Would u marry a Sister not observing Hijab? Would u marry a brother without Beard?

[firdowsa]

a man who is ready to get marriad for the seek of allah insha allah

 

[muthar]

Assalam Alaikum Brothers n sisters,
Is having a beard for brothers and the wearing of hijab for sisters the only true definition of a good muslim?... my point is that there are more things to being a good muslim than just growing a beard and wearing a hijab. i personally know men with beard indulging in haram activities and so is the case with women wearing hijab. In my opinion the muslim brothers and sisters on TTI give way too much importance to issues concerning the beard and hijab. I'm sure there are better and more important issues to discuss about besides these.

Jazak Allah Khair

your brother

Muthar

 

[TheHumbleWun]

I think some of you brothers/sisters are analyzing the question too hard.

I am assuming it's just asking for a personal preference in a "perfect" world (without considering a sister that wear a hjiab or a brother that has a beard engaging in haram activities, etc) if you were to get married right now, what would you like.

I'm sure there are bad representation of brothers with beards and sisters with hijab, let's make dua for them and for ourselves to keep us on the right path. I personally try to ignore talking about those people, because I see it as a form of gossip. I focus on the beauty of Islam.

walaakum salaam

 

[The_truth_pls]

there is one opinion missing. "I dont care" the reason being I have seen hijabi gals doing stuff an unmarried muslimah is not supposed to.

So yeah this poll is silly.

 

[Abdul-Raheem]

:salam2:

There are always exceptions i.e. new converts. I sometimes get sick of people saying "but it is so difficult to be seen with a hijab/beard, people stare at me, etc,etc. I'm afraid I may not be able to get this position and so on. We may face many hardships in this life but we should not forsake our religion to appease others.

Importance of the Beard in the words of Rasulullah

(1) Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) said "I have no connection with one who shaves, shouts and tears his clothing eg. in grief or affication."
- Reported by Abu Darda (R.A.) in Muslim, Hadith no. 501

(2) The teachings of Hadhrat Ammar Bin Yaasir, Abdullah Ibn Umar, Sayyidina Umar, Abu Hurairah and Jaabir (R.A.), indicate that ALL used to keep beards that were one fist length or more. Hadhrat Jaabir (R.A.) had said: "We used to grow long beards and only during Hajj and Umrah did we trim them to the required length (i.e. fist length)."

(3) Hadhrat Abdullah Ibn Umar (R.A.) relates that: "He who imitates the kuffar (non-believers) and dies in that state, he will be raised up with them on the Day of Qiyamat (Judgement)."

(4) Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) says: "Trim closely the moustache, and let the beard flow (Grow)."
- Narrated Ibn Umar (R.A.) in Muslim, Hadith no. 498

(5) "Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) ordered us to trim the moustache closely and spare the beard" says Ibn Umar.
- Muslim, Hadith no. 449

(6) Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam)said: "Act against contrary to the polythesists, trim closely the moustache and grow the beard."
- Reported by Ibn Umar (R.A.) in Muslim, Hadith no. 500

(7) Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) said "Trim closely the moustache and grow the beard."
- Reported by Abu Hurairah (R.A.) in Muslim, Hadith no. 501

(8) Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) said: "Anyone who shaves has no claim to the mercy of Allah"
- Reported by Ibn Abbas (R.A.) in Tibrabi

(9) Hadhrat Abdullah Ibn Umar (R.A.) used to cut that portion (which exceeds the grip of the hand) of the beard.
- Tirmidhi



wasalam

 

[Ahmed_2000]

salaam allaikum

I myself mashallah Have Beard and will only like to marry girl with hijab .if i ever marry born muslim then for sure if she is wearing Hijab and if she is reverted from any other faith then i will ask her and inshallh make sure that she wears hijab or else i will look for other girl and not really want to marry girl with no hijab and By hijab i dont mean Girls wearing scarf and then on bottom they wear Skin tight Pants or they wear shorts T-Shirts , so short that when they sit somewhere she is exposed . mostly in south east Asia part of world i have noticed . i wont like girl with this behaviour cuz i myself wont do it. i used to be Western moron but alhamdulila after learning about islam i dont wanna get into that kind of sinful life where every minute you are entitled to commit a sin small or big ..


I am not sure i heard if a girl doesnt wear hijab then her parents and husband will be asked on day of judgement . sorry i dont have any refernce for this if this true then please can somone provide reference or else this hadith is jus hoax i guess.


salaam allaikum

 

[abdul Qadir]

:salam2:

The Prophet said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a loser." Volume 7, Book 62, Number 27: Narrated Abu Huraira.

i dont think i have to say much ..... brothers ..... if u choose a pious sister then she'll follow the ayah that tells women to cover ..... and sister if you choose a pious brother then he'll follow the ways of the Prophet (s.a.w)

and Allah knows best

 

[Slave-of-Allah]

I myself mashallah Have Beard and will only like to marry girl with hijab .if i ever marry born muslim then for sure if she is wearing Hijab and if she is reverted from any other faith then i will ask her and inshallh make sure that she wears hijab or else i will look for other girl and not really want to marry girl with no hijab and By hijab i dont mean Girls wearing scarf and then on bottom they wear Skin tight Pants or they wear shorts T-Shirts , so short that when they sit somewhere she is exposed . mostly in south east Asia part of world i have noticed . i wont like girl with this behaviour cuz i myself wont do it. i used to be Western moron but alhamdulila after learning about islam i dont wanna get into that kind of sinful life where every minute you are entitled to commit a sin small or big ..

:ma:

:salam2:

The Prophet said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a loser." Volume 7, Book 62, Number 27: Narrated Abu Huraira.

i dont think i have to say much ..... brothers ..... if u choose a pious sister then she'll follow the ayah that tells women to cover ..... and sister if you choose a pious brother then he'll follow the ways of the Prophet (s.a.w)

and Allah knows best

That is so true! Allah knows best!:tti_sister:

 

[kayleigh]

The beard isn't the end all, be all. Like someone already said (just about hijab) - there are men with a beard I wouldn't marry, and men without a beard that I would marry. It's not the most important thing, nor is it the deciding factor to what builds a strong and healthy relationship.

So, yes, I would probably marry a brother without a beard. But, I don't have to worry about such things now and I won't for a long time!

 

[abou haytam]

salam

i vote for girl WITH hijab just because girl wearing hijab mean that she is ready to live and grow up her kids in a muslim way. hijab and beard don t mean good and bad muslim but it s a frist step ...and it s the first hard step for woman and man too.

PS: i don t wear beard. and i will incha allah when i go back in morocco. i don t need other eyes to observe me..my face is enough lol.

 

[Kayote]

Asslamo Allaikum,

The most important consideration for me would be to marry a sister based on “her religion” & I accept that wearing Hijab is a manifestation of her religion; BUT…

I am an odd-ball and if I was to get married, I would construct a “psychological profile” of the sister (& I did of every single sister when I was going to get married, maintained a spread-sheet & so on***) and if I genuinely believe that she is “inclined towards practising” then I would marry her & if she was not wearing Hijab then I am sure that she will (Insha’Alla) in the future

Based on cold, hard and dispassionate analysis, there are plenty of Non-Hijabi sisters I would ABSOLUTELY marry!

Based on cold, hard and dispassionate analysis there are plenty of Hijabi or even Naqabi sisters that I would ABSOLUTELY pass!

Fortunately my wife was always practising…

Based on cold, hard and dispassionate analysis, Istikhara, Shura & 6 years of married life I would marry her (my wife) EVEN if she was not wearing a Hijab everyday & twice on a Sunday…but I know that she would have NEVER even considered me f I didn’t a beard

*** P.S: Since I actually told every single sister that I was considering about my “System”; some of them actually asked for detailed feed back (can you believe it???) so I sent them long e-mails explaining and stuff…(It was funny at the time) & in turn appreciated it

I actually had a system of saying “No” politely (loop-backs i.e. how to handle problems) because I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings

Some may think that I am a nutcase and they may be right but I always plan things and create a system and analyse everything I (it’s just in my nature I suppose)…

I love your idea. Insha'Allah, I'll follow this as well when the time comes...

 

[Globalpeace]

Asslamo Allaikum,

It was my small attempt to plan something which is one of the most stressful things in life; and apart from stress there are many things that can go wrong if you don’t keep track of things.

 

[Destiny_Jannah]

AsSalamu aleykom

hard to judge any brother based on wether they have beard or not. but I would prefer a brother who is pious Insha'Allah.

 

[Globalpeace]

Asslamo Allaikum,

Masha'Allah; nicely put.

AsSalamu aleykom

hard to judge any brother based on wether they have beard or not. but I would prefer a brother who is pious Insha'Allah.

 

[basheer76]

So many fundamental things we forget!

:salam2:

With regards to the brother who said that the beard is not mandatory well I have news for you it is. The reason for this is that; let me break it down for you. If you had a child and told him not to move from a spot but he does how would you feel? upset? because he did not listen to you, now lets think that father was the Prophet saw and we are that child. Also we are told in the Qur’an, to take what the Prophet saw tells us and to stay away from what he forbids us.

And Allah knows best if I have made a mistake it is from me.

Brother, no body can deny that the Prophet SAAW recommended ( or may be ordered) to have beard ( I, myself, have a beard) but I mean it seems that having a beard is a lot easier than giving Sadaqa ( charity ) and a lot easier than performing qiyam and waking up for Fajr prayer.
So, I think there is no time to discuss about appearance because once your heart is in full submission to Allah SWT you will follow His prophet. Also, we need to set priorities in our Deen ( faith ) and limits. Once our muslim society reaches a certain level of Iman and knowledge than we will have time to discuss minor issues. These days the issues of the muslims are fundamental not superficial.
Allah knows best.
Salam.

 

[boupj]

asalaamu alaikom waramatullahe wabarakatuh,
ok, I wear hijab and though I wanted to wear niqab I did not because it is very hard for a single sister in the US to wear..... I thought once I got married I would wear niqab because I then had the protection of my husband but he does not allow me to wear niqab.... he says only hijab is mandatory according to the Quran...... I am still trying to talk him into allowing me to wear niqab........ (as we have only been married for 2 weeks!) but the biggest reason he was interested in marrying me was because I wore hijab and practiced our deen fully......
He however does not wear a beard but otherwise he also practices our deen fully, I am also still trying to talk him into wearing a beard but he is afraid I think to stand out too fully as a practicing muslim here in the US...... the day after I came to my husbands work wearing hijab ( I had to go there this was not something I could avoid!) he was told not to come into work for a couple of days because there wasnt enough work that week..... but he was the ONLY person laid off for a couple of days!!!!!!
you have to look at the situation a person is in before you can judge why they are not wearing a beard or hijab or niqab....... Allah swt is the ONLY judge!!!!!!!!

I've spoken to a lot of brothers who say they will never let their wives wear niqaab because it's extreme and it's not mandatory. I simply tell them 1. it's a woman's personal choice. 2. it's between her and Allah and 3. if Allah has put it upon a woman's heart to wear niqaab then it is mandatory for her, even if it is not mandatory according to a scholar. I wear hijab but I never judge a sister without hijab and I never judge a sister with niqaab. We have been given the Qur'an and sunna as guidelines and they set out rlues, but at the same time we all have our own relationships with Allah and we all have to do things in our own time and in the right way. I know a sister right now who's struggling with the Abaya and I'm currently trying to find skirts instead of slacks. Every woman has her own comfort level and knows when the time is right to do something, and if you feel it's your time then do it.

Also people who worry about standing out and dealing with negative stereotype, it is a valid concern but it is not a reason to not practice a part of the faith. I forget his name but I'm sure you all know who I'm talking about, it was one of the early followers of the prophet (pbuh) who lay on the ground with stones on his chest and wouldn't deny Allah. Allah doesn't like it when we have to suffer for his sake, but he makes it so that there is great reward in the end.