salam sister palestine i have read your thread and felt sympthy for you,, i cant change your mind about marriages ,, but as your brother in islam its my duty to give you good advice and be your well wisher,, only an alim or a knowledble islamic person can give you perfect advice which i am not but still reading your views make mme sad and i feel for you,,
all i would say is every1 has problems and issues within themselves but it doesnt mean tht they cant be a good life partner or parent sometime in life you find some1 special who can change your life completely and gives a 360degree turn in one's life and as far as kids goes once you become parent there is a whole new and lovely expereince ( i m not a parent just wht i beleive and imagine
) ALLAH puts love and kindness in a parent's heart for their kids ,, sister all you have to do is pray and make dua for tht special 1 and you will see how ALLAH make things easy for you (i myself hoping the same for myself so you r not alone
)