Online marriage/Online chat

Not open for further replies.

Umm Aysha

*Strive for Jannah*

lol....:bananabb2in: :bananabb2in: :bananabb2in:

dont worry INSHA-ALLAH well all get good partners...insha-allah..



Junior Member
online marriage sites

I feel like I am one of the oldest member on this site:biggrin:
Reading the different postings, it seems that way. Ok back to the topic.....

I was married to someone my family knows very well, in fact he was a distant cousin who lived about 20 minutes away from us. His mother and my mother were the closest of friends and so were our fathers. We ultimately became very close and decided to get married. He was starting a new business, practised Islam in a manner that was more than the average man that I have seen (including my own father!!:) ) and even volunteered at the local muslims converts association; teaching reverts every weekend. He attended regular relgious classes to expand his knowledge. During family functions he would usually be the one to make dua as he has memorised many beneficial dua.

Why did I divorce him? Since you don't know me hence you will not know who he is, it will not amount to "gossip" which is despised by Islam.

I was not given "nafkah" or money to maintain the normal standard of living of food, housing, clothing during the entire time we were married and very minimally to the children. He did not teach his own children the quran, prayers etc.
As time went by, he gradually started missing his subh(dawn prayers). When I asked him about this, he says "it is Allah's mercy to allow him to continue to sleep!!"
I then tried to follow the example of Khadijah and started a new business and asked him to assist but he was too lazy.
It was ironic that his Islamic way of life was only on the surface, only for public consumption, so to speak. In private, he was a different man.
There were other reasons too but not important enough to mention.

Now I am a single mother of 4 children whom I have to look after almost entirely by myself physically, spiritually and financially, it is indeed a challenge. Because living in a big city, and with no option of moving to the country or living in a less expensive location...stretches my iman sometimes.
Some have said I am better off staying with my ex husband, at least I have someone with me. I tried for many years until it came to a point where I could not conduct myself in a manner prescibed by Islam as his wife. That meant accumulating sins unto myself; hence my decision for the divorce. Islam's emphasis towards obeying and attending to your husband should never be trivialised.

I share this experience with my fellow brothers and sisters because it is important to note that although we might follow the recommendations set forth in Islam, there could still be problems. Why? Only Allah SWT knows. My conviction towards Islam tells me that all that I have had to go through is Allah SWT's mercy towards me. A humbling experience that only reminds me of the greatness and supremacy of Allah swt and that I have no one else to turn to but HIM. Without this experience I might have been lax in my practise, forgetful, proud even.

I am all for the institution of marriage and would encourage my brothers and sisters to look forward to it with zealous. Don't let what you have heard, read and seen discourage you. Marriage is a wonderful institution......I would go right back in, the moment opportunity presents itself.
Why? Because it would please my Creator.
Only Allah SWT knows and may HE forgive me if I have erred.

3assal said:

My father always used to say, that if I were to marry let him be someone who the whole family knows. This way my family will know if they come from a good or bad family, and if the man had a good character, deen and what his intentions are. I think this is the best way to find marriage.

I know of two brothers who married women they met online. As to where they met I am not sure, but they came to an agreement and got married. One of the brothers had 4 children. He gave his wife everything, yet she was not pleased, and they ended up in a divorce. Well, she threw him out of the house :astag:. The other brother, married in 2004. He is very happy with his wife. They have a beautiful baby girl.

Its pure luck that you would find someone good/bad. You never know what you will get. A person may seem nice and handsome/pretty, but you dont know any personal information about them and what their true intentions are.

This is my humble opinion, I am not trying to make anyone agree with me. I'm just expressing my point of view in the subject. Astagfurallah if I am wrong for thinking this way.

with that clear,


assalam good Brs and Srs.
what deeply concerns me are the links to the 'Marriage/DATING(!!?)' sites and forums.
neither should we engage this nor facilitate it. i don't want to offend, BUT lets encourage our Brs and Srs and the younger-ones to MARRY ONLY...insha' Allah Ta'ala, Amin!
wassalam, shahid abd'ul-matin, your Brother from another mother :)
zarah and online marriage

zarah said:

I was just a bit curious,about online marriage and online chatting.

-Is it haram or halal to go on websites...

-Is online chatting halal/haram to guy/girl?

Assaalmu Alaikum, wr, wb good Sister:

Alhamdulillah, i have found a 'thread' in regards to this issue.
something that deeply concerns me is in fact that some of links (Islamic and often un-Islamic) that can be found attached to our (Muslim's) forums, blogs and at times even web-pages.
the MAIN things that concern me are the so-called 'marrriage sites' that contain un-veiled women, even very young girls, with a fair few ACTUALLY HAVING 'DATING' (!!) written up (therefore facilitating this service) on their link's invitation.
i don't need to get into the Verses and Ahadeeth regarding "..lowering the gaze..", "..drawing your veil.." and the preservation of chastity of our dear Muslim Sisters AND Brothers (let's not forget). truly, the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w) stated that we must "..guard that which is between the jaws and the legs.." [Bukhari and Muslim] and there are countless Ahadeeth in regards to the intermingling (excessive) of those unmarried, something which (quite obviously) is exactly what dating is.
My concern in fact is in the facilitators of this, and those who are not too cautious in allowing the links to such invitations to disobedience. and though i should be, i am not offended, i merely remind all that the Prophet of Allah (s.a.w) said "Indeed, we are all guardians over our flocks (Ie. those of whom we have been charged with responsibility over).." [Bukhari].
may Allah Protect and Guide us all to always speak a truthful word and assist us in establishing the Deen in its entirity, Amin! i pray i do not offend and i sincerely fear for the youngsters from amongst us who may become weakened by this Fitnah. marriage (not dating) little Bro and Sis is such a joyful and wonderful experience if you approach it with tawakal and ikhlas and a such a fresh experience if it is ALL new and mysterious. Surely, the Messenger of Allah stated that "Nikkah (to wed) is the perfection of 1/2 your Deen.." and that "..he who does not marry is not from amonst us.." [Bukhari and Muslim]. those who supply its feeding of clients must be cautious too, for we know that he who facilitates a good or bad deed shares in its worth...
pls forgive me if any one is offended, i TRULY do not want this but sincerely pray and then ask you that you to can point me out an advice or two, for surely i am in need..
wassalam, wr, wb: your Brother from another mother, shahid abd'ul-matin


Staff member
Assalamu Alaikum


:salam2: brother Shahid,

Jazzak-Allah khair:biggrin:

I understand what you trying to say brother butyour opinion on onlline chatting with girls/boys! :confused:

zarah said:

:salam2: brother Shahid,
understand what you trying to say... opinion on onlline chatting with girls/boys[?]

wa alaikum salaam, good Sr Zarah.
in all honesty I reeeeaaaally don't know... i would only be able to offer a personal opinion on this and I am certainly NOT qualified to do so.
However, that said, i must definately agree with our Brother, that the Hukum pertaining to 'the real world' also MUST apply to so-called 'Cyber-space', which is obviously a part of what we call 'reality' that Allah has Created for us all, Alhamdulillah!
i would imagine that if this service was used only to help increase us in knowledge ('Relious' and otherwise [for indeed this Deen encompasses ALL things]) and to further connect Muslims together, it may not be harmful. I say 'may not', for indeed only Allah and then His Messenger Know Best (these were the ever oft-repeated words of our most knowledgable; the companions [r.a] of our beloved Abu Qassim [s.a.w]).
My only suggestion would be to refer back to Allah and His Messenger (s.a.w) for determination; ANYTHING else would be pure speculation.
if i needed an answer to this i would seek assistance via al-Qur'aan and Sunnah or a scholar able to give 'religious' verdict (fatawa).
Dear Sr in al-Islam, pls forgive me that i can not speak beyond this... sincere best wishes to all Muslim and Muslimah. Jazak' Allahu khairan wa-salamu alaikum, wr, wb.
shahid abdul-matin; your Brother from another mother


Staff member
assalamu alaykum, This topic has been adequately answered alhamdulilah, so will now be closed.

Not open for further replies.