anger towards mother

[zinirah]

ASsalamu 'Alaykum,
I moved back home 2 months ago like I said i would in my other threads...everything was fine in the beginning but now I have so much anger towards my mother, I am disgusted to even look at her...Ya Allah help me. I can't be around her after the things she has done in front of my face...like she burned my copy of Qur'an in the yard, and then laughed about it she mocks me everyday, yells at me about religion, wont let me go anywhere with her outside of the house because I wear hijab, and she is embarrassed so she makes me act like i don't know her in the store. Then she tells me that she was angry at God for making me a Muslim...but i am dealing with all this stuff, because I have a freedom to practice Islam in my room. In secret alhamdulillah. She broke her promises and she is just the worse mother ever. Even she tries to prevent me from talking to friends she thinks i have, but i don't even have any and she she has put a block on the phone. I don't even talk on the phone just this is example of how stupid she is being......but after all this how can i be around her?? Yesterday i became upset I like wrecked her collection of music and paintings she has....Ya Allah help me!!!! I want to be calm! I don't have any anger problem I just can't stand her.

 

[sistersalina]

Salam sister zinirah,
I am sooo sorry to hear ur situation. I do believe it is really hard to stay with your mom. Burning the copy of Quran is really something bad. Isn't there any other place for you to live. Any other muslimah's house that you can stay temporarily? However, for now please be patient as much as you can. Remember there is a reason why you are going through this. MAybe it is a form of test from Allah. Make a lot of dua and if time allows try praying some solah which is sunat. Dont worry my dear sister, Allah is right there next to you, listening to you..Ask him to give you enough strenght and abundance of patient. Insya Allah everything will be all right. Try not to wreck her belongings, because this is going to make her furious and feel happier because it may look like as if you really care about all the bad things that she does. Remember you are the muslim, Allah is here with you. Prove to her that Islam teaches you to be patient and rational. Islam does ask to act irresponsibly like hoe she does. If you dont react to what she is doing, she might get bored and Insya Allah will stop reacting like that. I will pray for you sister. Dont worry.

Wassalam

 

[Libinette]

Wa aleykum salaam,

I did not read your previous threads so I may not have the full picture but one thing i know for sure is that: you need to calm yourself. No matter what your mother does: she is still your mother. What kind of image does she get from you when you wreck her paintings? I am concious that it must be horrible to live in such environment but you should NEVER reply an evil by an evil..

Surely, what you are living is NOT worse than what our beloved Prophet sallalaah aleyhi wa salaam lived. Therefore, your behaviour should be of the highest standard. Mothers are mothers no matter what, and if she sees how Islaam affects your way of living and the way you treat her, she may become interesseted BUT if you behave like how u described then tell me, how can she ever become interesseted? Ever?

Let me also advise you my dear sister to read more about the status of the mother in Islaam, and hopefully you will change your perspective.

There was a time when my mother and I did not get along very well and that was when i became practising. With time and patience, she is the best mother i could dream to have,mashallaah. I did not have to do much you know...

Finally, do not forget to continually make: DUA, DUA, DUA

tAKE care sister ökissö

 

[ummyasiin]

Mashallah, ukthi.....situations like this I open my door, however, this is not possible so I will open my ears, and heart. May Allah grant you ease...AMEEN. I 2 went through some situations with my umm, and at times I became so frustrated I acted out of character, may Allah keep you on the straight path, AMEEN. My advice to you is stay MUSLIM, strive for patients, ask Allah for guidance. I could get into a whole lot of stories from me being the ONLY muslim in my family and at my work place and the struggle may be hard know, but as Allah swt has spoken, "the greater the hardship, the greater the relief" I also recommned to read Quran 1st and if your emotions are to strong that you cant focus on what you are reading, I will suggest to read Trials and Tribulations wisdom and benifits By Imam Al~Izz bin Abdui s Salam with appendix from the works of alHafiz ibn al Qayyim.... this book has also helped me. do not entertain the acts of your umm, it will further entyce her to do more. feel free to contact me. As Salaamu Alaikum

 

[Abdul Hasib]

Assalamu Aleykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakaathuh, Wahubuhu, Wamagfiraathuh, Wafadhluhu sister Zinirah. I remember that time when I read your post a couple of months ago about how your mother was going to kick you out of your home, and then about how you later stayed in Pennsylvania, and then when your mother promised that if you live with her again, and finish school, then she would NOT stop you from practicing your religion. It turns out that she lied, and unfortunately, it's not going too well in your situation.

I think that it might be good if you moved in with another sister? Maybe if you found a good sister (who you know, and) who lives in your area (or your neighborhood, etc.), then you could move in with her? It might not be bad either, if you did that, and also if you just visited your mother at times, because that would be easier, Inshallah.

Does your mother feel like kicking you out of the house? Because if she does, then that's more of a reason of why you might be able to get to stay with some sisters, or some kind Muslim family that could help you, Inshallah.

I'm only 15, so I can't really help take you in. (Persoanally,) I don't know any sisters that live around in your area, but here's this one Masjid, that's about 13 minutes away from Bordentown, were you live.

Masjid Shuhadah (from Google Maps) [click here!]

Please forgive me for being of no help to you sister. If I have ever saddened or angered you, or any other brothers and sisters, then May Allah Subhanahu wa Ta Alla atone me from my sins (through tests). Gosh, it hurts seeing the situation that you are in sister. If you live in a place were you can practice your Islam, then Wallahi (by Allah, Subhanahu wa Ta Alla) it will make you feel better. You are living in the kind of situation that the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) lived through for 13 years in Mecca, him and his followers, under oppression, and having to practice their religion in secret, and when they made Hijrah (a journey) to Medinah, they were able to practice Islam to the FULLEST, because they were FREE from not being able to worship freely.

And so I think that is why the best situation for you sister, is that you start to be in contact with a lot of sisters here on TTI, whether they are from the USA, Canada, or the UK, (etc.) so that they can atleast support you (through) your hardships (Inshallah), and then Inshallah, maybe later on we could find a kind-hearted Muslim sister who can take care of you, Inshallah.

I'll try my best, Inshallah. And Allah Subhanahu wa Ta Alla knows best.

 

[allah is with me]

sister allah is testing you...
plz sister calm down, be calm...
each and every day beg allah, pray allah, and say to make your mother fine...

sister, plz do not get upset, allah is testing you, he testing you thknking that' weather you will skip this (islam) becausee of so much pain and suffer, or weather you will carry on with the beautiful realigon(islam)..plz calm down sis, allah is with you...

 

[revert2007]

astafirullah.am so sorry for u sis.alhamdulilah my mother was amazing and accepting when i convert.even when people ask why did u allow ,she will say"thats her wish and as long as she is happy,am happy too"
u can read the rest of my story on this post

http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showthread.php?p=364776#post364776

 

[IHearIslam]

:salam2:

TIGHTEST HUGGZZZZ!!!!!!

Sister, I pray that Allah helps you through this tough time, I dont think I am familiar with your other threads, but I can imagine the pain and the suffering you are going through, like brother Abdul Hasib said, get in to contact with some sisters through here, (I can be of help to you, inshaAllah, check your VM) I dont live in New Jersey, buy hey, I would love to LISTEN and open my heart up to you when ever you wanna rant, talk or what not!! it hurts ALOT sister, wallahi to know of your situation, but like beloved brother Abdul Hasib said, the prophet and His conpnions lived like that for soooo LONG!! but through it Allah gave them patience and FREED them after awhile.....which means Allah is there for ALL His servants!! these are just tests, that you are going through, and remember this: *Allah does NOT burden a soul with something IT CANNOT bear* WITH every difficulty there comes EASE.......Allah LOVES you dear sister, doesn't that give YOU hope....through this your sins are being ERASED, and your status of Jannah is going UP!! subhnaAllah sister, Allah is there for you...just trust HIM and portray the BEST of Islam to your mother.
I LOVE YOOUUUU SO MUCH FOR ALLAH'S sake!!!
HUUGGIIIESS!!
your sister, Ubah

 

[Asja]

Assalamu Allaicum wa raahmatullah wa baarkatuhu my dear sister.

Dear sister,please do not be sad and upset. Wallahi i am so sad to hear for your situacion. InshAllah Allah Almighty will be there for you always because you are Muslim and you are His Servent. It can happen that somtimes Allash help get late but Inshallah it will come. Trust in Allah dear sister and make a loot of duas and prayers. There are a loot of Muslims,revert Muslims,and even almost all Prophets which went trough hardship but still they stayed strong. Inhsallah try to stay strong and look for some realistic solutions.

I do not know which kind of relation with you had with your mom before Islaam.If it was good and if your mom aways loved you than Wallahi I do not understand why she is acting the way she is. If she loved you before sister and was nice and kind towerd you like the mother should be,than I think that mabye her heart will get soft after some time and she will see her mistake with Allahs help.
Try too talk with her,tell her how much do you love Allah subhan we teal and that Islaam is your choice.Maybe sister after she see your tears and sadnesss she will look diffrent on Islaam. You should tell her that you ask of her only to respect your religion,and that if she does not want to than she does not need to accept it but yes to respect Alhmadulillah,and that she is still your mother who you love a loot.

If this continue happening that maybe you should ask help of some relatives,cousins,or some sister friends.

May Allah help you dear sister.:tti_sister:

Your sister,Asja

 

[JustaBeliever]

"I am disgusted to even look at her"
"she is just the worse mother ever"

Sister Salaam, I've said in som many words the same things of my mother AstafigAllah! She did not accept my Deen at ALL! I was not aloud to even attend her wedding with the hijab I had to watch from the side line.

Sister let me remind you that these are tests from Allah, whether your mother or my mother are believers or not: we as MUSLIMS need to be the bigger personn and understand that they are still our Mothers our most beautiful loving Mothers. MashAllah! as Allah has willed sister.

My mother has said countless fowl things to my face, behind my back and the feeling is that your heart is being ripped out. Yet sister I've overcame this by simply understanding that she is My Mother and that I should love her.

Allah will deal with those who mistreat US, so do not harm those things in which belong to her even though she did the horrible mistake of burning the Quran AstafigAllah sister Allah will deal with her. But when you do things like that to get back...sister you only heart your self, to get even with someone is so bad, it's better for you as a believer of allah The Most Merciful Most Gracious to forgive.

It is the curse of shayton that lingers with us and tempts us to do such eveil actions and to get back at people, but sister your heart is the one at risk it. be as pious and humblee as you can. SHOW your Mother that Muslims are by the will of Allah kind, and forgiving, she will InchAllah come to see that she's wasting her time when she realizes that Allah has your heart not he, and that he can make you smile evven when she makes you sad sister, do not fuel her fire, for Allah will handle everything! Have faith sister and be patient and as kind as you can.

My mother and I are now on talking terms and Allah has allowed me to forgive every bad word she has hit me with Alahamdulilah! I love her to death whether she believes in my God, THE God Allah or not she is, and will always be My Mother

Al- Hadith sister

A man once came to the prophet (pbuh) and said
"who among the people is most worthy of my companionship?"
the prophet(pbuh) said " your mother"
the man asked " than who?"
the prophet replied "than your mother"
the man further asked "than who"
the prophet said "than your mother"
the man ask again "than you"
the prophet replied "than your father"

Sister I hope these words will help you InchaAllah I wish you the very best.

 

[Asja]

Assalamu Allaicum

This is for you my dear sister. May Allah help you and your mother,and fullfill your hearts with love for each other.Ameen.


When God set the world in place,
when He hung the stars up in space,
when He made the land and the sea,
then He made you and me.

He sat back and saw all that was good,
He saw things to be as they should.
Just one more blessing He had in store;
He created a mother, but whatever for?

He knew a mother would have a special place
to shine His reflection on her child’s face.
A mother will walk the extra mile
just to see her children smile.

She’ll work her fingers to the bone
to make a house into a home.
A mother is there to teach and guide,
a mother will stay right by your side.

She’ll be there through your pain and strife,
she’ll stay constant in your life.
A mother will lend a helping hand
until you have the strength to stand.

She’ll pick you up when you are down,
when you need a friend she’ll stick around.
A mother is one who listens well,
will keep her word; will never tell.

A mother never pokes or pries
but stands quietly by your side,
giving you the strength you need,
encouraging you to succeed.

A mother is one who can be strong
when you need someone to lean on.
You’re more than a mother to me;
a reflection of Him in your face I see,

a love that knows no boundaries.
I’m glad that you chose to be
all this and more to me.
You share a love that knows no end,

you’re more than my mother,
you are my friend

By Kari Keshmiry

 

[mhamzah]

:salam2: sister,

May Allah swt make things easy for you and give your mother guidance.

[yt]u1W4wv4K8rM[/yt]

 

[islamdonlyway]

asalamualikum, very sad to hear your story sister.cant belive people (like your mother) can do these stuff.but sister the best thing is to do is be patiant and calm allah testees the belivers to see if they stay in the true path or not, so maybe allahs testing you and giveing you hard time.allah says

“Did you think that you would enter Heaven without Allah testing those of you who fought hard (in His Cause) and remained steadfast?” (Surat Aal-e-Imran, 3:142)

allah teslls us clearly we cant enter jannah easyly without him testing us, inshallah ul come out successfull, ameen.

 

[m1511]

Assalualaikum
ıt is obvious that you suffer a great difficulty and you are under great pressure. This is a very hard test. I hope you find another place to stay until you rmother accepts the new situation. Otherwise continous exposure to the offending subject (sorry but this time this is you for your mother) may increase the anger in her and increase the reaciton against her. her behaivour reminds me of a type of depression she may be suffering from for the time. Actually every mother loves her child. I wonder if you can find someone to persuade her get professional support. But anyway I hope you find another shelter for you until the storm is over.
At least know that many people here pray for you. May Allah help you sister.

 

[islam_best]

Assalaamlaikum warahmatullahi wabarakathuu,

Sister THIS IS A TEST for you. Allah Subhanwata'la is alwayssssssssssss with you. Just remember this. Even if you 4get Him or remember Him He is there with you always to guide you for He Loves us!!!!!!!!!! A mothers love for her child is nothing compared to the Love He has for His slaves. He is just trying to make you strong to stand up and walk more evenly and confidently on the right path as he never guides any1 to the wrong path. He Loves us, Cares for us which is why he has kept the Quran completely pure for his as this is our Only Guidance now.Just imagine if the Quran and the SUnnah wouldnt have been there then what qould our lives be!!! Ya Mujeeb bestow upon my sister and me all ou TTI memebr Your Light,Guidance,Mercy,Reward,Love throughout our lives till our deaths Inshallah.Grant my sister's mother Hidayat and show her the right path, that is Islam and save us all from the torment of the grave,torment of the day of jusgement and the hellfire and grant us all Jannatulfirdous in the hereafter. Ameen Ya Mujeeb, Ameen Ya Raheem, AMeen Ya ALlah Ameen. Remember sis whenever feeling lonnely read the Holy QUr'an and make a lot of dua and siss chillllllllll we r ther for uuuuuUU!!!!! keep up with us ur famil Inshallah.

Wassalaamalaikum warahmatullahi wabarakathuu.

 

[zinirah]

Assalamu Aleykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakaathuh, Wahubuhu, Wamagfiraathuh, Wafadhluhu sister Zinirah. I remember that time when I read your post a couple of months ago about how your mother was going to kick you out of your home, and then about how you later stayed in Pennsylvania, and then when your mother promised that if you live with her again, and finish school, then she would NOT stop you from practicing your religion. It turns out that she lied, and unfortunately, it's not going too well in your situation.

I think that it might be good if you moved in with another sister? Maybe if you found a good sister (who you know, and) who lives in your area (or your neighborhood, etc.), then you could move in with her? It might not be bad either, if you did that, and also if you just visited your mother at times, because that would be easier, Inshallah.

Does your mother feel like kicking you out of the house? Because if she does, then that's more of a reason of why you might be able to get to stay with some sisters, or some kind Muslim family that could help you, Inshallah.

I'm only 15, so I can't really help take you in. (Persoanally,) I don't know any sisters that live around in your area, but here's this one Masjid, that's about 13 minutes away from Bordentown, were you live.

Masjid Shuhadah (from Google Maps) [click here!]

Please forgive me for being of no help to you sister. If I have ever saddened or angered you, or any other brothers and sisters, then May Allah Subhanahu wa Ta Alla atone me from my sins (through tests). Gosh, it hurts seeing the situation that you are in sister. If you live in a place were you can practice your Islam, then Wallahi (by Allah, Subhanahu wa Ta Alla) it will make you feel better. You are living in the kind of situation that the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) lived through for 13 years in Mecca, him and his followers, under oppression, and having to practice their religion in secret, and when they made Hijrah (a journey) to Medinah, they were able to practice Islam to the FULLEST, because they were FREE from not being able to worship freely.

And so I think that is why the best situation for you sister, is that you start to be in contact with a lot of sisters here on TTI, whether they are from the USA, Canada, or the UK, (etc.) so that they can atleast support you (through) your hardships (Inshallah), and then Inshallah, maybe later on we could find a kind-hearted Muslim sister who can take care of you, Inshallah.

I'll try my best, Inshallah. And Allah Subhanahu wa Ta Alla knows best.

ASsalamu 'Alaykum Dear brother in Islam, I thank you very much for your advise to move in with another sister. I am still with my mother in Pennsylvania. My mother lives in Pa, but when I was living in New Jersey i had to travel all the way there. Ah back and forth it's just stressful. In Pennsylvania i do not know any muslim sisters around, even in this area it's non diverse. I live in farm area like in the middle of no where. Well I would take that advice to live with another sister but it's not possible. I really appreciate your help. Right now i am just dealing with my mother until Allah subhana wa ta'ala takes me insha'Allah. That's my biggest wish.
Well may Allah bless you.
Assalamu 'Alaykum wa ramatullahi wa barakatu