Love.

Salam2You

Lil' Muslimah
Salaam Alaikum

I've been wondering for a long time now, how do you know you're truly in love when you only have a short matter of time to discuss as a mahram witnesses all the conversations you have before marriage?

I don't disagree with the idea, it's just... I really despise my culture and I know for a fact I'd be restricted to marrying someone I love; rather it has to be someone my parents love.

I really fear that one day I'll be in the position of forced marriage who can't even discuss my favourite colour to a strict old man who doesn't reciprocate my love. I am only 15 but I have a right to think about this kind of thing, lest I have no idea of a back-up plan in the presence of my future.

I have two older loving brothers who, if I did ask one to witness as a mahram (at a right age, lol) they'd accept it with pleasure.

I'm scared of having to marry someone I don't love. Why does it feel that out of all the Muslims in the world, I can't see myself being in love?

Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) was, of course, in love... He has inspired me into wanting to become an independent woman who cares deeply for my husband.

I am not currently in love but I want to be sooner or later!

Anyway, point is,
are there any duas for a successful and loving marriage for the future?
Also, any tips I could hold onto before I'm ready for marriage?

JazakAllah khairan to all. :)
 

lostlilly07

striving 4 Firadous
wa alaikum salaam

You mention something about culture in your post and I hate to sterotype or anything but I do know unfortunately in some cultures women are limited to who they can marry and are sometimes pressure by parents to accept a person.

But I can say in my situation, I met my husband three times before I knew that he was the one, Its really diffcult to explain but I notice that he was just as nervous as me and that he was extremely patient. My father had heard good things about him and lastly I was really attracted to him unlike previous sit-downs I had, I was not always attracted to the brother but a few times out of desperation I thought oh well "looks are not that important". They are...to some degree. Alhamduillah Allaah saved me from those bad relationships.
 

Tomtom

Banned
As'alaamu Alaikkum lil sis

You said : I am not currently in love but I want to be sooner or later!

Falling in love is haram in Islam, in fact one should nor even be talking to the opposite sex unless in certain circumstances. I bet you live in the West?
 

Salam2You

Lil' Muslimah
As'alaamu Alaikkum lil sis

You said : I am not currently in love but I want to be sooner or later!

Falling in love is haram in Islam, in fact one should nor even be talking to the opposite sex unless in certain circumstances. I bet you live in the West?

Yes, I do live in the west.

So, no love allowed in Islam when married is what you're trying to say?
 

Salam2You

Lil' Muslimah
wa alaikum salaam

You mention something about culture in your post and I hate to sterotype or anything but I do know unfortunately in some cultures women are limited to who they can marry and are sometimes pressure by parents to accept a person.

But I can say in my situation, I met my husband three times before I knew that he was the one, Its really diffcult to explain but I notice that he was just as nervous as me and that he was extremely patient. My father had heard good things about him and lastly I was really attracted to him unlike previous sit-downs I had, I was not always attracted to the brother but a few times out of desperation I thought oh well "looks are not that important". They are...to some degree. Alhamduillah Allaah saved me from those bad relationships.

JazakAllah khairan for telling your story. I hoped I could get a sort of feedback like this to understand people's point of views sis,
 

Salam2You

Lil' Muslimah
@Tomtom,

If you're trying to say love in marriage is a western ideology, then how can you explain the love between you and your mother,for example? Love is an occurrence in life, you can't stop it. Love before marriage is a totally different discussion - I want to focus on actual love in a halaal relationship.
 

Tomtom

Banned
@Tomtom,

If you're trying to say love in marriage is a western ideology, then how can you explain the love between you and your mother,for example? Love is an occurrence in life, you can't stop it. Love before marriage is a totally different discussion - I want to focus on actual love in a halaal relationship.

Dearest sis

I think you misunderstood. You said you wanted to fall in love. Falling in love is haram in Islam as a young man and a woman are not supposed to meet without somebody else present. Actually marriage is decided between the parents of the individuals, for example his parents will come to see your parents to ask for you hand in marriage. It is decided between them but of course you have a choice. It is not an arranged marriage where you have no choice in the matter.

The love you are talking about is totally different to the love between a mother and her children.

Btw the reason I asked you if you lived in the West is that many, if not all of the young people are influenced by their non-muslim peers. I don't care what anybody says, when you're non muslim friends go and party, you want to do the same thing. There may be one or two exceptions to this, I can accept that there may be one or two pious young man or woman. At the age, satan plays a major part in your life, he wants you to commit all kinds of sin and lead you away from the straight path.

Where you live and where you were brought up matters a great deal because there is a great deal of difference between growing up in the West and the East. I'm not saying that the kids growing up in the East are perfect or they don't sin but it's the mentality. Like said above, you peers influence your life a great deal.
 

Salam2You

Lil' Muslimah
Oh,

JazakAllah khairan for clarifying, I understand your point.
It's true what you say, and may Allah forgive me for my vulnerability towards shaytan. I acknowledge the fact that at my age it's pretty much fitna 24-7, lol, and I'm glad you understand that.

Love between a husband and wife is very joyous. For example, it's not only movies which persuade me into believing love is a great thing, I also see it between my parents :)
 

Noor El-Huda

Junior Member
Salaam Alaikum


Anyway, point is,
are there any duas for a successful and loving marriage for the future?


JazakAllah khairan to all. :)



salam alaykum little sister,

They pray, "Lord, let our spouses and children be the delight of our eyes and ourselves examples for the pious ones."
Chapter (25) sūrat l-fur'qān (The Criterion)
 

Idris16

Junior Member
The Prophet :)saw:) said:​

We do not think that there is anything better for those who love one another than marriage.”​

(Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 1847; classed as saheeh by al-Busayri and by Shaykh al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 624)​
 
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