I Like A Guy At My Masjid..I Can't Get Over It!

[thatonegirl]

Aslamlaikum Brothers and Sisters,

So basically, I'm in love with a guy who doesn't know me?
I know that sounds really weird, but seriously can't stop thinking about this guy. I saw him two years ago, when I was waiting for my friend. I was just standing there, looking around at random things (this was in a little Islamic store inside the masjid) and I started staring at him as he was messing around with his phone. He looked like the quiet down to earth type of guy; not the typical 18-20 year old. Anyways, he looked up (not at me) just enough so I could see his eyes. And I swear I almost died. I couldn't breathe. There was just something about his eyes. Something told me that he was like everything that I have ever wanted and all that other cliche stuff like that. Anyways, that was two years ago. And I still can't stop thinking about him. He doesn't even know I exist, and I still saw him again (at that same masjid) this past summer. I know this going to sound really stupid but it just seems as though every guy (other than him) is so plain and dead. So dull. That's just how he made me feel. And I can not get over it!
How will I ever tell him? I've contemplated so many ways to tell him. And there's even this song I listen to that reminds me of him. It's called Your Song by Ellie Goulding. This is so horrible. I can't get over a stranger (that I still see every summer). I also have confidence problems so that would definitely prevent me from telling him myself. This is soooo weird. :shymuslima1:
I can not stop thinking about him. It's been two years (so far!). What should I do? Any ideas? Please be nice!
Thank you so, so much! <3

 

[Ahsen]

Walekumassam sister,

Attraction is not a choice. Yes,you can defend your heart by guarding it with quran. It avoids such "mishaps". What I mean exactly is that attraction deals with the subconscious of a person. Why is it that many times women like a single man. Because he has the traits of what is considered attractive. That's why women can't help being attracted to this guy. You have to know that it's your subconscious that you are dealing with. If you were a man I could give you sound advice. But you should really know that it's not so "great,spiritual heavenly love" . You are just attracted to him. Inshallah you will get over it. Do you know that there's a whole science to this.

 

[Ron-Kid]

Not a right place to express ur concern. but I wud suggest u to talk about it with ur family.

 

[a_stranger]

Dear sister, I think you are young .....so you fell in this trap .......I am sure that more faith in Allah, more knowledge in Islam, more ebada ( prayers, fasting , Quran ) will make your heart stronger, make Allah the one who created you the first in your heart , love Allah with all your heart , fear Allah , have a great hope in Janna, stop listening to songs ......you will feel much better.

 

[Abd_Al_Hadi]

Selfish little girl. Ellie GOulding is Jewish...on top of the fact that they're killing your innocent Palestinian brothers and sisters, you come here and advertise their music on a Muslim forum. wow

You're actually willing to bring dishonor and humiliation to your family? All because you can control your perverted emotions???!

 

[Islam!!yay]

:salam2:

Brother Abd_Al_Hadi I dont like the way you see Jewish people. Didnt Allah SWT say not all people of the book are the same ??!?! How is she selfish ? And by the way its Israelis killing Palestinians not ALL JEWS. I know a lot Jews who hate Israel , ever heard of Norman finkelstein one of the most outspoken critics of Israel ? I bet you didnt. Brother its very important to open our eyes to everybody. And please stop seeing all Jews as bad people

And why talk to a young girl like that ? perverted ? You have to tone down a bit brother. Talk to her nicely and respectfully and teach her but you dont have to yell at her!

 

[Abd_Al_Hadi]

:salam2:

Brother Abd_Al_Hadi I dont like the way you see Jewish people. Didnt Allah SWT say not all people of the book are the same ??!?! How is she selfish ? And by the way its Israelis killing Palestinians not ALL JEWS. I know a lot Jews who hate Israel , ever heard of Norman finkelstein one of the most outspoken critics of Israel ? I bet you didnt. Brother its very important to open our eyes to everybody. And please stop seeing all Jews as bad people

And why talk to a young girl like that ? perverted ? You have to tone down a bit brother. Talk to her nicely and respectfully and teach her but you dont have to yell at her!

You are right on the being too harsh part, Akhi. Perversion means corruption. Our minds are meant to be pure, that is until Shaytaan diverts us away from how Allah wants us. If this young ukht came asking if her thoughts are wrong, then I will be a sweet to her and guide her. But she has the audacity to come here and ask her to help her gain confidence to talk to a boy. Do you see the difference?

Its like me coming to you and saying, "ya Akhi...I wish to drink alcohol, but I'm too shy to go and purchase it. Give me encouraging words so that I can have overcome my shyness and go buy it."

Wouldn't you find that bizarre and angering?

 

[Abu Talib]

Infatuation just let time pass you'll get over it.

Busy yourself thats it

 

[a_stranger]

Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and be modest. That is purer for them. Lo! Allah is aware of what they do. (30) And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and be modest, and to display of their adornment only that which is apparent, and to draw their veils over their bosoms, and not to reveal their adornment save to their own husbands or fathers or husbands' fathers, or their sons or their husbands' sons, or their brothers or their brothers' sons or sisters' sons, or their women, or their slaves, or male attendants who lack vigour, or children who know naught of women's nakedness. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And turn unto Allah together, O believers, in order that ye may succeed.

Translation of the meanings of Quran Surat alnoor.

 

[a_stranger]

Dear sister

*! “whosoever leaves something for the sake of Allaah then Allaah, the Mighty and Magnificent, will replace it with something better than it.”

Reported by Ahmad [5/363], al-Marwazee in ‘Zawaa`id az-Zuhd’ [no. 412], an-Nasaa`ee in ‘al-Kubraa’ as mentioned in ‘Tuhfah al-Ashraaf’ [11/199] from one of the Companions that the Messenger of Allaah (SAW) said, “indeed you will not leave anything for the sake of Allaah except that Allaah will replace it with something better than it.” The isnaad is saheeh.

 

[a_stranger]

Dear sister one scholar said:

*! “whosoever opposes his base desires, the Shaytaan shall flee in terror from his shade.

Try to lower your gaze for the sake of Allah with sincerity you will feel peace, happiness within yourself.

 

[a_stranger]

Dear young sister read the following please:


Prophet (saw) has narrated in a Hadith Qudsi that Allah (swt) said, “The gaze is a poisonous arrow from among the arrows of Iblis (satan).*! Whoever protected his heart and gaze from this arrow due to My fear, I will grant him the sweetness of Imân that he will perceive in his heart.”

Due to the fact that he sacrificed the sweetness of his sight for Allah’s sake, Allah (swt) will grant him the sweetness of the heart. *!Ibn Qayyim (rah) says that a person gave his basarat [gaze] and obtained basirat [insight].*! Basarat refers to sight.*! By sacrificing his sight, Allah (swt) gave him the reward of the sweetness of Iman in his heart.

 

[alf2]

Why has no one suggested she go with her Mahram male and ask him if he is interested in marriage?

My advice to the girl: If you want to actually see if this guy is interested in marriage, do so. So you can find out if he is even available to you as a spouse. But if he is not, then let him go. It is life, and you this too shall pass.

Whatever you do, do not enter a haraam relationship with him. This is displeasing to Allah swt and "you cant grow the tree of paradise with the seeds of hell" Meaning, just like kafirs "date" with no real intention to marry, Muslims dating will generally lead to the same thing.

 

[alf2]

Selfish little girl. Ellie GOulding is Jewish...on top of the fact that they're killing your innocent Palestinian brothers and sisters, you come here and advertise their music on a Muslim forum. wow

You're actually willing to bring dishonor and humiliation to your family? All because you can control your perverted emotions???!

The only way you think she is Jewish is from her last name. When in fact, I'm pretty sure she is agnostic or atheist.

Jewish last name/jewish heritage ≠ Jewish

This is like saying a guy who's last name is Soneiji is Muslim simply because of his last name. Even though this fictional person could drink, not even own a Qur'an and be a run of the mill Kafir.

 

[Peony Weed]

QUOTE=alf2;573271]Why has no one suggested she go with her Mahram male and ask him if he is interested in marriage?

My advice to the girl: If you want to actually see if this guy is interested in marriage, do so. So you can find out if he is even available to you as a spouse. But if he is not, then let him go. It is life, and you this too shall pass.

Whatever you do, do not enter a haraam relationship with him. This is displeasing to Allah swt and "you cant grow the tree of paradise with the seeds of hell" Meaning, just like kafirs "date" with no real intention to marry, Muslims dating will generally lead to the same thing.[/QUOTE]

:salam2:

From a woman's perspective, I agree with this suggestion, get your mahram to know more of this guy. Allah knows what's best for you...If he's meant for you, then this is prolly one way to approach it. I know, sometimes it's hard to talk to your own family hence you had approach this forum for advise instead of any other teenage advise site.

Though being young and all, I guess you'd be walking on clouds right now. It's normal for such is the temptation for being a teenage girl, actually it's norm at any stage of life. For me, to help forgetting such temptation is to always recite astaghfirullah & remember Allah whenever this thought comes across. Be afraid of Allah because He knows what's playing in your mind and remember of hell if you have fall into such temptation. try first and you'll see.

You could keep yourself busy with study or praying. You're young but always remember that as khalifah in this world our time is too short to fall into such temptation, I'm sure you don't want to leave this world having your last thought about this guy rather than Allah,

If you have Allah in your thoughts and life always, then everything else become irrelevant. Do not approach such love before you had truly love Allah first. Just take the advise from others, (though I agree some words were harsh) don't be bitter and angry...just be humble.

 

[uniqueskates]

Aslamlaikum Brothers and Sisters,

So basically, I'm in love with a guy who doesn't know me?
I How will I ever tell him? I've contemplated so many ways to tell him.This is so horrible. I can't get over a stranger (that I still see every summer). I also have confidence problems so that would definitely prevent me from telling him myself. This is soooo weird. :shymuslima1:
I can not stop thinking about him. It's been two years (so far!). What should I do? Any ideas? Please be nice!

Walaikumassalaam sister..

Pretty common thing to happen to everybody.. Love, Attraction.. Yay!!.. Been there done that.. [Ofcourse, before Islam entered my heart].
Am not against love.. As it's one of the most beautiful feeling a person can have.. [personal opinion.. don rip me apart for it bro's and sisters] But yes, you got to take it up in the "Halal" manner.. If you are so crazy about the guy.. Go ahead, gather some courage, take the leap of confiding in one of ur Mahrams and ask him to go and talk to the guy and get to know whether he is available or not.. U see, unless you find out the truth about the guy, you will be only dreaming and assuming.. And frankly, "There is no point in building castles in air". So take the biiigggggg step..

And, to control yourself and your inundating emotions.. Do pray properly, do dhikr, read Quran everyday, listen to lectures..

And there's even this song I listen to that reminds me of him. It's called Your Song by Ellie Goulding.

Ahh.. I shouldn't be advicing or suggesting you on Music, as even i listen to it now and then.. Was an addict, trying to control lil by lil.. And Alhamdulilah my graph is showing a downfall But do try to control it, as music stirs our emotions..

I know this going to sound really stupid but it just seems as though every guy (other than him) is so plain and dead. So dull.

That's soo mean.. You haven't even met me yet.. LOL..

And Last thing to tell you.. Believe me when i make this statement, cox i have experienced it in my life..
" If Allah(SWT) has written that you both will be together, then no matter who tries to stop, you will be together.. And if HE(SWT) has written you both won't be together, no matter how much you try, weep, struggle, you both will never be together.. "

Have Faith in Allah(SWT) and make dua's to HIM.
Peace

 

[Abd_Al_Hadi]

The only way you think she is Jewish is from her last name. When in fact, I'm pretty sure she is agnostic or atheist.

Jewish last name/jewish heritage ≠ Jewish

This is like saying a guy who's last name is Soneiji is Muslim simply because of his last name. Even though this fictional person could drink, not even own a Qur'an and be a run of the mill Kafir.

You guys don't get the point. I'm trying to scare that little girl so she'll start focusing on her schoolwork and grow up to be a successful pharmacist. I'm using my dad's tactic. It worked fine with me...I think.

 

[Aisya al-Humaira]

You guys don't get the point. I'm trying to scare that little girl so she'll start focusing on her schoolwork and grow up to be a successful pharmacist. I'm using my dad's tactic. It worked fine with me...I think.

Assalamu`laykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh,

I am sorry to disagree with your views and how you take action on delicate matters such as the one posted by the OP. There's a short version of a lecture by Brother Nouman Ali Khan where he tells us the fierce type of father who only teaches his children with too much disciplines WITHOUT showing compassion and love is part of a culture and certainly not something that is prescribed in Our Deen. How was the Messenger sallallaahu a`layhi wassalam treatment to his beloved daughter Fathimah radhiyallahu anha? How was his response to his grandson during his prayer? Is there any resemblance with how our father teaches us to be a person with how The Messenger treated his children and grandsons?

I am nowhere trying to attack your father, akhee. My main point is; You don't have to treat others the exact same way you were treated. Because I'm sure I'm not the only one who aren't comfortable with the way you talk to the young sister and this is not the first time I've read your not-so-nice posts to a sister/brother. If it was your daughter, are you going to say the same thing to her? To get over it and grow up? I doubt that.

Hope you don't see this as an attempt to attack you because wallahi I am not, but I am just very vocal when it comes to how we response to someone else's rough journey. Many times we may not understand what they are going through because we haven't been on the same road with that person. And many times, it is some words of comfort that can bring more guidance and support to 'rise higher' rather than some harsh words of discouragement.

To the OP, I hope you try to forget that guy for the sake of Allaah because appearance can be very deceiving especially because you do not know of his characters and commitment to the deen (other than that you saw him at the masjid). So I advice you to pray sincerely to Allaah, that may He subhanahu wa Ta`ala preserve your heart for the one who is halaal for you when the time has come. Only for Allaah and him. Have faith in Allaah as He has promised in His Verses that a good man is for a good woman. Or the other options that you have like some has stated, is to talk to your parents and see if he's still available. Only after you've made Istikhaarah and that you are perfectly ready to bring up your own family.

Wa`alaykum as-salaam wa rahmatullah.

 

[Hard Rock Moslem]

Infatuation just let time pass you'll get over it.

Busy yourself thats it

Yes, this is what I wanted to say.

Dear sister,

I'm like your big brother, listen to me. You can't handle it alone, if you still can't move your feelings away from him then talk to your parents. Full stop.

 

[um muhammad al-mahdi]

assalamu alaykum

are you sure the girl posting this thread is Muslim?

What all this fitnah for?

naudhubillah