how u slove your problems?

[saima abdullah]

:salam2:
dear n respected sisters n brother ....
may Allah keep us firm in emaan
everyone of us have problems in life .... but it is observed that some people get best out worse n some get spoiled due to hardships ...so what makes difference.....?
of course there is luck factor but how we handle our problems it play a bigger role in our success... all of us read so much articals on such things however what we do practically stays in our minds..
in this thread we will inshaAllah we will discus our problem solving mathods .. it may help others to grow inshaAllah ,,,,,
first thing from my side
i do duwa ....:tti_sister:
n if there is interpersonal misunderstanding i keep my mouth shut.. until the other party get cool then i talk..
now it your turn

 

[revert2007]

well actually we cant use one particular method for solving every kind of problem.for example if a person is jobless,or unmarried or having financial problem,how do we solve these kind of problems?

the most important thing is as a muslim you should understand why ur having problem.Allah gives problem as a test to u.He gives what u can handle.thats the reason many people have different types of problem.If u can go steady and handle ur problem. the islamic way,InsyaAllah rewards are witing for u.and as muslims we always believe that for every bad thing,there is hidden good reason for it to happen.it is all qada and qadar.
as normal human we only turn to Allah when we have problems(not everyone but mostly).problem is the best way to remind u of Allah.

state ur problems and InsyaAllah we find solutions together.

 

[nita madjid]

Assalamualaikum wr.wb

I couldn't agree more. Problems/trials is Allah way to humble us in front of Him and also purify us.
What I usually do when I have a problem, is wondering how did the Prophet (PBUH) solve or behave toward this problem. Sadly I am not a religious scholar who memorized all of the shaheeh hadith. Most of the time it will take me ages to read and search trough my limited sources of book for any reference from the prophet (Hadith).
I did not refer to Quran, not because I have forget it. Instead because I believe the moral theory is rather obvious, be patient and ask for Allah guidance and protection.
If I couldn't find it my self while the time is pressing I will then turn to Ulama

Hope it helps

 

[saima abdullah]

i think spectrum of the topic is so wast so we can categorize the problem into sub categories,
1. personal problems
2.communication problem (interpersonal relations)
3.problem regarding religion
4.financial problems
5. marital problems

 

[zainab bala]

This is great, believe people will benefit alot on how to deal with certain issues. I am interested on the topic 'marital problem'.

 

[saima abdullah]

hay folks were are merried member .................?????????????

 

[zainab bala]

well...i am married and blessed with 2 beautiful girls alhamdulillah.
for now, i can say prayers and good communication helps alot.

 

[revert2007]

how do u help ur husband when he is in crisis?as a women i just can make dua for him and thats what he asked me to do.but i wanna do more for him.any suggestion?

 

[saima abdullah]

Keep a cool head no matter how hot things get

Keep a cool head no matter how hot things get

Do you find yourself getting all worked up when crisis and pressures fall upon you? Does your heart race and your hands shake as you try to deal with demanding situations? Do you get overwhelmed by emotion? Is it hard to think straight and see your way towards what you have to do? Do you just wish you could keep a cool head when the chips are down?

Getting worked up is normal. And has its uses.

It's reassuring to know that these responses to pressure are completely normal. The human body is a delicately balanced system, evolved over millennia, reacting to whatever is happening in the environment. Its primary goal, as for every living being, is to continue living. So its primary response is what we call the fight/flight response. Everything in you has evolved to get you, personally, out of trouble - fast.

Why fight/flight responses can't always help the situation

That you are here is testimony to the highly successful functioning of this system. But you might not always be thrilled to have your decision making powers taken over by this elemental life preservation system. The conditions of modern life are, for most people, so utterly different from those primeval pressures that this emotional response often turns out to be maladaptive. A contributor rather than a solution to problems.

Why you need to be able to keep a cool head when trouble looms

Every day now, people must face situations where neither running nor fighting are viable or advisable options. The ambulance crew attending a road traffic accident cannot afford to get caught up in the emotional impact of what is happening. The business director cannot run from the boardroom during a company crisis. His fellow directors won't appreciate it if he tries to fight them, either.

Even at the personal level, the ability to stay calm and collected is generally more useful than the power to run or fight. Everybody can get very worked up about family problems, for example, but you really need a cool head to untangle them and find solutions.

 

[saima abdullah]

do have any suggestion for sister revert n zanaib ?

 

[icadams]

The key to successfully resolving marital problems always, and without exception, begins and ends with communication between spouses. And it is a two-way street, men must talk to their wives and vice-versa.

 

[icadams]

:salam2:

yes fight is not the solution of the problems but sometimes you have to show your anger when he/she doesnt take it seriously .

But we must be careful in how we display our anger. Anger needs to be controlled and never hateful when we are dealing with our spouse. And NEVER, EVER violent.
I think that sometimes people let their anger get the best of them and they express their anger in inappropriate ways. When I am angry at my wife, I have found that it is better to tell her that I am angry, then let my actions or emotions hold sway. If I let my anger get out of hand it simply escalates the situation rather than help to solve whatever problem we are facing. Acknowledging that we are angry and talking about it, while hard at first, is easily the best way to deescalate situations.