Is being too nice of a person a little too unhealthy

Islam!!yay

Islam!!yay

Junior Member
Is being too nice of a person a little too unhealthy ?

:salam2:

I think that when Im nice i see that people like to take advantage of me and sometimes maybe belittle me even. I just think that being stern and stand your ground is the only way for someone to truly respect you. Being too nice i think is a little unhealthy for someone. what do you think ? Does Islam allow someone to be stern and not listen and not to obey what everyone asks you to do or the islamic character wants to be tooo nice and bare with other people even i they like to abuse and take an advantage of you ? I feel like im being a jerk when stopped being toooo nice to people and I feel guilty for that. So can anyone help me shape a better personality for me please ?

Thank You
 
kashif_nazeer

kashif_nazeer

~~~Alhamdulillah~~~
:wasalam:

Dear brother,I would like to tell you onething,when we say we are muslims we say we are submitting to Allah's will.We are surrendering,our wishes desires and ego and everything to Allah.When you submit yourself to Allah,you can never be hurt.
You know some people can take advantage of your being good but,you are doing it for the sake of Allah and they are doing it for the sake of their desires.So ultimately it's them who are the losers not you.Be nice to people,even if they are harsh to you,read Qur'an 25:63 my favourite verse

"And the servants of The Most Gracious are such that they walk on Earth with humility and when the ignorant address them (with harsh words),they reply unto them with greetings of peace"


I too have experienced what you have,I saw a post in TTI here mashaAllah,it said very nice things and it concluded it was never between you and them anyway,it was between Allah and you and Allah and them.
Our dealings with other and our dealing with them is an indirect form of da'wahWhen we are nice we are always winning even if people think otherwise.When we are true it is us who is wuinning even if they think otherwise.
Help people as far as it is within Islamic boundaries but stand firm when they tell you to go against Islam and say NO to their face because Allah doesn't want it.
So be patient,humble and steadfast and inshaAllah nothing can harm you.

Ibn Taymiyyah said"What can my enemies do to me,my garden is in my heart,imprisonment is my opportunity to worship,exhile is a Hijrah for me and killing is martyrdom for me.

Remember it's between Allah and you and not between them and you.
 
A

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam walaikum,

Now remember this is the old one writing.

I am one of the nicest people in the world I know. I drop everything for everyone. I do it. I could not say no to anyone. My sons even shake their heads at me. Got the point.

Ok..there comes a point in your life. I do not know when. It came to me this Ramadan. A brand new me came to life. Please allow me a moment to explain it to you, InshaAllah, I will be brief.

No more will I tolerate anyone mocking my faith.
No more will I serve anyone but Allah. I got scared this year. I was facing poverty. I almost gave myself a heart attack. I got pretty sick. And then it dawned upon me. He said I need not fear poverty I need to fear Him. I took those words to heart. I am feeling much better.
I will, Insha'Allah, only speak the truth. Now, some say I hurt their feelings. Well, I got news for you. Your feelings will be ok. I am not interested in how you feel. I am worried about our souls.

I owned the words that I am a Believing woman. I am serious. I do not play games.

Given, the above, I will be kind and gentle and patient. But that is only a part of my strenght. I will say no when it pleases me; I belong to Allah and He is the one I serve first and only.

Did that make sense to you?
 
Wannabemuslim

Wannabemuslim

Junior Member
salaam, i always feel i spoil my friends, friends= people i trust, they dont take me seriously though, always wanting me to do tasks because they can trust that i do it for them.

But sometimes they abuse this, and spend little time doing things i want to do and wont comprimise anything if it gets in the way of there enjoyment,
 
um_mustafa

um_mustafa

sister in Islam
kashif_nazeer said:
:wasalam:

Dear brother,I would like to tell you onething,when we say we are muslims we say we are submitting to Allah's will.We are surrendering,our wishes desires and ego and everything to Allah.When you submit yourself to Allah,you can never be hurt.
You know some people can take advantage of your being good but,you are doing it for the sake of Allah and they are doing it for the sake of their desires.So ultimately it's them who are the losers not you.Be nice to people,even if they are harsh to you,read Qur'an 25:63 my favourite verse

"And the servants of The Most Gracious are such that they walk on Earth with humility and when the ignorant address them (with harsh words),they reply unto them with greetings of peace"


I too have experienced what you have,I saw a post in TTI here mashaAllah,it said very nice things and it concluded it was never between you and them anyway,it was between Allah and you and Allah and them.
Our dealings with other and our dealing with them is an indirect form of da'wahWhen we are nice we are always winning even if people think otherwise.When we are true it is us who is wuinning even if they think otherwise.
Help people as far as it is within Islamic boundaries but stand firm when they tell you to go against Islam and say NO to their face because Allah doesn't want it.
So be patient,humble and steadfast and inshaAllah nothing can harm you.

Ibn Taymiyyah said"What can my enemies do to me,my garden is in my heart,imprisonment is my opportunity to worship,exhile is a Hijrah for me and killing is martyrdom for me.

Remember it's between Allah and you and not between them and you.
Click to expand...


Salams,
brother you have put into words excatly what I wanted to say, mashallah, barakallahufik
 
Islam!!yay

Islam!!yay

Junior Member
:salam2:

Thank You for your kind words. I see a new perspective now. I hope one day Insha Allah to be as good of a person as all of you.
 
faaraa

faaraa

Nothing but Muslimah
:wasalam:

A sweet thread with nice opinions... Masha Allah

Just let me share what I feel Insha Allah... :)

You see being nice always makes you feel good and takes you so closer to Allah Azzawajal...

Read the stories of the prophets (Peace be upon them all) ....
You will Insha Allah eventually realize, they had nice characters BUT WITH PROMINENT LOGICAL Guidelines......

Islam teaches you to be the nice person of this world...... Yes as Brother kashif_nazeer said, be good as much as you can, as it is some thing between you and your creator..... :)

But being soo nice with people may give you hurts alot in life some times... but Akhi, if you can bare the hurts forthe sake of Allah Azzawajal, you will feel a deep satisfaction and happiness forever Subhanallah..

Have a nice time with strong Iman and good health !!
 
a_stranger

a_stranger

Junior Member
:salam2:

i think that when we are sincere to Allah sobhanahu wa taala when doing good we will be happy whatever the feedback we get from others , puirty of intention is a true joy to hearts when we do anything. The problem with us we (humans) that our intentions never retain their impurity that is why feel unsatisfied
 
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