Will Allah forgive me ?
For example .
I converted to Islam . I was bron in society that music was the first thing that we all live with . Going to clubs , dating , drinking , living life to the fullest. Now i converted to ISlam with the main concept that inside i got to believe that there was one God and that there is not son or nothing else but God and the angels. As well i understood that indeed it seem clear to me and logical that Muhammad (peace be upon him ) was the last prophet . People ask me what mde you to convert to ISlam , why you did it ? i only can say that it all began inside my heart . A strong believe that there was One and only God and nothing else more worthy to worship but that Almighty God . I did not took the chance to learn all the basic things about Islam just believe that there is one God and that it seems clear to me inside that i should foolow this way . I believe that this is the right way . Then read the quran for weeks , I went to the mosque to find morei nformation . That day after Isha prayer i converted to ISlam. IT was like a new begining for me . At the first i knew some rules , not drinking , not clubs , not party , not dating , not bad music , not bad movies , not to all the bad things i knew what was haram and halal . However God knows me and by the time it passed months after months i kept my self pure as i started but then the test begun . I falied more than 50 times over major sins . Now i feel all the time i wake up so a shamed of my self . Sometimes i wish i could stop breathing and not live so this way i would not fail again and again . I gotten weaker than ever i thought . I keep asking my self if there is a way and i asked God so many times to forgive me and i feel like how could i face him on prayer when i do wrong i feel so hypocrite . I know there is a solution but i cant find it , I just hope God forgives me and guide me to the point where i can see for my self the way that could stop falling .