Renee
Junior Member
I don't know if anybody can help me out here but I guess I have nothing to loose. You see, there is a great irony to the situation I'm in. It so happened that I used to be quite an islamophobe not long ago, buying into stuff about muslims being terrorists and the veil is oppressive and such. You probably already know what I mean. Earlier this summer I decided to actually pick up translation of the Qur'an I bought 2-3 years ago. Tried to read it then but only got a couple of pages before I tired of it. Well, I gave it another try and this time, although still not entirely easy to read, not as difficult as previous try. After a few pages I noticed that this is not as bad as I thought. On the contrary it was quite beautiful. I have to admit that I still has a lot left as I'm only got to surah 6 but perhaps that is not as bad for someone who used to hate it or what do you think?
The weird thing is, after I started to read it I can't stop thinking of islam. I've also been surfing a lot on islam-sites. I found my way here by watching conversion videos on YouTube DailyMotion. I don't know what to do. One thought that has occured to me is that it is God that is leading me. As I'm from a protestant country, I guess I'm christian but on paper only, never in heart. It has never had any appeal to me. However, I have almost always believed in a higher being although not very well defined. In the 90's I started to drift more to new age but for the last few years I have found that incredibly shallow as well. Now it only makes me think of Dr. Phil, Oprah and such people. Not my cup of tea. Until now, when it seems that islam is my cup of tea however strange it might feels considering my past. At this point in time I do not know if I will convert or not but at least I'm more open towards it now than before. I've seen videos and read instructions about praying and I have to admit I admire those who has managed to memorize the whole Qu'ran. I cannot even memorize the verses in the prayer so I don't have a clue on how to learn that.
I'm middle-aged and naitive swedish and I don't know any muslims IRL. I don't know if I even dare to approach any since I'm also terribly shy. So here I am, hoping I will find my way somehow. Peace.