Assalamu alaykum
If I told you the things I went through with my father you would love yours. But of course I shan't reveal about my father.
Sister, Allaah says in the Qur'an:
And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. 17/23
Subhan Allaah how important the status of parents are in our lives. The mercy of parents is the mercy of Allaah.
Sister, it is a common misconception that just because 'outside people' are not allowed to hurt us (will we not repel or argue back!), then the same goes for our parents - that they have no right to hurt us.
How wrong we are sister. You see, parents are humans. Becoming parents, they may not be very good parents or in fact lousy. But they are humans and they do the best they can for us. Sister we are enjoined to obey our parents as long as they do not call us to SHIRK or DISOBEDIENCE to Allaah. Our eman is with Allaah.
But parents have every single right to hurt us.
I don't think you see their importance because you are so filled with anger and hate. Perhaps I can quote something else which Allaah has said:
And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him, and in years twain was his weaning: (hear the command), "Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents: to Me is (thy final) Goal. 31/14
Wallaah sister, even if our parents were kaffir we are told to respect them!
We are here in this world thank you to our parents. The one who is thankful to the creation, is thankful to the Creator. Do you not believe this then sister? The fact that you are here online on the forum of TTI, spouting anger towards your father, lol sis you are here because of him! So what are you doing sis! I hope you do not refute for the Qur'an..
... is the Book; in it is guidance sure, without doubt, to those who fear God. 2/2
Do you not want to be guided sister? Listen to them. They may not know the best way to handle matters, but it is the best way for you for Allaah has ordained so. Have sincerity, tawakkul and redha towards what Allaah has given you.
Do you speak nicely to a random stranger, better than your own parents?
Serve God, and join not any partners with Him; and do good- to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, those in need, neighbours who are near, neighbours who are strangers, the companion by your side, the wayfarer (ye meet), and what your right hands possess: For God loveth not the arrogant, the vainglorious... 4/36
A total Stranger!?
Subhan Allaah
I do not even have to go on quoting hadeeth on respecting parents. There are too many. Sister, this is what the life of this world is about. We will be tested with some poverty, some hunger, tested with our family members who will hurt us.. This is what this life is. Khaleed ibn Waleed (ra) once said that "There is rest only in the Aakhira. Man will rest in the Aakhira according to how hard he strives in dunya".
Do you not want to reap benefits of your patience towards your parents then sister? Be patient sister, it may take months or years for you to first, try very hard to speak very nicely to them, secondly, raise up another level to speak nicely about the issues your family is facing. Constantly make du'a.
Sis, personally another way to love them more is to make du'a for them everyday, all the time. Make du'a and more du'a for your parents. Because the moment you think some very not nice things of them, or get angry at them, won't it be that you will feel hypocritical for one moment you made nice du'a but the next you feel this way?
Sorry if I have hurt you sister. I feel very closely connected with this that you have brought up as I have had a similar experience. Trust in Allaah sister, strive to be a good muslimah. May you not announce your hatred towards your father anymore.. astaghfirullaah. Love them sister, for if they are not around anymore you would be wishing that they were there to insult you some more.
Please forgive me if I said anything wrong in sha Allaah
“ The strong is not the one who over comes the people by his strength but the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger."
