Am i the only one who feels this way?

[Jennie]

salam

I just saw 'Not without My Daughter" for the first time. I had heard it was a good movie. and i suppose it was.

but after reading about it, i found its based on a true story, and watching the movie, i find myself wondering 'what did her husband do that was so wrong??'

i honestly saw nothing in this movie to indicate abuse. i saw a loving man tearing himself in half trying to make his wife happy AND his family happy. Show his daughter his heritage.

i saw his wife act very selfish, disrespectful and refused to understand anything at all.

am i the only on who feels this way? :shymuslima1:

(also, i am well aware that this movie is not an accurate telling of islam nor iran. )

 

[Hajjerr]

:salam2: dear Jennie, i did not saw the movie, but i suppose it is another try to show people how hard life has a muslim wife and how much she suffers by loosing her so called freedom because of her muslim housband ? pff, i can allready imagine, if is like this i dont even whant to see it i am so tired of all this islamophobia and all this lies, i live it everyday and i ask Allah swt patience to bear it, ameen

 

[esperanza]

salam .. ihave seen the film and read the book many years ago..of course people try to give a bad image of islam..but dont forget the book was written by the woman who lived through this

and from what iremeber she went through a hard time ,unable to leave the house isolated...adjusting to a new culture alone is very hard....she felt her life turned upside down..it can be co difficult in a new country where few like or understand you....

so yes of course the film will try to show negatie aspets,,,but ido beluieve she went through a really hard time

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,


Dumb movie. It is a woman who chooses to look at life as a victim. It's almost in the psyche of the non-Muslim western woman. Life is horrible and terrible, and I am old, and nobody loves poor little me..I am so pretty and ..poor little helpless me..

And this woman was a poor little helpless rich girl....Hello..did she stop to think...or did she take the time to learn....she closed her eyes to beauty and remained in the state of kufr.

Her self-imposed prison was in her mind.

 

[Hajjerr]

Assalaam walaikum,


Dumb movie. It is a woman who chooses to look at life as a victim. It's almost in the psyche of the non-Muslim western woman. Life is horrible and terrible, and I am old, and nobody loves poor little me..I am so pretty and ..poor little helpless me..

And this woman was a poor little helpless rich girl....Hello..did she stop to think...or did she take the time to learn....she closed her eyes to beauty and remained in the state of kufr.

Her self-imposed prison was in her mind.

i imagined is something like this, i am sure many people who see this movie cry for her. , because of woman like her, people put a label on me also and they didnt even gaved me the chance to prove i am not like this ..but Allah knows best PS : i love reading your direct and honest replys Aapa :salam2:

 

[Jennie]

Assalaam walaikum,


Dumb movie. It is a woman who chooses to look at life as a victim. It's almost in the psyche of the non-Muslim western woman. Life is horrible and terrible, and I am old, and nobody loves poor little me..I am so pretty and ..poor little helpless me..

And this woman was a poor little helpless rich girl....Hello..did she stop to think...or did she take the time to learn....she closed her eyes to beauty and remained in the state of kufr.

Her self-imposed prison was in her mind.

this was my take on this movie. she never once gave it a chance, tried to love her life in iran, never once tried to see what her husband saw.

i DO agree, her husband had a temper. but it was mostly due to the stress of his family, and his sister, and once they had moved out to thier own home, she could have been so happy! while watching the movie i was jealous of her to have such a beautiful home and loving family.

but she faught each and every step of the way. never even thought that perhaps she could have been happy.

 

[Hatty]

what if it was the other way around? would we have a movie?

 

[esperanza]

what if it was the other way around? would we have a movie?

interesting thought..probably not..

but it is a fact that there are women who marry into other cultures or move to life in other xountries...who find themsleves in very difficult or even dangerous situation....

 

[Hatty]

interesting thought..probably not..

but it is a fact that there are women who marry into other cultures or move to life in other xountries...who find themsleves in very difficult or even dangerous situation....

yes you are right. I did not say otherwise. Do you think it is better to marry someone from the same country, language, culture etc.....I do think so. I was not like that. I always wanted to marry someone completely different in all those things but experience taught me otherwise.

 

[alf2]

what if it was the other way around? would we have a movie?

There is a documentary, please read further.

Okay in the movie, Sally Field's character said that her husband tapped her and her daughter in Iran. And she said he beat her, and he wouldnt let her leave the house, etc. The movie is based on her book.

BUT a few years ago some Swedish filmmakers did a documentary called "Without My Daughter" From the Husband's perspective. He said that his wife lied, and one day he came home and they were just gone. They fled back to America and she NEVER allowed him to see his daughter again....

Very sad. He has passed away now. He NEVER saw his daughter again.

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

The poor little helpless girl was seduced by the big nasty enemy; she lost her senses; she comes to and is aided by the ones who kind and sympathetic. She finds her way home. And makes it on Good Morning America.

She got her fifteen minutes of fame. She made money from a movie.

 

[Jennie]

There is a documentary, please read further.

Okay in the movie, Sally Field's character said that her husband tapped her and her daughter in Iran. And she said he beat her, and he wouldnt let her leave the house, etc. The movie is based on her book.

BUT a few years ago some Swedish filmmakers did a documentary called "Without My Daughter" From the Husband's perspective. He said that his wife lied, and one day he came home and they were just gone. They fled back to America and she NEVER allowed him to see his daughter again....

Very sad. He has passed away now. He NEVER saw his daughter again.

i watched his documentary too. and i felt so sad for him. i also feel bad for the girl Mahtob, as she seems to have grown up believing her mother about her father being an evil person.

 

[Jennie]

what if it was the other way around? would we have a movie?

probably not in this day and age in america, equal rights have gone in the oposite direction. where women were treated badly in the past, now men are being treated equally as bad. it makes me sad and even worse, when talking with my american friends, they cant believe i feel that way. i am very anti feminist. (when i say feminist i mean the extremists of feminism)

 

[a_stranger]

:salam2:

I think only Islam can solve the problem of feminism and put things in order When both man and woman know his position , and purpose in this life
Allah subhanahu wa taala is the only one who can put things in the suitable places:



*!*!*!*!*!Al-Mulk [67:14] *!*!*!*!*!*! *!*!
أَلَا يَعْلَمُ مَنْ خَلَقَ وَهُوَ اللَّطِيفُ الخبير

67:14 Should He not know,- He that created? and He is the One that understands the finest mysteries (and) is well-acquainted (with them).

 

[esperanza]

yes you are right. I did not say otherwise. Do you think it is better to marry someone from the same country, language, culture etc.....I do think so. I was not like that. I always wanted to marry someone completely different in all those things but experience taught me otherwise.

well that issue as given Many sleepless nights,,
i would like to still belive that we can marry from another country culture and with love and patience overcome differences
but in reality its much harder

but even from same culture and country there can be problems too

 

[esperanza]

i dint doubt that the whole story was sensationalised and distorted ..but have you ever lived in a completely foreign culture and country..the lonliness and disorientation can be overwhelming

its ok to say that the woman should do this behave like this,,but the reality can be much different

 

[a_stranger]

i dint doubt that the whole story was sensationalised and distorted ..but have you ever lived in a completely foreign culture and country..the lonliness and disorientation can be overwhelming

its ok to say that the woman should do this behave like this,,but the reality can be much different

:salam2:
I understand you dear sister, but believe even the woman who live in her own country has many problems and difficuiltes ........i guess this is the nature of life......nothing perfect.....we should try to change , feel the good we have and have patience.if everything is fine now then what is the differance between dunya and janna.

 

[Hajjerr]

:salam2:
I understand you dear sister, but believe even the woman who live in her own country has many problems and difficuiltes ........i guess this is the nature of life......nothing perfect.....we should try to change , feel the good we have and have patience.if everything is fine now then what is the differance between dunya and janna.

:salam2: yes, even in own country a woman can have problems, everyone speeks about how hard it is in other culture, but what hapens when you feel you dont belong to the culture you were born in ? i never felt in my heart my countries traditions, or theyr way of life,nothing, i allawys felt this lonliness and feel like a stranger...and since i finded islam i discovered the ONLY life i want to have, wich is muslim life wherever i may be, beeing a wife before beeing european, american or whatever. I dont like at all this anti-islam propaganda that many people swallow it very easy .....i just trust Allah, He knows better and inchallah will solve things in His way, no matter what.

 

[jonas1993]

There really is a very high amount of mistreatment and unfairness to people who are perceived as Muslim, Arab, or Middle Eastern in the USA and Europe.

I have not seen the movie so can't form an opinion on it but I will say maybe she did not understand what it was like to move from USA to Iran? I have grown up my life around the world. My father is Emirati and my mother is Persian and I grew up in France, South Africa and Italy. Along with United Arab Emirates and I can say there is a bit of a culture shock for me going to college in USA. Maybe this culture shock contributed to this particular womans being miserable. I do think that people need to try to be educated better about eachothers cultures however to make the world a better and more fair place.

I will watch this movie though to see what my opinion on this is. Is there any place also to get the story from the fathers side?

 

[a_stranger]

:salam2: yes, even in own country a woman can have problems, everyone speeks about how hard it is in other culture, but what hapens when you feel you dont belong to the culture you were born in ? i never felt in my heart my countries traditions, or theyr way of life,nothing, i allawys felt this lonliness and feel like a stranger...and since i finded islam i discovered the ONLY life i want to have, wich is muslim life wherever i may be, beeing a wife before beeing european, american or whatever. I dont like at all this anti-islam propaganda that many people swallow it very easy .....i just trust Allah, He knows better and inchallah will solve things in His way, no matter what.

:salam2:
Dear sister
I pray that Allah grant you a good muslem husband ,and you make a happy family have nice healthy good children. Amen