiene is very difficult for me to amalgamate with.

Isolation will definitely subject Imaan to a diminished status and free mixing is not feasible for me.

When I visit my Muslim friends and on being offered a feast I have to put it down with broken heart for conditions under which cooking is done are not acceptable. Few days my best post-reversion friend badly scolded me for my reluctance to eat with them.

I am very cautious about drinking-water and do not remember that in past one decade I ever drank water beyond my home.

Its all happening and for this my Imaan is many times charged.

Suggestions if any are welcome to cope this situation.

Regards.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
:salam2:

Dear brother,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92PO5YDyxT8
[yt]92PO5YDyxT8[/yt]


I really sympathy for the state and feeling that you experience,
i believe this is your personal point of view.

Brother,
While making judgement on people remember the consequences one will
meet if committing too much of suspicious and bad feeling especially among our
family in Islam.

But here i do respect if you see it that way,
my advice is to honour and trust them,
get together in the best and good manner

if you think as it is what you still like to think then,
just avoid and making good excuse/s
like you already taken your meal or bring some food/water
to eat and drink yourself even share.
This altogether
avoiding making any issue and caused misunderstanding.


You should be grateful and thankful
as in my view the community is warmth,
care and friendly oriented people.

In some little case i've came to experience
newly converted are strictly from admit to their compound and activities
because of their being non muslim once upon a time habit and of eating and touching
and doing sinned and all that haram before their coming to Islam.
Trust me,
consider yourself lucky.
Masha'allah!

~May Allah swt help and guide you~Amin!

Take care!
~Wassalam

 

[IHearIslam]

Assalaamu alaikum,

I did not fully understand your post...but what I gather is that you dont feel comfortable eating with Muslims? The reason been their personal hygene? please please correct me if I am wrong. Could you describe what is bothering you? like specific example?
From what you've written, it seems to me that it is personal? meaning that because of your personality, you're unable to completely adjust with how your local Muslim brothers eat.
I understand some people dislike eating with their hands or are very cautious about where and how their food and drink is made.
You can cope with this by letting your fellow brothers know your problem so that they dont take offence when you ask questions or refuse to eat certain food.
May Allah make things easy for you bhai. Insha'Allah you'll find away to cope with this.
I just wish I could help you more.

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

OK what I am about to write is going to upset some nerves.

Brother the tone of what you write seems to be that of a Brahmin. They are the ones who are too holy for mere mortals.

Now granted that I am not where you are if look at the life and times of the Prophet they ate from a common pot.

If a Muslim follows the proscribed rituals for cleanliness hygiene is not a problem.

What do you mean by acceptable. The wife of the Prophet ate after a cat licked the food item.

If I have failed to understand you..please forgive me and let me know where I seem to not understand.

If you can not partake of a feast cooked by Muslim hands I would give charity brother.

 

[shayma]

from what i can gather you might be suffering from OCD, its worth checking yourself out that way you would know for sure if the problem is you or other's lack of hygiene.

 

[Just a Guy]

Well I find myself having to adjust sometimes. Not only am I a new Muslim, but many times I am the only white guy at the masjid. Many of the brothers are either Arab or Asian, so there are some cultural differences that I am dealing with.

Still, all in all, it's been an interesting experience for me. I like learning about new cultures and all.

 

[bari]

:salam2:
It is not clear what you meant to say. Drinking water, what and how related to to hygine? Am I missing something? Need to have clarity.:shake:

 

[tariq353]

Assalamu Alaikum:

A bitter thing about local Muslims (which can be applied to an average Indian Muslim too) is that their way of living from ethical view point to personal hygiene is very difficult for me to amalgamate with.
........................................

Suggestions if any are welcome to cope this situation.

Regards.

Wa alykm as salam
Abdullah Bhai,

So true......others may not understand what exactly u want to ask, but i can!
Same sort of situation is with me too i always prefer to go by longer route rather then taking shortcut and passing through Muslim localities of Delhi .. i m sorry to say but they are the dirtiest .. sometimes it feels like vomiting while passing through them .. so there is no chance of eating/drinking anything in those localities ....... It surprises me as the religion which even taught us personal hygiene then how come the hygiene level of Muslims is so low(at least on our side).

Not only this at some places we have to take special care of our shoes /sandals /slippers as stealing after Friday prayer is common.


May Allah guide us.

 

[saifkhan]

Well I find myself having to adjust sometimes. Not only am I a new Muslim, but many times I am the only white guy at the masjid. Many of the brothers are either Arab or Asian, so there are some cultural differences that I am dealing with.

Still, all in all, it's been an interesting experience for me. I like learning about new cultures and all.

as-salam 'alaikum warahamtu-llah

subhan Allah

there shouldn't be any cultural barrier between any muslim. and there is nothing to adjust subhan Allah, Allah the almighty has said in the Quran: we have made you in different cultures so that you may know eachother.

like one example: we shouldn't take our cultural things as so important that we may hurt other Muslim or new muslim brother and at the same time, other muslim brother or new muslim brother shouldnt think like that I'm not co-oping with them or there is a cultural barrier.

for example:
when I pass time in mosque, I've a younger brother in Islam, Ismael (he is finnish revert and very beloved to me wa-llahi)
the scenario is:

at first, he used to make tea (when I was new in Finland) in tea maker but there were sugar in a pot, we used to pour and stir to mix and drink tea.

however when it was my turn to make tea, I made the tea and asked him about how much sugar should I put for you and then I gave him. it is a simple courtesy that i did just out of habit, what I used to do in my family or country/society.

neither I thought that it is a culture barrier, and nor did he, and I didnt even feel that he has less courtesy. but later he learnt it, it is out of love, may be before he didn't used to think so, or may be he was shy or may be he never faced such situation. but later, it was all about love for tha sake of Allah azza wa jal

it has nothing to do with Islam, like he didn't put me sugar and didn't bring the cup for me, it is just a courtesy. he was not sinful if he didn't put sugar

may be some people can comment of their behavior and that can hurt our muslim or new muslim brother.

all we have to do is to be careful about our other muslim brother, and thy we will be rewarded insha Allah.

I'm not good in writing, .may be I've sometimes moved from the point, kind apology, but I hope one can understand my point

wa-llahu a'lam

wassalam

 

[msmoorad]

Assalamu Alaikum:

Hope everyone on TTI is through best of physical and spiritual health.

It has been about four and a half years now since when I reverted to Islam. Still I find myself very very difficult to adjust with local Muslims. A bitter thing about local Muslims (which can be applied to an average Indian Muslim too) is that their way of living from ethical view point to personal hygiene is very difficult for me to amalgamate with.

Isolation will definitely subject Imaan to a diminished status and free mixing is not feasible for me.

When I visit my Muslim friends and on being offered a feast I have to put it down with broken heart for conditions under which cooking is done are not acceptable. Few days my best post-reversion friend badly scolded me for my reluctance to eat with them.

I am very cautious about drinking-water and do not remember that in past one decade I ever drank water beyond my home.

Its all happening and for this my Imaan is many times charged.

Suggestions if any are welcome to cope this situation.

Regards.

salaams to all

im South African but of Indian ancestry. my folks have been here for 4 generations now.
i know what ur talking about. we have the same problems with people from India, Pakistan, bangladesh, Sri lanka & many other countries.
their idea of clean & neat is not the same as ours.

their level of hygiene is also not the same as ours.
some of them also seem to see nothing wrong with their habits/ways when we point it out to them.
sometimes its best not to see how they prepare any food otherwise u would never eat it- we dont eat out much but i know my mother will have a fit if she sees the condition of the kithchens in some of these Ind-Pak guys' take-aways & restaurants.

so, dont worry about anyone here.
theres nothing wrong with the way you feel.

and Allah ta'ala knows best
jazakallah

 

[Isra]

As salamo alaikome

I really really do not intend to offend any of my brothers and sisters and if my words do offend please forgive me!

I also have a huge problem with some of the personal hygene of many of the Muslims I have encountered! Can someone please tell me is it forbidden to wear deodorant where there is unbelievable heat during the summer months???? To me this is extremely offensive! Im not suggesting everyone wear cologne or perfume but in this heat a shower just isnt enough most of the time! I wonder whether or not these people can smell themselves? Seriously it is most of the Muslims who have this problem so I assume that somehow deodorant is frowned upon in Islam???? Please tell me that is not the case!!!!!


Wa salam

 

[Just a Guy]

I get that there is some tension between the Indians and the Pakistanis in our community. I talked to one young Pakistani brother a few weeks ago and he had some negative things to say about Indians.

I am not Indian or Pakistani (I'm a regular white dude), but it made me uncomfortable when the brother started going on about how bad Indians were. We really didn't talk much after that.

So, how can we address that? I admit to not knowing much about the rivalry and hatred between the two. I know a little about the history between the two countries, but other than that, I am clueless.

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

Everyone needs to go to bed!!!!

Now stop...this is getting stupid.

I have lived in many parts of the world and I can tell you each culture has its own list of stink. If I started a list everyone would be crying.

Now go to bed and have sweet dreams!!!

I ask that this be closed. It does not serve Islam well. We are showing poor manners.

 

[abdul-aziz]

As salamo alaikome

I really really do not intend to offend any of my brothers and sisters and if my words do offend please forgive me!

I also have a huge problem with some of the personal hygene of many of the Muslims I have encountered! Can someone please tell me is it forbidden to wear deodorant where there is unbelievable heat during the summer months???? To me this is extremely offensive! Im not suggesting everyone wear cologne or perfume but in this heat a shower just isnt enough most of the time! I wonder whether or not these people can smell themselves? Seriously it is most of the Muslims who have this problem so I assume that somehow deodorant is frowned upon in Islam???? Please tell me that is not the case!!!!!


Wa salam

No excuses should be made when it comes to being around people. The character of the prophet, PBUH, invested in fragrances dearly. They didn't have deodorant at the time as we know of it, but the prophet, PBUH, made every effort for cleanliness and pleasant feeling in his presence.

because of economical struggles that many muslims face, they cut back on these things, when in fact some estimates indicate the prophet, PBUH spent a third of his wealth on fragrances/purfume.

Mannerism with muslims has diminished greatly. More should be posted about mannerism, but not in one big boring article. A little at a time, probably in a similar fashion of how first Muslims experienced it would be best.

Lastly, it seems like muslims today focus on what not to do, rather than focus on how we can improve.

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

I think we need to understand that it is wrong to attack people for cultural differences.

I am offended.

Here we are ready to embark upon Ramadan and this is all you can think about. Some of you have recently left the world of the kuffir and you are upset with Muslims?

Seriously folks...do not look at the mote in your neighbors eye when you have a log in yours.

Good night.

 

[Isra]

Assalaam walaikum,

I think we need to understand that it is wrong to attack people for cultural differences.

I am offended.

Here we are ready to embark upon Ramadan and this is all you can think about. Some of you have recently left the world of the kuffir and you are upset with Muslims?

Seriously folks...do not look at the mote in your neighbors eye when you have a log in yours.

Good night.

As salamo alaikome

Honestly I dont understand why you have become so offended by this thread dear sister! Its not as if someone is directing their comments towards you personally! I could honestly take this last comment of yours personally since as you may or may not know I have recently left the world of the kuffir but you are mistaken if you think I am upset with Muslims. I am more than happy to live amongst them even if they have bad hygene! I was simply trying to find out if there was something in Islam that forbade them from using deodorant!

Please dont let one thread or a few posts upset you. After all wasnt it YOU who said just a few weeks ago that we are allowed to express our feelings and debate? Nobody is being personally attacked in this thread so please dont make more out of it than it really is!

wa salam

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

Slow down and read what I wrote. Digest what I wrote.

There are many reverts on this site; including the author.

We are to enjoin good and forbid evil. This thread is not beneficial to anyone. It promotes stereotypes. It promotes ignorance.

I responded earlier and that we close this thread. There is no knowledge being gained.

Why not go and do acts of good/charity. Why not stay positive.

This thread stinks.

 

[Isra]

Assalaam walaikum,

Slow down and read what I wrote. Digest what I wrote.

There are many reverts on this site; including the author.

We are to enjoin good and forbid evil. This thread is not beneficial to anyone. It promotes stereotypes. It promotes ignorance.

I responded earlier and that we close this thread. There is no knowledge being gained.

Why not go and do acts of good/charity. Why not stay positive.

This thread stinks.

Wa alaikome salam

Ok sis I gotcha! My apologies!

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

No need to apologize.

If I know I am going to be near funktown I carry a handkerchief and dab it with perfume the old fashioned way. Slip the handkerchief in your sleeve.

The Prophet, may the Peace of Allah be upon him, encouraged us to be hygienic. We have many hadeeths on hygiene. Some that are of such a personal nature I was amazed.

Alas, there are some things we can't change in life. I always think of Mother Teresa. She went everywhere and never complained.

The long term solution to this is to update the infrastructures of the cities. To have the luxury of hot and cold running water. We need to get rid of the ills of poverty. But too many are chasing the spoils of the duyna i.e money rather than changing the duyna to the way of the Prophet. The governments of the worlds are stuffing pockets to pile up their wealth.

Forgive me...for ranting and raving.

 

[sachin4islam]

Assalamu Alaikum:

Dear Sister Aapa,I have just returned from company of my Muslim friends and have shared eating fried fish with them. I never thought I would be able to eat fish but Alhamdulillah and it tasted me very pleasant.

Thanks to humble words from sisters ''QueenIslam" and *AmatuAllah4lyf*.

My heartiest thanks to Aziz Br Tariq and MsMoorad for understanding issue I am facing with.

Regards.