v important quiery

[iloveislam78]

:shymuslima1:i have a little quiery which i hope my brothers and sisters in islam can settle inshallah,
my quiery is that a sister marries a brother yet the brother still lives at home with his family and hasnt a place of his own yet,, but wants his wife to live with him at his family home.

yet the sister isnt comfortable with this as, her husbands brothers also live at her husbands family home thus she must wear the complete muslimah dress at all times, and must constantly sit move talk etc modestly, futhermore she feels that she hasnt her own privacy when spending time with her husband and is unable to ever be at her ease,is this not completly unfair of her husband to expect????

what should this muslimah do,,,

if she obviously feels overburdened by this???

 

[ahmed_indian]

:salam2:

a woman have full right to have her own room (at least) where she can maintain her privacy. where she can share her day with her husband freely and keep her belongings.

regarding living separatly...its a very touchy topic. there are so many matters to take into consideration. eg. parents' financial/emotional needs, new couples maturity/money, etc.

 

[rightpath_357]

Yeah- she should have her own room I guess. But doesn't it say somewhere that you don't have to cover yourself completley infront of family?

 

[iloveislam78]

salam

a muslim women would have to cover herslef completly in front of her husbands brother as hes not her mehram,,

futhermore theirs modesty for both men and women in islam, one cannot be expected to become somewhat robotic and never live at ease,

 

[arzafar]

a muslim wife the right to a separate home fr herself and her children.
home means a minimum of 1 bedroom + 1 bathroom + 1 kitchen. A husband HAS to provide all her provisions.

 

[iloveislam78]

jazak allah brother i did my research and i discovered the same, hamdulliah !!!

 

[iloveislam78]

brother ahmed i would ask u to think considerately about what one would be asking a women to do if she did live with in laws,

logically this is almost impossible,higly unfair, the husbands role is to provide, so he must do so......

its a touchy subject perhaps because it is a cultural tradtion rather then an islamic one, and in islam there is no place for culture.

a women having just one room is not giving a women privacy ............as disscussions, arguments, time spent between husband and wife are overheard by the rest of the family.

if you think in detail about this subject perhaps u shall understand better how in terms of modesty a women needs separate living quarters which means bedroom, kitchen, bathroom, and living space i did some research and asked two scholars both of which gave me the same answer, one also said that these living quarters ( separate)could be an addition to the husbands family home ie an extension of some sort etc. The scholar went on to say that this is not a luxary but a requirement upon the husband to provide. ( not my words brother).
futhermore i discovered it is the womens right to not live with her in laws in she doesnt wish to do so.

just to let all know alhamdulliah,,,

salam

 

[almanar]

assalamualaikum

the husband has to work harder for his family

and the wife has to be patient and understand the condition of her husband and be grateful.

thats all i can say.

assalamualaikum

 

[almanar]

assalamualaikum

the husband has to work harder for his family

and the wife has to be patient and understand the condition of her husband and be grateful.

thats all i can say.

assalamualaikum

'family' = his new family

 

[Latifabonu]

i agree with almanar

 

[shichemlydia]

salam alikoum
i am a brother and i can tell you how do we feel about this. one thing this sister should first understand is that her husband also wants to live in his own house. but the financial situation sometimes does not offer him this possibility.
my personal view of this marriage is exactelly like hers. i want to live with my wife in our proper house.
in my country, i can tell you that more than 60% of the people are living with their families, owning a house is like a dream. and simply if you want to build your house you will get married at 50 years. but if the man is able to offer he a house so, she is right and he has to make her happy...
wa salam alikoum

 

[iloveislam78]

salam again brothers and sisters

salam walakum brothers and sisters in islam

i understand in some situations thier are times where owning ur own home is somewhat difficult, however a husbands role is the provider and he must abide by this role to the BEST of his ability, if the husband hasnt the means to get married ( be a provider and i do not be here that sisters have a right to overburdern thier husbands) then he must remain patient until allah swt provides him with the means and all praises and thanks be to allah who provides for all his creation!!!
, i have also read that if a person desires to marry in order to protect themselves from haram then allah will take it upon himself to help, so their is no promblem here except the problems us slaves create for oursleves!!

my issue is with those lazy and inconsiderate of people..............................

 

[vanfaiq]

salam
to my sister here i just want you to realiase that everything that happen either it good(we like) or bad(we dont like) were all are tests from Allah to see how grateful we are(our iman)...i dont blame u to express your feeeling of sadness toward this problems but just to remind u that be grateful n keep praying to Allah bcoz Allah is the one that decided everything(qada' n qadar') in this universe n at the same time we must also take action to improve our quality of life...i do also pray that one day you will moving into your new house n have ahappy family hereafter..INSYALLAH

 

[abu'muhammad]

:salam2:

Husband –wife both have their own rights,just if they don’t know they need to ask/know themselves. A family can have their own home or as well as live together with the family.

If they separate that do not make a sense that they are not caring the parents etc,some people understand that way,especially in the eastern countries. Like That the son has moved away,instead he should be caring, taking attention of the joint family.Well that is obviously virtuous but not abiding.This is one of the reason sons think they should live in joint family and there is no other alternative. This makes the things quite rigid to adamancy or a custom in long time, in some cases.

Although The situations differ from person to person. Like some think living in joint family others might think or may not.

there is nothing forcing. Unfortunately, the people lack some knowledge and the exact way or sometimes the people do far themselves from the ulemas, who can show them the right and reasonable conduct.Eventually, driving own wagons… and sometimes with excess dominancy..

Both husband-wife can teach each other the deen in this or any other case, the right way,clarify the things, make solution, etc if they know of that. Teaching other do not little the other one, but needed as well as obligatory .sometimes. this is true caring, showing them the right way livng without resentments, giving the rights to others of what they have.The religion of islam insist justice, moderation, balance…alhamdulillah every time.

Further a link to the subject
http://www.islamqa.com/en/ref/94965/can husband wife live alone

 

[ahmed_indian]

brother ahmed i would ask u to think considerately about what one would be asking a women to do if she did live with in laws,

logically this is almost impossible,higly unfair, the husbands role is to provide, so he must do so......

its a touchy subject perhaps because it is a cultural tradtion rather then an islamic one, and in islam there is no place for culture.

a women having just one room is not giving a women privacy ............as disscussions, arguments, time spent between husband and wife are overheard by the rest of the family.

if you think in detail about this subject perhaps u shall understand better how in terms of modesty a women needs separate living quarters which means bedroom, kitchen, bathroom, and living space i did some research and asked two scholars both of which gave me the same answer, one also said that these living quarters ( separate)could be an addition to the husbands family home ie an extension of some sort etc. The scholar went on to say that this is not a luxary but a requirement upon the husband to provide. ( not my words brother).
futhermore i discovered it is the womens right to not live with her in laws in she doesnt wish to do so.

just to let all know alhamdulliah,,,

salam

:salam2: sister,

1. of course, after marriage, we are allowed to live away with our families. but do you mean that each and every son after marrriage should leave his parents' home no matter how much they need him?

2. and also does that mean that if i cant buy a home (which is becoming so difficult in india if you dont want to pay interest), i should remain single for life?

maybe, in ur place, you haven't come across families where person lives with his parents and wife but they dont argue with each other because his mother and his wife- each know their limits of Islam.

 

[iloveislam78]

salam

dear brother in islam

i asked scholar, who issued a fatwa upon it what i shared with everyone was what scholar said not me. allah knows best perhaps in certain situations but i guess individual situations would have to be reffered to those with knowledge.

i dont think anyone has the right to make up the rules as they go along to please themseleves, especially after fatwas have been issued.

may allah bless you with his rizq so you never find yourself in this situation amen.

 

[arzafar]

:salam2: sister,

1. of course, after marriage, we are allowed to live away with our families. but do you mean that each and every son after marrriage should leave his parents' home no matter how much they need him?

2. and also does that mean that if i cant buy a home (which is becoming so difficult in india if you dont want to pay interest), i should remain single for life?

maybe, in ur place, you haven't come across families where person lives with his parents and wife but they dont argue with each other because his mother and his wife- each know their limits of Islam.

yes it is not necessary but the husband should get the wife's permission and consent! Additionally, the wife bears no responsibility of taking care of the husband's parents. If she does it , she does it as a favor. She should not be forced to do that. in fact i dunno why a son would tell his wife to do that. it's a great opportunity for a son to get a ticket to jannah by taking care of his old parents. id rather avail that opportunity myself.

 

[iloveislam78]

salam

yes it isnt nessary to live apart from your in laws yet it is nessary to gain permission from the wife if you want to do so, if the wife wants to have her own home or separate living quarters (kitchen bathroom bedroom living space )then it is the husbands duty to provide this,if she willingly gives up her right then they is no sin on either of them, unless there are non mehram men living at the home and living with them becomes impossible to maintain modesty etc then obviously this becomes haram.

my point is that certain brothers shouldn't expect patience from there wifes where they are taking the right that allah swt has given them away, rather it is them that should practice patience, before marrying when they cannot provide adequately.

culture has no place in religion, and to be honest i have no interest in it.

salam

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

It is impossible to give a correct answer. There are no details as to why the family must live together. We cannot judge without knowing the circumstances. We are ignorant of the facts.

 

[iloveislam78]

salam again brothers and sisters

Assalaam walaikum,

It is impossible to give a correct answer. There are no details as to why the family must live together. We cannot judge without knowing the circumstances. We are ignorant of the facts.




I believe opinions are dangerous, dangerous to give, i was meerly reiterating the facts sheik provided in a fatwa given,

bro/sis there are facts and answers but we must search for them, individual circumstances must be reffered to those with knowledge, and allah knows best.

Its a fact that when islam becomes second to culture or desires are followed instead of islamic practices problems ARE created.

I was the one who first started this thread, i wasnt satified with the responses so i did my own research and alhamdulliah i found my answers.