Assalam Alaykum Dear brother in islam.
i have come across a problem which i cant sort out. my ant wants my younger sister to be married with her son but the problem is that when my sister was infant and my mother was very ill, my ant ( my mothers real sister) breastfeed-ed my sister for like 3 or 4 times . i want to know whether i can marry my sister with her sons as i think now she is their sister also as their mother breastfeed-ed my sister. i need some advice
It is permissible for your sister to marry son of your aunt in this situation, because breastfeeding (radaa’ah) only makes the woman (and her daughters) the mahrams of the child who nursed if it takes place five times. [A mahram is a relative whom one is forbidden to marry and with whom the rulings of hijab or covering do not apply - Translator]. The evidence for that is the hadeeth narrated by Muslim (1452) from ‘Aa’ishah who said: “One of the (rulings) that was revealed in the Qur’aan was that ten known breastfeedings make the child a mahram, then that was abrogated and replaced with five.”
Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
The scholars differed concerning the number of breastfeedings for which the ruling on breastfeeding (radaa’ah) applies. ‘Aa’ishah and al-Shaafa’i and his companions said that there is no proof for any number less than five. The majority of scholars said that the ruling applies if breastfeeding occurs once. This was narrated by Ibn al-Mundhir from ‘Ali, Ibn Mas’ood, Ibn ‘Umar, Ibn ‘Abbaas, ‘Ata’, Tawoos, Ibn al-Musayyib, al-Hasan, Makhool, al-Zuhri, Qataadah, Hammaad, Maalik, al-Awzaa’i, al-Thawri and Abu Haneefah – may Allaah be pleased with them. Abu Thawr, Abu ‘Ubayd, Ibn al-Mundhir and Dawood said: The ruling applies in the case of three breastfeedings, not less than that. Al-Shaafa’i and those who agreed with him followed the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah which mentioned five known breastfeedings.
Shaykh Ibn Baaz was asked whether breastfeeding from a woman three times makes her a mahram.
He replied: this breastfeeding three times does not make her a mahram through breastfeeding. The ruling on becoming a mahram through breastfeeding only applies if breastfeeding occurs five times or more. Then he quoted the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah as evidence.
Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/326.
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen said:
One breastfeeding does not have any effect, rather it must be five breastfeedings that occur before the child is weaned and before he reaches the age of two. A person does not become the woman’s (foster) child if he breastfeeds once or twice or three or four times. It must also be five known breastfeedings; if there is some uncertainty as to whether he breastfed four or five times, the principle is that it was four, because every time we are uncertain about numbers, we take the lower number. Based on this, if a woman says, I breastfed this child but I do not know if it was once or twice, or three or four or five times, we say that this child is not her (foster) child, because it has to be five known breastfeedings without a doubt.
Al-Fataawa al-Jaami’ah li’l-Mar’ah al-Muslimah, 2/768.
For Uncertain of the number of breast-feedings
For breast-feeding to have the effect of making a child a relative (mahram), two conditions must be met:
(1) The number of breast-feedings should be five or more, because of the hadith of ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her), who said: "When the Qur’an was first revealed, the number of breast-feedings that would make a child a relative (mahram) was ten, then this was abrogated and replaced with the number of five which is well-known." (Reported by Muslim, no. 1452).
(2) This should happen within the first two years of the child’s life, because of the hadith: "Harmalah ibn Yahya told us that ‘Abdullah ibn Wahb told us that Ibn Lahimah informed us from Abu al-Aswad from ‘Urwah from ‘Abdullah ibn al-Zubayr that the Messenger of Allah (Peace & Blessings of Allah be Upon Him) said: "There is no breast-feeding except what fills the stomach to bursting point." (Reported by Ibn Maajah, no. 1946; see also Saheeh al-Jaami‘, no. 7495).
Al-Bukhaari, may Allah have mercy on him, included a chapter in his Saheeh entitled: "The chapter of the one who says there is no breast-feeding after two years because of the words of Allah ‘. . . two whole years, (that is) for those (parents) who desire to complete the term of suckling . . .’ [al-Baqarah 2:233]."
The definition of rad‘ah (one breast-feed) is that the child should take the breast and drink milk from it, then leave it of his own accord in order to breathe or to change position, and so on.
If this is the case, then the rulings concerning breast-feeding will apply, i.e. the child will be considered a relative and marriage will be forbidden, etc.
In the case of doubt concerning the number of breast-feedings, Ibn Qudaamah, may Allah have mercy on him, said: "If there is some doubt concerning whether breast-feeding took place, or concerning the number of feeds and whether it was enough to make the child a relative (mahram) or not, then there is no proof that the child must be considered a relative, because the general rule of life is that a child does not breast-feed from anyone except his own mother, and one cannot dismiss certainty in favour of doubt. (al-Mughni 11/312).
Therefore it is permissible to marry if there is no proof of breast-feeding that would make the individual concerned a relative.
I do not want to omit reminding the one who asked this question that we are obliged to adhere to the Sharee‘ah no matter where it leads us, and our desires and emotions should not prevent us from following the truth. The Muslim must remain chaste and avoid all kinds of "love relationships." He must strive to protect himself by marrying in a proper fashion according to Islamic sharee‘ah.
: conclusion:
If a woman breastfeeds a child, then this child becomes her child through radaa’ah (breastfeeding), and a brother through breastfeeding of all her children, whether those children were there before him or came later.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “What becomes mahram (forbidden for marriage) through breastfeeding is that which become mahram through blood ties.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2645; Muslim, 1447.
But it should be noted that becoming a mahram through breastfeeding can only be established through five well-known breastfeedings, because of the report narrated by Muslim (1452) from ‘Aa’ishah who said: ““When the Qur’aan was first revealed, the number of breast-feedings that would make a child a relative (mahram) was ten, then this was abrogated and replaced with the number of five which is well-known.”
Ibn al-Qayyim said in Zaad al-Ma’aad, 5/575:
One breastfeeding (rad’ah) means when the child takes the beast and starts suckling, and then lets it go without being made to do so. That is one breastfeeding, because the Lawgiver referred to one breastfeeding in general terms, so it is to be interpreted according to custom, and this is the custom. If the child stops briefly in order to breathe or to rest or because of some distraction, then quickly goes back to the breast, this is regarded as one breastfeeding, just as when a person who is eating pauses briefly then quickly goes back to eating, this is not regarded as two meals, rather it is one. This is the view of al-Shaafa’i. And if the infant moves from one breast to the other, this is one breastfeeding.
Thus it becomes clear that
the five breastfeedings could all take place in
one sitting.
If this woman was breastfed by your mother five times in this sense, then it is not permissible for you to marry her daughter, because you are her paternal uncle through breastfeeding. If she was breastfed less than five times, that does not mean that she is a mahram, so it is permissible for you to marry her daughter.
If there is any doubt concerning the number of breastfeedings, whether it was five or not, there is no proof of the child being a mahram in the case of doubt.
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
If there is any doubt as to whether breastfeeding took place or not, or with regard to the number of breastfeedings, whether the number that makes the child a mahram was completed or not, this does not make the child a mahram, because the basic assumption is that he is not a mahram, and what is certain cannot be dispelled by what is uncertain.
