when you reverted...

[2JulyBoys]

Asalaamu alaikum,

For those of you that reverted, when you reverted, what was your family's reaction?

My parents are very devout Orthodox (Antiochian) Christians. When my mother found my books on Islam, she wanted to give me information on Orthodoxy, which I politely (yet had to forcefully) decline. I had, at that point, already reverted.

My inlaws made some rather hurtful comments about Muslims the other night. My mother in law's comments were more cultural than religious, but she doesn't realize the difference. My father in law's comments were just ignorant.

But I haven't told either set of parents that I have reverted to Islam. For those that did not read my intro, my husband is Christian, but completely supportive of my decision. Insha'Allah, someday he will also revert. He is more open all the time to discuss Islam. But I have been studying Islam for 15 years. He has heard about it for all of five minutes in comparision.

Anyway, I do not know how to tell them, because I know my parents will not be happy, and I hate to disappoint them. They are very devout. There are icons of Jesus (pbuh) and other Christian saints all over their house. It will not go over well. I am interested in hearing how other families reacted, if anyone is willing to share their stories.

JAK,

Anisa

 

[marildu]

Assalamu Alaikum sister,

InshaAllah your husband will revert someday. It's very wonderful that he is supportive of your decision.

I am 18 years old and reverted in September. My family is Mormon and that is how I was raised. My family is also a military family and we moved around a lot through out my life. I had decided I was going to revert to Islam back in oh probably June. Then I found out I had a hormone disorder and it really made me consider about what Allah had given me and what I should do with it. After several months of going to church still disheartedly, but not participating. After a while I couldn't take it anymore and decided to tell my parents. My younger brother stood by me on my decision. Alhamdulillah. My mother's initial reaction was she told me to go away and we didn't exchange words for a while. The next day when I came home from work my father said we needed to talk. He begged me not to and made it sound like I was joining the "opposite side" and begged me to talk to a Mormon clergy member or missionary. I declined and was quite insulted because I was treated like I had some sort of psychological disorder. The chaos in my house lasted about 4 days, probably some of the hardest in my life. Several times a day I would be begged not to do this and I was breaking up my family. My mother even said to my brother that she wished I would never have children. They printed out articles about domestic violence in the Muslim community. The funny thing is if they had read those articles past the first paragraph they would see the article said Islam was not the culprit but culture. The last thing I remember my dad saying to me about it was "you can't just let this blow over, you have to decide whether you're with this family or not." Well Allah (swt) answered my duaas and the whole thing did eventually blow over. Now I practice in my family's Mormon house. They forbade me from wearing hijab but I still do that. They wanted me to hide it from my sister, but she knows and she's supportive. (She's 10.) It was a hard period for me, but I think it made me better overall. I now realize if you want something to happen in this life you need to do it. And I also feel better because I am now being honest with them.

 

[Imad]

Assalmoelaikoem warahamatullahi wabaraktuh,

Allahu Akbar, Masha Allah . Be patient and insha Allah jou will receive the reward.

"Sabran Sabran alla Yasir in mawidokomo eljana." Be patient be patient family of Yasser your place will be the Paradise. This words came form our prophet's mouth who encouraged the family of Yasser to be patient.

So be patient and please dear sister Anisa you have to know that it's not allowed for you to stay with your husband, because he his a non-muslim. You are now a muslim so keep in mind that the muslim has to stick to the laws of Allah.

Thank you.

If i said something from than please correct me.

wassalmoelaikoem warahmatullahi wabaraktuh,

Imad

 

[stranger786]

May Allah give u patient to my sister..

InsAllah u will get greater reward for urs hard time..

With PRayers and respect

:ma:

 

[masihuddin]

:salam2: To be supportive is not enough ,your husband has to take shahadah that is he bears witness that none is worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad (S.A.S.) is the messenger of Allah and believe inthat for you to continue as his wife

 

[dna1987]

^ I thought it was ok with your spouse is a person of the book? If her husband is a devout Christian, isn't that ok? (I think to convert, and have a divorce straight away is very hard..too hard, and remember, there is no compulsion in religion, so she shouldn't force her husband to convert by threatening him with divorce either....back to the main point).

 

[anneesa]

Salaam, like the question raised above, I have a similar query.

If you are a muslim and your husband is not, then it is haraam for both to have any kind of intimacy with each other, is it not?

Are they still allowed to stay under the same roof?

Could someone shed some light onto this pls? Jazakallah.

 

[Basicofislam]

A woman cant marry a non muslim unless they convert or one should say revert. Yes a man can marry the people of the book. See you have to look at it this way. The children always follow the fathers religion they take the fathers name.

 

[UmmTaymiyyah]

Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,

Insha Allah sister your husband will be guided, make lots of du'a for him.


It is the men who can marry the women of the book,as long as they are chaste etc.. not the other way around (i.e the muslim woman marrying the non muslim).

Sister I advise you to get advice on this matter from someone with more knowledge, insha Allah its best if you can put it to the ulemaa, but if not then you can e-mail Dr Saleh As Saleh at [email protected] insha Allah he can help.

These are some ayats from the qur'an mentioning this,

And give not (your daughters) in marriage to idolaters till they believe (in Allah alone) [al-Baqarah ayat 221]

O you who believe! When believing women come to you as emigrants, examine them; Allah knows best as to their faith, then if you ascertain that they are true believers send them not back to the disbelievers. They are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them.(A-Mumtahana ayat 10)

Like I said sis, pls do get advice from someone with more knowledge insha Allah.

I will make du'a for you insha Allah,

Wa salaamu alaykum,

Umm Taymiyyah

 

[anneesa]

But the problem with this ukhti is that she is already married, then she decided to revert but only her and not the husband.

 

[UmmTaymiyyah]

Yes I understand ukhti, thats why I advised her to get more advice on the matter. Insha Allah by going to the people of knowledge they can tell her exactly what she should do in this situation, and advise her with hikmah (wisdom) and knowledge.

 

[2JulyBoys]

Assalamu alaikum,

Thank you for your replies. Thank you so much to the first sister who told me her story - THAT is the type of reply I was looking for.

I already talked to the imam that I took shahadah with. He told me that many scholars today say that it is better to stay married than to divorce, and that as long as the husband is supportive and lets you practice, and allows the children to practice, then it is NOT an issue.

I will not now, nor ever, divorce my husband. Because of the type of upbringing I had, I will not push my religion on my husband or my children. It is up to them to come to it on their own. I will practice and be a good and faithful Muslimah and let them make the decisions for themselves. Insha'Allah they will revert themselves. One of the first things that my husband and I decided before we even got engaged was that neither of us believe in divorce. I love my husband and my two sons (ages 2 and 15 months) adore their Daddy. I would never, ever, disrupt their lives in such a way.

For those of you who said that I had to divorce my husband, I appreciate your concern, but it isn't going to happen, so please stop telling me to.

 

[nurboni]

hopefully I am of some help

Salam alaikum,

I am 17 and I converted about 3 months ago, and Alhumdulilah my parents are overall supportive. Of course the only way they learn about Islam is what they hear on the news, and what they learn from my sister (she converted before me) and I. So obviously I've had to clear up some things of what they've heard from the news about Islam. I was raised Catholic and I left the church when I was about 14 and that was a lot harder for my mom (she very much recognizes herself as a Catholic) than me becoming Muslim. My grandmother is accepting of my sister and I, and she is very much a devout Catholic but has such a beautiful soul Mashallah. I'm not sure of all my family's reaction to it because I'm not sure who has been told or not told outside of my immediate family (aunts and uncles). I know that my dad's brother and his family has been told and they're are supportive but I don't know about my mom's brother's and sisters. Inshallah you find the strength to tell your family and that is goes well, I know it's really hard but once it's over with you won't have to think about it anymore and it'll be something off your mind.

Nur

 

[marildu]

Salam alaikum,
Inshallah you find the strength to tell your family and that is goes well, I know it's really hard but once it's over with you won't have to think about it anymore and it'll be something off your mind.

Nur

Assalamu Alaikum,

Totally. Completely. Agree with you 500%. Telling my parents was one of the best things to help me keep my sanity and being honest felt very wonderful. Whether you're young or older and on your own.