Salam brothers & sisters,
I have turned to this forum simply because I have absolutely nobody to turn to. My life has become such a mess that I feel trapped and utterly hopeless.
Let me vent -
I am 22, British Pakistani, born and raised in UK. My Parents have provided me with everything I could possibly wish for. Allhumdullilah on paper I have a good life as it would seem from the outside.
I was in medical school abroad. Until I got expelled for poor grades. I cant break this news to my parents tho due to the overwhelming fear of upsetting them. I have been depressed for years prior tho. Although this has never been clinically diagnosed as Asians do not tend to acknowledge this well. But I know truthfully that I am.
I would say I am a good Muslim. I refrain from all major sins. I pray 5 times a day. I have been on Hajj 3 times and Umrah 3 times too. Allhumdullilah!
I feel trapped. I dont know what to do with my life. If I break the news that I have been kicked out I will certainly be disowned. But if I dont, I am stuck away from home just pretending to be a student.
On top of all this, I have no friends. Not one. Reason being is that I feel that I can not open up to Muslim brothers who are up to all the haram in this world - ie drinking, zina etc.
So ultimately I am all alone.
My parents know something is wrong. But I cant bring myself to tell them. They will be so upset and angry with me. Allah may forgive me, but I am certain my parents will not be so forgiving. However, I love them eternally and would never ever wish them any harm.
For the past few years I have also been getting thoughts of suicide. But I know this is haram and a huge sin. But I dont see a solution to my life.
I need some advice please brothers and sisters. I have no-one.
JazakAllah hair.
I have turned to this forum simply because I have absolutely nobody to turn to. My life has become such a mess that I feel trapped and utterly hopeless.
Let me vent -
I am 22, British Pakistani, born and raised in UK. My Parents have provided me with everything I could possibly wish for. Allhumdullilah on paper I have a good life as it would seem from the outside.
I was in medical school abroad. Until I got expelled for poor grades. I cant break this news to my parents tho due to the overwhelming fear of upsetting them. I have been depressed for years prior tho. Although this has never been clinically diagnosed as Asians do not tend to acknowledge this well. But I know truthfully that I am.
I would say I am a good Muslim. I refrain from all major sins. I pray 5 times a day. I have been on Hajj 3 times and Umrah 3 times too. Allhumdullilah!
I feel trapped. I dont know what to do with my life. If I break the news that I have been kicked out I will certainly be disowned. But if I dont, I am stuck away from home just pretending to be a student.
On top of all this, I have no friends. Not one. Reason being is that I feel that I can not open up to Muslim brothers who are up to all the haram in this world - ie drinking, zina etc.
So ultimately I am all alone.
My parents know something is wrong. But I cant bring myself to tell them. They will be so upset and angry with me. Allah may forgive me, but I am certain my parents will not be so forgiving. However, I love them eternally and would never ever wish them any harm.
For the past few years I have also been getting thoughts of suicide. But I know this is haram and a huge sin. But I dont see a solution to my life.
I need some advice please brothers and sisters. I have no-one.
JazakAllah hair.