Are you a lonely Muslim?

Status
Not open for further replies.
Globalpeace

Globalpeace

Banned
Asslamo Allaikum,

I was trying to do some work last night and the kids kept bugging me and wouldn’t let me get on. Lately I have been having serious problems with finding time for anything and every time I want to do something , there is something that needs to be done like buying kids toys, nappies, they want to go the toilet etc. etc. etc.

So my mind went back over 8-9 years ago when I was divorced!

It was the WORST period of my life, when I finally decided to get a divorce after years of suffering emotional and psychological abuse and torture my first reaction was “Right! I am NEVER going to get married AGAIN. I don’t want to any relationship with a woman, EVER!”

And then I got lonely!

I got so lonely it hurt, I stayed longer at work, I watched TV (stupid programs that I wouldn’t normally watch), I watched movies (DVDs after DVDs) …on weekends I either went driving aimlessly and exploring outdoors or went back to work to dig up and make up non-sense work that I could have taken care of in the week!

I spent hours and hours on the Internet till my eyes hurt…

I obviously prayed at the Mosque but most people go home after Esha to be with the family and that’s when loneliness used to hit me, big time!

You have to experience this to understand what I am talking about! It wasn’t physical need of a woman, this was just loneliness, someone to talk to etc…
I even contemplated dating someone just to get out of my loneliness and then Allah (SWT) saved me from the Fitnah, although so many girls (Muslims & Non-Muslims) implied it but I cried to Allah (SWT) to save me from Haram.
Then I realised that I have no choice BUT to get married and then it got worse…

So I devised a system i.e. my spreadsheet and all that!

All I wanted to do was to find a practising Sister who is on Qur’aan & Sunnah and it was a nightmare, I met one weird Sister after another; I don’t have time to go into stories but trust me there are a lot of weird women out there!
Beautiful women but sort of messed up (from an Islamic perspective)!

And then I almost gave up and said forget this! There is no hope of finding anyone suitable because I was sick of communicating (e-mail, phone, visits)….I met so many Muslim women that most of my replies were Auto-Pilot or document (copy & paste on e-mail)….They all asked the same bloody questions, incidentally.

And then out of nowhere I met my wife…She wasn’t even on the radar, someone introduced and we got married & everything just fell in place!
Job done!

What saved me from absolute and total mental breakdown was:

• Belief in Allah (SWT) and a lot of duas
• Sticking to a routine as much as I could…doing the little things everyday, consistently to get my mind OFF the big LONELY picture of my life
• Hanging around Good and Practising Muslims
• Never losing hope (coming very close to it many times)

If I was to sum up my whole message in two verses, it would be:

[94:5] So, undoubtedly, along with the hardship there is ease.
[94:6] Undoubtedly, along with the hardship there is ease.​
 
virtualeye

virtualeye

Tamed Brother
AssalaamuAlaikum,

Ok, but this "HM's Servant" thing is a disgrace, at least in my dictionary. Please change it to "HM's Boss".

Wassalaam
 
Globalpeace

Globalpeace

Banned
Difference between HM's & HM

W-Salam,

HM (Right) with an apostraphy = His Masjesty i.e. Allah (SWT)'s Servant

HM (left) without the apostraphy = Elizabeth the Second

Standard English language convention as employed by Birtish Government.

Her Majesty, Elizabeth the Second of United Kingdom, Head of Commonwealth DOES NOT use apostraphy after HM and before the s for her departments.

I am surprised that NO ONE at TTI has caught that and people have even accused me of Shirk!

virtualeye said:
AssalaamuAlaikum,

Ok, but this "HM's Servant" thing is a disgrace, at least in my dictionary. Please change it to "HM's Boss".

Wassalaam
Click to expand...
 
Hiba_Islam

Hiba_Islam

Junior Member
Salam,

In most cases it is better to stay alone than to make the wrong choice and pay for it the rest of your life.

A good advice is that a person should set his/her priorities in life then make a move toward marriage. While making sure that the chosen partner is a pious and mercyful human being.

Alhamdoulilah
 
A

Aapa

Mirajmom
Salaam Brother,

I am at a point in my life where I am looking at divorce. It is difficult. As a mother I have to meet my obligations. I am busy until I fall asleep. I am lonely.
At my age, it is hard to find a husband..given where I live..I have not heard of any redneck Muslims...but I have not given up hope.
I believe that Allah gives us partners who meet us in our spritual development. I do want to have fun. I want someone to pray with, to fast with, to read the Quran with, to spend an idle moment with...InshAllah, I have left it in Allah's hands..
in the meanwhile... I can paint, do odd jobs, yard work, social work , and have a moment for some wishful thinking...
if not here on this physical plane...just think of the joy of janna and a husband at the same time..
 
jabba

jabba

Salafi Dawah is the best
Salam Sister Mirajmom
:lol: there is actually a brother on this forum called "redneck"....lol found a redneck for you :)
 
Hiba_Islam

Hiba_Islam

Junior Member
Naw333 said:
:salam2:


Its hard to find a girl like my mom.
:wasalam:
Click to expand...

Brother Salam, well what you ahev said is one of the things that causes divorce. Every woman has her own personality that includes strengths and weaknesses. So instead of lloking for someone like your mum be ready to be understanding, merciful and compromizing.
In fact just follow the teachings of our beloved prophet (SAW) and you will be happily married.

Hope you all happy life Inshalah.
 
Globalpeace

Globalpeace

Banned
Lonely? What to do!

Asslamo Allaikum,

There is a bitter truth about life!

Divorces, breakups, loss of job, death, accidents, disease...Whether you are a Muslim or Not there is absolutely JACK you can do about any of these and you have NO power to STOP any of these from occurring!

Make no mistakes about that...Whether you are Muslim or Not, you are NOT in control of your life and turns and twists it takes...Losing control or thinking that you have lost control is the NUMBER ONE FACTOR for people going bonkers and loopy and going to see Shrinks!

Now lets turn to Islam as we are all Muslims and get some facts straight:

1. Allah (SWT) is YOUR Creator
2. Allah (SWT) is the Creator of your life
3. Allah (SWT) is the Creator of time, circumstances and twists and turns
4. Allah (SWT) controls everything
5. Allah (SWT) has no vendetta or vengeance against you
6. Allah (SWT) is the Most Merciful and Specially Merciful

Now 1-4 automatically means that YOU CONTROL NOTHING!

5-6 mean that Allah (SWT) is NOT out there to inflict pain and punishment on you!

So why has your life suddenly taken an ugly turn?

7. Either you are being tested i.e.

"Be sure we shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods or lives or the fruits (of your toil), but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere, Who say, when afflicted with calamity: "To Allah We belong, and to Him is our return":- They are those on whom (Descend) blessings from Allah, and Mercy, and they are the ones that receive guidance. [Quran 2:155-157]

8. Or your life is heading in the wrong direction and your mishap is meant to be a JOLT to wake you up!

End-result for a believer for both 7-8 is the same which is:

Narated By Abu Said Al-Khudri and Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, "No fatigue, nor disease, nor sorrow, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim, even if it were the prick he receives from a thorn, but that Allah expiates some of his sins for that." (Sahih Bukhari Vol 7, Book 70, #545) Paying for sins in this world is much easier than paying in the Hereafter. It is a blessing in disguise which Allah(swt) bestows upon us and saves us from the payment of these sins in the Hereafter.

Narated By Abu Huraira: Allah's Apostle said, "If Allah wants to do good to somebody, He afflicts him with trials." (Sahih Bukhari Vol 7, Book 70, #548)
So all you CAN do is control your reaction to the tests/trials, be patient and there is a SILVER LINING in every cloud...

Worrying, crying, feeling Sorry for yourself doesn’t get you anywhere!
So you think that you are in a hole and you need to climb out of it, what do you actually do:

1. First and foremost ACCEPT that you are in a DIRE situation, denying won’t get you anywhere.

2. Turn towards Allah (SWT) and particularly guard your Salah in dire circumstances. Most brothers/Sisters start to skip once-in-a-while and this has a detrimental affect on your spirituality and your emotional state gets worse! FORCE yourself to pray no matter how hard Shaytaan messed with your head

3. Read or listen to Qur’aan...IT does wonders for your emotional state and like 2 shaytaan will try to keep you away from this as well!

4. Go back and read 7 & 8 and realise that you are being TESTED and being REWARDED and your sins are BEING forgiven and your status is being RAISED

5. Continually engage in duas to Allah (SWT)...when-ever you feel down (happens particularly when you are alone)....straight away be POSITIVE and make dua to Allah (SWT) cry your eyes out if you have to...no shame in it for men or women in crying in front of your Creator...he holds ALL the KEYS

6. Work out a plan or some sort of a daily routine and STICK to it like Glue (and this will be very hard) because Shaytaan and your Nafs will tell you to just sit around and mooch around

7. Take up exercise

8. Stick to good practising Muslim Brothers/Sisters as good people and their happiness is contagious and avoid doomsayers

9. SPEND AS LITTLE TIME ALONE AS POSSIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Go way out of your way to be with Muslims or even people (who are NOT engaged in Haram!)

And Insha’Allah you will see that the situation will increase for the better....

So you can be POSITIVE and ATTACK or be NEGATIVE and MOOCH around!
Its upto you.

I wish I could tell you to rely on the Ummah to soak your tears and give you a Hug and take away your pains and worries but I am not in the business of empty selling pipe-dreams to people!

You are on YOUR OWN and ONLY YOU can get yourself out of it!​

P.S: Last but not least! Taking unIslamic Activities would seem like temporary relief (Shaytaan will make you see it) BUT in the long run
it will ruin you!
 
Hiba_Islam

Hiba_Islam

Junior Member
Salam brother GB

Thank you and jazzaku lah khairan for keeping our spirits high and fine really good advices.

Please keep showering us with your knowledge.

Salam
 
H

hussain.mahammed

a lonely traveller
As salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wabrakatuhu
I will put it right in front of desk. These words just keep me going and gets me more stronger. Allahu Akbar. I have been trying to get control and Alhamdulillah I am getting control of it.
I will get back to you soon akhee GP.
Jazakumullah khair to all brothers and sisters out here in TTI.
Please make duas for me Insha Allah Taala.
wa/salam
 
shaheeda35

shaheeda35

strive4Jannah
:salam2:
To be lonely is not an easy thing. You want that closeness from someone that makes you feel special. I have my children, but it is not the same thing as having that someone to cater to you after the kids go to sleep. Not just physical, but on a mental and spiritual level. Staying up to watch a movie, talking, or studying a surah/ayat, or hadith together. This is what I love, mashallah. I am on iddah now, and I pray that I find that "ONE" to fullfill those aspects of my life and strive towards Jannatal-Firdaus inshallah.
 
A

Aapa

Mirajmom
Salaam,

Sister Jabba..funny funny...happy 3rd with all my love.

but this time is important for growth. you can have fun times too. as a woman you become very independent..your heart increases for others..you pray others do not have to undergo the death you are undergoing.
and for the sisters..it is time to get very feminine again..and you learn patience...I believe my one is on the way...InshaAllah, Allah give him strength and patience..
 
Daud McGuire

Daud McGuire

Say he is one
ONe big LOL. That is funny




Globalpeace said:
W-Salam,

HM (Right) with an apostraphy = His Masjesty i.e. Allah (SWT)'s Servant

HM (left) without the apostraphy = Elizabeth the Second

Standard English language convention as employed by Birtish Government.

Her Majesty, Elizabeth the Second of United Kingdom, Head of Commonwealth DOES NOT use apostraphy after HM and before the s for her departments.

I am surprised that NO ONE at TTI has caught that and people have even accused me of Shirk!
Click to expand...
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top